Exams and No Longer Young (Carer)

So I got my exam results and I failed everything.

Okay, that's not true, but I wanted the opportunity to lie about my exam results since I was not able to do the fake in real life. Because my parents knew my results before me.  Thanks MySQA, though it is sort of my vault since I should have change the phone number. Basically, my father and I swapped sim cards therefore phone numbers. Having signed up for MySQA  last year and never changing the number. My dad (who never uses his phone) got a text message that contend my exam results. He open it, then went on to tell my mother and after I told them I don't want to know, they told me.

So you're thinking this is where I'm going to tell you, but I'm not since I'm trying to build tension. Though, probably quite badly. So my results went like this.

Higher Biology- B
Higher English- B
Higher Maths- B

To see me opening the Result letter go here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZglF2qQb3iI&feature=plcp

Not that impressive and my mother persistence that it is, is just rather annoying. I have five Highers at B grade, but that's over 3 years which works out as being average of 1.6667 per year. Not at all impressive. No matter how good the sob story most universities will look at my grades and straight up reject me. Even if I had got five Bs in one year, that not good enough either. They want As. My mother doesn't understand that. They basically nothing I can with my Highers when it comes to Uni.

Glad I got a B in English since it was some what in doubt if I would get it.

Other big news of the week is that I'm no longer a Young Carer apparently. I knew you were old once you hit 19, mum lied to me. What I really mean is that I'm no longer part of the YC group. I went on day trip with them on Tuesday which I like to refer as Three Bs, Three bike falls day, since I got my results and fell of a mountain bike three times. I like the Lazer tag, though painballs would have made it more extreme. Rest of was just bah and pain.

I basically fell off a mountain bike at speed three times. Hurting myself the worse the last time. Yay for bruises. It does actually hurt to walk and I also think I might have done something to my knee that only coming out to play today. I did scape my arms a bite and I bruised my palms.

I've got to say I'm loving the patterns. I feel crazy art brewing.

On Thursday, had my last one to one meeting thing with my (former) link...support...something worker... Yeah, no longer young carer, so I take that means I can go around saying I'm auld.

So this week has just me feeling old and sore. The future looks so bright right now.

Camp NaNoWriMO FINAL DAY (Butlins Damn you)

Ticket Winnings:Its for my little brother

Today is the last Day of Camp NaNoWriMo, isn't it so sad? Especially if you still haven't finish your novel and have over two thousand words to go.
As I said I was on holiday last week, which was "FUN". Okay, it wasn't that bad, I had all right time and won all this cool stuff (That Youtube won't let me share with you) from the arcade . I'm not sure if I have that much to say about the holiday, it wasn't one of those full of adventure and experiences. I did get tipsy for the first time and realise that alcohol is boring. No interest in it at all. Though, I'm sure my siblings will have something to say about that.

This was murder to get(from a2p machine)

Notepads double as  photo/sibling shields

As for the writing, that was a challenge. I did write during the first few nights and in the car journey down. I actually wrote while we at this disco/show thing. So was kinda good considering, though I was still terribly behind when I got on home at 5 am last Monday. I'm not saying what my current word count is, but I will say its not finish and I don't think it will be until next week.

Other thing that happen to me this week is, that I officially left school yesterday. Really it was me signing out, because you need to or you're officially remain in High School forever which is a lot bullshit. I think they do it to mess with us.
I've actually been avoiding doing it for some time, after 5th June since it just sound so awkward and it really was.

It be the last night I'll get to wandered around CDHS, unless I become a teacher or a parent like my mum, Who tag along to my signing fun, which involved going to each of my teacher's this year and getting them to sign a bit of paper saying that I currently haven't stole, er borrowed anything without returning it. Jokes on them, I still have a textbook which I have no intentions of returning and the teacher already signed my form *evil laugh insert here*.

I chit chatted with most of my teachers when I saw them, I actually was part of a one sided conversation with my maths teacher from SG. Who was obsessed with the notion of taking over the world as being a career choice and money being the main motive. I should have told him I was going to be studying an art subject at college and I don't see much money in my near future.

All my teachers, except for my art teacher who signed the form and I just left straight after, have been left with the impression that I'm going to become a writer. This mostly due my mum saying I'm going to be a "Famous Author" to my Maths and Biology teacher. My English teacher praised my writing and asked if I had ever tried/thought about to get any my stories published, I say no since I had nothing in my opinion that is publishable yet. She said my writing was good (though to my knowledge she only read my one or two of my stories) and should try to get published. She said to tell her/the school if I ever I do.

Oh, I already I have that fantasy of going back to shove my achievement in the supports' faces. I would just like say this comes from a small, bitter place inside me who feels confident about my writing. Unlike the rest of me who finds fault in most of it. Though seriously, if I ever did get published, I would offer the school a copy of my book for the library. It such a small town, that if/when I get a book with my name it on a shelve it would probably spread like fire. Maybe not, but I don't think it be some secret.

Maybe I'll be the only notable student on the school Wikipedia someday, LOL. Also To celebrate leaving school officially, I bought Playdough (well, my mum actually paid for it). Yeah, I got a toy for toddlers. Its the artist in me that wanted it.

Well that all for this week, I'm going to T-in-The-Park next week for the first time (Exciting and scary), so it be another pre-written post next week. Not sure yet what it'll be about. I know Dinosaurs.
I'm off to jump in the dark now, thanks for reading.

Why studying English isn't for all book lovers

While I'm out of the country (once again, I'm actually in England which currently is technically not another country, but it is) and no guaranteed internet, I leave you with my reflection of the topic of doing a degree in English.

This was something I truly thought about doing, I actually got a conditional from University of Dundee to do Psychology/English, so why I am not at Dundee? (Mainly because it summer, really) Because I knew I won't get the grades to do it and was correct. Still felt horrible when I pressed the decline button on UCAS track. I failed all my subjects except for that lousy B in Art. This year I thought about applying to do English again, but realised Dundee was only place that would take me. It was only place I wanted to go anyway, but Art was also calling. Yeah and we know how that turned out.

I love books, I truly do, I love writing, I even love how complex the English Language can be, but there something about studying the art subjects that destroys them. This is also referring once again to my horrible art experience, by the time I was kicked out of Art I was ready to throw out all my pencils and burned all that remained of all the pieces I did for it. Part of me, still wants to burn that blue butterfly, even though it took me months and worked out petty good.


Back to English, I think tearing apart books can ruin them, I quite enjoyed reading 'How to kill a Mockingbird'. However, I remember after studying it I never wanted to see or hear about it again. Three years later, I don't feel the same. Still probably won't reread it. Three times was enough.

Loving books doesn't automatic make you good at understanding their deeper meanings. I mean, I have got better at this, when reading great work of literature. I'm probably far better than I was a year ago. Also sometimes they just don't have some great meaning, sometimes they just great reads. Though, most of my favourites do have that deep meaning.

Another big factor with Studying English, is that there no real path afterwards. Most need further training afterwards. I know, that I would probably do anything to avoid a proper office job. That's why science currently my favourite pathway.

My main issue with English is that I'm Dyslexic and I've only been reading for eight years and most Universities are not willing to cut you any slack for this. I probably couldn't get into any Uni in Scotland but Dundee (why do St. Andy want French?)  Its a great Uni so who really cares.

Its funny, in all the different course I thought about applying to I always end up at Uni of Dundee.

Okay, this wasn't that detailed, but mainly dealt with the reasons it wasn't right for me.

The Writer's Version of Camping

Yesterday was the start of June, the Scottish weather is back to normal with the sun hiding; the midges have awoken and once more have began to slowly eat the Scottish population; Oh and the sun burn remains. So basically itching all the time and still being woke up from being too hot still.

Most importantly though, yesterday also meant the start of the first session of Camp NaNoWriMo (of the year); I'm just one of the many attempting this challenge. I've been wanting to do NaNoWriMo since I heard about it, which was about this time last year. I read about it creeping about the late Inkpop's forms. I didn't know about the Camp that year and sadly I was too busy to do it last November because I was basically failing an important subject which will remain nameless and failed.

In case, you're unaware of the concept of NaNoWriMo (if not skipped to the next paragraph ;]); it basically where you try to write 50000 words in 30 days or a month as 30 days is sometimes known. NaNoWriMo is officially in November and Camp NaNoWriMo just means you do it in the summer during June or August 

(or if you're like me; both).

I debated what idea to use for my month novel for the past few months before finally centrally on using idea that had been playing on my mind for years, since I was 15 to be precise. I had actually started writing this idea, but looking over it, it an example of how bad my writing used to be. The whole thing need to be rewritten and I've reshaped some vital points as well so far, such as when one of the important characters is
introduced. I actually first got the idea from a English Stand Grade Personal writing past paper. The idea was to write a short story to go with the Title "The Stranger". This will play an important part in novel, my original idea might even be expanded. We just see how it goes.

As for August book, will be a completely undone idea. I might use one of my old plans that never actually got around to using or my most recent ideas of a sort of Queen (the band) inspired novel or finally let that horror theme park of my dreams have full ran of my conscious mind. Still have two months to decided. I'm semi worried about this one, as I'll be starting College at the end of August *Gulps*.

So far I'm doing well and have a clear idea where "The Stranger" is going. I obviously need to write at least to write 1667 words a day to keep the goal, but my personal goal is at least 2000 words a day. In the one day, I've kept this goal. Obviously, I can't just go and abandoned my other goals and commitments.

Speaking of which, I have to finish this week's book and take care of a family book case that badly needs organising (something I've decided to do unprovoked).

 Wish me luck.
P.S. Heres my profile encase you're interested:  http://campnanowrimo.org/campers/phoenixangel

Exams: The Epic Battle or They're here, They're here, Study for your lives.

Ar...so my exams have officially started and will officially end on this Wednesday (23rd). My first exam was the hellish English, that mocks me so with my many books. Being Dyslexic, I take my exams in the library/by myself because I get a scribe. So I arrived early and was the first person there besides the invigilator. It was ten minutes till the exam was meant to start. The only other candidate had arrived, but still no one from the support base. My English teacher went to find out what was going on.  Anyway, it turns out no one was assigned be to my scribe and the other person's reader. It was fine though, just got a scribe virgin (a person who never scribed before).

It all worked out, I guess. I mostly did the Close Reading myself, which was about the Olympics how very topic SQA. Way to go, staying in tune with the kids. I suppose at least one of the Passages wasn't written by Boris Johnson like last year. I wonder if was to test to see if the candidates actually read the wee info bit above the passages.

Well, I think the Close Reading went well. The Critical Essay part not so good. I finish both essays with decent points. I think one was far better that the other. I think I've past, I might have managed that B. However, I don't want to get my hopes up. I want to put it behind me until I get that Certificate in the mail or that email I don't fully trust, but is always right.

I'm glad to have my hardest exam over with. Maths and Biology next week, both which I been getting Bs in and hopefully I'll be able to produce that Mighty A in them.

The day of my maths exam will actually be the adversity of when I started this blog to complain about how I was probably going to fail. I feel haven't been repeating bad habits that much, except for that eerily similar post that appear on my LiveJournal this week.  Though, that was more to do about my panic over the exams, not that I had thought I had failed.

I thought my glare would be warning enough

My best friend brought me this necklace for my Birthday and it just arrived, I'm going to wear it to my remaining exams; because I'm definitely plan on kicking their butts.

I'm off to prepare for battle.