I've been thinking about my oldest brother lately which isn't surprising. A date has been set for when he goes into the ground. Good thing, we're not Jewish because it's taken several sunsets. Who knows what we actually use to believe.
A Catholic service is about as comforting as slapping when you don't believe in any of that crap, especially when it's a funeral for someone on the younger side. I just felt angry listening to all the shit and the main reason for having a Catholic funeral cannot be there for medical reasons.
All this crap about god being a shepherd. Well, if he has been shepherding my family, I would like a word about several things and that maybe he should invest in a sheepdog. So my thoughts through all the prays was about what a dick he is, which is probably the wrong attitude to have during a funeral. What is the right one, anger is meant to be one of the stages of grief but maybe you shouldn't be cursing god in a church.
I joke about not being able to say I'm Satanist because I'm not an atheist. I guess I believe in something, but I don't believe we will meet again in the same form. I definitely don't believe in Abrahamic faiths and their teachings at all. Mainly they mostly sexist and no one plays attention to the actual good ones. Got to have your super churches, while the poor starve.
Having a school next to church is quite awkward when leaving a funeral. They put him in the ground before my family got to the gravesite which is kinda shitty, especially as we were running early.
The priest seemed to rush through the service, which I guess a good thing because I was dreading the idea of giant service. There are no hymns during a covid funeral. Why do Catholics sit up and down so much? We do not appreciate it as disabled people.
I've not done much recently, barely read but I have finished watching Murder, She Wrote except for the films. I've watched all of Hannibal in the last week, would have been quicker than that but I wanted to read fanfiction. Reading early fanfiction before a series is finished, Now I'm wondering what if Jessica Fetcher was Hannibal? Maybe she secretly is. I've been thinking about the murder statics around Jessica as I watch all 12 seasons. I had thought about doing vlogmas. I have several videos that I want to see the light of sitting unedited.
This post probably be very different if I had finished writing three week ago instead of now.
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