My whole life is just a "However"

Its gonna be one of those depressy ranty I hate life sort of blog post this week. I'm sorry, I had this whole other thing plan, but that didn't work out all. I just couldn't writing anything creative.

I also don't feel perpendicular like reading. I've only been doing it since I'm that bored and its a form of procrastination.

I've been having odd notions (truths) lately again, such as that I'm that anti-social I don't even have friends online.

Though, seriously there only one person I'm remotely close to and I met her in real life but I haven't seen her over a year (and 4 days). I don't think we really talk online any more. Or maybe I'm just actually craving proper human contract. Who needs real friends when I have books?

God, I'm actually like Sherlock with the whole only one real friend thing. Fuck that depressing.

I'm not saying I want whole lot friends. I just want someone to hang out with and someone to bug into going to town. I have my family but thats not really the same thing. I just don't talk. People give me openings and I walk away from them. Partly because after six years of not really speaking I've got use to it and just don't understand how talking works. In theory I do, but even online I don't. Thats why I feel stupid commenting on things.

I've been stupidly buying again. I've decided that I'm going to act like I'm completely broke next month. That I don't have a penny to my name, because honestly I don't really. No more spending money on things that I don't need nor really want.  Sure, I like the sound of these books I've been buying

My life is such a tip and I'm one that whose made that way. I could blame my whole dyslexic/selective mutism/austism/whydon'tyoujuststoplyingtoeveryone but thats not going to help the situation.

I'm just a mess at the moment and I need someone to slap me or hug me who the fuck knows what actually going in my head. I know I'm just ignoring the things that need to be done.

Though, its not like this is a cry for help, because god knows if I thought if anyone (I know) would see this I wouldn't be posting it with something that clearly states my name.

Driving is no longer for the Youths

I have gave up my driving lessons. This is because I can't afford to drive. I can actually afford the lessons, but I'm no longer insured to drive because its frankly too expensive.  There also the cost of taking the theory and then the practical. I know I've already paid the fifty quid for my provisional. Well, I guess I have a ID for the sake of it.

I spend £80 every month for my lesson which actually quite cheap, but that 36.36% of all the money I get for my bursary. I've not give up completely on driving. I'm just disenchanted by it all.

Its annoys me so much that its Sexist to give women lower rates because in percentages woman are the safer driver, but it okay to be give young drive outrageous rates because theres a high percentage that says that Young people are worse drivers. If that sexism, then that must be ageism. Well, it doesn't take a genius to realise that Young Driver are always new driver and won't have the same experience as our non-young counterparts. Its not the fact that new driver that are getting (extremely) higher rates. Older new drivers are not given the same rates.

So basically, no one (unless your parents are loaded) will be able to afford to drive until they well into their twenties.

So thats what bugging me this week, we could take bets for next week.
Will it be rant, an odd piece of creative writing, book related or odd rambing because I couldn't think of a topic to write on.