Sunday, 7 April 2013

Beauty for yourself or expertion of others (a.k.a ballgrown and jeans are basically the same)

My older sister is frankly terribly shallow and likes to ruin a occasions of going out by criticizes mine and my sib's fashion sense.  In my opinion, she no one to talk considering she has no fashion of her own. She just follows whatevers meant to be "fashionable" and get rids of her clothes (some ain't even hers but you never getting that back) and then ends up buying the same thing brand new two years later. She loves all that terrible reality shows featuring orange people. She follows their example.

I've said all this rather insulting thing to rove the point that opinion is different. Her rather upsetting (only cause I'm depressed and prone to tears when I'm depressed) comments about my lack of effect inspired me to write post about whether beauty is really for yourself or what socity expects of.

My sister said something along the lines of "You should dress up for yourself" and how make it feel better. Frankly, I've been doing that for years. Dressing for oneself should mean that you one who decided whether glam up or not. Though, I dress for myself I get no sense pleasure from it. I feel the same wears pajamas as I do from wear fancy dress. Me and my sister (lets just call her sis from now on) differ on what is appropriate time to glam up.

I for one think its stupid to "glam up" for a rock/pop concert (unless you're one on stage and still) because those things are hot. No one is going to see you and what if you want to start a mosh pit. You really can't mosh in heels, it just not done. Though, I see a concert as the main event, she sees them as just something to do.

The thing that really bugs me is that she the opposite of dressing for yourself. She always goes by what she thinks is acceptable by society. When she insult me for not caring about my hair, frankly my night was going to be sitting in a dark threatre. Frankly, I don't understand how you wouldn't be bored spreading hours getting ready to go out. I don't see the fascination with going out to a club, paying to get in, over cost drinks and then theres the terrible music. I'm happy to be odd in these things.

Also looking "good" making you feel good never really work for me. Dressing up and making myself petty never actually makes me feel anything. It more something that you should do at certain times like formal events. My typical answer to "What are you planning to wear?" is a dress (or jeans if just whatever) and I wwill refuse to go on fuller. I find it rather annoying when someone tries to make this question into a discussion. We both going to the same event, I've already brought the dress, so you're going to see it, it will make no difference to what are you going to wear. My mother once show my other sister what I was wearing to this family party and it really bugged me for some reason. It probably had to do with the amount of time was being paid to this dress.

Yes, I dye my hair brightly colours, but that's more to with me getting bored with what I see in the mirror. The length of my hair is comfort and plaything. I do take alot pictures of myself, but that more to do with the fact they're no one else to play model when I have a idea. Also with make-up I tend to do it properly when I'm bored like I might draw or write nonsense when I'm bored.

 I have notions of wanting to look like a girl somedays, but mostly wear whatever find or some random statement about myself. When I buy T-shirts, they're usually either petty due to arty things; skulls,hearts and wings; have some witty phrase on it or merch of band/book/movie I loved.  In away they tell you something about as a person. Here have example of my sort of humour.

Actually, t-shirts with phrase on them brings us back to sis. My sister when left to her own devices will buy me things that are completely not me. They more the sort of thing she likes such as the two shirts she brought at different, I believe both were birthdays, gift giving times. One saying "You better earn more than I can spread on shoes". Shoes, frankly is something I've never paid that much attention expect wanting a decent pair of combat boots and converse style sand shoes. I must have been when I was like 12-14 age, maybe younger. Still I was definitely full fledged person, I was basically when I was four, I think the sort of the person I was clear when I was 2.

We'll always be different. My sister I guess just doesn't see it that way. Like I wouldn't demand that we all sit down and deeply discuss Harry Potter (or other fandom things). If that was the done thing among majority of my peer age then I would be pressured intositting through a discussion I might find dull as glass.

My point is making yourself "beautiful" is opinion. Though, acceptable dress will always be what society considers it to be and not what you individually think it should be. Still fuck them. I will never pay that much attention to my controlled beauty in daily basis, only notice spots when comes to appearing on camra and still then I tend to get on with it. I'm not saying I don't do things in the sake of beauty, it just not anyway near the top of the list of things I care about.

P.S. Sorry this tad bit like a personal rant and if appears to jumpy, that because I literally was jumping from back and forth different paragraphs as I wrote it. 

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