Wednesday 29 November 2017

Book Review: Kid Swap by Michael Lawrence

I hated this book. I hate people who condescending to kids this does both.

Jiggy is horrified to hear that his parents have signed him up for a reality TV show called Kid Swap. He is to move in with another family and everything he does will be filmed. Sadly, most of what he does while the camera is pointing his way is not the kind of thing he wants to share with millions of total strangers. 

And then, on top of it all, there's his bizarre skin problem...

Find out how Jiggy copes with TV fame and
flick the pages for a disgusting dinner!

My little brother had been moaning about his English Homework for months. At first, I thought he was exaggerating but then I read it. It was terrible. It has no plot, it has no character developed and lacks entertainment valve. Then there's the 23-year-old women flirting with 13-year-old. I have nothing positive to say about this book. It's lazy and has dated horribly since 2008 release date. Michael Lawerence doesn't appear to have written anything else since this series ended. Probably for the better but I doubt Lawerence put any effect into this book.

The main character is unlikable twat at the age of 13. His dad is out of work, his mum is pregnant. They want him to do this show for the money, he's mad about it because he thinks be made fools of so does everything possible to be made a fool of. No one comes as likable or real people. His family and friends all say that the kid he swaps with is better than him. There's also this weird thing of Earth-saniser which are the opposite of vegetarian in that they only meat as the Earth is dirty. This is mainly dumb as that means they survive only on protein and fat, missing out every other core food group. I know Lawerence did this for a laugh and therefore think of what realistically they be eating, which just be meat. Should their vegetarian and clothes be made from bones and plastic? The dad of the family is a doctor of some kind and their kids seem to be healthy taking only vitamins (which sources must be of the Earth. One way or another).  But the main character develops a terrible skin problem because humour.

Like I have hinted at this book contains things I would not want my 13 yr old brother to read without me telling him that is fucked up. He basically knew already but kids' knowledge and wisdom varies so much. My little brother does dumb shit all the time because he's 13 and media is such a dangerous tool at that age. First chapter has a sex change joke, that is if the show was called Gender Swap, he would have to have a surgery to be a girl. This is a dad joke written by 60 something man in 2008, so it just part of it that badly dates it as nothing else said about Trans people and this show was probably made at the time. There was one about swapping races. There's an unnecessary fat joke when Jiggy wears giant swimming trunks. Why don't just have him worn the dad's and have the same effect. Though it's a scene that realistically would never make tv because even then that's a naked minor. It would have to be blurred, they would still have gotten shit for having shown that. The main thing is that the Director's assistant (no title is actually given) flirts with 13-year-old boy to get him to comply with the show. This made worse with being in his head. He somehow thinks she 17 when of course she can't be. The thing ends when Jiggy finds out she 23 and is dating the director. Like this is all for laughs when she 23 and knows what she is doing. It is gross but mostly messed up that it's played as a joke when even then there was a problem of children being groomed and ending up in dangerous situation, we know this more now, but it was a known thing at the time. Sure, all she is doing is getting him to humiliated himself but storylines like this have to be dealt with better. Even in 2008, I don't think there's an excuse. It is another thing that dates this book, but I don't think it would get published with all the Scandals that have come out of the entrainment system. Though, even now male victims are not taken seriously as they should be, and people like to deny that women predators do exist. They like to deny the males as well. People suck. 

This book has an interesting idea, but it's waste within this series. The book I read from didn't make clear that it was part of a going series which would have made it a bad idea to do a school project on with only 20 minutes to pick a book to nine pages of work on. But hey maybe that just a bad thing to ask a class of 12/13-year-olds to do on a random book with no guidance. (I'm kinda annoyed at my little brother's English teacher, mainly because he told me the Amazon reviews are positively when there is one that from 2015 saying it the worst book they've ever read. 

There is now two out of 15. The better argument is that it has 85 ratings on Goodreads with an avenge rating of 3.86 stars (which was probably higher till I rated it)).  This is book is just a series of events that go no way despite having two places for a climax. As part of my brother's homework we read each chapter together and he was to summaries and rate the excitement of each chapter. All 23 of them. So, I have analysed this book more than it was ever meant to be. But nothing happens to carry on the plot in a lot of chapters. Another highlight is when Jiggy befriends a bunny obviously meant for Dinner for it to be finally killed and served several chapters later. My favourite has to be when an elf randomly shows up to offer the boy Jiggy swaps with the perfect life because he's good, smart and born rich. Like why would a magical creature would do that. If it meant to be commentary on the upper class having everything, then you missed the beat. The Elf might have been less jarring if had read the other books in the series with such titles as "", "" and "". So first show of magical in the book, but not in the series. Still just random as fuck. The plot is just Random as Fuck.

Normally I don't swear in reviews of books where no swearing as appears but 13 yrs swear all the time, this is 10 old book that should probably be forgotten, and I feel like it as its a descriptive word.

Overall, I give this book 1/5 stars for Sexual Manipulation of all ages. I just hate this book, I think some of my anger is more directed at my little brother's English teacher because I had spent hours trying to work from this book to help my little brother learn something. Not that is English teacher seems to care if that was possible. He also mocks my brother's reading ability whose Autistic and Dyslexic, so I really dislike him, and this review is for you Brendan from someone whose Autistic and Dyslexic that knows what it like to put up with Ablelist teachers throughout high school that don't want to do their jobs. Frankly, I think it was ridiculous to let any kid to do for so long without feedback and I don't believe for one second you would have let him changes books without my mother's complaints. Though, I am angry with how stupid this book is. Kids ain't idiots. There are good books for this age group and reading level. Does this book have positive reviews, yes, do I think they thought about it for any length no. Also, Twilight, 50 shades of Grey all have positive reviews so that means nothing.