Wednesday, 7 June 2017

Book Review: Into the Water by Paula Hawkins

Why talk to your family about any of your personal issues?

In the last days before her death, Nel called her sister. Jules didn’t pick up the phone, ignoring her plea for help.

Now Nel is dead. They say she jumped. And Jules has been dragged back to the one place she hoped she had escaped for good, to care for the teenage girl her sister left behind.

But Jules is afraid. So afraid. Of her long-buried memories, of the old Mill House, of knowing that Nel would never have jumped.

And most of all she’s afraid of the water, and the place they call the Drowning Pool . . .

Paula Hawks has returned with about a pool, a drowning pool and the river that leads to the pool, the town next to the river, and I guess the people in the town. The follow-up to her popular debut, The Girl on the Train (reviewed). I am glad that this book wasn't titled The Girl in the Pool or do I immensely regret that it wasn't. It would probably be called The Girls of the Waters. Pool just sounds like holiday fun, rather than murder and death.

This novel is told in the point of view of a cast of  (over ten) characters. Jules, sister of dead Nel is probably the focus, but there is no clear protagonist. Most these characters are unlikable. All of them are, some of them are despicable. It was fine, but it was quite a detached affair. The pool was the focus, but also didn't feel like personification location. It was more just a lot of shit has gone down at this part of the river. It's conspiracy of a town, who cares about people's sad little lives and horrible personalities. There were attempts at redeeming, but I didn't care enough about these characters to care. Except for the few I wanted to die. This was more about the plots, which fine in a thriller especially when you are juggling so many characters to tell a story.

There are some similar plot motifs from Hawkins début, you argue repeating themes if you felt like it. There is several mysteries going on. The discovery of Nel's body in the river is the starting point, but its a track so we loop around a lot. Nel herself was interested in the drowning pool's history and mysteries, writing a book about them (which we do get excepts from), therefore pissing off the locals because everyone needs a motive. There is obvious red herring. There is some stuff in the plot that makes no sense, I mean people make no sense.

I now would like to randomly point out that a teacher having a relationship with a student is criminal offense under the The Sexual Offenses Act 2003 unless that student is 18 then it's a grey zone of probable firing (though can still be charged for). The teacher if caught would be put on the sex offender register. I can't imagine a way a teacher would not know that. (Once again if you're under 18 years old, don't trust people who are immediately interested in you sexually who are two years older than you. There is something wrong with them and I have not been proved wrong in this. Girls are not that maturer than boys, this is a myth that I won't get into a rant at the moment).

I listen to this on Audio book, with David Weyman, Imogen Church, Rachel Bavidge and Sophie Aldred. Like I said there is tons of character, so these actors just jump around a lot and characters have more than one voice actor, I guess the choice of having more than one came from them knowing it would make money and The Girl on the Train leading its self so well to having more than one voice actor and does gave the best distinction by actually having different voices to change to, especially as some characters are real minor and forgettable. They were all fine, we got a vast range of British Accents, though I did think Welsh which this book is definitely not set in Wales. It set in middle England or upper England. I don't know enough about English motorways or remembered the town's name to see if its a real place. Hours from New Castle or something. 

Overall, I give this book 4/5 stars for missing jewellery. This novel kept me interested is what I want from Mystery Thrillers. While different from her debut (which is should be), it is of the same level as her last novel. Once again if you like thrillers and the idea of this plot, gave it a go.

Wednesday, 31 May 2017

Book Review: A Girl Called Owl by A.J. Wilson

When Monster High runs out of Monsters...

It's bad enough having a mum dippy enough to name you Owl, but when you've got a dad you've never met, a best friend who needs you more than ever, and a new boy at school giving you weird looks, there's not a lot of room for much else. 

 So when Owl starts seeing strange frost patterns on her skin, she's tempted to just burrow down under the duvet and forget all about it. Could her strange new powers be linked to her mysterious father?And what will happen when she enters the magical world of winter for the first time?

A glittering story of frost and friendship, with writing full of magic and heart, A Girl Called Owl is a stunning debut about family, responsibility and the beauty of the natural world.

This novel sounds like a cool concept and then you realise it about 13 years old. To be honest, I think making the protagonist thirteen years old was a mistake, it feels like she should be fifteen for some of the storyline. Her maturity is not of a fifteen year old (though she probably maturer side of some of the 15 yrs old found in YA) but is of a 13 yr old so she is written well in that sense. Parts of the storyline do match, but there was just a lot dancing around the birds and the bees.

The story seems to get lost a bit, then I started analysing the chosen villain and how the conflict makes little sense. I feel like it was added as a second layer because there wasn't a natural villain to push the plot and character development along. Might have worked better without the forced conflict. Some of the chosen mythology was just kinda odd to throw in without explanation. Like it took from Arthurian Mythology for some reason, whilst being based in fay with some own invention I believe (google shows nothing).  I now would randomly like to point out that May used to be the first month of summer, and any Queen associated with that month that is an old myth would be a Summer Queen, and therefore next to Autumn already. Basically, I would have liked more thought, or explanation of thought behind the mythology. There was suggestions to things that would have been interesting, but were just intirgueing mentions.

There were important female characters in this book, but they're literally sat back and let the male ones rule the roost (for majority). Owl does have a girl best friend, but there was not she could add to plot/action as she is human.

The characterisation was consisted and decent for our main characters. But a certain important character's characterisation filp-floped so much that I for sure thought he had to be a different character. There is no explanation for this.

The romance is this book is very mild, but clearly hinted at. There's also weird vibe from it, because I have no idea how old this guy is next this thirteen year and I feel like there has to be two years at least with plot stuff, so that just humanly wrong (if you are 13 years old, please stay away from people two years or older than you. There is something wrong if they are interested in you romantically. This rings true till twenty basically) or he is immortally a thirteen year old and so is she so that might just be tragic. This could just me thinking way too much about the plot.

Overall, I give this book 3/5 stars for accidental freezes. In writing a review of this book, I have probably thought too much about this stand alone book was ever meant to be thought about (if there is a sequel, it will lose points, if you say the end, then its the end). Its charming, middle-grade book, that probably recommend past that age, but for that age sure.

I got this book for review off NetGalley and Macmillan Children's Books.

Wednesday, 19 April 2017

Book Review:The Miniaturist by Jessie Burton

If they had only kept it in their pantaloons.

There is nothing hidden that will not be revealed...

On an autumn day in 1686, eighteen-year-old Nella Oortman knocks at the door of a grand house in the wealthiest quarter of Amsterdam. She has come from the country to begin a new life as the wife of illustrious merchant trader Johannes Brandt, but instead she is met by his sharp-tongued sister, Marin. Only later does Johannes appear and present her with an extraordinary wedding gift: a cabinet-sized replica of their home. It is to be furnished by an elusive miniaturist, whose tiny creations mirror their real-life counterparts in unexpected ways ...

Nella is at first mystified by the closed world of the Brandt household, but as she uncovers its secrets she realizes the escalating dangers that await them all. Does the miniaturist hold their fate in her hands? And will she be the key to their salvation or the architect of their downfall? Beautiful, intoxicating and filled with heart-pounding suspense, The Miniaturist is a magnificent story of love and obsession, betrayal and retribution, appearance and truth. 

This book was hyped way too much for what it is. A bad historical fiction, I listen to the audio book version of this from the library. I wish that meant I hadn't spent money on it and I haven't but I'm pretty sure I brought the ebook version at one point because voucher.

I'm not a big fan of historical fiction, except for Victorian Britain (that more to do with the insanity of the Victorians and the secret, weird stuff they got up to). I probably made a mistake in looking up the person this book is sort of based on. Sort of, in not all attempt to tell a possible story about the person with that name in history; the Petronella Oortman that did own a cabinet doll house and married Johannes Brandt. She was a rich widow, not impoverished upper-class teenager. The real Petronella sounds interesting. 

Not sure where the hype came from, because it originated from the Publishing world before the novel got this cool cover. The cover is fabulous and does deserve the hype. The novel in no way does. I think the setting of Amsterdam and some of the subject matter is what could sparked people's interest, but I had real hard time getting to the core of those subjects. The plot is actually dumb and depressing at the same time. This book needed plot re-haul. There something of an interesting story there, but things were set up and abandoned. If only one of the social justice plots had been taken, then maybe they would have been time to the explore the Miniaturist and not this thing where even the main character doesn't time to think about it. The Miniaturist character was interesting but very little was done with it. I ran out of things to say that ain't big plot spoilers and there are sites that did recaps.

I went on these recaps sites because I was super bored, but also intrigued. If this wasn't an audio book or if I had found something more interesting to listen to, I would not have finished this book and I would have not lost nothing anything from doing that.

The character of Nella is boring. There is very little personality, she is a very Mary Sue with her 17-year-old peers. The reason this is not a YA book because it’s too boring to have any chance of keeping a teenager interested, also there is semi-graphic sex. There was attempt of character development, I could tell this was meant to be a coming age story for Nella. However, Nella was just unpleasant when she did show personality and dumb. I didn't like or enjoy any of the characters.

In terms of historical fact, it's as depressing as it should be. Women having no real option but to marry, and people are prejudice against the different. The fact that is book is so depressing is another reason I don't get the hype. There is also no real romance. Maybe because it is so different from most narratives about the past is why so people got behind it, but looking at reviews I don't see anyone truly love this book. The characters a very modern in the way they behaviour as well, but I don't know much much about Amsterdam past society structures.

The writing style was borderline modern poetic with random Dutch words in. I pick up no decent style from it, nor enjoy what we given. Burton might just need time and practice to developed her voice but right now there's nothing unique. Very bland, sometimes verges on purple prose. 

The audio book narration was bad for something read by the writer. Jessie Burton reads her own words without passion. I know she an Actor, so perhaps that's the issue with her reading that she did it like someone else work or this book is too boring for even the writer to convince me.

Overall, I give this book 2/5 stars for public sexcapade. This is Jessie Burton’s Debut so I won't be closing door to her but I don't know if I would bother with any more historical fiction. I do her next novel is set (at least partly) in the last century. In theory this is a good, interesting book, but the execution needs development. It was okay, I generally just don’t like historical fiction, nor weird fanfiction about real people.

Saturday, 4 March 2017

A Gay Villian in a Disney Film. How bold of you?

The Beauty and the Beast remake is officially bullshit. The set design and costumes look questionable in the trailer. The CGI looks better in the 25 year old film they remake. Also there's way too much of it, there are forest in real life, and if not why not just pirate the ones from the original. Hell, they original tigs that came out the first try might look better (some obscure B&B production reference). They is also no trace of the soundtrack in the trailer which makes me think one of the main cast can't actually sing, can they? If that thriller music bullshit in the film's actual score, then you gone fucked up. The one thing Beauty and the Beast did not needed mess with was it soundtrack.

Well, actually I think it would be nice to have the Beast's song 'If I Can't Love Her' in a film, that debuted in the musical. The Beast having his own song makes sense. The rest of the Beauty & Beast Broadway musical only songs can be left (this does not include Human Again as it can now be seen with the rest of the film. Also they will messed that up so badly). Besides that addition, the original scores and songs are masterpieces that stand legacy as the last music of the Great Howard Ashman (its his last complete work, he started work on Aladdin but sadly not much of anything made it into the final film, it just the way animated film process works at Disney).

Which is maybe why the gay thing should make you angrier than you already are. We're being promised a gay moment in the remake and its not Lumaire kissing Cogsworth's on lips instead of the checks like in the original scene after the Battle. I also love how almost everyone has been secretly shipping Lumaire and Cogsworth all this time (out of interest I tried to find Fanfiction, there's some but none of it looked good). Even if not a romantic couple, I like to imagine them still bickering past retirement by the sea.

No we getting a gay sidekick of the villain that was originally just for comic relief. Who ever came up with this idea is clearly not queer in anyway? You would think, but Bill Condon is gay man. Because even people who ship Le Fou and Gaston (these shippers exist because all ships exist on the internet because people are strange beautiful creatures) would not sing praises of someone making a villainous character. The Le Fou is sidekick but he does manage to do fuck-up shit by himself.  It's not creative. It almost every villain ever.

Disney is pack full of villain characters that read gay already, because they queer coded and Le Fou wasn't really one of them once you ignore the hero worshipping he does for Gaston (though, he is gay enough to start a musical number to cheer up Gaston, but that is stereotype). Ursula was model on a dragqueen (one of the reason she the best) and the male villains are majority queer-coded, even the ones that are sexually threatening to the main female character still sort of have this. (Jafar, why did you even care about Jasmine once you had the genie?) Disney is not the only one guilty of this, but guilty they are. There is tons of stuff about queer-coding online in general and with Disney in mind. They can probably explain it better than me.

The next thing is Le Fou is going to be in love with the straight Gaston (he could be autoromantic, but then that would leave everyone in the cold). They is no way that gonna be requited unless they have a complete overhaul of the characters and fuck that. Villains should have justifications for what they doing, but it doesn't need to be justifiable to the audience. I like having sociopathic villains who care about themselves. Maleficent was ruined by her film. She was the Mistress of Evil fighting some bad arse fairies, turned into a victim that faced up against idiots who couldn't look after a baby. Though, it would be amusing to see them fuck up Gaston by trying make him likable after having attempt to blackmail Belle into marrying him when he had no concern over where she had been the past few months. Even if you thought Belle's father was crazy, wouldn't you start to worry when no one had seen her over a month (I feel B&B has to happen over at least month, but no clear time line besides the seasons changing). She probably dead in the woods and Le Fou has died in the snow.

Le Fou blindly follows Gaston. That's just sad. Very sad. Why would anyone be happy about this? Having a gay villain in love with a straight person is not a watershed moment, it go fuck yourself  moment you queerbaiting arsehole, Bill Condon. The amount of self-gratitude in telling people about this before the movie has came out proves that it nothing but a marketing tool to get people who ain't going to see another CGI monster that Disney has thrown out. Even if actually Le Fou kisses another man, it means nothing because he a villain sidekick in a live-action remake. It's not a Disney animated film that I'm going to show my kids. It's not a main character. Its not a character we're meant to root for. It's the same bullshit that the queer community has been putting up for years. You don't get congratulate yourself till I see a Princess kiss another Princess. Not till the hero of the story is the one that out and proud. Disney specially is making coming of age stories, the stories of LGBTQA+ have these quality. You have to brave to be yourself, because even now people will torlant you, the way you were born, but they will still chip away at you with 'harmless' comments or do shit like this. This doesn't make me happy, it upsets me that you would do this and bring Howard Ashmen into this. A gay man who died of disease that was ignore until it was pandemic, until it start to effect straight people.

Director Bill Condon on Howard Ashman: 'Specifically for him it was a metaphor for AIDS. He was cursed and this curse had brought sorrow on all those people who loved him and maybe there was a chance for a miracle and a way for the curse to be lifted. It was a very very concrete thing that he was doing.’ Where did you get this info from? Even if you read this in the film, why would you make the character called the Fool, gay as means of honouring him? Why would you do that to him? He wrote lyrics (apparently, dad was an inventor because he wanted to write an inventing song for him and that does sound cool), he did have massive effect on how the film turn out, he's key figure in the Disney Renaissance but that story was there. Several people mounded it. He was actually honoured in the 10th Adversary by the inclusion of Human Again, a song cut for the pacing of the song. His actual passion project was Aladdin which he never got to finish.

Also if the Beast is called Adam in the film then I going to find you and hit you over the head with creepy Mrs Potts and her monstrous offspring. Serious, what the fuck is up with the art direction in this film? Don't worry, Stephen Chbosky, I'm just going to make you eat copies of your slightly ablelist book instead. I know in studio films no one person is responsible, but I'm blaming you two for now because even if wasn't your idea, I have enough issue with yous not to feel guilty about it. Serious, director Bill Condon you should have stayed quiet till the film was out, then responded to people's criticism. Frankly, I think the only reason you brought Ashman into this is so people can't critize you for this. But your wrong but because I will criticize more now.

"And that’s what has its pay-off at the end, which I don’t want to give away. But it is a nice, exclusively gay moment in a Disney movie."
Gay for Disney or actually gay. Because here's the thing no gives a fuck about Le Fou at the end of Beauty and the Beast. What happened to him? Who cases after he had a pair of scissors in his arse...for FUCK SAKE, Condon you're gay how do you think this a good idea? I don't know what I expected of someone who directed two Twilight Films. Is it drugs? Is it mental health? Do gays past a certain time in media, forget what actual representation looks like? Do you know what Queerbaiting even is? Is still Queerbaiting when there's actual Gay on screen (apparently)? Why do middle-aged gay men kept doing stupid shit like this to us? Would Disney only agree if was Le Fou in a scene that could be easily cut for homophobic countries without issue? Is it between him and the guy who got arse lit on fire? Why makes this film even more unwatchable?
In summary, I don't think the film looks good and I have a long arse list as to why. The casting: Emma Watson is typecasting herself; the beast is 21 years old, not forty old looking 34 yr old; Josh Glad is not likable; Gaston has not been eating a dozen eggs since he was a lad and Mrs Potts face is at the side of teapot. One of those is a joke, guess which one. Maybe this Lumaire and Cogsworth will be good if I shut my eyes.

I will be probably dragged to this film, and I will hate watch it so I can I send a list of improvement Disney has to make for it to be a 'watershed moment'. (Condon, are aware of the phrase "past  the Watershed" as in the time children are expected not be watching tv so lets show the adult stuff now as in not appropriate for kids. If either way, bad use of words). Though, literally just give us a kiss between two good characters to start with. Doesn't have to be the protagonist. Like if you had Lumaire and Cogworths be a romantic couple, we would have been cool. Not the person whose name translated to the fool.

To be honest, I use to have fantasy about how I would do live-action version of B&B, but mostly mine would have been live action, not CGI to death. There are forests Disney. I know what European Forests look like. Built sets look cooler than computer ones. I can tell the difference and you have the money for both the cost of renting the space and the building of the an actual set. I know cause I've seen Pirates of the Caribbean. You built a dock twice. The cave with the treasure was a massive set. They could be hiding the cool sets, but those woods definitely are fake and terrible looking.

Okay, I need to stop before I point out that making main characters look horrifying is not a good way to make them likable. Throw Chip out the window, Emma Watson, before he steals your soul. Oh, wait I just did. Oops.

Farewell, I will write again next week where I discuss the Scottish notion to threaten violence with no real plan to do it even if given the opportunity. If think I swear a lot this post, remember that Howard Ashman wrote a song with lyric: "I'm a green mean mother from outer-space". Maybe that metaphour for AIDs too Condon and I mean just that song. The rest of the musical is clearly "Not to feed the plants". Ashman was very clear on that.  Now I'm going to Listen to a "A Friend like Me" and cry.

Saturday, 4 February 2017

Driving Puppies

I hate driving. In the latest adventures of why Rachel Verna should not be behind a wheel: my tyre ripped. Its was raining and I hit pothole. A pothole that was in the centre of the road and had not been there yesterday. It was at the bottom a hill so it was filled with water. It was pretty big at the time. I have been paranoid about my tyres before but now I definitely know what a complete flat tyre feels like.

I was listening to My Favorite Murder. The perfect thing to be listening to by yourself at the side of the road, especially when they talking about a hitchhiker who survived getting arms cuts off and was thrown off a cliff (Mary Vincent is her name if you're interested in looking up the story).  Lesson is don't get in a car with strange men, even if it looks like you could out run them. So of course, I got in a car with a strange man who gave me a lift to my door. But he worked for Scottish Power, I had a charged phone and for some reason a tiny wrench from the back of my car (I should find it and put back in my boot). They had stopped when they saw me at the side of the road trying to fix the tyre with the stupid tyre in can thing. I couldn't actually get the cap off the tyre and they had to get pilers to get it off. It was all for naught as the tyre was ripped at the side (sidewall).

I got home, locked the door and Leia was happy to see me again. This was nightmare scenario as my parents were an hour away at an important appointment so I would have to had walked at the side of super busy country road where people drive like manics despite escaping sheep and stand in the middle of the road. (I droved past one at the side of the road this week too. Surprisingly only one, there's usually escape in threes). There are constant car crashes on those roads as well.

I also witness the aftermath of a car crash at the junction of a hospital. It didn't look serious and they were in the right place as though life was an episode of Casualty.

So the next day, Wednesday, I ended waiting in the car for an hour waiting for someone to come and change my two front tyres while continuing to listen MFM (I would stop but I am currently obsessed and maybe I shouldn't have let him know where I live but Neighbours are witnesses). Then I made it to uni with half hour to spare like Tuesday should have went. This was super annoying affair as I missed my only practical sort of class where I lost out on a lot not being there

I let Leia outside today. She has felt the feel of muddy grass beneath her paws. She is still cautious of leaving the house without me lifting her over the threshold but she likes it when she out though. Running around the garden, wagging her tail. She so big now. I hate it. She not very baby like but still had to wake me at 1am to lift her on my bed so still small. Just not tiny anymore.

She is not interested in being walked. She ran straight back in the house, though maybe the other dogs outside freaked her out. She is coward, like my Shep. She also doesn't like the jacket my mother insisted on buying her. Its the sound of velcro she doesn't like.

Uni is an on going process that I should be working on so I will leave with thoughts of dogs and tyres lurking in your mind. Watch out for Sheep and holes.

Saturday, 28 January 2017

My Favourite Horror

Hello, I'm writing this while listening to 'My favourite Murder' its a comedy podcast talking about real life murders/crimes. If you've been subjected to my jokes about murder and death then you're not surprised that I like this podcast and recommend it. They are entertaining if not totally accurate in their storytelling. I don't really have a favourite murder, H. H. Holmes' murder hotel probably is it because it is insane that he almost got away with that. Its the mix creepy building and serial killing that makes it interesting. They making a film, the set design should at least be good.

I finally made it to British Cinema for Horror Week where we went over vampires. I feel like I should now not show up for any of the class. Yep, just here for horror and my own kind. I really wish I had made it last week, but oh well. Also found out my lecture knows my name and for some reason I am alarmed by this. I rather be anonymous when my crimes come to light. I know I should make joke confessions on the internet but I would lose so much of my comedy. Lets leave this thoughts here.

Glasgow is back in the house on medication. It was a worrying time, but he appears to peeing peeing on me because he dislike Leia's attempt at play. She has yet to understand that the cats are not friends, nor are they likely to be friendly towards her. He is grumpy boy hiding behind the couch.

I have decided to be a Producer for uni course due to not having a story I wanted to do (I had ideas but they not ready to be born into a pitch yet). I should have probably pitch in the pursuit of making myself do uncomfortable things, but oh well. Some of the ideas are intriguing, some were problematic. The one I'm producing could be problematic but I'm going to do my best to make sure its not.

Shockingly a secret ep of 'Sherlock' did not play last week and its existence has finally been denied, along with the Queerbaiting..right...Glasgow kissing with longing looks never happened. Apple Tree Yard was boring Heterosexuality stuff then horrible trigger warning events so I won't be watching it again. The set up doesn't make me think it will be dealt with well so I won't be watching any more of it. Doesn't make me want to read the book now either.

I really hate driving, especially in Scottish Weather. I drove through ice, fog at night where I could not see anything but the slight lines of the road, hail/snow that due to the wind looked like optical illusion. Also I probably need new tires but I would have to talk to someone other my parents to fix that. So lets just die instead.

With that note, I just shall leave you this week in favour of staring at the cellar...I mean celling. I don't have a cellar. I don't. FAREWELL.

*Flees into the night.*

Saturday, 21 January 2017

League of Sherlock (When fandom go insane)

This week has been bad as my poor cat Glasgow has been in pain since Wednesday and is the vet right down. They have to drain his blander several times Been having thoughts about whether fate can be that cruel.

So I have been sitting on my Sherlock thoughts on this blog in favour of actually posting, instead of writing six thousand words essay about on critical nature of fandom. I had thought about doing an actual video but new tinhat stuff is happening all the time and I am a slow video editor.

The Sherlock fandon have decided to prove their insanity by claiming their secret 4th episode of the 4th season. This would be awesome and could make sense, but BBC. The BBC doesn't have the money for that and there's no reason for them to have a secret ep. The thing I do feel kinda bad for Mofftiss in that they wrote an episode so terrible that people immediately thought fake when it was leaked, then after being officially broadcast, then the fandom really got behind this idea. I liked the final episode as whole but it stands up to no scrutiny at all which the fandon of a crime show is likely to do. The writing has not been great this series. All my criticism is with the writing, it major problem this series.

Skip to the last two paragraphs/non-white text if you don't want spoilers for the Series 4 of 'Sherlock':
 To start with ep 1 was utterly pointless and is full of filler. I was mostly bored throughout of it. It also felt like stuff was being backtracked in it, the the initials thing does not seem like the end game of the USB which is odd considering they knew they were getting two more series and good writers should know what's going on with their characters even if it never reveal, it keeps motivation relevant. Then Mary dies in the most boring and utterly pointless way without being interesting at at all. She should have been hit by a black cab at the start of ep 1 and then have the plot of ep.2 in one and then we could have another actual case instead of Boredom. The thing is Mary was a character destined to die. As soon as John married her, she was dead. Ep 1 is my least favourite because of this and adds nothing to the series plot other than the death of Mary and there's is no case because it only covers stuff that's actually been covered.

Ep 2 is the best of this series, but it comes no where to being my favourite ep of the series as whole. I like the cinematography, the case is a bit insane, but both John and Sherlock are insane at this point in time so it works. Mrs Hudson is also confirmed as a bad arse in this ep something we all knew. The cliffhanger ending is more like the usual finale of Series we got use to with Sherlock where at least of one of the boys is doomed to die. How will they get out of it?

By coping out of it, of course. Like I said I liked this episode but I also hate it for legit reasons. If you're a fan of League of Gentlemen (LoG) then you will get so many kicks out of this. Probably because the opening is more like like an ep of LoG than it is of Sherlock. Maybe that is kinda a bad thing. Then we get references of Mycroft having had played a woman and if you have watched LoG then you know that Gatiss makes a strangely attractive women, then we see Mycroft dressed up in a fake beard and teeth making me think a certain Butcher and his mystery meat.

This epideo (I give up on spelling the word 'episode' right) was big up as being "history making" and "ground-breaking" hence why people thought Johnlock might be a thing (maybe the Russian dub leaking was meant to be a warning that gay was not going to happen).  Of course, I never believed this because its a BBC cash cow. They also was a promotion saying Sherlock is Love which brings us to my "no. Just no." scene. I hate the scene with Molly. I generally dislike Molly as a character because of how she has not developed in 7 yrs past being love with a person who doesn't really know and he has never played attention to her except when she usefully to him. I find her to be pathetic and would have been happy to see her blow up except that she realistically the one watching the baby. Who does has baby Watson? What was the point of the scene, but to piss people off? 

I don't get people who ship Molly and Sherlock other than forcing heterosexuality on everyone. I feel uncomfortable when the show actually does this, because their early ques were always gay or asexual and the character is canonically either these things as established by his women hating (I have theories as on how I'm justified in not letting this ruin Sherlock Holmes for me. Er, Victorians). The scene adds nothing to the series and Molly is not enough of a character for me to care. If she had died, then it would have proved stakes but she doesn't so there are none for anyone and nothing matters. Characters we just met don't really count.

I had a conversation with a straight male. He said he didn't see Johnlock but he also said "John was infatuated with Sherlock". I of course pointed out that meant love (a form of one I guess, it seen as sexual thing anyway). I guess this is proof people ignore cues of gay when they're not interesting in seeing them. Did Mofftiss write them on purpose? One half of them is gay, so which is they non-queerbaiting case kinda dies as they must have know what cues they were giving to the watcher. 

I used to defend Sherlock as not being Queerbaiting as it was just addressing the "gayness" of the canon which being Victorian can be read as sexual tense between Watson and Holmes or Watson has a giant man crush on Holmes. After The Empty House story I read it as hella gay. Back to Sherlock, Friendships are more important than romantic love and it would be nice to have show just built on platonic love, except it wrote more like a romance. Maybe Mofftiss just have no idea how to write beautiful friendships, therefore fall back on the way they would write romance.

It doesn't help that as viewers we have been taught to read good chemistry as romance. Real life friendships/like of each other as people, makes for good fake romantic chemistry. Surprisingly, real life romantic couple make for horrible chemistry on screen. Martin Freeman and Benedict Cumberbatch have decent chemistry therefore we read it as romance on screen.

I think the main thing everyone one forgets in the fandon is that we are watching alternative universe fanfiction that is somehow funded by the BBC.Therefore, having a series final that backtracks the whole show and contradicts major plot points of the previous series shouldn't be shocking. We are in the crack session that many good fanfiction falls into after several sequels/series. The secret sister is such a tropes that goes back to make John look hella gay again, because John had been sexting (god, why?) his best friend's sister, in fanfiction that makes him in love with Sherlock. 

The big reveal that Redbeard was a human all along is dumb. Super dumb. Its dumb as having a secret sister locked in a prison that didn't exist last series. We will ignore what a contradiction this dog boy brings up, because that's not the main reason why its dumb. Its not an escalation. Your sister killing your dog best friend, does not read as being worse than killing your human best friend. It just makes the viewer go "WHAT?" or "what? that doesn't make any sense. Why no police in that woods then?" In neither of those surrandos am I ever talking to her again. If any of my sister killed the puppy I've only had for two week by drowning her in a well and giving me a riddle to find the puppy, that sister is dead to me. 

I also hate the sister things, because underlying message that Sherlock is the way he is because of his sister being psychotic. In this backtrack, we get on to ableist territory. Basically, Mofftiss have planted themselves in a landmine field and I think we should leave them for a while. There is probably a idiot out they arguing it feminist for Sherlock to be define by a female character, but it just bullshit writing and 'Sherlock' cannot be argue as being anything near a feminist show after they turn The Woman into a love interest for Sherlock and has to be saved by him instead of getting one over him.

The plane thing was immediately fake. It becomes clear that it can't be happening in the same time as the challenges because planes do not just stay in the air if no one is flying them. They go down. So that wasn't a fakeout really, but Sherlock should have seen it as fake. She was in unmanned plane for hours with no turbulence. 

The montage at the end sucks. Lestrade's line is really forced, no one talks like that, that whole conversation is so awkward so that they can have that quote mangled in. Mary narration is odd too. Its meant to be a message for John (and Sherlock?), but she talks about them as if she doesn't know them personally. It obviously meant to be a finale. This is bad, don't do finale with Watson and Holmes. They just keep going so don't cap your show unless its with beekeeper Sherlock (who lives forever in my mind with Watson buried in the flowerbed). Also the last words of 'Sherlock' is currently 'Baker Street Boys'. Further proof that Mofftiss have been reading the fanfiction of their own show. Super dumb.

To be honest, I have started to believe the insanity that a fourth ep will play tomorrow instead of Apple Tree Yard, despite that being a very real thing that doesn't even have the same run length as Sherlock. Probably not. Was gonna watch Apple Tree Yard anyway as I own the book, but I am nowhere near having the motivation to actually read it. Ads for adaptation usually make me want to read the book, not this case. Maybe that's a sign. Oh, well I have nothing better to do (okay, I have tons of better things to do, but will I bother to those things?)

That's my mess of review of 'Sherlock'. Now and I'm off to write ten thousands word essay on why Elementary is the worst thing I have ever seen and hiding Leia Sherlock away from my sister.

Saturday, 14 January 2017

Aims for 2017

I brought a puppy last Sunday.  She is mine and her name is currently Leia. I think she might be more a Luke, but doesn't have quite the right ring to it. I was also think of Sherlock but my mother didn't buy that was a girl's name either. I've been toying with the idea of getting a another dog since I lost Shep. You can't replace animals in the same you can't replace people, but having another dog to do the things I use to do with him will help. I just miss that type of companionship.
The bouse is that Mysti is terrified of her because she thinks she a cat. 

My life-endangerment with cars as I got stunk and slightly spun on the road twice due to the heavy snow. My gut said not to leave the house. I should have listened to its basic instinctive. I driving. Driving in snow is as terrible as everyone said. I got stuck, turned back, then got stuck again ten minutes from my house. Someone stop and towed my car out of the snow. Thanks if reading this, you are probably not.

  1. Read 52 books or the same number I buy. I want to go back to reading at least a book a week as I think this is the best thing for me. I buy way more books than I read and I mostly read books I don't actually own. I just
  2. Finish 10 book series. I own a lot of full series and I just want to finish them. I'm even sitting on one book away from finishing it.
  3.  Write. I've just not been writing the way I should be. I think I've put too much pressure on myself. I just want back to aimless short stories.
  4. I would like to post weekly to this blog. This blog is sitting empty a lot of last year and I have stressed myself out to much the quality of content and this was never what this blog was for. It was for quality so I was away writing something. I need to go back to something, instead of nothing.
  5. I would like to edit the footage I'm sitting on. I have 2TB harddrive that almost full and I need to sort it because it kind silly to sit on that much raw footage as I have edit some of it and I'm never going to re-edit it. I guess its just hard to let go of your past self.
  6. I would like to push myself more in my film making. I think I have been playing it too safe and the only way to improve is to get out of my comfort zone. Take more risks. Make more I guess too.
  7. Train & regularly walk the puppy that I acquired recently. She not had all her jags yet so she can't be walked but I 'm working on her learning her name and the other basics.
  8. Start Journalling regularly again. I don't want to miss moments anymore. Even when I was blogging properly, I didn't share everything on here as something are too personal or just too weird to say on the internet where a future employers can google you and find this.
 That is all this week. See you next time.