Typewriter fun - My Dedication of Love to the Past of Writing

Haló, I'm now the proud owner of a Olympia SM9 typewriter. 

Isn't she beautiful?

I've got to say that while I love having this machine, the amount I'll actually use it is to be determined. Its in complete working order and I've have so far used to write nonsenical letters and the opening of a story idea, that is frankly quite confusing so far. I plan to write a horror story and see if it comes true. You know like in that Goosebumps book/episode "The Blob That Ate Everyone", I guess the boy is exactly like me. I love writing horror stories and I have a working computer and going to be getting my own laptop soon which was confirmed the same day as I got the typewriter. I actually brought the typewriter out of a charity shop, Caring for Carers, which money goes partly to the same charity thats giving me money towards a laptop. £15 to help others. 
I've wanted a typewriter for a while, for sentimental reasons really. All those great works that have been typed out on a typewriter, basically since the late 19th century. Also think I'm less likely to get distracted typing on a typewriter than if I was using a laptop/computer. It also might improve my typing as I won't have room to make mistakes. I actually seem to making more typing mistakes on my keyboard than I do on my typewriter as writing this.
I think I would like to at less write one chapter of every book I ever write on a typewriter, though I need to write a book first. 


Also why would a typewriter made in 1971 need a "at" symbol? Is two letter word too long to write every time, its not like "at" is used in most sentences. @?

Odd Reading Habits a.k.a I'm off patrolling the Streets of Chorley with a book in hand

Me, My Best Friend & of Course Brain Cox -Pict added 23.2.12

This was actually wrote on the 5th February, but as I will be visiting my Best Friend, Rose in England; to keep to the Saturday Update schedule, I've had to write it before. While England is not some far off land lacking connection to the outside world; her Internet is not that great and I would also like to spend as much time as possible with her whilst dress as Batwomen. She having, I mean had a Fancy dress party for 16th last night. Cult TV was the theme and the costumes were all wonderful *Nods straight faced*. I've decided I will keep wearing my Batman gear all day. Seriously, I'm taking my Batman pyjamas , my hoodie and Batgirl top. My purse/bag is Batman as well.  Yeah, kinda obsessed.
When this hits the wide web, I'll probably be slapping or trying to scar Rose using my nails. Its how I show affection. *smirks*

So back to the point of the blog:
  My reading habits which some might describe as odd or unusual are the following:

•  When I get I bored with the story of book or just a little bit restless I read out the words to keep focus. Thats not the odd part. I also sometimes sing it out or purposely read out the words in the wrong tone e.g. a random innocent part as though they were out of breath and sweaty *Suggestively waggles eyebrows* or sad/serious/action packed parts in overly happy high-pitched voice, so on. My family can probably hear me doing this, but they must just take it as me making more nonsensical noise. Like I've said before I'm Dyslexic and reading out the words does help me in someway. The odd way I do is just to amuse myself.
• I am somewhat restless at time and will randomly stand up, move about the room and then sit back down when I was. Often, forgetting if I've stood up for a reason. So I move about the room while reading, usually I read lying on my bed or move to my desk when I start to cramp. Though, I can ended up lying on the cold floor of my room, on the stairs with the steps sticking in my back. In all bizarre positions on the bed, even once tried reading with head hanging off the bed. 
• Most Dangerous of all I try to read while walking about. Pacing about my room while my dog follows my every move or all over the house and in the large Garden/farm land. I go for walks while reading all over the place. I even jump on my trampoline while trying to read. When I'm really engrossed in a book, I walk around school with my nose in between the pages between classes. The most stupidness part of this is, that even at the best of times I am as clumsy as hell: I walked into walls; lose my footing on steps; fall over furniture thats been in the same position for years and I am always coved in unexplained bruise as I'm so use to hurting myself that I don't really noticed anymore. I am actually quite good at recovery, I haven't actually hit the ground in over a year and that was because of the ice.

The Love of Books a.k.a avoiding the bitching

I was planing on writing about First Aid training I had on Wednesday, but I think I'd be better writing about that once I've competed the course. A lot of crap has happen since I posted my last blog; frankly I couldn't write about that without being bitchy. Let just say my school's House/Support Teachers should find other employment, because they centrally not suited to a caring role of any kind.

So for all the above reasons I figured I would write something about my love of books. I've always had a fascination over them and the written word. I know this goes all the way back to when I was toddler even. There's film of me excitingly flicking through the pages of a Winnie-Pool book what I'm told is my second Birthday, maybe Third. I learned to read early on. I know I could read when I was 3/4 years old, I know because I can remember it: I read my sister's school books. Some point during that year or when I got there I stopped being able to read those same pages. At 4 I could read, at 5 I couldn't, not even a tiny bit it seemed.

I have dyslexia (as said previous blog), though it doesn't explain what triggered me to take 10 steps back and recovery for 6 years.They such a thing as Alexia (acquired Dyslexia) where you stop being able to read due the brain being damaged. Though, that really only happens in adults. I don't remember any head injuries and I doubt my parents would hide something like that from me so I guess thats not what happen.  Maybe it was just the stress of school that built the wall. That way I use to visuallise why I couldn't read. There was wall blocking me from the words I needed, wanted so bad. The words would slowly climb over the wall and into my grasp until the wall began to crumble and now no longer sands.

The way I see my mind now is very badly organised, giant library. Full of information and fiction, it justs takes a while to find it some times. Some sections are better arranged than others.

Growing up all I wanted to do to be able to read and become a writer. I want to be able to write my own stories down so much. I've always been a story teller, when I couldn't write, I drew the story. I come up a million ideas a day for stories, though not all them a good. I hope to be a published writer someday. I would get so frustrated not being able to write or read. It was what I always wanted as kid. I would wish on stars to learn to read. A day I don't read or write is a wasted wish, I suppose. I have started to take reading for granted now, spelling still causes many a problem. I still appreciated it so much.

I relearned to read at 11, right before High School start. The First book I properly read after the six year gap was about a sick baby sheep. I read it all by myself, it must have been 15 pages long with pictures. I can now read over 600 pages in day if I have the time. That can be a whole book. I've been reading now for 6, 7 years I'm still doing my best to make up for wasted time. I will read all books, aimed all ages. Even the humble picture book are still a joy for me. 

The thing I think regret most about not being able to read, is that no one introduce me to comic books. Sure, I had came across the Beano but you can't really get the full joke from not being to read. Looking at the pictures of adult. The first comic I read was W.I.T.C.H, loved it. Hated the American Voices on the animation and the books redundant. Currently getting Batman Legends and recently DC Universe. My Graphic novel collection is mostly, okay completely made up of Batman, but he wonderful.

Next week my Odd Reading Habits (includes singing Murder scenes)

Applied to College (so what?)

As of last Monday, I have applied for two course at college (its the same college, though). Both are art/design based. However, I don't think I want to do anything with art any more, I think I just don't have the nack for it. Though, as my local colleges don't have any thing to do with English, Psychology or properly with Biology; its the best options as I can't go to Uni this year and I don't want to sit around doing nothing all year. I don't really need to go to college for Uni (if I pass all my Highers which I plan to do), it probably looked better that I did something. If I don't get in, I'll just work for the year and write that damn novel thats been in the back of my head for years.

It does bug me that I'm not going to uni (due to illness,family issues and my own idioticalness), but least hopeful I start Uni next year and 13 is my lucky number.

Wish me luck (if you want).

Family- Old Older Siblings

Had a double dose of Older old siblings. I have 5 older siblings in total with 4 that I refer as Old older sibling. Basically, this group are all 9 - 16 years older than me, while my Youngest Older sibling is only 2 years older (well, 21 months exactly) and we both still live at home. Today, it was the middle older sibs that came for a visit.

My oldest sister actually came yesterday and stay the night, while my Youngest Old brother (he older than all my sisters) has just came for today. They both completely have different views on family. Sis is very family ordinated while my brother frankly couldn't give a shit. He lies to us and visits in a three month bases avangly.

My mum would probably freak if she  saw I wrote this, but honestly it the truth. I don't care about my brother any more. He's hurt me too much for me to even attempt a relationship with him anymore. He criticized me for being myself. He basically said I was a Freak and a Fake. I'm not going to change for any one and I can't forgiven him when he won't even admit that he was in the wrong.

It not just the things he did to me, but the rest of my family, especially my mother. He been such an ungrateful bastard to her. Once, she went in hospital for major surgery and he didn't bother to visit her. However, if his wife family are even sightly ill a big fuss is made and its always nothing. Our mum is disabled and has to take painkillers every day. He doesn't even care.

I could really go on forever about what jackarse he is, but whats the point.

I said I would only give him his christmas gift, as this is the first time we've see him since November, if he got me something decent. It was only £2 Doctor Who magnet, it was still a gift I had brought him. He got me a purple hoodie with "I heart Vampires" on it. I know he never actually picked, she did. I gave him the double wrap, coated in tape on purpose gift and her nothing. Well, I haven't seen or heard from her in months after all.

I actually slept through most my sister's visit. Long week at school caught up with me, I know I see her before my next Birthday.

New Year Resolutions and Goals

I don't really have any proper ones Resolutions, maybe I guess to cut down on the chocolate. I eat way too much, can't be healthy. I have more like goals that I would like to accomplish. Four to be precisely:

1.To read a book a week or the equivalent (52 books). So far I'm keeping this, you can check if I keep it at Goodreads. There do this book challenge thing, where you pledge to read so many books in a year. (Link to mine http://www.goodreads.com/user_challenges/282991 ) If I do it it will be the most books I ever read in a year, but I'll be happy just to break my last record. Though, I never actually attempted to read a certain number in a year before, I've just been happy reading what ever I could get my hands on since I learn to read (6 years ago)
2.  To bloody write more, it feels like ever since I've wrote anything creative in a while and I miss it. I just been so stress and had a major case of writer's block. I've also had a hard time with keeping up with everything in my life, but I plan to stay out of bad habits. I would like have a novel done or at least near done by the end of this year. I also really want to take part in NaNoWriMo this year, I never had time last year. It be a good way of pushing myself.
3. I guess is part of writing more goal. I want to write some sort of blog every Saturday. No matter, how short. I just to put something out there every week.
4. I want to do well in my exams, I don't want to find myself in the same situation in August and failed all my exams. Though, I know I fell into bad habits again, but I feel my grasp is better than last year. I truly, believe I will do better this year, but I do need to kick my butt into gear.

So that basically my main hopes for this year. I know I'm not where I expected to be last year. I'm not at uni and I won't be next year, but I be in the positions to go the year next. I think the extra year at home will also put my parents at ease. They just not ready for me to leave and being told that I'm not ready all the time, I've start to believe it too. I can use this year to fully prepare myself and decided what I'm going to do and hopefully sort some of my issues. I know how life can be so unpredictable so I'm not going to stress so much anymore. I'm still going to try and aim high, however, I'm also going to make plans if things go wrong.

Anyway, it given me more experience that I can use to put into my stories -and hopefully a novel very soon-and by the end of this year and all the other bad years do I have a lot it.

The Joys of Dyslexia, Being a Young Carer and... Selective Mutism

I've known I have had Dyslexia since I was in Primary 4 (8 years old) and my mother was sure since Primary 2. Though, I never truly knew what it meant and for years I thought they were wrong since the letters didn't dance for me. No one had properly explained to me what it meant and what the symptoms were. When I finally look up the disorder, I realise it was obvious that I had it. I realise that the way my brain absorbed information and functioned as whole was what made me dyslexic or "Special". While I have over came the hurdle of reading (Though, I've gave up on the hurdles in PE), there will be stuff that probably will be issue for me for the rest of my life. I still have trouble telling the pasting of time; I'm incredibly clumsy and can't catch to save myself; I still to check my writing hand when some tells me to go left and I can't pronounce my favouritely, long words which is a pain in both Biology and English when I'm trying to show off. I also lean to the right and make contract with the wall often.
However, I can live with all this and having to always to double, double check my writing work. I have a whole bag of tricks to help me along. There are worse thing, even if it is tad ironic being Dyslexic Writer.
(For more information about the symptoms of Dylexia, this is a really good website: http://www.dyslexia.com/library/symptoms.htm)

Even within my own family, they are those who have things worse. I'm also one of the many Young Carers in Britain/World. I did have a had time accepting this since in my case things ain't at extremes and my story would never be Children in Need heart string pulling clip. I deal more with the emotional side and not having the same freedoms as other people my age. My mother, sister and little brother/nephew are all  disabled, but in almost completely different ways. My sister has been fighting for her whole life, having been born with non-functioning Kidneys. She was given mere weeks to live, but 20 years later she still around to argue with me and kick me off the computer (which is currently in her room). Yeah, we love each other and as close as can be.
She got a transplant when she was 4, but that's never the end of the story. She been on the blink of death and been times where she in & out the hospital for months. Though, she is thankfully, currently healthy. My mum is basically crippled and doesn't have a lot of energy anymore which makes my little brother being Autistic even more of a challenge, He can easily kick off and being around him almost always ends in a bruise. He does have his moments of loving behaviour.
As I said I'm not depended on too much and like most teenagers I could probably pull my weight more. My excuse is how stressfully exams and school is. I know, weak. Lucky enough, I'm getting support from the Princess Trust. It nice having to talk someone outside the family and without worrying about their reaction or feeling guilty about complaining.

I've also learn (it likely) I have Selective Mutism. This basically accounts for my trouble speaking at school and unfamiliar places. I basically speak fine when I'm comfortable within my situation and the people I'm with. For years my family and I, just thought I was extremely shy with people. I'm quite comfortable standing out from a crowd; for example having multi-coloured hair and wearing standout clothes...etc. I also like to perform and love singing (badly) in public. Finding out about Selective Mutism and that joke I'm mute has a line of truth could really improve things for me in school. Hopefully, it could mean teachers don't make such a big deal about me not responding to them. Having a name for something that just sounds nonsenical when I try to explain to people, about why I don't respond or talk to people, will be so much easier than just saying I can't/couldn't.

So basically, that what makes me a "Special" in the eyes of the school system and what I do my best to cope with. It does bring me down sometimes and I have fought with depression in the last year even, which was just so bad for my family. I'm still consider myself to be lucky and after all just breathing is a miracle.

Okay, that just too corny to end with. BOO!

Goodbye Illustration, I'll miss you Art

I decided to quit Art, though I am yet to tell anyone. It strange, I am a creative person and I know I can draw something to true level of realism. Its just -I think I've been living in a fantasy world. Sure, art is what I've always want to do; when I left Primary, I truly thought I would be at Art school by now. Repeating school and messing up my exams have gotten me in this situation, I had no idea was coming. Illustration did seem like the right thing for me. My life is over This chapter of my book is over.

It too late for art, I have done nothing for it. I'm too slow, I don't show a work ethic and my health currently wouldn't allow it. I guess writing will have to my creative field.