Personal Hell.

I've been attempting really hard to write my personal statement. However, I have found this difficult when all the obvious openings are clichés. Not use the words "passionate" or "fascinate", nor use thesaurus to get better words. As a dyslexic person I can't promised to do the last one as I often use a thesaurus to figure out to spell the word I actually want. Also it unfair to assume just because I'm a young person that I don't have a large vocabulary especially as I'm applying to English courses. I should be well read and therefore have a large vocabulary; to be able to use words like copse in a sentences. Though, not should how that would come up in a personal statement but who knows, maybe I I find trees really inspiring. 

I had a free book came today. Thanks Curious Fox for the cook book, what a same I only make pancakes and sometimes cupcakes from the same mix.

I been practicing my theory test and it not going well. Nothing is. Actually I can pass the theory part, its the hazard part I'm trying to get through. I have passed a practiced version of it once but not since so annoying as I don't want to fail this and I have to have passed it before they're give me my grant for my lessons. I have less than a week to study it. Best to study hard then.

There is a lot stuff I have to do this week: finishf my personal statement; study for the theory test; write future posts and pack of course. I should also do some stuff for Sociology.

I went to editing session for the Horror film I help make during the summer. Didn't edit much, mostly it was just watching other mess with the sound. Saw the almost finished version of the film, a lot of stuff is been cut. Not completely sure what I think about it. There is lot of continuity errors. There is one scene that bugs because I'm sure we refilmed when that issue became apparent. Also I think one of the scares has sort of been ruined by the fact that it to be refilmed and doesn't have the same impact but that being said original filming was not great. Out of focus and had unbelievability facts.

I think with films there is something you have to let go off. Weird lighting is one of them. The guy got who organized got my name slightly wrong so it now a thing that going to be as many variation of my name as possible during the credits. I enjoy joke credits a lot. I had been tempted to suggest that the tripod get credit. I can't think of any others that I wouldn't be stealing from the Animaniacs' credit. My favourite is "Names: By Our parents".

I'm off to try and type my thoughts about films and books into something that will make someone want me on their course/university.

Mortal UKAS

Hello dear readers, this week has certainly been more interesting in the second half. Though, it usually is as I have no real reason to ever leave the house before Thursday and I usually don't. On Thursday I went to college where I felt terrible, I've been feeling Fibo at moment. You know numb limbs that go to sleep without me and I sure do feel tired at lot. I woke with my arms aching at the elbow and wanting to go back to sleep for a year.

I actually had two large cans of energy drinks (cherry) that day. I downed my first can before class. My arms stopped hurting but still tired during class. I then walked across town to catch the bus home which I wasn't that happy about. The reason being that I was meant to be going to an open day that started at 4pm and the bus didn't get to the nearest town to me till 3pm. I had my doubts about getting there on time and I was right to because we ended missing the talk I was going there for. We also went the wrong way but we late before that. *sighs* Parents. I always forget to lie about the time we need to get there.

I got a tour of the Uni Creative department that involves radio studio, music studio, TV studio and very impressive lighting in the performance area that's worth half million pound. I talk to the person in charge of the course about what they looking for in the personal statement and found out that delightfully I don't have to submit a portfolio for this one and the course has reasonable number of students. The person was trying to console me with that 300 people who apply end up going to apply. I wanted to laugh, I was relieved. Especially since I've already got the grades to get in there so I just need to sell myself in my personal statement.

I really don't get where Edinburgh gets off only accepting 8-10 people. It fucking nuts and it sort of put me off there. I'm still applying there, but its not my favourite anymore. We see how things develop.The opening day on Thursday made me excited and hopeful instead of crying in a corner. Also its in a cheaper place and closer to family and where I want to be. I really need to write my personal statement so that I can start my Track wait before my Holiday. The portfolio for Edinburgh will still have to be done.

Friday was Friday with college, UCAS talk and Marks and Spencer fun. Today was the day I could get the limited edition of 'Books are in my Bag' bag so I drove to nearest large town where I brought books from the nearest chains. No clue why I bother with WHSmith as they sell damaged books full price. Oh, yeah 2 for 3.

I also brought video games and pondered getting Murdered: Soul Suspect Limited Edition. I want the game but not sure if the Limited Edition is worth it. So far I've only found it for £7 more than the standard. I tried Game where I found a Metel case of Injustice but it turned out that they only had the metal case out to lure people which is why I like Games Centre better than Game which reminds me that I need to find my 3DS.

I have a lot of things to do before I disappear to the states. UCAS, Blog, review books to read, college work and messing around with my new camra. I brought one and it came today. I had thought about geting this waterproof one but decided just to stick with my first choice.

My little brother discovered Mortal Kombat the other day. Oh, childhood memories of virtually beating each other up and trying to figure how to kill each other. Still Game was good by the way.
Childhood.

I found out that Natural Theatre's Frankenstein is showing when I'm away. The real fun part is that its showing in Florida the day I arrive and the day I'm going to the Universal Horror Night. Damn the fates. I always missed out on something when I go to Florida. It's like I can't win. My parents kept saying just to get the DVD. Well, there isn't one because...they don't want there to be.

That's everything of interest that happen I think. We also got pizza and dominio stuff which I'm now going off to eat. See ya next week losers.

Book Review: Stolen Child by Lauren Elliot

 I bet it was the trolls that took her.

It's every mother's worst nightmare.

Carla Kelly wakes to find her two-day-old baby daughter's cot empty.

Isobel has been taken.

Susanne Dowling has been keeping a terrible secret following her fifth agonising miscarriage. But when at last she welcomes her new baby daughter into her life nothing else matters. They will both be safe as long as Susanne keeps her daughter close and confesses her lie to no one. Ever.

Carla, a top model, launches a fierce national campaign to find her child – but the trail is cold. She receives threats and recriminations from strangers – she flaunted her pregnancy in the media, she cashed in on it, she deserves everything she gets – and, encouraged by well-meaning loved ones to move on, she begins to fall apart.

But one letter Carla receives stands out from the rest. It offers support from a surprising quarter. And it sets in to motion a chain of events that opens wounds and exposes shocking secrets from Carla’s past that suggest what happened to her daughter was revenge a long time planned.

And it will bring Carla unknowingly close to the stolen daughter she has sworn she will do anything to get back …

It told in different points of view, but the voice are not at all distinct in tone which is weird considering one is a third-person narrator and the other is meant to be first-person diary. It doesn't come across a diary except you're told its a diary. The writing feels very bland, though the writing is flowly and pretty I guess is the word.

The characters are very dull. I didn't care much about them. Wasn't invested at all. It was just that with the voices not being distinctive they don't feel like people. What was happening to which character, even later on. It just didn't feel like there was difference between the main characters.

The plot was well thought out but that's probably not enough in this book as it's not at all plot driven.

Overall, I gave this book 3 out of 5 stars for seahorses. It was alright book but it just didn't pop for me. 

I got this for review off Netgalley and it published by Avon on 9th October 2014

Dream Panic Horror

I have odd dreams at lot, the one I had the other day was special in the case that told someone within the same dream about that odd dream. If you interesting it was basically it came to light that author Maureen Johnson's real name was Scarlet Lelia or another name and people were really upset by this news for some reason. The moral is of the story is not to scan Twitter before sleeping or you're dream about American writers.

Today I have to go up to my sister's for some reason today. The reason is meant to be we going to go see a show tomorrow, in the afternoon. I don't like sleeping over at my sister because her house is tiny and she has terrible taste in comfortable sleeping places. Seriously her couch has always been more comfortable than her spare bed has ever been.

I should be packing or something for it, instead I'm choosing to write to you lot. I'm not saying much of interesting am I?

College is still happening. Hopefully, the studying of Higher Psychology will be happening soon. I hand in forms for it this week. I only found out about the forms last week. I'm procrastinating from figuring a Common Sense explanation to look up. I don't believe in Common sense in terms of explaining things, but you should use it for how you behaviour. You know, don't walk into oncoming traffic and don't be a dick to strangers on the street.

I have also not finish writing my personal statement, but have had several panic session about it and some of it actually escape my head by vocal (screaming and speaking gibberish to my mum) and written (nonsense about stories and YouTube).

I got to leave like now and I don't have much else to say. I'm taking suggestions for future reviews and post ideas when I'm out of the country which will be in three weeks times. I'm looking for British Horror books because I'm in the mood for that. I'm always in the mood for that but I realised that I haven't read any horror in awhile. I want British because of the book challenge and somehow already in my possession.

Give me suggestion and I've got to go good day.

Book Review: Zom-B: Baby by Darren Shan

Oh, that baby is adorable. In comparison of other monster babies.

B has spent the last few months bunking with the Angels, a group of teens dedicated to eradicating the evil dead from the face of the earth, beginning with the undead roaming the abandoned wreckage that was once London. But the Angels' mission is a bit more complicated than that, and B takes to the streets of a very changed London to decide: is it a mission really to be believed? But instead of answers, B finds a horror beyond imagining.

This is the 5th book in the Zom-B series and I only promise to be spoiler free for this book. If you haven't read the other four books why not check out my reviews of them: 
Zom-B, Zom-B: Undergound, Zom-B: City and Zom-B: Angels.

This book was disturbing mainly because I think Rage might have flirted with B. B was her typically aggravating self.  It like she has no self-preservation sometimes. Yes, you're dead but that comes with own problem of no healing power at all.

This was mostly character study really. So little happen in terms of plot and you probably guess by the title what that was. It all happens near the end of the book. 

I said this was character development stuff but don't feel as reader we got much. I guess there was relationship building that's probably relevant to the series overall plot. I know these books are short but I want to more within those 250 pages. The pictures are pretty. Though, I do doubt many people say that about illustrations of zombies. 

Overall, I gave this book 3/5 stars for zombies on skates. I like this series but I just wish there was more plot in the books.

Tramatic Open days

I went to an Open day for one of the university I'm interesting in attending. It was a problematic process getting there. I had to get up at 3.40 to catch the bus to get there. However, I only fell asleep at 11pm something and somehow slept through my alarm. Actually, I think I turned it off in my sleep. I'm a person who does that.

So we missed the first bus, we just missed the seconded bus because I had confused its time with the first bus we had missed. So we chased the bus and finally caught up with it an hour later. Way to go us.

Once we finally got into the city, we had to find where we were going as we first came across the the uni library and thought it was where we were meant to be. It wasn't there probably should have signs to point you in the right direction, considering they knew people would be visiting from different places and not know the city at all. Frankly, I don't know the street name for the nearest town to where I live.

I had a terrible hot chocolate and we eventually found the right building. We wait in line for a while, but due to it being "Over-subscribled" my mother couldn't go into the talk with me (I had to actually send her away.) I found out the horrifying fact that the course apparently only has 8-10 people on it. Small she said. Someone asked how many people apply and the tutor refused to answer. She said she didn't want to horrify us. Well, too late because there was more than ten people in the room and that talk had been given two times already (on another open day) and there was another that day. That probably 100-160 people who at at least showed up to the open day for the course. That information alone is horrifying. I really don't get why that would put people off applying or making that journey.

OMG, 10 people is tiny. Also they like having a lot of international students. HAHAHA *laughs manically whilst rocking self forward and backwards for hours*

Still applying because there isn't another good option anyway. Who knows I might be in that ten. *laughing and rocking begins again* I once won a contest for my drawing of my dream room and who knows how many probably didn't enter that.

 The worst part is I was already anxious about my portfolio. I have footage but nothing edited. I have a few ideas but not sure if any of them are good. I know what I want to do and I know its a competitive industrial but I didn't think the training would be that competitive. It was my favourite but I can't honestly plan to get in. It's contest and who knows what they will think of me.

I guess the worst part of creative careers is that any rejection is a rejection of your soul. * The laughing and rocking begins again but tears are clear to falling down checks*

I have the writer answer of saying it's all experience to draw on. *a single tear escapes this time, hints of past trauma*

I also got a grant for driving lessons and tests so YAY! Booked my theory test so that's happening. I brought things I shouldn't of have today. I've also decided not to make BookTube videos (the video even went up saying so) for a while, I just don't to have that self inflicted pressure to create when I have more important pressure to create something I could use as a portfolio.

Now I'm off to make a Big Tall Wish and try my best to believe in magic.

Book Review: Zom-b: Angels by Darren Shan

Of all the characters to be still walking why did it have to be you.

After spending the last few months wandering around London--a city filled with the dead--B Smith has given up hope for any sign of normal human existence. But then B finds strange signs all over the city--a "Z" plus red arrows. Following them, B finds The Angels-- a group gathered in the hopes of combating the evil dead and the forces that introduced them. But all is not as it seems and it's up to B to find out: what battle are they truly waging?

This is probably not going to be the best review as I can't for the life of me remember how this ended from the top of my head. Probably some cliff-hanger like the rest of the books in the series. This is the fourth book in the series so if you haven't read any of them why not go check out my reviews of them: Zom-B, Zom-B: Undergound and Zom-B: City.

We get more explanations here and I'm not at all impressed with them. I did go "really" a lot and laughed at once at the absurdity of it all. I know this written for kids younger than me, but they do have brains (the zombies haven't got to them yet). I guess most won't realise what a staple in horror the explanation turns out to be. Probably just think of Call of Duty, but there is literally films out there about this from at least the 60s.

I gave this book 3 out of 5 stars for Nazi Zombies. I'm just not loving this series at the moment. I've got the next book in the series to read which I'm going straight on to now. It's not at the point where I would stop reading but if it gets any worse. Maybe.

A Depressed Scotland makes me Depressed

Haló. So I woke up to the worse possible news at 5am yesterday: my country remains to be ruled by government we didn't vote. Yay! As you can probably tell I'm one of the 1,617,989 who voted Yes for Independence. 45% turned out to vote yes. 10% difference.

Of course they are those who wave the No flag who last night went around doing Nazi statues, trying to burn down the Herald, attacking people and just generally doing terrible things. Of course since they've been burning Scotland flags we know they not actually Scots because who the fuck burns their own god damn flag. What the hell would they have done if we had gone Independent?

The news apparently hasn't reporting it at all, because who the hell reports riots anymore.

I'm going to go now because I can't think of anything positive  to write or feel at all like trying to be positive at all. Everything just going to be the shitty same with the EU membership in question, NHS being slowly sold piece by piece and the Tories in fucking charge who would sell Scotland to China if they thought they would get away with it.

I have I mention that our vote hasn't matter in general election in at least 30 years. We never even got  Labour voted in (which a lot of us won't be trying doing again). I could on a rant about how this might be worse thing Scotland ever done. However, I got a personal statement to write before we  lose our free tuition.