Wednesday, 20 September 2017

Book Review: Monsters by Emerald Fennell

In my tourist trap of a town, the body showed up at the lake.

This is a murder mystery from the pov of someone who likely behind a murder mystery when they grow up.

I found the writing style in the opening to be off-putting as it read "special needs" (fake) that a certain book I hate wrote in completely. The style gets better as it goes on, I don't know if changes or I got used to it. The book is completely from the point of view of the girl, with her dead parents and neglectful at best aunt and uncle.

This deals with a lot of things common to Serial Killers, I didn't enjoy of how much of a follower the girl was, as I don't buy that narractive that female serial killers need a male counter-part to wake the killer. It seems more sexist than fact, a way to get less time when you're caught and is why female serial killers are likely to get a way with it as we speak.

The resolution was okay, it was set up fine, There was a part I just didn't buy. The journay was better than the end.

Overall, I give this 4/5 stars for obvious deads. This was an interesting book that plays with clichés and does a decent job of it. If you have a fascination with death and serial killers, then this is worth your time.

I got this book for review off Netgalley and published by Hot Key Books on 3rd September 2015. (I got it from the library recently so I'm finally getting to it.)

Wednesday, 6 September 2017

Book Review: Charlotte Says by Alex Bell

My Nana is out on that Isle pieces.

Following the death of her mother in a terrible fire, Jemima flees to the remote Isle of Skye, to take up a job at a school for girls. There she finds herself tormented by the mystery of what really happened that night.

Then Jemima receives a box of Frozen Charlotte dolls from a mystery sender and she begins to remember – a séance with the dolls, a violent argument with her step-father and the inferno that destroyed their home. And when it seems that the dolls are triggering a series of accidents at the school, Jemima realizes she must stop the demonic spirits possessing the dolls – whatever it takes. 

Another Red Eye book and the Prequel to Frozen Charlotte. The last book ends with a set up for a sequel, but I actually forgot that I said I would rather a prequel. Past me got what she wanted I guess. I would have to read Frozen Charlotte to see how much this book links up but there are nods to the first book in this.

Jemina is our leading lady and like most Edwardian girls without family, she needs to find work and she takes a job she barely qualified for as a teacher at Bordering School in the Isle of Sky. It's terrible, with abusive headmistress and her spooky past catches up to her.

We learn what's the deal with Frozen Charlotte books are and we get some fun Victorian ghost fun. The Victorians were obsessed with ghosts, it one of their many quirks. This book actually place ten years after Queen Victoria died, but who cares about any of the Edwards. I know I don't.

I don't care for Henry calling Jemina "Darling Girl", is he a middle-aged man? Did other young people really refer to people their own age as that? Weird thing: None of the main characters that ain't anticontagionists appeared to be from the Sky or Scotland. I mean this is for plot reason I guess, but why?

Overall, I give it 4/5 stars for Tiny Wigs. Alex Bell continues to be my favourite of the Red Eye writers I have read. This was decent addition to the Frozen Charlotte lore and I love them more now (but still would advise against listening to them, I'm hoping to finally read the other books in the Red Eye series before Halloween (I was an idiot who missed out on getting Fir by Sharon Gosling for review. Oh, well.) Strangely enough, it's the other female writers that I've not read yet. Though, I do own books by all of them (including the only Red Eye books I have physical copies of).

I got this for review off of NetGalley and it is being published by Stripes Publishing on 7th September 2017.

Wednesday, 30 August 2017

Book Review: I have No Secrets by Penny Joelson

Maybe this book should be called I have all the secrets.

I have no secrets of my own.
I can't do anything without someone knowing about it.
I can see, though, and I can hear, and sometimes
people forget that.
Sometimes people talk about me
as if I'm not there.
I hate that. 
And sometimes people tell me their secrets.
Dan did.
And I can't tell anyone.
I wish I could do something.  

This novel is told from POV of someone with cerebral palsy on the extreme end. It's done okay. She does feel like a person and full out character. Jemma is fourteen and has own stuff going on.

Jemma is also forested by a family who forest two other children with specials needs, an autistic non-verbal six-year Finn and Olivia whose nine and something going with her, which was interesting to see as I've not came across another book YA that had the main character in that situation as portrayed positively. It was nice to see that dynamics.

The mystery/thriller side is kinda slow as Jemma is unable to communicate to people in anyway, so a lot of it is just her frustration and overhearing things. I do feel like the ending was bit of cop out, but this is on the young side of YA.

Overall, I give this book 4/5 stars for nose technology. This was an interesting idea and I'm glad people with disabilities getting to be in Thriller-est books instead of just standard contemporaries, while straight contemporaries are fine (usually too romance heavy for me), but they often just about people's problems and not tracking much besides that, no conspiracy or magic. Though, this book's plot is heavily reliant on her disabilities, I still enjoyed it.

I also did a video review.

Book Review: The Diabolic by S. J. Kincaid

Let's kill people instead of solving our personal issues.

This books torches on a lot of stuff: problematic nature of monity, religion being wielded as a weapon and other fun triggering things.

Our main character is a killing machine, literally designed to be a biological entity that exists to destory threats of her charge.A lot of the novel deals with her humanity and whether she capable of loving someone else or if she has emotions at all.

The characters are okay. Lot of politican movements go on, so most characters have flaws and aspects that make them unlikable. I didn't really like any of them. Am I diabolic? The inclintate of like, but I never feel that invested. The relationships are done pretty well though, and there is a nice complex nature of characters. Nemesis makes a good protagionist.

The world building is done pretty well. With the royal family having such an euphansis and ignoring how science works, it feels very medievel while in space.  There is a religion where the comiso is god (makes sense compare to some other things). Some extreme jumps in logic in it, but those are common when it comes to religion. Gender roles do and don't existed in this novel, all the people with power are male, e.g. the emperor,  listed senators are male. Its not addressed as being a thing and there are powerful women, but more behind the screnes than in name.

Time for Rachel Verna points out something stupid (you decide if me pointing it out is stupid or the book is): Nemesis has no tear ducts...If I throw dirt in a diabolic's eyes, wouldn't they be blind until they wash their eyes out manually? Why would anyone take away a fighter's defenses? I know it all about how she has no emotions, therefore she can't cry, but tear ducts have a biological function other than showing emotions. Also, crying can itself be a defense for girls/children. It just seems dumb to do in practice.

The plot is mostly politican moments with romance throw in. It does raises questions about the value of love. I probably have liked this better if it wasn't romantic love that was the emphasis. Convenient stuff happens for a certain character that would almost be impossible to predict properly.  Feels slightly rushed at the end, but was probaby was the best ending place.

Overall, I give this book for 4/5 stars for nano hair. I understand this was written as a standalone and works as one, but I am keen to see what the future holds for Nemesis and this world.

 I got this book for Review from Netgalley and its being Simon and Schuster UK Children's

Wednesday, 23 August 2017

Book Review: Heir of Fire by Sarah J. Maas

So three years late is better than never.

Lost and broken, Celaena Sardothien’s only thought is to avenge the savage death of her dearest friend: as the King of Adarlan’s Assassin, she is bound to serve this tyrant, but he will pay for what he did. Any hope Celaena has of destroying the king lies in answers to be found in Wendlyn. Sacrificing his future, Chaol, the Captain of the King’s Guard, has sent Celaena there to protect her, but her darkest demons lay in that same place. If she can overcome them, she will be Adarlan’s biggest threat – and his own toughest enemy.

While Celaena learns of her true destiny, and the eyes of Erilea are on Wendlyn, a brutal and beastly force is preparing to take to the skies. Will Celaena find the strength not only to win her own battles, but to fight a war that could pit her loyalties to her own people against those she has grown to love?

I have reviewed the second book in this series and the start of Maas' other series. It's been over 3 years since I received an arc of this book, but I never technically abandoned books I received review copies for.

The world building is interesting as we are in a new location and learn more about the fae. Get new characters.

We are introduced to a character that's destined to die. They were apparently introduced in the last book, but not noticeable. They reek of death the moment they introduced and making their interaction meaningless and obvious plot fodder. I stand by that Chaol and Dorian make a more interesting ship than any of the other things they have going on. I just dislike Chaol,, but can't remember why? (re-read the first two books? no). I mean he doesn't do a thing to change my mind so I'm just going to stick with the dislike.

The book changes POV and they were some I just didn't care about (Chaol's,) but had to read for plot reasons. The plot was okay, I really didn't care for the Adarlan side of the story. The climax on the side was somewhat obvious, but does feel like interesting set up for the next books. The rest of the plot was good and still like Celaena for the most part.

Overall, I give this book 4/5. I enjoyed this book better than the last one and probably pick up the next book soon (at least sooner than I did this one).

I got this book for Review off NetGalley and it was published by Bloomsbury on 11 September 2014. They probably rather I mention that the 6th novel is out next month. Also I did end up purchasing a non-signed edition of this book.

Book Review: Countless by Karen Gregory

Love is random fling on street corners.

'Is there anything that's concerning you?’ Felicity says. ‘College, home, boyfriends?' Though she's more or less smiling at this last one.

I don't smile. Instead, I feel my face go hot. Silence stretches as wide as an ocean.
When I look up, Felicity has this expression on her face like she's just seen Elvis. Slowly, she leans forward and in a gentle voice I've never heard her use before she says, 'Have you done a pregnancy test?'

When Hedda discovers she is pregnant, she doesn’t believe she could ever look after a baby. The numbers just don’t add up. She is young, and still in the grip of an eating disorder that controls every aspect of how she goes about her daily life. She’s even given her eating disorder a name – Nia. But as the days tick by, Hedda comes to a decision: she and Nia will call a truce, just until the baby is born. 17 weeks, 119 days, 357 meals. She can do it, if she takes it one day at a time …[Check if same]

I found this book randomly on the buy one get one free at Waterstones and picked up serveral times before buying. I'm really glad I did. This is honest heart breaking novel and does so many things well.

Relationship play such a big part of this novel and they are done brilliantly. 
The romance in this book is done very realistic. Its more about their friendship and isolation they both have from their different situations. I loved both Robin and Hedda as individuals and just wanted them both to be happy. Family plays a big part in the story as Hedda has complex relationships with her parents and sister, having practically been kicked out the family home, then realising she pregnant, the responsibility of motherhood comes on her shoulders. We also have Hedda's unit friends that she sees herself reflected and having strong friendships with makes the situation complicated. 

This is an own voices book and I think you can tell when someone has given a character their own battles. I have never suffered from an eating disorder, but I can tell what an honest portrayal of mental illness and how hopeless your inner struggles can be, so there were parts I related. Did I bawl my eyes out? Yes, several times. Near the end I couldn't stop. Crying is good for your mental health, you should read this book and try it out (though, if you triggers you, pick someone else tragicity to do it with). There are no quick fixes with mental health and it nice seeing that protrayal as so many YA books go for the quick magical fix of Romance or miracle clue. I know that's a slight spoiler, but it such a big selling point to this book for me.

This book is written so well. Its from Hedda point of view, upon the day of realisation of new situation. Hedda feels like such a real person, in her bad and good moments.

Overall, I give this book 5/5 stars for mound filled corners. This is one of the few times where reviewing a book made me it rate it higher. This is definitely one of the best books I've read this year.

Saturday, 19 August 2017

Bout of Books 20

Time for one of my favourite readathons (and my third this month). Though, I miss session more than a participate. Busy life.

 The Bout of Books read-a-thon is organized by Amanda Shofner and Kelly @ Reading the Paranormal. It is a week long read-a-thon that begins 12:01am Monday, August 21st and runs through Sunday, August 27th in whatever time zone you are in. Bout of Books is low-pressure. There are challenges, giveaways, and a grand prize, but all of these are completely optional. For all Bout of Books 20 information and updates, be sure to visit the Bout of Books blog. - From the Bout of Books team

My Goals

  • Catch up on reading challenges.

Books to Read

  • See the Reading Quest post I'm probably stick to this challenges, but Bout of Books will probably motive me to do these tasks.
  • Library books.


Monday 21.8.2017 (wrote 1.59pm, 22.8.17)
Challenge-Introduce yourself #insixwords: The odd will never balance out. 
What I read today: Monsters by Emerald Fennell (40pgs), It by Stephen King (30mins), The Diabolic by S.J. Kincaid (30),
Total of books read today: 3
No. of books started today: 2
No. of pages read today: 70 pages + 30 minute car ride of Audiobook.
Books Finished: 0
Thoughts: I went to the pictures, and read at T.G.I.F while I ate alone. I saw Atomic Blond (which I did not know was based on a grafic novel) and the Hitman's Bodygaurd (which was just glorious excuses for Ryan Reynolds and Samuel L. Jackson (he's called Kincaid) to swear at each other. Recommend). I liked both these films and made me pumped so I only listen to music the 2 hour ride home. The IT 2017 looks terrible and seems to miss the point. Scary Clown is not why It is scary.

Tuesday 22.8.2017 (wrote 12.22am, 23.8.2017)
Challenge-Synopsis rewrite: Never thought for a book for this.  
What I read today: Monsters by Emerald Fennell, It by Stephen King
Total of books read today:
No. of books started today:
No. of pages read today:
148 pages and a few minute of Audio
Pages read total
218 pages + 31 minutes of audio. 
Books Finished Today:
Total Books Finished:
I'm editing twos hours of Footage and I'm not finished the video yet. Editing.

Wednesday 23.8.2017 (wrote am)
Challenge: Book spine rainbow
What I read today:
Monsters by Emerald Fennell, Wonderful Wizard of OZ,
Total of books read today:
No. of books started today:
No. of pages read today:  pages
Pages read total:  pages
Books Finished Today: 1
Total Books Finished: 1

Thursday 24.8.2017 (wrote pm)
Challenge-If you like this, try that . . .
What I read today:
Wonderful Wizard of OZ, The Diabolic by S.J. Kincaid,
Total of books read today: 2
No. of books started today: 1
No. of pages read today: 447 pages
Pages read total: 1108 pages
Books Finished Today: 2

Total Books Finished: 4

Friday 25.8.2017 (wrote am)
Challenge-Leave a book review:
What I read today:
The Diabolic by S.J. Kincaid (to page 366),
Total of books read today:
No. of books started today:
No. of pages read today: 
Pages read total:
? pages
Books Finished Today:
Total Books Finished:
I have no idea about how much I've read for specific days I keep falling asleep and forgeting to note it down.

Saturday 26.8.2017
(wrote 4.11pm, 28.8.2017)
Challenge-Love to hate
What I read today:
The Diabolic by S.J. Kincaid, The Chaos of Stars by Kiersten White, It by Stephen King
Total of books read today:
No. of books started today:
No. of pages read today:
341 pages
Pages read total:
1047 pages
Books Finished Today:
Total Books Finished:

Sunday 27.8.2017
(wrote 4.11pm, 28.8.2017)
Challenge-FREE DAY!
What I read today:
I Have No Secrets by Penny Joelson, It by Stephen King, Thirteen Chairs by Dave Shelton,
Total of books read today:
No. of books started today:
No. of pages read today:
390 pages
Pages read total:
1437 pages
Books Finished Today:
Total Books Finished:
I listened to It in the bath. Good books today.

Overall Thoughts:
Had a slow start but improved towards the end so fun. Kinda lost the challenges along the way. 

Wednesday, 16 August 2017

Book Review: The Seven Imperfect Rules of Elvira Carr by Frances Maynard

I swear I'm not reading another book by someone who taught autistic people.

Good covers don't mean good books
Funny, heart-warming and ultimately triumphant, The Seven Imperfect Rules of Elvira Carr is the perfect story for anyone who doesn’t quite fit in – and for everyone who chooses not to.
LOL, No. F off.

Elvira Carr is twenty-seven and neuro-atypical. Her father – who she suspects was in the secret service – has passed away and, after several Unfortunate Incidents growing up, she now spends most of her time at home with her overbearing mother. But when her mother has a stroke and is taken into care, Elvira is suddenly forced to look after herself or risk ending up in Sheltered Accommodation. Armed with her Seven Rules, which she puts together after online research, Elvira hopes to learn how to navigate a world that’s full of people she doesn’t understand. Not even the Seven Rules can help her, however, when she discovers that everything she thought she knew about her father was a lie, and is faced with solving a mystery she didn’t even know existed . . 

All the other reviewers on Goodreads are glowing about this book, being feel good and inspiration bullshit. I have yet to come across another own voices review, so here's mine: I'm autistic (Aspergers side) and therefore this book is not meant for me. It very reminiscent of the "The curious incident in the Nightmare" (I mean to write night-time, I'm keeping that in), a book I despised for its ablelist bullshit. Even if he not autistic, its still horrible book of presenting my disabled peers.  I've rated this book super low for two specific things.

Ellie never disclosed to the reader what her diagnosis is. It's refer to only as 'her condition' and that is gutless. If you're going to write a book about Autism, do it. Don't be spineless about it. I am sick of coded Autistic characters without the label. There is not enough representation of Autistic Adults to go without it. The term neurodivergent or neurotypical is hinted with the wrong term of "NeuroNormal". This is the wrong term. Normal is subjective and is not found in science. The correct term is Neurotypical. People on the Autism spectrum disorder (ASD) like correct terms when comes to sciencey things like the brain typically, and the way Ellie is presented I don't buy use the term "NeuroNormal". Normal is a dirty word when it comes to talking about neurodivergent people. Maybe once upon of time, but as of 2016 when this book is based, No one uses this term. Also another thing to know that neurodivergent/neuroatypical is also used to describes people with mental health disorders and other learning disabilities. For example, someone with mild dyslexic would be consider neuroatypical technically. Therefore, not neurotypical.  Another random point, my autism makings me disabled, that is not a bad thing, it's just a thing about me.

Another big factor is there is random (trigger WARNING) sexual assault in this book. It happens twice, getting worst. Most women will experience sexual assault in some form in their life, from being slapped on the butt to worst thing possible, so realistic. But you can't bush past sexual assault of women considered mentally disabled. Sexual Assault and manipulation is a bigger problem for people considered disabled because they are vulnerable or seen to be. She doesn't tell anyone. The most that happens is someone guesses.This book is about learning life lessons, but she doesn't learn one from this. One of the next things that happens is she tells a strange man where her house is over the internet. Sorry, spoilers which I don't do in reviews, but I have to address this. I am going to do a video about this is Spoiler discussion about why in extreme detail about how this is done wrong because I can't without spoiling a big chunk of the book. I hate sexual assault being used as life lesson tool. It can be augured that there is victim blaming in this book also. She could have had that lesson another way, it could have stopped at one. She could have told someone. Sometimes books shouldn't be realistic, but the ideal and with the stigma about sexual assault, the representation is extremely important. How it's handled. Silence is might be realistic, but it shouldn't be.

Without the above, this book probably a three star book. But I rated it one stars after the first assault and so far I don't feel like changing that.

Now for my fun, less problematic and more just issues. Ellie reads Mills & Boon as 27 year in 2016, whose mother hates that sort of thing. Mills & Boons are an old lady thing and it is never explained why she would read them as 20 something. Romance books sure, I'm borderline Asexual and read romances. Lots of Aces do. (she repeatedly says she doesn't want a boyfriend). Yeah, ASDA still sell them, but why would she ever pick them up? Like I don't know anyone that reads Mills & Boons religiously in the that age group or even a few above it. I've read them but only cause an elderly neighbour gave me them. 'Chick-Fiction' seems more realistic, they are always on deal.

We going to just pretend that the term Autism is used in this book and talk about that. Ellie comes across as actually being high-functioning (I hate that term too, but there's not a better one to my knowledge) but she has been gaslit her whole life by her mother, whose an old lady at the age of 72 (I did the maths). I don't know how old Frances Maynard is but she comes as across as someone much older than someone in their late 20s, like at least a few decades. The relationship with her parents is interesting and probably best part of this novel.

So Autism, there are two autistic coded characters, our protagonist and someone she meets. There are the same, which equals bad representation. I really can't separate their traits to argue they're not. Maybe this book is a little too much about her 'Condition'.

The writing is well done for a Début. I mean, if I hadn't blacklisted her in my mind, I would probably pick Maynard up again.

Overall, I give this book 1/5 stars for handsy "NeuroNormals". This may be a book about the Neuroatypical, but its not one for them. Therefore, I could never recommend it, but I'm don't absolutely hate it. This book will be compared to the "Curious Incident" and for me that's a real bad thing. That is not the book to based on what a book about Autistic person should be like. This probably does a better job of personifying them than that horrid book. My big tip is if you want to write about Autism, write about Autism, don't just thank the National Autistic Society in your Acknowledgements. Remember Autistic people will be reading and we will be taking notes.

My last few books I've reviewed, I have been tearing them apart for seemly small things, but small things can be important. Maynard also credits a few books by Autistic people, which is weird that she missed a few things normal to Autistic/Aspergers life. Like neither coded characters have sensory issues. I have mild issues compared to others, but there still comes up in my life. It also like she never came across why Autistic people don't like to be touch or that it effects all senses: e.g. sound, light, and I've heard of people having taste issues. I'm going to go over this stuff in the video discussion.

I got this book for review (let no one say I'm biased in my reviews of free books) from Netgalley and it being Published by Mantle on

P.S. Can you tell I've censored the swearing? 

Wednesday, 9 August 2017

Book Review: S.T.A.G.S by M.A. Bennett

Geer's attitude to fish is why we have an overfishing problem.

This idea was cool, but...disappointing? I was expecting more full-blown horror over having nightly dinners with drunk antagonists. Apparently, this was a thriller, a thriller that everyone liked. It literally didn't occur to me to ever label this book as such. I guess it is technically, there's a mystery in deadly situation. pretty obvious from the start.

This book is told from a reflective Geer in first person, this mean once in a while we get a reminder than bad stuff is gonna go down. It hypes up to nothing in my opinion. Yeah, something happens, but its kinda small (in terms of books). 

The bad guys are bad, the main characters do stupid stuff for no reason. The ending doesn't work well for me. I have specific reasons, but we don't do spoilers here. They feels like this book had another ending at one point, because something that happens would have made more sense if the characters had done the more obvious thing. I really hope that things weren't changed to force a sequel because this book doesn't need one and the ending would have been stronger. Like I feel like its been set up for one, but I don't think there's enough interesting stuff going on for another book. There's nothing wrong with being self-contained.

We have another pointless romance. Why ROMANCE? This is weakly use to give character motivation, that's not needed, nor is it done well. It's stated. The motivation could have been about finding courage instead pairing up characters for no function.This is more a general YA complaint, I'm just going to complain until someone gives me friendship and and developed characters. I actually would have liked the relationships, the thing is this book just has a lot small scenes that overbalance it into the negative for me and with only 300 pages they have a big impact in my memory when trying to review this book.

Geer is all about the film references, since she named after film star. I usually enjoy this sort of thing; but it soon becomes apparent that this a crutch to cling to, using other people's imagery and emotions than your own ability. Also the youngest film she references is Twilight. 

I live in the country, I basically always have. Deer and pheasant are roadkill. If you're city folk, you might be horrified by shooting a deer, but pheasant are pigeons of the country in the same seagulls are the pigeons of the coast. Deer are counted as vermin due to how many they are. They like to jump in front of cars in pairs, like sheep. Pheasants choose to wander roads to be ran down and cause damage to cars. There a point where Geer (a name that never flows) picks up a dead pheasant, I thought it was alive, never questioned it until she started crying in her head. Pheasants are stupid, a pheasant would let you pick it up as it stares at its dead comrades. If I wanted I could catch a pheasant, I could with my bare hands. Literally, no reason to do so. Hunting Pheasants is the same as fishing in fish farm. I don't approve hunting without reason, eat what you catch and don't agree with some of the practices in this book but as a country girl I have kill pheasants and I will probably kill again (Stop jumping in front of my car).

Geer becomes dislikable when she doesn't care about fish...The one thing that there is not an over-abundance of (though, they probably farmed anyway).  Though, if your a city girl like Geer, you won't know this stuff so really this is just my pet problem. I often have those.

 The plot while interesting, makes very little sense. Modern society is bad, there clearly think its bad in several ways, but ends up being all about the internet. The arguments for and against the internet are hella weak. It involves the media's wrong definition of what an online troll is. Trolls don't specifically harass someone and bully. Troll is someone who intentionally annoying and idiotic, yes often offensive, but not towards individual people. The art of the troll is annoy large groups of people. If someone sends you a death threat or personalised insult they are not a troll. Sadly some people are just as dumb as trolls pretend to be. Though, it probably getting to the point that media is dumb enough that kept repeating that, the definition might have changed for younger people, but living with a 13 year old, I can tell you they don't call their antagonists trolls. It kinda felt like it was written by someone who doesn't use the internet (with research I can tell that this non-debut novelist has to be at least ten years older than me and therefore did not grow up with the sites that can be argued to have shaped the modern internet and might be like my sister who knows nothing about internet despite using it daily). The arguments are dumb because hate mail has existent since the start of anonymous mailing systems have and bullying has been a problem for like always. Geer nor any of the characters challenges this argument meaning it doesn't do much. Argument have to be challenged to stand at all. By the way, I would have took Vine out of this book, as vine has been dead for a year, there is no way it couldn't be took out. It just quickly dates this book. I wonder if Vine had a bigger part until it died or no one noticed it died (I got an arc but it doesn't have the Proof disclaimer at the front so...I'm going with its the finished novel).

There's an obsession with rich YouTubers...yeah some of them are trash, but YouTube is never defended as being more than a place for rich boys doing nothing and hosting viral cat videos. Its hosts several community involving intelligent discussion and artists as well. Also there are tons of daily vloggers that puts tons of work into their videos. I've been on YouTube for ten years and the target market will include people who remember YouTube always having been a thing for them. If this is gonna be such a thing in the novel, then at least give me a character that watches YouTube. Geer loves films, there are tons of films on YouTube and there is the more legal practice of reviewing and discussing films. There are groups of young filmmakers that make short films on YouTube. There are production value on YouTube. It would have better if anyone had challenge them.

Overall, I give this 3/5 stars for This is M.A. Bennett's first YA novel. This an okay, quick read that tries to place class snobby within the internet age. Secret murder societies in bordering schools are over done and the internet aspect just wasn't done well enough to be interesting. I think a big problem is this book is that it wasn't as cool as the summary made it sound and therefore I am disappointed. There were things I should have liked and enjoyed about this book, but sadly it was very whatever. It's an okay read, if certain things had been different it could have been brilliant.

BTW, I read this on my phone. I read books on my phone the majority of the time, phones are carry of media. Another argument that could have been used in their favour.

Update: I have access to the acknowledgements and pretty much confirms my suspicions.

I got this book off Netgalley for Review and it being

Thursday, 3 August 2017

The Reading Quest

Since I've decided to be in a constant readathon mode, I'm singing up for another one. Though this one is pretty cool. It based on video games and role playing.

#TheReadingQuest is a four week long challenge going from Sunday 13th August to Sunday 10th September, 2017 and its being ran by . There will eventually be a champion who will win a book and there also a specific Australian prize if you're located there. I'm not really in for wining (but I also love a free book). I just think this a fun idea. Here's the sign up page if you're interested.

EXP: 20
HP: 114
Level: 1

You pick a character and follow their Quest path. I have choose the Mage path, I'll probably do the Barb path if I complete the Mage despite them not touching. (This adorable art work was done by CW of Read, Think, Ponder).

Main Quests
~A Book with a One Word Title: Girlhood by Cat Clarke, not sure if this a cheat or not but is girlhood is spelt with one word.
~A Book that Contains Magic: Heir of Fire by Sarah J. Mass. This Quest is at the same time Toppe Tomes and I was planning to read this book for that.
~A Book Based on Mythology: Antigoddess by
~A Book Set in a Different World: The Diabolic by S.J. Kincaid
~The First Book of a Series: Geek Girl by Holly Smale

Knight (I change my mind about going to Bard after Mage)
~First Book in a Series:
- A Book with a Verb in the Title
- Book with a Red Cover (or red as the focal colour)
- Book with a Weapon on the Cover
- Book with a TV/Movie adaptation

Bard (in case I do get here & also likely to change).
~A Book that has a TV/film adaptation: Me and Earl and the Dying Girl by Jesse Andrews
~A Fairytale Retelling: Sisters Red by Jackson Pearce
~A book cover with striking typography: Who Runs the World? by
~A book translated from another language: I'm Traveling Alone by Samuel Bjork
~A banned book: There's a few I own, but one doesn't call out to me yet.

~Animal Companion: Zombie Vs Unicorns by Various. How could I not choose the National Animal of my homeland. It's also on the board
I'm going leave the other sides quests to chance for now.
~Potions, book by 2+ authors: 
~Time Warp:
~Multiplayer: Probably a problem here. Does a toddler count?
~Mini game:
~Open world:
Might do videos about this as well. 

Wednesday, 2 August 2017

Book Review: Spot the Difference by Juno Dawson

My own acne has got worst since I started reading this book. Am I cursed now?

Sometimes beauty is only skin-deep...

Avery has always suffered at the hands of bullies, so when she's given a seemingly-miraculous opportunity to join her school's 'A-list', she grabs at it with both hands. 

But appearances can be deceiving, and soon Avery's not so sure she likes this new verison of herself.

And it's only by overcoming her fears that she can learn the true meaning of being comfortable in your own skin.  

I hate Avery. She is literally the worst and I don't think she learns a damn thing. The thing she probably meant to learn is self-awareness. Avery has a major acne problem, the painfully kind that you should seek professional medical help about (she has), she thinks this means she would be in a "freakshow", while standing next to her best friend who has what would be classified as deformity "a funny little arm". Its ablelism like this that makes me think Avery is just jerk, from the very start.

The big problem is that I think Avery is a terrible person, she might be realistic, but even when I was her age (Also she seems more 15, than 17 years old) she would never I have been someone I was friends with or want anything to do with her. She obsessed with people she doesn't like. I will admit this is something I have related to and just find utterly baffling. Wanting to be popular and have friends I get, but why with the people who were horrible to you. Also Pizzaface is such a lame insult. She and the antagonist of Scarlett never seem that much better than the other. Even with the pain and annoyance acne can cause, I end up having no sympathy for her due her whole attitude and personality.

Miracle cure and she popular suddenly and still terrible person. Does the usual tropes, abandons friends, hook up with a hot boy, goes up against the evil popular girl for prom queen...I mean Head Girl. Avery abandons friends in favour of the people who bullied her, until its convenient to go back to the old ones.

This book also has some real dumb lines. During the discussion about whether Avery should take the new, experimental drug, this little exchange "No side effects; what have we got to lose?' She squeezes my hand tight. 'You, Avery! I have you to lose.' LOL. This is probably not funny to most people but I live in a house full of prescribed medication and with chronic ill people. There's like a billion steps before a drug goes to the public and no drug has no side effects.

I think the big problem is there is that the 85 pages doesn't give much room for a arch or character development.The ends comes off as having ran out of room, then wrap up for a happy ending with half arse lesson learned.

Overall, I give this 2/5 stars for jerkarses. I know Juno Dawson is capable writer and has wrote things with real depth. But I don't know what with this or the ablelist mess of "All of the Above".  Though, this is too an ableist mess. But hey at least I wasn't personally attacked for no reason. If I hadn't came across Dawson's short stories, I might be calling it quits on her. That being said, neither of the solo works that I have read by her are what she praised for. I will read another work by her. I probably won't buy any more of her books till then (which would be the responsible thing for the majority of authors on my shelves). Probably one of her horror effects.

On a random note, I saw the film 'Wish Upon' (2017) on Monday, and it reminds me a lot of this book. The way some characters are written and weird wants they have. 

Wednesday, 26 July 2017

Book Review: The Upstairs Room by Kate Murray-Browne

Ignoring clear signs of a haunting is bound to get you into trouble.

Eleanor, Richard and their two young daughters recently stretched themselves to the limit to buy their dream home, a four-bedroom Victorian townhouse in East London. But the cracks are already starting to show. Eleanor is unnerved by the eerie atmosphere in the house and becomes convinced it is making her ill. Whilst Richard remains preoccupied with Zoe, their mercurial twenty-seven-year-old lodger, Eleanor becomes determined to unravel the mystery of the house’s previous owners – including Emily, whose name is written hundreds of times on the walls of the upstairs room.

This book is about a haunted house, but its not a horror book. It more about the characters and the effect that the house has on people.

The point of view changes amount the adults of the house. Its feel more like the women's story though.We have characters lives mirror each other, but made different choice. It was an interesting exploration.

The writing is third person, with focus point of view changing every chapter (I think). I enjoyed the writing style.

The ending is very anti-climatic. It was the natural conclusion of the book, but if you're ghost fan you might be a tad disappointed. This a character driven so the plot isn't really focus,

Overall, I give 4/5 stars for annoying neighbours. This is a odd match of a haunted house story with character study where choices lead you. I enjoyed it, if you into character stuff and more about the stain a haunting would have on the inhabits, this is the novel for you.

I got this book for Review from Netgalley and its being Picador

Thursday, 6 July 2017


My mysterious illness has been replaced by joint pain. I got prescribled Paracepmal so that what I be taking for it.

Wednesday, 7 June 2017

Book Review: Into the Water by Paula Hawkins

Why talk to your family about any of your personal issues?

In the last days before her death, Nel called her sister. Jules didn’t pick up the phone, ignoring her plea for help.

Now Nel is dead. They say she jumped. And Jules has been dragged back to the one place she hoped she had escaped for good, to care for the teenage girl her sister left behind.

But Jules is afraid. So afraid. Of her long-buried memories, of the old Mill House, of knowing that Nel would never have jumped.

And most of all she’s afraid of the water, and the place they call the Drowning Pool . . .

Paula Hawks has returned with about a pool, a drowning pool and the river that leads to the pool, the town next to the river, and I guess the people in the town. The follow-up to her popular debut, The Girl on the Train (reviewed). I am glad that this book wasn't titled The Girl in the Pool or do I immensely regret that it wasn't. It would probably be called The Girls of the Waters. Pool just sounds like holiday fun, rather than murder and death.

This novel is told in the point of view of a cast of  (over ten) characters. Jules, sister of dead Nel is probably the focus, but there is no clear protagonist. Most these characters are unlikable. All of them are, some of them are despicable. It was fine, but it was quite a detached affair. The pool was the focus, but also didn't feel like personification location. It was more just a lot of shit has gone down at this part of the river. It's conspiracy of a town, who cares about people's sad little lives and horrible personalities. There were attempts at redeeming, but I didn't care enough about these characters to care. Except for the few I wanted to die. This was more about the plots, which fine in a thriller especially when you are juggling so many characters to tell a story.

There are some similar plot motifs from Hawkins début, you argue repeating themes if you felt like it. There is several mysteries going on. The discovery of Nel's body in the river is the starting point, but its a track so we loop around a lot. Nel herself was interested in the drowning pool's history and mysteries, writing a book about them (which we do get excepts from), therefore pissing off the locals because everyone needs a motive. There is obvious red herring. There is some stuff in the plot that makes no sense, I mean people make no sense.

I now would like to randomly point out that a teacher having a relationship with a student is criminal offense under the The Sexual Offenses Act 2003 unless that student is 18 then it's a grey zone of probable firing (though can still be charged for). The teacher if caught would be put on the sex offender register. I can't imagine a way a teacher would not know that. (Once again if you're under 18 years old, don't trust people who are immediately interested in you sexually who are two years older than you. There is something wrong with them and I have not been proved wrong in this. Girls are not that maturer than boys, this is a myth that I won't get into a rant at the moment).

I listen to this on Audio book, with David Weyman, Imogen Church, Rachel Bavidge and Sophie Aldred. Like I said there is tons of character, so these actors just jump around a lot and characters have more than one voice actor, I guess the choice of having more than one came from them knowing it would make money and The Girl on the Train leading its self so well to having more than one voice actor and does gave the best distinction by actually having different voices to change to, especially as some characters are real minor and forgettable. They were all fine, we got a vast range of British Accents, though I did think Welsh which this book is definitely not set in Wales. It set in middle England or upper England. I don't know enough about English motorways or remembered the town's name to see if its a real place. Hours from New Castle or something. 

Overall, I give this book 4/5 stars for missing jewellery. This novel kept me interested is what I want from Mystery Thrillers. While different from her debut (which is should be), it is of the same level as her last novel. Once again if you like thrillers and the idea of this plot, gave it a go.

Wednesday, 31 May 2017

Book Review: A Girl Called Owl by A.J. Wilson

When Monster High runs out of Monsters...

It's bad enough having a mum dippy enough to name you Owl, but when you've got a dad you've never met, a best friend who needs you more than ever, and a new boy at school giving you weird looks, there's not a lot of room for much else. 

 So when Owl starts seeing strange frost patterns on her skin, she's tempted to just burrow down under the duvet and forget all about it. Could her strange new powers be linked to her mysterious father?And what will happen when she enters the magical world of winter for the first time?

A glittering story of frost and friendship, with writing full of magic and heart, A Girl Called Owl is a stunning debut about family, responsibility and the beauty of the natural world.

This novel sounds like a cool concept and then you realise it about 13 years old. To be honest, I think making the protagonist thirteen years old was a mistake, it feels like she should be fifteen for some of the storyline. Her maturity is not of a fifteen year old (though she probably maturer side of some of the 15 yrs old found in YA) but is of a 13 yr old so she is written well in that sense. Parts of the storyline do match, but there was just a lot dancing around the birds and the bees.

The story seems to get lost a bit, then I started analysing the chosen villain and how the conflict makes little sense. I feel like it was added as a second layer because there wasn't a natural villain to push the plot and character development along. Might have worked better without the forced conflict. Some of the chosen mythology was just kinda odd to throw in without explanation. Like it took from Arthurian Mythology for some reason, whilst being based in fay with some own invention I believe (google shows nothing).  I now would randomly like to point out that May used to be the first month of summer, and any Queen associated with that month that is an old myth would be a Summer Queen, and therefore next to Autumn already. Basically, I would have liked more thought, or explanation of thought behind the mythology. There was suggestions to things that would have been interesting, but were just intriguing mentions.

There were important female characters in this book, but they're literally sat back and let the male ones rule the roost (for majority). Owl does have a girl best friend, but she was not there to add to plot/action as she is human.

The characterisation was consisted and decent for our main characters. But a certain important character's characterisation filp-floped so much that I for sure thought he had to be a different character. There is no explanation for this.

The romance is this book is very mild, but clearly hinted at. There's also weird vibe from it, because I have no idea how old this guy is next this thirteen year and I feel like there has to be two years at least with plot stuff, so that just humanly wrong (if you are 13 years old, please stay away from people two years or older than you. There is something wrong if they are interested in you romantically. This rings true till twenty basically) or he is immortally a thirteen year old and so is she so that might just be tragic. This could just me thinking way too much about the plot.

Overall, I give this book 3/5 stars for accidental freezes. In writing a review of this book, I have probably thought too much about this stand alone book than it was ever meant to be thought about (if there is a sequel, it will lose points, if you say the end, then its the end). Its charming, middle-grade book, that I probably wouldn't recommend past that age, but for that age sure.

I got this book for review off NetGalley and Macmillan Children's Books.

Wednesday, 19 April 2017

Book Review:The Miniaturist by Jessie Burton

If they had only kept it in their pantaloons.

There is nothing hidden that will not be revealed...

On an autumn day in 1686, eighteen-year-old Nella Oortman knocks at the door of a grand house in the wealthiest quarter of Amsterdam. She has come from the country to begin a new life as the wife of illustrious merchant trader Johannes Brandt, but instead she is met by his sharp-tongued sister, Marin. Only later does Johannes appear and present her with an extraordinary wedding gift: a cabinet-sized replica of their home. It is to be furnished by an elusive miniaturist, whose tiny creations mirror their real-life counterparts in unexpected ways ...

Nella is at first mystified by the closed world of the Brandt household, but as she uncovers its secrets she realizes the escalating dangers that await them all. Does the miniaturist hold their fate in her hands? And will she be the key to their salvation or the architect of their downfall? Beautiful, intoxicating and filled with heart-pounding suspense, The Miniaturist is a magnificent story of love and obsession, betrayal and retribution, appearance and truth. 

This book was hyped way too much for what it is. A bad historical fiction, I listen to the audio book version of this from the library. I wish that meant I hadn't spent money on it and I haven't but I'm pretty sure I brought the ebook version at one point because voucher.

I'm not a big fan of historical fiction, except for Victorian Britain (that more to do with the insanity of the Victorians and the secret, weird stuff they got up to). I probably made a mistake in looking up the person this book is sort of based on. Sort of, in not all attempt to tell a possible story about the person with that name in history; the Petronella Oortman that did own a cabinet doll house and married Johannes Brandt. She was a rich widow, not impoverished upper-class teenager. The real Petronella sounds interesting. 

Not sure where the hype came from, because it originated from the Publishing world before the novel got this cool cover. The cover is fabulous and does deserve the hype. The novel in no way does. I think the setting of Amsterdam and some of the subject matter is what could sparked people's interest, but I had real hard time getting to the core of those subjects. The plot is actually dumb and depressing at the same time. This book needed plot re-haul. There something of an interesting story there, but things were set up and abandoned. If only one of the social justice plots had been taken, then maybe they would have been time to the explore the Miniaturist and not this thing where even the main character doesn't time to think about it. The Miniaturist character was interesting but very little was done with it. I ran out of things to say that ain't big plot spoilers and there are sites that did recaps.

I went on these recaps sites because I was super bored, but also intrigued. If this wasn't an audio book or if I had found something more interesting to listen to, I would not have finished this book and I would have not lost nothing or anything from doing that.

The character of Nella is boring. There is very little personality, she is a very Mary Sue with her 17-year-old peers. The reason this is not a YA book because it’s too boring to have any chance of keeping a teenager interested, also there is semi-graphic sex. There was attempt of character development, I could tell this was meant to be a coming age story for Nella. However, Nella was just unpleasant when she did show personality and dumb. I didn't like or enjoy any of the characters.

In terms of historical fact, it's as depressing as it should be. Women having no real option but to marry, and people are prejudice against the different. The fact that this book is so depressing is another reason I don't get the hype. There is also no real romance. Maybe because it is so different from most narratives about the past is why so people got behind it, but looking at reviews I don't see anyone truly love this book. The characters a very modern in the way they behaviour as well, but I don't know much much about Amsterdam past society structures.

The writing style was borderline modern poetic with random Dutch words in. I pick up no decent style from it, nor enjoy what we given. Burton might just need time and practice to developed her voice but right now there's nothing unique. Very bland, sometimes verges on purple prose. 

The audio book narration was bad for something read by the writer. Jessie Burton reads her own words without passion. I know she an Actor, so perhaps that's the issue with her reading that she did it like someone else work or this book is too boring for even the writer to convince me.

Overall, I give this book 2/5 stars for public sexcapade. This is Jessie Burton’s Debut so I won't be closing door to her but I don't know if I would bother with any more historical fiction. I do know her next novel is set (at least partly) in the last century. In theory this is a good, interesting book, but the execution needs development. It was okay, I generally just don’t like historical fiction, nor weird fanfiction about real people.

Saturday, 4 March 2017

A Gay Villian in a Disney Film. How bold of you?

The Beauty and the Beast remake is officially bullshit. The set design and costumes look questionable in the trailer. The CGI looks better in the 25 year old film they remake. Also there's way too much of it, there are forest in real life, and if not why not just pirate the ones from the original. Hell, they original tigs that came out the first try might look better (some obscure B&B production reference). They is also no trace of the soundtrack in the trailer which makes me think one of the main cast can't actually sing, can they? If that thriller music bullshit in the film's actual score, then you gone fucked up. The one thing Beauty and the Beast did not needed mess with was it soundtrack.

Well, actually I think it would be nice to have the Beast's song 'If I Can't Love Her' in a film, that debuted in the musical. The Beast having his own song makes sense. The rest of the Beauty & Beast Broadway musical only songs can be left (this does not include Human Again as it can now be seen with the rest of the film. Also they will messed that up so badly). Besides that addition, the original scores and songs are masterpieces that stand legacy as the last music of the Great Howard Ashman (its his last complete work, he started work on Aladdin but sadly not much of anything made it into the final film, it just the way animated film process works at Disney).

Which is maybe why the gay thing should make you angrier than you already are. We're being promised a gay moment in the remake and its not Lumaire kissing Cogsworth's on lips instead of the checks like in the original scene after the Battle. I also love how almost everyone has been secretly shipping Lumaire and Cogsworth all this time (out of interest I tried to find Fanfiction, there's some but none of it looked good). Even if not a romantic couple, I like to imagine them still bickering past retirement by the sea.

No we getting a gay sidekick of the villain that was originally just for comic relief. Who ever came up with this idea is clearly not queer in anyway? You would think, but Bill Condon is gay man. Because even people who ship Le Fou and Gaston (these shippers exist because all ships exist on the internet because people are strange beautiful creatures) would not sing praises of someone making a villainous character. The Le Fou is sidekick but he does manage to do fuck-up shit by himself.  It's not creative. It almost every villain ever.

Disney is pack full of villain characters that read gay already, because they queer coded and Le Fou wasn't really one of them once you ignore the hero worshipping he does for Gaston (though, he is gay enough to start a musical number to cheer up Gaston, but that is stereotype). Ursula was model on a dragqueen (one of the reason she the best) and the male villains are majority queer-coded, even the ones that are sexually threatening to the main female character still sort of have this. (Jafar, why did you even care about Jasmine once you had the genie?) Disney is not the only one guilty of this, but guilty they are. There is tons of stuff about queer-coding online in general and with Disney in mind. They can probably explain it better than me.

The next thing is Le Fou is going to be in love with the straight Gaston (he could be autoromantic, but then that would leave everyone in the cold). They is no way that gonna be requited unless they have a complete overhaul of the characters and fuck that. Villains should have justifications for what they doing, but it doesn't need to be justifiable to the audience. I like having sociopathic villains who care about themselves. Maleficent was ruined by her film. She was the Mistress of Evil fighting some bad arse fairies, turned into a victim that faced up against idiots who couldn't look after a baby. Though, it would be amusing to see them fuck up Gaston by trying make him likable after having attempt to blackmail Belle into marrying him when he had no concern over where she had been the past few months. Even if you thought Belle's father was crazy, wouldn't you start to worry when no one had seen her over a month (I feel B&B has to happen over at least month, but no clear time line besides the seasons changing). She probably dead in the woods and Le Fou has died in the snow.

Le Fou blindly follows Gaston. That's just sad. Very sad. Why would anyone be happy about this? Having a gay villain in love with a straight person is not a watershed moment, it go fuck yourself  moment you queerbaiting arsehole, Bill Condon. The amount of self-gratitude in telling people about this before the movie has came out proves that it nothing but a marketing tool to get people who ain't going to see another CGI monster that Disney has thrown out. Even if actually Le Fou kisses another man, it means nothing because he a villain sidekick in a live-action remake. It's not a Disney animated film that I'm going to show my kids. It's not a main character. Its not a character we're meant to root for. It's the same bullshit that the queer community has been putting up for years. You don't get congratulate yourself till I see a Princess kiss another Princess. Not till the hero of the story is the one that out and proud. Disney specially is making coming of age stories, the stories of LGBTQA+ have these quality. You have to brave to be yourself, because even now people will torlant you, the way you were born, but they will still chip away at you with 'harmless' comments or do shit like this. This doesn't make me happy, it upsets me that you would do this and bring Howard Ashmen into this. A gay man who died of disease that was ignore until it was pandemic, until it start to effect straight people.

Director Bill Condon on Howard Ashman: 'Specifically for him it was a metaphor for AIDS. He was cursed and this curse had brought sorrow on all those people who loved him and maybe there was a chance for a miracle and a way for the curse to be lifted. It was a very very concrete thing that he was doing.’ Where did you get this info from? Even if you read this in the film, why would you make the character called the Fool, gay as means of honouring him? Why would you do that to him? He wrote lyrics (apparently, dad was an inventor because he wanted to write an inventing song for him and that does sound cool), he did have massive effect on how the film turn out, he's key figure in the Disney Renaissance but that story was there. Several people mounded it. He was actually honoured in the 10th Adversary by the inclusion of Human Again, a song cut for the pacing of the song. His actual passion project was Aladdin which he never got to finish.

Also if the Beast is called Adam in the film then I going to find you and hit you over the head with creepy Mrs Potts and her monstrous offspring. Serious, what the fuck is up with the art direction in this film? Don't worry, Stephen Chbosky, I'm just going to make you eat copies of your slightly ablelist book instead. I know in studio films no one person is responsible, but I'm blaming you two for now because even if wasn't your idea, I have enough issue with yous not to feel guilty about it. Serious, director Bill Condon you should have stayed quiet till the film was out, then responded to people's criticism. Frankly, I think the only reason you brought Ashman into this is so people can't critize you for this. But your wrong but because I will criticize more now.

"And that’s what has its pay-off at the end, which I don’t want to give away. But it is a nice, exclusively gay moment in a Disney movie."
Gay for Disney or actually gay. Because here's the thing no gives a fuck about Le Fou at the end of Beauty and the Beast. What happened to him? Who cases after he had a pair of scissors in his arse...for FUCK SAKE, Condon you're gay how do you think this a good idea? I don't know what I expected of someone who directed two Twilight Films. Is it drugs? Is it mental health? Do gays past a certain time in media, forget what actual representation looks like? Do you know what Queerbaiting even is? Is still Queerbaiting when there's actual Gay on screen (apparently)? Why do middle-aged gay men kept doing stupid shit like this to us? Would Disney only agree if was Le Fou in a scene that could be easily cut for homophobic countries without issue? Is it between him and the guy who got arse lit on fire? Why makes this film even more unwatchable?
In summary, I don't think the film looks good and I have a long arse list as to why. The casting: Emma Watson is typecasting herself; the beast is 21 years old, not forty old looking 34 yr old; Josh Glad is not likable; Gaston has not been eating a dozen eggs since he was a lad and Mrs Potts face is at the side of teapot. One of those is a joke, guess which one. Maybe this Lumaire and Cogsworth will be good if I shut my eyes.

I will be probably dragged to this film, and I will hate watch it so I can I send a list of improvement Disney has to make for it to be a 'watershed moment'. (Condon, are aware of the phrase "past  the Watershed" as in the time children are expected not be watching tv so lets show the adult stuff now as in not appropriate for kids. If either way, bad use of words). Though, literally just give us a kiss between two good characters to start with. Doesn't have to be the protagonist. Like if you had Lumaire and Cogworths be a romantic couple, we would have been cool. Not the person whose name translated to the fool.

To be honest, I use to have fantasy about how I would do live-action version of B&B, but mostly mine would have been live action, not CGI to death. There are forests Disney. I know what European Forests look like. Built sets look cooler than computer ones. I can tell the difference and you have the money for both the cost of renting the space and the building of the an actual set. I know cause I've seen Pirates of the Caribbean. You built a dock twice. The cave with the treasure was a massive set. They could be hiding the cool sets, but those woods definitely are fake and terrible looking.

Okay, I need to stop before I point out that making main characters look horrifying is not a good way to make them likable. Throw Chip out the window, Emma Watson, before he steals your soul. Oh, wait I just did. Oops.

Farewell, I will write again next week where I discuss the Scottish notion to threaten violence with no real plan to do it even if given the opportunity. If think I swear a lot this post, remember that Howard Ashman wrote a song with lyric: "I'm a green mean mother from outer-space". Maybe that metaphour for AIDs too Condon and I mean just that song. The rest of the musical is clearly "Not to feed the plants". Ashman was very clear on that.  Now I'm going to Listen to a "A Friend like Me" and cry.

Saturday, 4 February 2017

Driving Puppies

I hate driving. In the latest adventures of why Rachel Verna should not be behind a wheel: my tyre ripped. Its was raining and I hit pothole. A pothole that was in the centre of the road and had not been there yesterday. It was at the bottom a hill so it was filled with water. It was pretty big at the time. I have been paranoid about my tyres before but now I definitely know what a complete flat tyre feels like.

I was listening to My Favorite Murder. The perfect thing to be listening to by yourself at the side of the road, especially when they talking about a hitchhiker who survived getting arms cuts off and was thrown off a cliff (Mary Vincent is her name if you're interested in looking up the story).  Lesson is don't get in a car with strange men, even if it looks like you could out run them. So of course, I got in a car with a strange man who gave me a lift to my door. But he worked for Scottish Power, I had a charged phone and for some reason a tiny wrench from the back of my car (I should find it and put back in my boot). They had stopped when they saw me at the side of the road trying to fix the tyre with the stupid tyre in can thing. I couldn't actually get the cap off the tyre and they had to get pilers to get it off. It was all for naught as the tyre was ripped at the side (sidewall).

I got home, locked the door and Leia was happy to see me again. This was nightmare scenario as my parents were an hour away at an important appointment so I would have to had walked at the side of super busy country road where people drive like manics despite escaping sheep and stand in the middle of the road. (I droved past one at the side of the road this week too. Surprisingly only one, there's usually escape in threes). There are constant car crashes on those roads as well.

I also witness the aftermath of a car crash at the junction of a hospital. It didn't look serious and they were in the right place as though life was an episode of Casualty.

So the next day, Wednesday, I ended waiting in the car for an hour waiting for someone to come and change my two front tyres while continuing to listen MFM (I would stop but I am currently obsessed and maybe I shouldn't have let him know where I live but Neighbours are witnesses). Then I made it to uni with half hour to spare like Tuesday should have went. This was super annoying affair as I missed my only practical sort of class where I lost out on a lot not being there

I let Leia outside today. She has felt the feel of muddy grass beneath her paws. She is still cautious of leaving the house without me lifting her over the threshold but she likes it when she out though. Running around the garden, wagging her tail. She so big now. I hate it. She not very baby like but still had to wake me at 1am to lift her on my bed so still small. Just not tiny anymore.

She is not interested in being walked. She ran straight back in the house, though maybe the other dogs outside freaked her out. She is coward, like my Shep. She also doesn't like the jacket my mother insisted on buying her. Its the sound of velcro she doesn't like.

Uni is an on going process that I should be working on so I will leave with thoughts of dogs and tyres lurking in your mind. Watch out for Sheep and holes.

Saturday, 28 January 2017

My Favourite Horror

Hello, I'm writing this while listening to 'My favourite Murder' its a comedy podcast talking about real life murders/crimes. If you've been subjected to my jokes about murder and death then you're not surprised that I like this podcast and recommend it. They are entertaining if not totally accurate in their storytelling. I don't really have a favourite murder, H. H. Holmes' murder hotel probably is it because it is insane that he almost got away with that. Its the mix creepy building and serial killing that makes it interesting. They making a film, the set design should at least be good.

I finally made it to British Cinema for Horror Week where we went over vampires. I feel like I should now not show up for any of the class. Yep, just here for horror and my own kind. I really wish I had made it last week, but oh well. Also found out my lecture knows my name and for some reason I am alarmed by this. I rather be anonymous when my crimes come to light. I know I should make joke confessions on the internet but I would lose so much of my comedy. Lets leave this thoughts here.

Glasgow is back in the house on medication. It was a worrying time, but he appears to peeing peeing on me because he dislike Leia's attempt at play. She has yet to understand that the cats are not friends, nor are they likely to be friendly towards her. He is grumpy boy hiding behind the couch.

I have decided to be a Producer for uni course due to not having a story I wanted to do (I had ideas but they not ready to be born into a pitch yet). I should have probably pitch in the pursuit of making myself do uncomfortable things, but oh well. Some of the ideas are intriguing, some were problematic. The one I'm producing could be problematic but I'm going to do my best to make sure its not.

Shockingly a secret ep of 'Sherlock' did not play last week and its existence has finally been denied, along with the Queerbaiting..right...Glasgow kissing with longing looks never happened. Apple Tree Yard was boring Heterosexuality stuff then horrible trigger warning events so I won't be watching it again. The set up doesn't make me think it will be dealt with well so I won't be watching any more of it. Doesn't make me want to read the book now either.

I really hate driving, especially in Scottish Weather. I drove through ice, fog at night where I could not see anything but the slight lines of the road, hail/snow that due to the wind looked like optical illusion. Also I probably need new tires but I would have to talk to someone other my parents to fix that. So lets just die instead.

With that note, I just shall leave you this week in favour of staring at the cellar...I mean celling. I don't have a cellar. I don't. FAREWELL.

*Flees into the night.*

Saturday, 21 January 2017

League of Sherlock (When fandom go insane)

This week has been bad as my poor cat Glasgow has been in pain since Wednesday and is the vet right down. They have to drain his blander several times Been having thoughts about whether fate can be that cruel.

So I have been sitting on my Sherlock thoughts on this blog in favour of actually posting, instead of writing six thousand words essay about on critical nature of fandom. I had thought about doing an actual video but new tinhat stuff is happening all the time and I am a slow video editor.

The Sherlock fandon have decided to prove their insanity by claiming their secret 4th episode of the 4th season. This would be awesome and could make sense, but BBC. The BBC doesn't have the money for that and there's no reason for them to have a secret ep. The thing I do feel kinda bad for Mofftiss in that they wrote an episode so terrible that people immediately thought fake when it was leaked, then after being officially broadcast, then the fandom really got behind this idea. I liked the final episode as whole but it stands up to no scrutiny at all which the fandon of a crime show is likely to do. The writing has not been great this series. All my criticism is with the writing, it major problem this series.

Skip to the last two paragraphs/non-white text if you don't want spoilers for the Series 4 of 'Sherlock':
 To start with ep 1 was utterly pointless and is full of filler. I was mostly bored throughout of it. It also felt like stuff was being backtracked in it, the the initials thing does not seem like the end game of the USB which is odd considering they knew they were getting two more series and good writers should know what's going on with their characters even if it never reveal, it keeps motivation relevant. Then Mary dies in the most boring and utterly pointless way without being interesting at at all. She should have been hit by a black cab at the start of ep 1 and then have the plot of ep.2 in one and then we could have another actual case instead of Boredom. The thing is Mary was a character destined to die. As soon as John married her, she was dead. Ep 1 is my least favourite because of this and adds nothing to the series plot other than the death of Mary and there's is no case because it only covers stuff that's actually been covered.

Ep 2 is the best of this series, but it comes no where to being my favourite ep of the series as whole. I like the cinematography, the case is a bit insane, but both John and Sherlock are insane at this point in time so it works. Mrs Hudson is also confirmed as a bad arse in this ep something we all knew. The cliffhanger ending is more like the usual finale of Series we got use to with Sherlock where at least of one of the boys is doomed to die. How will they get out of it?

By coping out of it, of course. Like I said I liked this episode but I also hate it for legit reasons. If you're a fan of League of Gentlemen (LoG) then you will get so many kicks out of this. Probably because the opening is more like like an ep of LoG than it is of Sherlock. Maybe that is kinda a bad thing. Then we get references of Mycroft having had played a woman and if you have watched LoG then you know that Gatiss makes a strangely attractive women, then we see Mycroft dressed up in a fake beard and teeth making me think a certain Butcher and his mystery meat.

This epideo (I give up on spelling the word 'episode' right) was big up as being "history making" and "ground-breaking" hence why people thought Johnlock might be a thing (maybe the Russian dub leaking was meant to be a warning that gay was not going to happen).  Of course, I never believed this because its a BBC cash cow. They also was a promotion saying Sherlock is Love which brings us to my "no. Just no." scene. I hate the scene with Molly. I generally dislike Molly as a character because of how she has not developed in 7 yrs past being love with a person who doesn't really know and he has never played attention to her except when she usefully to him. I find her to be pathetic and would have been happy to see her blow up except that she realistically the one watching the baby. Who does has baby Watson? What was the point of the scene, but to piss people off? 

I don't get people who ship Molly and Sherlock other than forcing heterosexuality on everyone. I feel uncomfortable when the show actually does this, because their early ques were always gay or asexual and the character is canonically either these things as established by his women hating (I have theories as on how I'm justified in not letting this ruin Sherlock Holmes for me. Er, Victorians). The scene adds nothing to the series and Molly is not enough of a character for me to care. If she had died, then it would have proved stakes but she doesn't so there are none for anyone and nothing matters. Characters we just met don't really count.

I had a conversation with a straight male. He said he didn't see Johnlock but he also said "John was infatuated with Sherlock". I of course pointed out that meant love (a form of one I guess, it seen as sexual thing anyway). I guess this is proof people ignore cues of gay when they're not interesting in seeing them. Did Mofftiss write them on purpose? One half of them is gay, so which is they non-queerbaiting case kinda dies as they must have know what cues they were giving to the watcher. 

I used to defend Sherlock as not being Queerbaiting as it was just addressing the "gayness" of the canon which being Victorian can be read as sexual tense between Watson and Holmes or Watson has a giant man crush on Holmes. After The Empty House story I read it as hella gay. Back to Sherlock, Friendships are more important than romantic love and it would be nice to have show just built on platonic love, except it wrote more like a romance. Maybe Mofftiss just have no idea how to write beautiful friendships, therefore fall back on the way they would write romance.

It doesn't help that as viewers we have been taught to read good chemistry as romance. Real life friendships/like of each other as people, makes for good fake romantic chemistry. Surprisingly, real life romantic couple make for horrible chemistry on screen. Martin Freeman and Benedict Cumberbatch have decent chemistry therefore we read it as romance on screen.

I think the main thing everyone one forgets in the fandon is that we are watching alternative universe fanfiction that is somehow funded by the BBC.Therefore, having a series final that backtracks the whole show and contradicts major plot points of the previous series shouldn't be shocking. We are in the crack session that many good fanfiction falls into after several sequels/series. The secret sister is such a tropes that goes back to make John look hella gay again, because John had been sexting (god, why?) his best friend's sister, in fanfiction that makes him in love with Sherlock. 

The big reveal that Redbeard was a human all along is dumb. Super dumb. Its dumb as having a secret sister locked in a prison that didn't exist last series. We will ignore what a contradiction this dog boy brings up, because that's not the main reason why its dumb. Its not an escalation. Your sister killing your dog best friend, does not read as being worse than killing your human best friend. It just makes the viewer go "WHAT?" or "what? that doesn't make any sense. Why no police in that woods then?" In neither of those surrandos am I ever talking to her again. If any of my sister killed the puppy I've only had for two week by drowning her in a well and giving me a riddle to find the puppy, that sister is dead to me. 

I also hate the sister things, because underlying message that Sherlock is the way he is because of his sister being psychotic. In this backtrack, we get on to ableist territory. Basically, Mofftiss have planted themselves in a landmine field and I think we should leave them for a while. There is probably a idiot out they arguing it feminist for Sherlock to be define by a female character, but it just bullshit writing and 'Sherlock' cannot be argue as being anything near a feminist show after they turn The Woman into a love interest for Sherlock and has to be saved by him instead of getting one over him.

The plane thing was immediately fake. It becomes clear that it can't be happening in the same time as the challenges because planes do not just stay in the air if no one is flying them. They go down. So that wasn't a fakeout really, but Sherlock should have seen it as fake. She was in unmanned plane for hours with no turbulence. 

The montage at the end sucks. Lestrade's line is really forced, no one talks like that, that whole conversation is so awkward so that they can have that quote mangled in. Mary narration is odd too. Its meant to be a message for John (and Sherlock?), but she talks about them as if she doesn't know them personally. It obviously meant to be a finale. This is bad, don't do finale with Watson and Holmes. They just keep going so don't cap your show unless its with beekeeper Sherlock (who lives forever in my mind with Watson buried in the flowerbed). Also the last words of 'Sherlock' is currently 'Baker Street Boys'. Further proof that Mofftiss have been reading the fanfiction of their own show. Super dumb.

To be honest, I have started to believe the insanity that a fourth ep will play tomorrow instead of Apple Tree Yard, despite that being a very real thing that doesn't even have the same run length as Sherlock. Probably not. Was gonna watch Apple Tree Yard anyway as I own the book, but I am nowhere near having the motivation to actually read it. Ads for adaptation usually make me want to read the book, not this case. Maybe that's a sign. Oh, well I have nothing better to do (okay, I have tons of better things to do, but will I bother to those things?)

That's my mess of review of 'Sherlock'. Now and I'm off to write ten thousands word essay on why Elementary is the worst thing I have ever seen and hiding Leia Sherlock away from my sister.