Saturday, 18 January 2014

Univeristy Thoughts (I'm so lonely).

My parents have this concern if I go to uni I'll be rather lonely. I don't share this concern that much since there is always phones, skype, Facebook and other wonders of the internet. I mean there lots of ways that I can keep in touch with my family. Sure I might end up being lonely but I'm already lonely where I am.

Family is great and all however none of them really share the same interest with me. I have no real friends down here. Anyone I get friendly with, has this tendency of moving away. Most of my friendships have ended with a moving van (and no none of them were ran over by a van). I still friends with them on Facebook which I would still be able to do if I moved across the country.

I think my parents are so concern I do what my brother did. Sure, I do have a history of avoiding school but most of those times was caused by other factors. I'm applying for something I like, I'm not just settling for being offer to be. Sure, there is university that my parents would be prefer be to go to cause they're closer to home or other family members live near there but I'm not going let geography define what I do for the four years of uni (It might end up being 3 years of uni). Frankly I've already made that mistake.

My parents have this double standard of saying that worry about me if anything was to happen to them because they don't think I'm independent enough. I don't know if they're just lumping me in with young half of their children. One of the reasons I think going to uni would be good for me is that it would force me to be independent. I would have to learn to survive on my own, but in more of a safe environment than just randomly moving to another city.

I know there's not a lot stuff that I do for myself. I don't do the ironing because I suck at it and have no need to learn to be better. I don't do the general cleaning of the rest of the house. Yes, I hover but with 5 hairballs of pets that always going to be a losing battle. I don't how to use a washing machine, the one time I tempted it I dye some of my clothes and probably damaged the others. I also don't buy my own food. Though, I live in a house where food tends to become life for another organism before any humans get to it.

I just hate where I live, I guarantee that I won't be living down here as soon as I can afford to live by myself. Mainly, because there not a film industrial of any kind. Sure, films have been filmed around here but not regularly. Even in terms of writing, this place just makes me unhappy and there nothing here for me but depressing sites. I basically want to leave so I never run into someone from I know every time I go out.

I just hate it here and it feels like I'm always about to spill into depression around here. My parents bring up these points. Going uni is already a scary notion, it been 4 years that I've wanted to go to uni and I haven't backed down. I'm sick of uni seemly like a pipe dream. I know it going to be hard for me to get in because life hasn't been fair. However, I'm not going to stop that from stopping me for going for it.

I want to study Film and English. I don't care if those are hard jobs to get into afterwards. Someone does do them and maybe I'll be one of those people.

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