Book Review: Horowitz Horror by Anthony Horowitz

So we meet again Horowitz Horror, you'll find that I'm even more horrifying now.


Welcome to a strange and twisted world where the spooky, the shocking, and the positively petrifying are lurking just out of sight.

A bus ride home ... turns into your worst nightmare.
A quaint country cottage ... has a grisly secret.
A man returns from holiday ... with bubbling skin and bloodshot eyes.

Horowitz Horror. It's all around you. Alive. Waiting.

Enter if you dare.

Horowitz Horror is collection of short stories, that I think was originally released as 3 stories per book but I originally read these stories as Horowitz Horror and More Horowitz Horror.  They have recently been released as just one book under Horowitz Horror (and now I have to make the hard decision over whether I will eventually ended up with double of the first stories). Seeing all the stories in the library (leaving my own copy of first part of the stories on the shelve at home), I thought I would give a reread and see how compares now that I'm no longer fourteen. I remembered like half of them properly.


I'm just going to go through each story:

1. Bath Night: It is a story of a haunted bath which is a bit genius. The whole vulnerable aspect of bathing and being naked. This is one of my favourite story first time I read it, it still good but it doesn't really touch me that much anymore. Isabel parents buy a bath that she just doesn't like and blood appears in the water but her parents don't see it. I think Isabell might have something wrong with her as apparently after three days without having a proper bath (while still washing), she notablely smells. I'm actually glad I re-read this as I missed the big twist the first time I read it. 3/5 stars as it just not as good as I remembered.
2. Killer Camera: The whole magic evil camera is a bit of cliché in the horror world as its been around since camera were invented. Everyone done it in some way. This one is slightly different as we get the background as to how the camera got that way. 4/5 stars.
3. Light Moves: Staying in the world of haunted technologies. This story features a computer haunted by the ghost of a sport journalist. Lets just say this computer gives the best horse racing tips this side of the afterlife, which cause the main character, Henry to do some underaged betting and get himself in trouble. 5/5 stars as it actually has good twist.
4. The Night Bus: Okay, here's a favourite featuring a tour of  Graveyards. It basically a twist on the ghost train idea, I think. Nick and his brother Jeremy find themselves stuck in the middle of London on Halloween (most of the story actually takes place after midnight). I just love this story. I gave this 5/5 stars because it awesome.
5. Harriet's Horrible Dream: This is the first story of terrible person/child getting what they deserved. Basically, Harriet is spoiled little brat, has a dream that her father goes bankrupt and since they have no room for her, he sends her away in a van to a restaurant called Sweeney Been. I never really liked this story, nor do I understand why use kids who ain't fully grown. Less meat. I grave it 2/5 stars as I just don't care for it.
6. Scared: Scared is surprisingly not that scary.  Its kinda like a Twilight Zone ep. The main character gets lost in the country, he's a dick and likes causing fear in his peers. It all ends happily for his mum. 3/5 stars because cause getting lost in a field means little to someone always lived surrounded by green background. Though, its get a whole star for good use of irony.
7. A Career in Computer Games: This is not the best story involving computer games, no that title goes to a  Midnight Library story. It aright, it another bad kid getting their comeuppance and teaches the lesson of not signing legal things without reading it first. It also the only story involving aliens, possibly. I gave it 3/5 stars for cone men on motorbikes.
8. The Man with the Yellow Face: A sexy young lad (this was originally written in 1999 btw) takes a photos of himself in mysterious photo booth in a train station. This is written first-person as reflection. With this reflectiveness you can feel what coming but its too much of a spoiler even to hint or joke about what happens. I gave 5/5 for a sexy train.
9. The Monkey's Ear: This is an amusing twist on the monkey fist story. You got dislikeable parents with their son Bart (not confuse with the one from Springfield) in a foreign market. Bart demands that his parents buy him a Monkey Ear which grants 4 wishes. As always these wishes goes astray and disaster is ensured. 5/5 stars for terrible parenting. This was where the first book ended and it was actually quite a strong ending, so good Editor choice there I guess.
10. The Hitchhiker: Okay, so now we're on to More Horror. I just want to say that I always thought the stories in More Horror were better. The Hitchhiker is clearly inspired by known stories but is meant to be a twist on them. Not sure how really talk about this without spoilering this story as it actually pretty simple plot.  4/5 stars for creative death method.
11. The Sound of Murder: This was my favourite story in More Horror. It actually pretty scary (in comparison) and comes in sort of chapters. I actually remember going to read it in Horowitz Horror (which I own) and realising that in it was in the other one (which I read from the school library). The main character Kate has been mostly deaf since birth and wears a hearing ad. Her hearing ad begins to play on up on the first day of term around her new teacher. She soon realises she can hear his thoughts. Kate only solution is to prove what he's thinking. I loved this story the first time and I still do. I gave it 5/5 stars for the Deaf hearing what others can't.
12.  Burnt: This is probably the most horror-frying (puns are so fun) of the stories. It involves no supernatural stuff and the main character is really just a witness to the horror. Its also in diary format and features Anthony Horrowitz's sons (seriously, I went WTF and checked). It another thing I miss when I read it the first time, it's not totally obvious, its just I happen to know something about Anthony Horowitz when these two kids said what their parents did, I went wait a second and confirmed my suspicion. Got to love me, solely on the fact I spent so much time on a single piece of Trivia. Tim has been sent on holiday with his Aunt Sara (blood relation) and Uncle Nigel. Uncle Nigel is a piece of work and obsessed with gaining a tan. Yes, the horror-frying thing happens to him with irony ensured. 5/5 stars for descriptive skin rebelling.
13.  Flight 715: If you've ever seen Final Destination, its that if death doesn't show up for revenge but not. Judith has a nightmare about her impending flight home and has to decide what to do about it.  Quite good. 5/5 stars for ending being twisty. Okay, its actually just because it's set in Canada.
14. Howard's End: This is awesome, because it kinda plays on what hell actually means and what it would be like. I won't say more. 5/5 stars for fluffy clouds.
15. The lift: This is quite a weird one, meaning that written from the sort of point of view of a retiring detective investigating his last case (You just couldn't stay away, could ya Horowitz?). I never brought into this story, just seems too unrealistic and it another one where the bad boy gets what he deserves for being an arse but with cannibals this time. Wait, we've had a bad kid and cannibals before. 3/5 stars for middle-age men.
16. The Phone Goes Dead: David's dad buys him a used mobile phone where the past owner died holding it causing some ghostly callers. Not much else to say, the ending does leave you thinking. I give it 4/5 for island streets.
17. Twist Cottage: Our last "Horowitz" story. This story involves a haunted cottage, sadly there wasn't really a twist to this story. What a waste of a title? Its also evil(ish) stepmother, sad father and unrealistic relationship. I never really understood why he married her or why she married him. Basically, it's hinted that she only went to uni, doing a course for a subject she didn't like to marry a professor. Most professors don't make that much money, I mean if I was gonna go digging, I wouldn't go there. I gave it 4/5 stars as it is actually quite good.
18. The Shortest Horror Story Ever Written: I'm not going to rate this as it not much of a story. I've just got to say, its either taking a while to get to me or they don't count library books as I've only ever read this story in lib books.

Overall, my only problem with this is that its a bit too middle class. Like it seems that the only non-middle class kids in this, are bad, which of course is sending a bad message. Though, if you've ever heard Anthony Horowitz talk, it petty obvious which class he is in so it probably just writing what he knows. I give this 5/5 stars for being as non-scary as I remember.

Teenhood is going to leave me

So I only have a week left as a teenager.

Maybe that why's I've been down recently, I mean subconsciously. Its the whole not being where I thought I be. However, I didn't really know what I want to do.

I mean, I do. I want to be a writer. Writer is what I am. What I want to be is: A published writer, one that gets/or makes money off their writing. I have ads on here but have never made off here. I make like 50p month off my Booktube channel.

I broke right now by the way.

So nothing about my mysterious future, lets talk about my actual terrible time as a teenager.

Okay, it wasn't all that terrible. But it wasn't that happy and my strongest memories are the sort of terrible ones.

My school career offically became a pile of crap. I didn't get to do the choices I wanted, never doing chemistry has really always haunted me and majorly fucked up my (first) 6th year. I also had the depressing experinces of repeating 6th year. I shall forever be able to lie to Americans about going to Hogwarts. Get it, 7th year.

I had horrible house teachers, that should know they both suck at their jobs. The teachers who actually taught me were pity good. All my biology teachers were awesome. English always taught me something and I can write a good essay even if they did just ignore creative writing.

I ended being rather disillusion with the education systems as no one ever gave a fuck about individual stunet. You either do it now, or fuck off because they was no way they were going actually try and improve you. I guess as Dyslexic with obvious signs of possible being Austic/sectively mute (I'm not going near that mess at the moment) High school was never going to be totally happy experince.

Generally, I was never all that happy in my current location where I spent the whole of my teenage years. I made few friends and frankly any one with brain eventually leaves this place even if they ended up back here. I just think I really need to leave. Goal for the past four years.

Cool stuff I did as a teen:
I went to Florida two times in that time. I saw My Chemical Romance and Fall Out Boy, I went to T in the Park for the first time, I killed a guy, I got half way through a novel, I started 2 you tube channels that currently have roughly 50 subscribers after like 80 videos on each; I went on the run, I have managed to acquired a what could be called a library of books (over three hundred); it safe to say I've read over 240 books taking to count I only really start to count since 2011; I've change my mind about what I want to do with my life at least 5 times; I own two typewriters and have kept this blog going for over a year (even if I have lied about some the dates).

So some of that was a lie, guess which. That right I have yet to see Fall Out Boy in concert but you know that could happen now that appear to be back.

So that 7 years of my life is over, let just cry in corner about only being 10 years away from being 30.

Exams and No Longer Young (Carer)

So I got my exam results and I failed everything.

Okay, that's not true, but I wanted the opportunity to lie about my exam results since I was not able to do the fake in real life. Because my parents knew my results before me.  Thanks MySQA, though it is sort of my vault since I should have change the phone number. Basically, my father and I swapped sim cards therefore phone numbers. Having signed up for MySQA  last year and never changing the number. My dad (who never uses his phone) got a text message that contend my exam results. He open it, then went on to tell my mother and after I told them I don't want to know, they told me.

So you're thinking this is where I'm going to tell you, but I'm not since I'm trying to build tension. Though, probably quite badly. So my results went like this.

Higher Biology- B
Higher English- B
Higher Maths- B

To see me opening the Result letter go here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZglF2qQb3iI&feature=plcp

Not that impressive and my mother persistence that it is, is just rather annoying. I have five Highers at B grade, but that's over 3 years which works out as being average of 1.6667 per year. Not at all impressive. No matter how good the sob story most universities will look at my grades and straight up reject me. Even if I had got five Bs in one year, that not good enough either. They want As. My mother doesn't understand that. They basically nothing I can with my Highers when it comes to Uni.

Glad I got a B in English since it was some what in doubt if I would get it.

Other big news of the week is that I'm no longer a Young Carer apparently. I knew you were old once you hit 19, mum lied to me. What I really mean is that I'm no longer part of the YC group. I went on day trip with them on Tuesday which I like to refer as Three Bs, Three bike falls day, since I got my results and fell of a mountain bike three times. I like the Lazer tag, though painballs would have made it more extreme. Rest of was just bah and pain.

I basically fell off a mountain bike at speed three times. Hurting myself the worse the last time. Yay for bruises. It does actually hurt to walk and I also think I might have done something to my knee that only coming out to play today. I did scape my arms a bite and I bruised my palms.

I've got to say I'm loving the patterns. I feel crazy art brewing.

On Thursday, had my last one to one meeting thing with my (former) link...support...something worker... Yeah, no longer young carer, so I take that means I can go around saying I'm auld.

So this week has just me feeling old and sore. The future looks so bright right now.

Camp NaNoWriMO FINAL DAY (Butlins Damn you)

Ticket Winnings:Its for my little brother

Today is the last Day of Camp NaNoWriMo, isn't it so sad? Especially if you still haven't finish your novel and have over two thousand words to go.
As I said I was on holiday last week, which was "FUN". Okay, it wasn't that bad, I had all right time and won all this cool stuff (That Youtube won't let me share with you) from the arcade . I'm not sure if I have that much to say about the holiday, it wasn't one of those full of adventure and experiences. I did get tipsy for the first time and realise that alcohol is boring. No interest in it at all. Though, I'm sure my siblings will have something to say about that.

This was murder to get(from a2p machine)

Notepads double as  photo/sibling shields

As for the writing, that was a challenge. I did write during the first few nights and in the car journey down. I actually wrote while we at this disco/show thing. So was kinda good considering, though I was still terribly behind when I got on home at 5 am last Monday. I'm not saying what my current word count is, but I will say its not finish and I don't think it will be until next week.

Other thing that happen to me this week is, that I officially left school yesterday. Really it was me signing out, because you need to or you're officially remain in High School forever which is a lot bullshit. I think they do it to mess with us.
I've actually been avoiding doing it for some time, after 5th June since it just sound so awkward and it really was.

It be the last night I'll get to wandered around CDHS, unless I become a teacher or a parent like my mum, Who tag along to my signing fun, which involved going to each of my teacher's this year and getting them to sign a bit of paper saying that I currently haven't stole, er borrowed anything without returning it. Jokes on them, I still have a textbook which I have no intentions of returning and the teacher already signed my form *evil laugh insert here*.

I chit chatted with most of my teachers when I saw them, I actually was part of a one sided conversation with my maths teacher from SG. Who was obsessed with the notion of taking over the world as being a career choice and money being the main motive. I should have told him I was going to be studying an art subject at college and I don't see much money in my near future.

All my teachers, except for my art teacher who signed the form and I just left straight after, have been left with the impression that I'm going to become a writer. This mostly due my mum saying I'm going to be a "Famous Author" to my Maths and Biology teacher. My English teacher praised my writing and asked if I had ever tried/thought about to get any my stories published, I say no since I had nothing in my opinion that is publishable yet. She said my writing was good (though to my knowledge she only read my one or two of my stories) and should try to get published. She said to tell her/the school if I ever I do.

Oh, I already I have that fantasy of going back to shove my achievement in the supports' faces. I would just like say this comes from a small, bitter place inside me who feels confident about my writing. Unlike the rest of me who finds fault in most of it. Though seriously, if I ever did get published, I would offer the school a copy of my book for the library. It such a small town, that if/when I get a book with my name it on a shelve it would probably spread like fire. Maybe not, but I don't think it be some secret.

Maybe I'll be the only notable student on the school Wikipedia someday, LOL. Also To celebrate leaving school officially, I bought Playdough (well, my mum actually paid for it). Yeah, I got a toy for toddlers. Its the artist in me that wanted it.

Well that all for this week, I'm going to T-in-The-Park next week for the first time (Exciting and scary), so it be another pre-written post next week. Not sure yet what it'll be about. I know Dinosaurs.
I'm off to jump in the dark now, thanks for reading.

Why studying English isn't for all book lovers

While I'm out of the country (once again, I'm actually in England which currently is technically not another country, but it is) and no guaranteed internet, I leave you with my reflection of the topic of doing a degree in English.

This was something I truly thought about doing, I actually got a conditional from University of Dundee to do Psychology/English, so why I am not at Dundee? (Mainly because it summer, really) Because I knew I won't get the grades to do it and was correct. Still felt horrible when I pressed the decline button on UCAS track. I failed all my subjects except for that lousy B in Art. This year I thought about applying to do English again, but realised Dundee was only place that would take me. It was only place I wanted to go anyway, but Art was also calling. Yeah and we know how that turned out.

I love books, I truly do, I love writing, I even love how complex the English Language can be, but there something about studying the art subjects that destroys them. This is also referring once again to my horrible art experience, by the time I was kicked out of Art I was ready to throw out all my pencils and burned all that remained of all the pieces I did for it. Part of me, still wants to burn that blue butterfly, even though it took me months and worked out petty good.


Back to English, I think tearing apart books can ruin them, I quite enjoyed reading 'How to kill a Mockingbird'. However, I remember after studying it I never wanted to see or hear about it again. Three years later, I don't feel the same. Still probably won't reread it. Three times was enough.

Loving books doesn't automatic make you good at understanding their deeper meanings. I mean, I have got better at this, when reading great work of literature. I'm probably far better than I was a year ago. Also sometimes they just don't have some great meaning, sometimes they just great reads. Though, most of my favourites do have that deep meaning.

Another big factor with Studying English, is that there no real path afterwards. Most need further training afterwards. I know, that I would probably do anything to avoid a proper office job. That's why science currently my favourite pathway.

My main issue with English is that I'm Dyslexic and I've only been reading for eight years and most Universities are not willing to cut you any slack for this. I probably couldn't get into any Uni in Scotland but Dundee (why do St. Andy want French?)  Its a great Uni so who really cares.

Its funny, in all the different course I thought about applying to I always end up at Uni of Dundee.

Okay, this wasn't that detailed, but mainly dealt with the reasons it wasn't right for me.

Goodbye High School (My Seven years of Hell)

So yesterday was my last day of Secondary school and my 19th birthday. It made me consider what the hell I'm doing with my life; in the normal mental melt down type of consider.

Okay, mental melt down is a bit of exaggeration, but it did make me think about what I'm planning to do and the limitation I'm facing. I don't think it normal to cry on your birthday typically (when you're still in your teens). As I've wrote before I've had many problems with school over the years and applying to uni: this is where most of my limitation come from.

My problem is I can't really decided what I want to do. There a lot of things I'm good at. Art, science and writing. What I really want to be is Leonardo Da Vinci, paint and do sciencey things. However, the structure of learning now a days is more strict. I suppose it always has been, but people wouldn't be that happy if you just showed up at the dissection of a human cadaver now.

Going to do Visual Communication after the summer, but the more I think about it I feel less confident about the idea of pursuing Art/Design. At this point I feel biology would the better route for me to take in some form. The only problem with that is the best course are looking for Higher Chemistry, which I never got to take due to the school's meddling. Its always haunt me that they never let me take it at SG level. I would have been so far better off if they had just left me at my own devices.

I think yesterday episode was built up from stress over exams and everyone asking where I was going after the summer. My answer wasn't the one I wanted to be giving. As my mum keeps telling me I'm only 19 and I still have time to do what I want hopefully. With all that said, All time low's "weightless" petty much describe how I'm feeling at the moment.

So I'm off to study so I can hopefully pull two As and B out of my brain on the days. Also trying not to worry about how unrealistic that might be, but then how I have the potential as well.

Last year as a teen (I'm getting old)

My two last posts have been utter nonsense, I blame the holidays. Well, I'm back at school now.

Through several things being illuminated this past week, a slap of morality has occur. It not really that I fear death, more of ageing and changing side of it.

I've will be experiencing my last day of school on my 19th Birthday in two weeks time yesterday. If you don't know what to do with that information, you're in the same boat as me. It won't be my official leaving date, but it will my last day of classes. I won't see most my year/anyone from my school after this. I'm not properly friends with any of them, so no reason to see them. That probably kinda sad to most people. It not that I never made any friends while at school, it just they left before I did and I never replaced them. It doesn't seem that sad I could say the same about my original year. Repeating 6th year didn't really change how it would end. It will end with the same awkwardness of everyone saying goodbye to each other and no one feeling the urge to do so to me. I'm fine with this, mainly since I have form no strong bonds with anyone. No one whose been fragment of my life will I be changing paths with. My best friend at school this year has been books.

They've been a good friend other years as well, I've never been bother by only being seen with a book. I gained the amusing story of my Deputy Head telling me that he was reading "Twilight" (Yes, the fairy Meyerpires) when he saw a book in my hands and thought it was Twilight, even if I normally talked I wouldn't have know how to responded to that. In his defence he is an English teacher.

My birthday isn't really a big change, by turning 19 I'll be gaining nothing or even a step closer to something. Even with being 18 I haven't really used that new gained freedom of buying liquor or going to r-rated movies. It just a sign that I'm a year older and that I should start to act like a mature adult. Okay, maybe just I should act more maturer. My eyesight getting worse on the plus side (sarcasm is also my friend).

Other stuff has happened, but I've decided not to shared that with the internet for time being since I haven't really decided how I feel about them yet.

Being Brave because you exist

Been randomly thinking about the situations we find ourselves in. I personally like to moan about my situation (a.k.a dyslexic writer and having constant unexplained pain) because it frankly occupies a lot of my mind. Though, complaining is my hobby, I am overly aware that things could be worse. Yay. Having met/came across many people who are in "difficult", unusual situations I have quite a view of this.

A thing that does bug me about our society is that we make heroes of the disabled and ill. Or anyone whose had a hard time and not just lie down and died. I'm not saying that's a bad thing necessary, but it can be annoying if someone acts as if it a miracle that you've managed to keep going. It almost as frustrating when people don't appreciate that you can't always be expected to follow the same rules as everyone else.

For example, being dyslexic it very unlikely you're be the world's best speller OR being a Young Carer its unlikely you're be at school every day or on time since things come up.

In my six years at my current school, my parents and I had to explain this basically every year when they started moaning about my attendance. Nothing had changed at home (for the better) so why would that?

I think there's whole lack of understanding, so you get people who think they're helping, being supportive and people who don't care to think. I think especially when you're born with something, or had to put up with it almost you're whole life you stop really noticing or not at all. Hospitals can be normal, pain daily life. It’s kind of like the whole don't know what you're missing thing. You've never experienced "normal", so you don't know what it’s like. Sure, you have the fantasy version and wonder "why you can't be like everyone else?".

When you have things thrust upon you, you either deal with it best you can or go hide in a cupboard of denial and self-pity. Often people need time to adjust and will eventually come out the cupboard. Maybe even go back in sometimes.

You're shouldn't tell people how they're feel. It isn't really brave to deal with situation you’ve had no choice over it; you didn't choose to run into the burning building of life to save yourself. You're frankly had to.

Most people will end up sitting in building that's burning, until till they do, they won't understand why you're just covered in ash and not the ash yourself.

P.S. Not really sure where this came from, I’m not really in one of those situations consider brave, but I do have a sibling that sort of is. I never really understood the whole “Brave” view people took. Some people will possibly strongly disagree with me over this.

Last Parents' Evening. Also Braces go Bye Bye

On this previous Tuesday, at 4 past seven, I arrived at what will definitely be my last parents' evening, well until I become a parent or teacher (lol). Last year's was in November and at that point I had no real idea I would be repeating, that should have been my last. Don't remember much, just telling my English teacher at the time that I didn't like Shakespeare which she may not have directly said it, but she was appalled by this. Briefly went on how about how great he was, how so many experts love him and such nonsense. I still think he's an English Git who wrote the first Emo romance and is a history ignoring Bastard. I don't think my opinion of him is ever going to change. 
This year one was much more positive really and I'm in a much better place to pass. My mother and I arrived late for our first appointment. It was meant to be with my maths teacher, then English and Biology last. It of course didn't work out that way. Of all my parents' evenings, never once have we followed the appointment order. Frankly, no one really expects to. Making appointments just confirms that your parents will turn up at some point during the event, usually well after your appointment was meant to be.
 We first talk to my maths teacher at 7.10 slot instead of the intend 7.00. My maths teacher basically confirmed what I already knew. She said that I hold a better understanding of the course, though she also once said that you're don't to know why it works, just do (roughly along those lines). I told her I thought I had the potential for a B (leaving my A notion to myself) and she agreed with this estimation. She also said how my homework didn't always reflect my capable and I let myself down with this. My mother and I had brief discussion how my little brother had been playing up that week and that was my excuse for the last HW not being completely finished. I also shared with her my current revision plan of coping my notes; I personally I think this will help with the Objective Testing part of the exam. I mainly got from it that I have to ask for help. So the same as last year.
Shockingly, we actually saw my Biology teacher at the scheduled time of 7.20pm. As usual, it was the best out of them all. She said about how I got a B in my Prelim and how I could easily get an A. She said I had clearly been revising this year, I just smiled. Yes, I have revised more this year, but in honesty, Biology is kinda left at the side lines mostly.

Leaving the worst for last: English

It’s the most frustrating, it mocks me. I want to be a writer and I read all the time, but it’s my worst subject. It’s also the only subject I really need to pursue Illustration, haven't decided yet. I need a B, all my other subjects I'm getting that. So after waiting for about twenty minutes to see my English teacher, she  somehow turned my incredible failure of a prelim into a C grade and leaves me feeling rather positive. She basically said how my Prelim didn't reflect my ability as I did much better in class/HW. She said maybe it was scribe (I'm Dyslexic and I get extra time and scribe in all my necessary exams); I told her it wasn't and that I wouldn't feel conformable doing it myself on the actual exam with my tenancy to miss out words and writing nonsense when stressed. I told her I had only been reading for roughly seven years, my mother and her preceded to go about it taking me longer isn't that surprising. She said I would probably have to retake English to get that B. Also how good my folio was and that she enjoyed my short story. When I said I did read a lot, she said she knew, she could tell by vocabulary.

To end the blog, just want to say that I'll be getting my braces off this Monday. Goodbye being a walking Grater and I'll be able to run my tongue over my teeth again. I only have my weak eyes to go with my geek chic.

My Best Laid Schemes : My Endeavour into the World of College

Well, I had my interview for college and I did finish my portfolio (I never did the font/typography page, but I do plan to still glue that stuff down at some point) in time. It went okay, my mum came with me partly, did my speaking for finding out where to go and such. They took my photo before I was interview for my ID if I get in, it’s probably horrid. Forced my mum to go after that; she offered to stay with me, but there was no way I could do that, I have to learn to speak/do stuff myself. Basically we got a small tour, given a general talk and then got interviewed. We waited in one of the class rooms (I think that what they called it) and sat in silence, despite the encouragement of the Interviewer to talk to each other. I felt awkward and want to break the silence, but not being the sort of person to do so, it remained. I started to regret wearing my batgirl t-shirt under my dress top, you could clearly see her sticking out instead of potential cleavage and using my standard Batbag. I also hated the fact my portfolio was in a plastic see-through folder, you could see my work at one side, while everyone else were black and fabric. I'm going to buy one of them.

I was third to be interviewed, I fucked up the talking bit, I'm just not meant for speaking one to one with someone. I also realise that I can't tell if someone is talking to me, unless they specifically address me. I think most people can tell, maybe its because I look past people (I'll add that to the Autistic list).

She (the interviewer/Course Tutor person, I have a horrible memory) first ask me why I want to do the course, so I mumbled about having an interest in Illustration and kept repeating the word "but". What I wanted to say was I have an interest in Illustration, but I think it would be better to have some experience with Graphic Design.  So she moved on to my actual portfolio and discussed that. It was a lot easier to comment and communicate. I said pointless nonsense and I talked myself down; I said how things hadn't went my way with my Higher Expression/Self-portrait Unit, frankly I hate all my pieces for that unit except my solution. She asked if I was doing English, which I told her I was re-sitting and she said how it be good to have if I want to go to Uni (I already knew this, didn't say) but it didn't matter for the course. She said that my work was good/fine, don't remember her exact words, and that I had an Unconditional place for the course.

Yep, so I left the room some what happy and got lost trying to find my way out. Once, I had escape from the clutches of the almost empty building. I called my mum to tell her my good news (and to come get me), she was shopping and told me to call my dad, who once called asked if I had called mum, whom I told that I had and that she had told me to call him and they both, of course, said congratulations in their own ways. I then message my Best Friend who give me a cyber hug and for once I didn't cyber slap her for it.

I waited for my mum for roughly half a hour, my sister who was with her had thought she had lost her bank card and they had searched for it at the shops. It was in her back pocket, of course it was. While I waited I post cryptic messages (e.g. "Well, I know what I'm doing next year") on Facebook/Twitter. I didn't really want to tell anyone I had got in, not sure why.  My mum let it slip on facebook and I selectively told people in real-life, but technically this is the web announcement.  I had intended not telling my art teacher that I knew I got in, but I did ended up telling her. Though, I told Mrs B (Annoying Support teacher who featured in last week's blog) that I wouldn't know for two weeks. I doubt she'll directly ask again, but if she does, I'll tell her the same lie.

I also went on my last school trip this week. I went to see "Of Mice & Men" at The Lyceum Theatre in Edinburgh. It was good, but I just don't think its suits being a play and works better as a book. I(’m petty sure) was the only six year on the trip, I read mostly there and back with my ipod to protected me from my younger peers. We left at half hour and got back at half past midnight. It was very fitting to be my last school trip as school was a drama, left me up at night and exhausted.

As I've said many a time, I didn't expect to be here. I thought I would have been finishing my first year at Uni by this point and not heading towards college. I even said I didn’t want to do art any more, but I think that was due my lack of support on the matter and thinking I'm a crap drawer besides the evidence and testimony of expects (well, as expect as I've came across).

So to sum up this blog (somewhat my life so far): I'll be doing Visual Communication HNC next year, mainly due to the fact

"The best laid schemes o' mice an' men 
 Gang aft agley" 
Robert Burns.

Prelim Succes & Failures/I'll never be finished in time for stupid College

The brain is a funny thing.
This week, having completed and got the results back from my Prelims; I felt three things: Distort, Acceptance and Delight.

I've completely failed my English Prelim, getting a measly 21% for the whole thing. I don't care what my English teacher says getting 7/50 is something to worry about even if the upper Higher class did the same thing. Even if it was really hard, I can't justify that. Its less than 10 weeks until the English Exam. As for my essays I knew I had fucked them up the moment I realise I was writing shit in my "Incident" (by Norman MacCaig) Essay and gave up on "The Crucible" one. I have no idea what possessed me to do that one. I went in thinking. I'm going to do "The Cone-Gathers" and poetry. I didn't know enough of the "The Crucible" and I pick the wrong question for it. They was a better question above the one I chosen that mocked me after I had wrote too much to change. So I got 9 and a 5. They had to be the worst essays I've ever written. I had been showing some improvement.  I never knew you could get a 5.

As for Biology, I got a B with 71% which would be an A in the exam, but because the Prelim only contend Unit 1 & 2 the A mark was 75% instead of 70%. I can turn it into a A with the Unit 3 Prelim we're sit as soon we finish that Unit and do the Nab. I probably could have done better if I had studied instead have Procrastinated the night before. In my offence, I did go for Biology support the night before the Prelim. Even if I did leave early out of boredom and went to the Library.

Now Maths, I'm rather chuffed with. I got a B! Though, I only just with getting 60% and in the exam it usually ends up being 65% for a B. I was hoping for/thought I had a C. From this I have gain the want, the will to get an A in my exam. Just the idea of getting A with getting an F (I found out that I must have got less than 49%) in the exam last year, fills with glee at the contrast it would be. I now know I'm capable of it. In reality, I'll be a aiming for in 70% range, but I could hit 80.

It strangle though, that I'm getting Bs in all my subjects except for the one I need it in. If I do to pursue Illustration after this year out, then I'll need a B in it at least. I'm going to start studying like bad for all my subjects, instead of just thinking about it, I won't bother with Timetables, I'm just going to go for it.

Speaking of Illustration, my interview for college is this Tuesday. And my portfolio is not done. I have to mount everything for my Development and need to do something about this Solution. I also have to finish a Bat this weekend. I think my Art teacher has had enough of me, if her side re-marks about my lack of smiling are anything to go by.

But still the thing I'm most nervous about is the fact I have to Talk.  I DO NOT DO TALKING. I still don't really care if I get in and I know its not hard to do, get into college I mean, its just I get so worked up when I have to verbally communicate. I hate the thought of it.

Still the sooner I leave school the better. The sooner I don't have to deal with the heartless cows (C*nts really) of  my school house the better. They're meant to be support teachers, but they've done nothing but undermine me. As said to Mrs Bitch (as I like to call her) "Its not like you give a shit" which goes for both of them. I really wish I had called her a Heartless cow, instead of just thinking it. I know it bad to swear at teacher, especially when she threatening your EMA, it have would felt so good. Maybe, on my proper last day, I will go say to her and fulfil the fantasy of hundreds and tell her exactly what I think of her.

What she gonna do? Withdraw her non-existent Reference?

I'll blame the (suspected) Autism and my "strong sense of Justice".

P.S. Wow, thats a long post and a "strong sense of Justice" is a symptom of Dyslexia.

I'm so very different from them More like Walking Cliché

This may be a weird notion, but the thought came to me this week, while I was laying about. Am I cliché? I strive so much to be different, be weird and consider odd by the outside world. Does this in fact make me a cliché?

I'm a "Torment Soul" (according to most people I must think my parents don't love as much as my sick siblings or give me enough attention. They love me fine, thank you very much and I don't want them playing enough attention to notice the bodies) with a difficult and complex background who escapes into the world of art, music and books. I want, have wanted to be a writer from a young age and always associated myself as being a goth with my love of horror and the macabre. I have few, almost seemly non-existent at school friends. Frankly, I can be quite the loner and go happy for days without any proper human contract.  Black is my main colour choice in most style choices with the usual splash of red or purple. I consider Midnight blue to be one of my favourite colours.

But does this all not make me the cliché odd girl sitting in the corner with a book? Sure, I'm only person in my school that matches all the above description, however, my school, my town, my contract with the world outside -unreachable from- my room is very, very small. Within the context of my family, six siblings and all; including my extended family I'm the weird one with my ever-changing-multicolour hair that goes well past my shoulders (actually it slightly goes past my bellybutton). Does that really make special, unique?

 Am I just a big hypocrite?

I do just want to be me, I don't try to be different from everyone. I've just always accept my own weirdness, I've basically been like since I was four years old, before I even known social norms. I don't believe in, refuse to change for anyone. Its just been bugging me recently. Does it really matter anyway?

What's normal anyho?

Applied to College (so what?)

As of last Monday, I have applied for two course at college (its the same college, though). Both are art/design based. However, I don't think I want to do anything with art any more, I think I just don't have the nack for it. Though, as my local colleges don't have any thing to do with English, Psychology or properly with Biology; its the best options as I can't go to Uni this year and I don't want to sit around doing nothing all year. I don't really need to go to college for Uni (if I pass all my Highers which I plan to do), it probably looked better that I did something. If I don't get in, I'll just work for the year and write that damn novel thats been in the back of my head for years.

It does bug me that I'm not going to uni (due to illness,family issues and my own idioticalness), but least hopeful I start Uni next year and 13 is my lucky number.

Wish me luck (if you want).