I've been buzy. So buzy that I thought I would write this post in third person so it would be sort of interesting. Instead you're getting excuses and another repost. Except this one is currently not online, because I took it down to work on it and maybe use it as Portifolio for English. I'm glad I didn't as it's not that good and I never thought a lot of stuff through. Also no one but me seems to point out when people write dumb science things down. There is a lot of cliché in this but I still like it despite it being a "CANCER STORY" and whilst cancer being diese a lot of people will be effected by whether having it themselves or a love one, it not wrote about well a lot. You should probably include me in that list.
As to why I have been busy comes down to the whole moving and starting uni thing. I've also been filming stuff and actually editing it into a video. I'm half way editing something about uni. Also I just straight up forgot that was meant to be finish the first chapter, till I went to bed on Friday. Sorry, that I went to see Inside Out instead of doing that today.
This story is sort of Prequel to a story, I wrote and lost due Mibba.com deleting people's stories for dumb reasons that they never gave decent warning about before they do it. Girl goes to dying Best Friend's party, runs from the party to cry in the glass of BF's garden. The main difference is this story has angel names. It was written for a contest with a angel theme.
Original Summery:
Amitiel is named after the Angel of Truth but all she gets is lies.
However, when she gets the truth from her best friend, she wishes it was
lies.
Written for A N G E L -- C O N T E S T
Word Count :1458
Angel: Amitiel - angel of truth
Today this day, I'm not sure if that's actually a girl's name. Also at this point I must not have realised that repetition is a bad thing unless intentional for a point.
I haven't really done anything to this story as it's been edited several times since it's original posting so let just enjoy seventeen-year-old-me's editing and younger-than-that's writing. I gave you...
The Truth Or Lies, It's the same Pain
Angel of Truth, HA.
My parents must have cursed me, to be forever denied of what the angel they
named me after stood for. In my short life of seventeen years, I have been lied
to more times than I can count. Usually by the most important people to me. My
mother lied to me when she said Santa was real, my father when he promised he'd
be back in an hour, but never step foot in the house again, that doctor when
she told me he'd pull through, my ex-best friend Claire when she said she
couldn't go to my birthday party because her mum was ill but in fact went to
Susan's party instead. All those lies, in such a short time. I thought he was
different, I guess I was wrong. Again.
My first love, he who filled me with such joy, light and made time stop just
with his eyes. But behind those eyes, there were a pile of lies. He who was my
first kiss,my first everything, was also my first taste of how cruel people can
really be. He lied to me, everyday from the beginning. He had blinded me with his god damn perfect smile
and fucking boyish looks. It was all a disguise, a hell of good one too. I
never expected, I never ever question any thing about him. Not the weekends he
couldn't see me, nor the constant ringing of his phone. The way he would get a
text and have to leave right that second without even a goodbye kiss. He played
me so well and I let him.
He broke my heart, ran off with the pieces and sold them on e-bay. He's left me
here with nothing but the memory of them laughing at me and them kissing with
their tongues all the way down each others throats. What did she have that I
didn't? Sure, she was blonde, rich and a bloody size zero but she still also
had the body of twelve year old boy. I had wasted so much time on liars and
cheats. It was time I got them all out my life. I had thought, I already had.
God, if this trend continue, it would turn out Anna actually doesn't have
cancer and it was all a sick joke. That would
be something I would love to find out wasn't true.
“Amitiel, I have something to tell you,” Anna said hiding from behind my
bedroom door, that I hadn't heard open. I had been hiding from the world for
about a week under a thick duvet. I only knew of the passing of time because my
mother had inform me of it this morning, before she left for work. I push the
duvet off my head and turned around to see only Anna's ocean eyes peaking from
behind the door, like a child waiting to be given in trouble. I sigh.
“Come in,” I see the lost sparkle in her eyes for moment, then it disappears.
Anna slowly comes in and shuts the door behind her. She so frail and pale
looking. Her sandy waves of hair were gone, her head now only covered by dark
blue scarf. The diamonds in her eyes, once permanent only visits briefly now.
As long as had know her, there had always been a sparkle in her eyes, even in
the serious of situations. But ever since she found out about the cancer in her
body, the sparkle has been slowly disappearing. I fear each passing day that
I'll never see it again. The phase 'too young to die' flashes in my mind. It
has too be the biggest lie of them all but the ones we tell ourselves usually
are.
Anna slowly makes her way to my bed as I sit myself up. She would have just ran
and jumped on me if she still had the strength. It breaks my heart to know that
her days really could be numbered. I'm not ready to accept that really they
are. I guess I'm happy to lie to myself but not for others to do the same. I
feel so selfish as I watch her struggle to walk the metre from the door to my
bed. I have all the time in the world to fall in love and get my heart broken
again, but Anna hasn't even fall yet and it seems time is running out for her.
“I'm sorry,” I say pathetically.
“What for? You've just had your heart broken by that jerk. I'd be in bed too if
I was you.”
You should be. She finally makes it to my bed and slowly sits down.
“Still, I could have been a better friend. You need me more than I ever needed
him,” She smiles, just a hint of that missing sparkle. “What is it you need to
tell me anyway?” I ask as I watch the spark disappear again.
“I...I don't want to tell you,” She speaks the words so slowly, pulling each
one apart so that they seem to be each a sentence on their own.
“Lets go out and have some fun,” She says cheerfully and I force a smile.
This is the first time I've left the house since he broke up with me, even
missing school to avoid him - and her. I don't really want to leave the house,
or even my room but I do so for Anna. I would do anything for her now. She
convinces me to go to the mall with her and get super sized blue slushie. Like
we always used to do before her cells turned against her. We're already on to our second slushies, by
the time I remember we're avoiding something. Something she doesn't want to
tell me, something I'm scared to find out. So I don't ask her what it is. So I
just joke and try to catch that sparkle I long to see.
Anna is still beautiful, even though she resembles death. She still has her
best features. She no longer has the long blond hair that I had been jealous
of, for as long as I can remember, but she still has her ocean eyes that were
beautiful without their sparkle and the dark lashes that by some miracle had
been black instead of blond, had just grew back, flaming them to perfection.
Her laugh still rang out like an angel catching you and making you laugh until
your ribs hunt. Why?
Why would something so horrible happen to such young, beautiful-inside and out-
person? The truth avoids me and only leaves me with theories of pain and hate
of an unfair world, created by a unkind God. She had been my best friend for so
long, I didn't know what I do without her and pray to that God that I never
have to find out.
It seemed that the mall shut too soon and kicked us out before we were finished
with our fun. I drove Anna home in my small, three door car that still remains
the colour of her eyes even at night. We sneak through the back door, even
though we know we've been seen, stealing the last of junk food from the kitchen
and returning to the backyard of our childhood. The sun is almost completely
gone from the sky. I hear her sigh beside me and look at a face drained of all
it's colour. She looks almost unrecognisable, so much older than her mere
seventeen years.
It's time to be told the truth, the truth I don't want and for once I long for
lies, but I know Anna was never good at lying or keeping things from me. So I
sigh with her and prepare for the worse.
“I need to tell you this, God knows I don't want to. I don't want it be true,”
The ocean begins to escape from her eyes. “It's not good, they say it didn't
work,” her waves of hair lost for nothing.
“Its spread.”
Those two unimportant, usually so harmless on their own but are now the
worse words in the world to me.
“They say they can only prevent...” Death, they can't stop it now, only
slow it down.
“I'm sorry,” I say as the first of many tears trickle down my face. We hug and
cry into each other, to release the grief. I moan the loss of a friend who will
soon leave me and she moans the life she'll never get to live. I miss the lies
and hate this truth. Lies protect you from pain, for wee while anyway. The
truth always comes out.
Santa not real, my dad never came back, never mind in an hour's time and he
didn't pull through. Claire wasn't my BFF, Alex never loved me and - I'll never
be Anna's bridesmaid. A child's promise broken and made a lie by Fate. Lies are
all I have.
Other's comments:
-This was really good - I love the concept of this, but there were a few
spelling errors that could be easily fixed (: That's all the
"constructive criticism" I have really. I love the girls' relationship,
even though Anna lied to Ami. This was really great (: Thanks so much
for entering and good luck! <3
-I like this story so far. Except for a few spelling errors, i don't really have any 'constructive criticism'. XD
Also someone told me they liked it and it was wrote as if English was a foreign language to me and that was a good thing. That comment has disappeared though.
My comment is that I remember it's worse and probably worse for me trying to worm out the bit with blonde hair person having black eyelashes. I should have just left the eyelash bit out all together as I'm not sure if they would have grown back at all at this point.
It's bit problematic with the description of the new girlfriend, but that what I was raised to believe other people thought about each other. Thanks Media. I also just love the phrase "First everything" and pretty sure that appears in other story I wrote at the time.
I will type to you soon. Till then what are your comments?