Saturday, 12 March 2016

A Date by Myself

I am once again far from home. Home being my Laptop. I have been dragged to Glasgow and abandoned to wander alone. Sibling is on a date and I’m drinking two Costa drinks; sitting alone in the YA section of Waterstones. So of course, I am perfectly happy.

I haven’t properly worked on my creative writing this week. Nor have I been reading. Or editing. Nothing as usual. I think my biggest problem right now is that I know how terrible my writing is. It is frustrating to have to send terrible writing for feedback knowing what’s already wrong with it. In theory I should be able to write a brilliant story, knowing what makes one, but nothing pours out my fingers when I go to write.

I have tons of ideas. I’ve been having complete story dreams again. I just can’t get those ideas out of my head. Frankly, I am terrible. Writers’ Block might not be a thing but not producing anything of value is a serious problem.

Of course, maybe I am just being too critical of myself (and possibly everyone else). I haven’t read a really good book in a while. I find fault in all. I’ve always been a critical little shit and now that applies to my own writing. I don’t feel I’ve improved in years. My best work is four years old and I’m starting to see the issues with that.

 I would just like a story to come out formed instead of stilted and unworkable. I got a low B for Creative Writing and I think that I was lucky to get that. I will probably post those stories here, as there are too bad to do anything else with.

I bet you think I should just shut up and write. That maybe my problem is that I am expecting to find gold in a dried up river instead digging it out of the mountain. Cursing every black rock and throwing them away rather than polishing them to gleam gold. Well, I feel like I am polishing them to nothing.

I have no solution for this issue but to try and write out of it. It doesn’t seem to be working. Like I said I think everyone is terrible; at least I’m still grouping myself with published, best selling, acclaimed and award winner writers. I’m pretty sure the issue is with me.

On brighter news, my car has been fixed. Turns out I’ve been driving a death trap for over a month. The coil spring had broke in front right wheel and it had gotten into the steering and scraped a bolt as well. I went on the motorway several times with it like that. Probably happen in a pothole, which is not surprising as someone has dug up giant holes on the road I drive to get home. Also speed bumps are the devil. Don’t even work. Some mental risked death this week by spending hours going up and down a walking path on a scooter or something. Many threaten death. I just cursed him with fake magic.

I have finished both my drinks. This is a good moment to end this post of self wore. I am now going to find a book to read on the train home.

Update: I accidentally posted this twice due to bad internet. To match my two drinks I suppose.

Wednesday, 9 March 2016

Book Review: The Shadow Hour by Kate Riordan

Those ten minutes must be really disruptive for Bristol.

Two generations of women, and one house that holds the terrible secrets of their pasts 1922. Grace has been sent to the stately and crumbling Fenix House to follow in her grandmother's footsteps as a governess. But when she meets the house's inhabitants, people who she had only previously heard of in stories, the cracks in her grandmother's tale begin to show. Secrets appear to live in the house's very walls and everybody is resolutely protecting their own. Why has she been sent here? Why did her grandmother leave after just one summer? And as the past collides with the present, can Grace unravel these secrets and discover who her grandmother, and who she, really is?

This book begins with a strong start, but the plot is a bit of a mess and full coincidences. It's oddly reliant on Glimmers (seeing images of the "future"and just straight up lies. Who builds a plan for a grandchild on a image they had in their head before their actual child was born?

The characters are a bit meh. They are actually decent by themselves, but their relationships really take away from them as characters. I liked Harriet, but as grandmother she is terrible and it is a shame she lives in a age before there were decent therapists.

There is a plot point at the end of the book, that I just don't get. I think it was a weird addition to the story. Where other things are set up and we never get anything from it. 

I did like the switch between the present and the past, switching between the POV of Grace and Harriet. Also that we start and end in the middle of those times. Riodan has done a good job of making both narrators compelling and I remained keen to know both of their stories. 

Overall, I give this 3/5 stars for incest hints. There are lot of elements in this books that just don't merge right for me, mainly the glimmers. The rest of the novel is done well and captures the time period realistically.

I got this book for review off NetGalley and it was published by Penguin on



Saturday, 5 March 2016

Trapped by Books

Life has been calmly ciatic. I have a large list of things I have to do and as the others have a definite deadline. Of course, I often find myself doing nothing and just laying in the briss of stress building. I feel like I don't have a day off any more. I have to read stuff and write things for class while moving.

Put the reviewing stuff on top of that. I have no time to read the stuff I want to read. While I want to read the books I request for review, they feel like a tour and stress me out to get it done. This doesn't need put me in the best mood when reading them and I don't think they get a fair review. Basically, weekly book reviews have to stop for now. I have idea of how to replace them that would take less time while inflecting my opinions on to the world but I don't want to make promises.

Reviews are something I like doing. However, there have been a struggle to write recently. There also not a priority. I want to create my own stuff even if contains some of the issues I would criticise in a review. Though, first drafts are for mistakes and to be criticise by everyone.

To summarise the reviews will come when I have time and when they ready instead of wrote in a rush the night before or lied about when I posted them. There could be big gaps during this month as I am moving and therefore have no weekends.

I spent today moving stuff into the house and will spend tomorrow doing the same thing. I want to make the most of my education and do other career stuff. The weekly random posts still stand and I will continue to work on the novel. I am still working on it but there's not enough to make a chapter and I will at least post complete chapter even not having a full idea how our story will get to its last point.

I will write to next week with something. I might do writing prompts that can be completed in a hour if I'm working on the novel but it's not happy to show itself off.

Saturday, 27 February 2016

Bad Poetry

I used to write poetry a lot. Its something I only do when in the mood for now which is not a lot. Today, I wish to share with some of the random pieces of writing that I called poems. Enjoy these unedited pieces and glimpse into my mid-teen mind.

WeddingDay Memory

Rain pipe bird
Small and Soft
Sitting sweetly
Staying for a moment
And you futter away.
 

Beautiful Fear

The trees were falling gentle
The sky was full of nature fireworks
The wind played hard against the house
The rain sneaked in
The lights disappear but the fireworks continue to bang 
 

Boredom

Boredom, Boredom everyway but not drop to dunk

Be careful of what you wait for...It might come

Rose are rope, violets are violent and you've just as rough.

London bridge is Booming down, booming down, booming down. London bridge boom down, my fugly lady.

Now I know my Alpha male, won't you come and howl with me. 
 
 
Yes, that last one is just random sentences that I post as a poem. I do not like to rhyme in my poems. I'm going to save the others for another day. I shall flee now, as I have to park or pretend to anyway.
 

Wednesday, 24 February 2016

Book Review: All of the Above by Juno Dawson

Here's hoping for a circle of gay.

When sixteen-year-old Toria moves to the faded seaside town of Brompton-on-Sea, she doesn't expect to fall in love once - let alone twice. But life has a habit of pulling you in strange directions, and when it comes to matters of the heart, sometimes you just have to let go, be free, and let love choose you.

This novel is basically tumblr in the form of a book. The bad and the good. You have variety of sexuality and a over-judgemental sixteen year old who thinks she knows better but is really just a little shit. Toria and I didn't really get off on the best foot:

"It sort of feels good to have some order back in my life. Does that make me sound autistic?" Chapter 1, pg 12.  Great Start, Toria.  She also jokes to have other disorders. She also preaches at the reader and then does something problematic herself straight after. I guess this was a possibly intentional as people are flawed (there are 16 years old like this), if only her flaws weren't so annoying. Here are other quotes with my initial reactions: 

"Who says 'uni' any more, seriously?" Everyone you fucking c*nt. What else would they say?
"AMINE IS NOT CARTOONS." It is and there is nothing wrong with that. Though, Ice Age is on the terrible side of animation.

Toria just straight up says and does unlikable things. On her whole she doesn't bug me that much, but I do spend a lot of time on Tumblr and built up a tolerance to this type of hypercritical bullshit. I also do think it was Dawson's intention for her to be flawed, to make her realistic.

The other characters are band of misfits with their own issues. To be honest, their issues feel rather shallow and more to give Toria an interesting experience. Its a real pet peeve of mine for protagonists to learn from the suffering of their "friends". This is lessen by the fact, Toria herself adds to the diversity from the start of the book, being mix-race herself (which is good to see reflected in the cover). The thing is everyone does have something, but so many people are so open with what their deals are and weirdos do stick together. It just a level of openness not supported with the school environment presented. There is an actual love triangle in this book rather than the line typical in YA. It was overall okay and we get Bi characters that don't like labels. (This is a tumblr troop that I disagree with for personal and non-personal reasons).

The big problem with this book is that it features the "bury your "blank" trope, which was surprising from someone of that belongs to one these typical blank. The LGBTQA+ characters have fallen by this trope. Changing the G to another letter doesn't change that's its a "Bury your gays" moment. I am a queer, disabled person so I hate this trope with a passion, no matter the blank, but to see it under both main blanks was a big slap in the face. This a life lesson moment for the protagonist, it not about this character losing out on life. The reason this is a terrible trope, is that these labels under represented in media and its devastating when your only representation dies...repeatedly. Especially, as there are usually the only ones with that representation in the specific media. There's not enough of us to be so carelessly disregarded. Then there's we are always the villain trope that was really big in the last century... I can't say much more about this book version of the trope without just saying who it is, I'm just trying to distract you with tropes that the Disabled and LGBTQA+ both have together now. Though, feel free to tell me your favourite disabled (or disfigured), coded gay villain in the comments or just randomly tweet me their name.

Told by a reflective Toria (though not much) first-person and is split into the four seasons Autumn, Winter, Spring and Summer. The almost reflective thing didn't work well.

 Contemporary books can be a bit plot lost, though this wins with featuring a crazy golf course.

Overall, I give this book 4 out of five stars for hair dye. This book was not quite the circle of gay I was hoping for, but it was an okay light read (tons of possible triggering stuff though. I know I have odd sense of what a "light read" is). It tries to do a lot with representation, I don't know if maybe it too much to have in one book. It felt a little forced to me, but with the lack of diversity in YA maybe we do have to shove in as much as possible.Though, its still fails to be good representation.

Saturday, 20 February 2016

Trapped by Family

I have started but not finished the next chapter. I blame my family who kidnapped me and forced me to stay at my sister's house. I was meant to be taking my brother to the pictures but there nothing he wanted to see that he could legally see in a cinema. For some reason every kids film was on in the morning. Ended up going for a meal. Imagine the horror.

I also have a lot of work for uni to do and not a free weekend to do it in. Busy week of stuff.

We're finally moving. Next month meaning I'm not going to have a free weekend for a long while as I'm going to have park hundreds of books and sorting the junk that has been complied in my room in the last year. Despite having a clear out almost every year, my room is still full of stuff. There is stuff I should probably get rid of or can go in the attic at least. On the plus side I can finally have a full size bookcase and we turning a too thin closet into shelving.

The books will certainly be fun to sort through. Though, honestly that should probably be the last thing I do, among dismantling my bed. Kinda dreading it though as I'm going to have to share a room and I barely have room for my stuff now.

I'm making no promises, but I plan to keep working on the novel and do the whole review things as I can't stop requesting books off Netgalley. I will type to you next week till then enjoy this random sentence I wrote.

I'm aimlessly walking again.

Wednesday, 17 February 2016

Book Review: 13 Minutes by Sarah Pinborough

Because you should always trust a dog to be on time.


This is an excellent physiological thriller that manages well to mess with you.

 The book is written in different forms, first person POVs, a diary, text messages and fun documents stolen from the police.This worked well with the mystery side of the novel and feeding us the information at satisfying rate with the characters.

The main characters ain't that likable. They're believable, except Becca's thoughts about her "Best Friend" are terrible and don't buy that they would be as close as they are in the novel. Besides that, it totally works with the rest of the story. 

The mystery side is done very well and you never get a clear solution right till the end. I think it gives a realistic way of discovery and doubts that mislead. 

Overall, I gave this book 4 out of 5 stars for stage lights.This was a really great thriller and the clues were lay out got us to stick with the characters' thinking.

I got this for review off NetGalley and is being published by Gollancz on

Saturday, 13 February 2016

Dance Hall: Chapter 3, Night Time Vistors

Hello, I am meant to be dying my hair today. I saw Deadpool yesterday. I joked I was only going to see Ryan Reynolds' arse, going off the close up in the trailer. Turns out you do see it multiple times, in different states of visibility. It was good, though I was disappointed that it was only a 15. I wrote the majority of this chapter than last week. This chapter is bit dialogue heavy but I'm trapped by myself. These things won't be perfect as I'm uploading them as I'm writing them so chapters will probably have slight plot issues. No proper title yet.


Chapter 3, Night Time Visitors

I accepted the soup. Dinner was mostly silently while chewing bread. We went back to our rooms immediately after. Thank God. Still no ghosts. No presences. This doesn’t seem right. Ghosts don’t hide this long.

“Don’t you think it’s odd?” I ask my mother again.

“The hotel isn’t…”

“No,” Seriously how can she have not noticed. “I mean how quiet it is.” Maybe she did deal with the ghosts before she sent them off.

“Not really. It’s the quiet season.”

“So,”

“If there use to a lot of new, highly energised people wanting to make contract, two mediums who are not interested,” Mum’s not quite over the Neomancy. She paused now at her door. “Well, why chase after Tom Cruise when Ryan Gosling is throwing himself at you.” She walks into her room, leaving me dumb founded being called Tom Cruise. I am Ryan Reynolds. Also that’s just dumb and we are the only one here right at this moment.

“That’s a nice theory, but completely not how ghost work.” I turn to Aytia lurking in the hallway.

“I am aware of that.” I go into my own room, not wanting to have a conversation with Junior Creep. She pushes her way into the room as I’m shutting the door. I shut it anyway.

“Do you mind?”

“No,” she sits on the bed, ignoring my annoyance.

“So where are the ghosts?”

She sighs.

“They’re in the empty rooms. We don’t get along,”

“Why don’t you get along?” I ask leaning against the draws that has a pair of twins attached to it that will throw whatever is on or in the draws at you. God, who want to stay here? They had given the last owner a concussion. Okay, maybe I did know why they didn’t get along.

“Er…,” she lays down on the bed. “They were just everywhere and I didn’t want Dad to know that I can see ghosts, because he would like never stop…”

She keeps going, while I step out of the hall and to the room next door. The door is locked. The keys are probably lying in unlockable desk down stairs, but ghosts don’t need locks so why bother.

I kneed down by the door and looked through the key hole to darkness. I get down on the floor to see underneath the door. I can’t see anything either. Sometimes you can see ghost in the dark, like mirrors reverting all the available light. Though, also not. Physics when it comes to ghosts has not been figured out.

I’m tempted just to summon one, but knowing me I would summon them all and my mother will kill me, leaving to haunt at this cheesy hellhole. Limbo would more accurate. limbohole? Maybe I could feel one. I place my least favourite hand at the door. I can just get my pinkie finger under the door. It just feels like the cold air of the hall.

“What are you doing?”

I look up at Aytia and get up from the floor.

“What are you?” I say finally. This town is meant to be full of witches, but they no way to know what someone is unless they tell or show you. She looks confused.

“A…witch?” She says it like it might be the wrong answer. I walk past her back to my room.

“Wait, are you not?” See.

“No, I’m a Necomancer,” I say for the first time. I’ve never had this conversation. Usually, my conversations involving magic were with people my mum knew so they knew/presumed we were both Mediums. Why correct anyone when it comes to how powerful you are?

“What?” She looks shocked from what I can see of her face. “You can control the dead.” Technically, I’ve really did it, on purpose anyway. I just nod.

“Wow,” she sounds in awe. “You’re like crazy powerfully then.” In the Death Contracter scale but that should be nothing to a witch. They can really fuck shit up and have epic wars with other high powered creatures. I hear creaking. I realise it probable my mum can hear us if she still up.

“Shut up and get in here,” I whisper through my teeth. She hesitates before doing as I say. I dump myself on the bed and stare up the ceiling. I’ve probably messed up my sleeping pattern from napping earlier.

“Shut the door,” I sit back up. Atyia is just staring at me.

“What?”

“I’ve never met anyone who’s that powerful.”

“What are you on about?” I honestly don’t have a clue why this is such a big deal to her.

“You can control things without a heartbeat.”

“So?”

“That’s like half the demons.” Demons were basically magic users without souls for ever reason. Some are cigma looking and others monstrous, all human.

“You know that’s not how magic works.” Well, I would hope so, 16 was middle-aged for witches.

“Yeah, it is.” I stare her down.

“I only have power over the dead. I summon and banish them, that’s it. I can’t lead an army of the dead.”

“But you could.” I couldn’t, that would be on the high level of Necomancy, which I doubt I ever will be. Though, I’ve never tried.

“So they could float through walls and throw vases at people?”

“Well, yeah but you could steal their energy…”

“You’re talking about Dark magic,” I get from the bed. “You know what path that leads to.” Being almost immortal without a soul or loveones.

“I didn’t mean you would,” she looks almost apologetic. “I’m sorry, it just I’ve never met a Necomancer and the stories about you guys are epic.”

“So are the story about the witches. It doesn’t make it true.” Magic didn’t deal a lot with facts. It’s all just folktales and gossip. One person becomes several or vice versa and has goddess like powers.

“But you’re rare.”

“Exactly, there is no base of reality,” I pause thinking. “Take the Slayers, they all gone but few hiding out somewhere. The last story we have them of was made into a comic book that stopped when she died.” Using one life story to sell comic books was one of the most interesting ways to make money out of this magic existence. “She survived her whole family being slaughtered by jumping off a roof. If it’s her story she sad bad arse, but taken from the point of view of anyone else, all the adult slayers died to save two kids and a baby that just go on to live terrible lifes by all accounts.”

She nods.

“Except the Slayer are all bad asses with tons of powers…”

“How many witches have two active powers?”

“I do,” she says smugly.

“How many?” I choose to ignore her which seems to be a repeating theme.

“I don’t know,” She says finally. “Like 1 in 50, maybe”.

“Exactly and almost never get as strong as someone with one. Even then the stories always involve being ultra-powerful and have active powers that don’t even belong to the same family.”

“So you can’t raise the dead?”

“No,” I lie. I don’t trust her enough to her about being my neighbour fish started swimming when I touched it. She complete stranger and I never even told my mum about that when I said it. It died again a few days later so it possible I did nothing.

“Anyway, what with your dad and the ghost buying?”

“He inherited this place and decided to play up the haunted thing?”

“Really?”

“Or invisible demon messed up the house. I don’t know I wasn’t born. I hate this place too, but I don’t live here so stop the judgey stuff.”

“I’m not,” Who was I judge when it came to mistreating the dead? “Except maybe the room of dolls.”

She shrugs.

“As nice as this chat has been, we’re leaving early so I rather get some sleep, than learn the history of this hotel.”

I get up and lead her out of the room.

“I’ll see around then.”

I just hum in response before shutting and locking the door.

Next Chapter: Vague Warnings