Ashleigh Walker is in Love.
You know the feeling - that intense, heart-racing, all-consumiing emotion that can only come with first love. It's enough to stop her worring about bad grades at college. Enough to distract her from her parents' marriage troubles.
There's just one thing bothering her...
Shouldn't it be her boyfriend, Dylan, who makes her feel this way, not Miss Murrary, her English teacher?
| The author started writing this book fifteen years before it was published, meaning starting it in the early 00s and it shows. Especially as it starts with 'I'm not like Other girls' trope: "Actually, wait up a second, I'd better get something straight here, just in case I'm giving the wrong impression. I'm not one of those brain-dead bimbos who talks about boys and make-up all time." There is some girl hate in this book, as well as the main character being overwhelming jealous. I read Haunt Me by Kesser and didn't like it much. It felt old school YA, but in a bad way. It tried, but I didn't think I would pick Kessler up again but this was a Queer book I found in the library and it had 'read' and 'book' in the title so I decided to try again with Kessler. There's a first time sex scene in this, not queer. It's the standard heterosexual stick it in and call it 'sex'. I just wish there's was YA book out there, that didn't have a sex scene where it's just dry penetration, something to break the myth that your first time should hurt and that doesn't mean you're doing it wrong. It's normal to do sex badly the first time but remember kids, no matter what or how, if penetrating, always prepare and use lube, from the virgin thirteen-year-old who knows more about sex ed than she might ever use. I'm pro-sex scenes in YA, not excessive, but enough to show what normal healthy sex should be like, so they know enough to use a condom. This book also has a pregnancy scare in this book, which is the universal uterus having experience, because who hasn't thought: "Maybe I'm the next Virgin Mary". I guess this done realistically, except that's ends in period happening and that could just be spoting so Ash could be pregnant at the end of the book and just not know it as she never takes a pregnancy test and pregnancy are each unique angels. This book starts in September I think, her period is late during the Christmas holidays so it must have happened in November. Exam results are in August. Okay, so probably not secretly pregnant but what a way to end a book that would have been. Which brings us to another problem this novel has. This novel feels very disjointed, especially in Part three which feels like five epilogues in a role, then some plot, then just ends. It feels like it needed another hundred pages to smooth it out, but I also might have given up if there had been another hundred. This a school year in life of book, but we jump around a lot, not a smooth course through the year. On the pluses, it's own voices and it's queer. Besides, some mild girl hating this novel was okay. It has the typical It got better than first few chapters. I actually almost returned this to library unread due to the first chapter and the way the characters were introduced. I neither regret reading it or would have regretted never reading. If this book has been released during original conception then it would have stood out but frankly, in 2020, there are tons of better Queer girl books out there. The teacher crush is part of Ashleigh discovering her sexuality and is acknowledged by Miss Murary but nothing really happens if you're looking for a scandalising read, this is not that, which I'm fine with. I know some people like reading teacher-student books, but I'm not here for abuse of power stories unless it confirms the teacher being in the wrong and not romanised. |
It also attempts to tackle divorce, which involved the parents arguing all the time and being unbearable to live with, which is relatable. I can't actually think of YA book that deals with the parents divorcing during the book, a lot of have divorced set up before but usually, that's just an excuse to only have one parent around for the majority of the book.
Overall, I give this book 2/5 stars for Dated Lesbianism. If this book had been released during the 2000s then it would have stood out but frankly, in 2020, there are tons of better Queer girl books out there.
Read 4/5/2019, finished reviewing 15/1/2020 (I had written the majority but never put the finishing touches.
Quotes
Page 8, "Actually, wait up a second, I'd better get something straight here, just in case I'm giving the wrong impression. I'm not one of those brain-dead bimbos who talks about boys and make-up all time."
Page 178, "'What's GSOH?' Mum askes me,
'Good Sense of Humour. God, Mum everyone knows that!" Yeah, I have never seen that term before. Maybe exclusive to online dating.
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