World is World

Black Lives Matter.

Even in a pandemic police brutality is still blatantly happening. I'm so awe of people who are risking their lives to go out and protest. It's amazing how willing the police are do bad things on live tv. 

This week has also been a lot for Autistic people as well. With a video of someone murdering their Autistic child floating around and a YouTubr "rehomed" her adopted son from China. People are defending the last one, but she knew he was brain-damaged and delayed, meaning that he was always going to need more support. She knew what she was taking on, even if she didn't, nothing is granted when you choose to have a child. 

I was thinking of doing Pride videos but doesn't feel right with everything going on. I think its fine still to be making fun content as people should also be taking breaks during this time, because you don't get mental exhaustion. 

On the brighter side, I should definitely be an Aunt again, by this time next week. 

Book Review: Camp by L. C. Rosen

I feel bad because Camp is cancelled.

Sixteen-year-old Randy Kapplehoff loves spending the summer at Camp Outland, a camp for queer teens. It's where he met his best friends. It's where he takes to the stage in the big musical. And it's where he fell for Hudson Aaronson-Lim - who's only into straight-acting guys and barely knows not-at-all-straight-acting Randy even exists.

This year, though, it's going to be different. Randy has reinvented himself as 'Del' - buff, masculine and on the market. Even if it means giving up show tunes, nail polish and his unicorn bedsheets, he's determined to get Hudson to fall for him.

But as he and Hudson grow closer, Randy has to ask himself how much is he willing to change for love. And is it really love anyway, if Hudson doesn't know who he truly is?

I didn't read the summary of this book before reading it. I requested it solely on it being Gay and set at summer camp. A Queer Summer camp. So I was immediately turned off by Randy having changed himself completely for a guy. Queer people do have to change ourself around people for safety reasons, but doing it at the ultimate safe place was painful. It's handled well, and everyone around Randy tells him that this is a terrible idea. Its definitely a teenager's plan of rom-com.

The book is told in first person pov of view of Randy, during the current and past summers so we do get a glimpse to what made Randy decide to go to this extreme to impress a boy.

I love all the characters and how Queer they all are. We have gay, demisexual, Asexual, Trans binary and non-binary characters. It's really nice and great. As demisexual person, I would say the rep for demi and ace was good. It was minor because they not the main character but what was said was accurate and also two Ace people living their lives, who do contribute to the story. The supporting characters are well developed outside of their gender and sexuality as well. I can't actually decide who my favourite one is.

I'm also very jealous of a musical that doesn't care about casting for gender. I've read a few YA books lately that heavy feature musicals, this was the one that felt the most genuine. It also really captures the chaos of musical productions

This novel also deals with internal homophobia and toxic masculinity. This something I've never dealt with (I just didn't have the words for my deal was), but I sure did cry a lot through those scenes. There's a lot of love and fun in this book, but there's is also a lot of serious talks because being a Queer person even in 2020s western society is not easy.

This is on the older side of YA because does have sexual scenes, but it does demonstrate safe sex. Ideally, teenagers should wait till they're 25 and their brains have stopped developing but highly unrealistic even to wait till they're 18 so I do appreciate a YA book that has safe and healthy sex scenes.

Overall, I give this book 5/5 stars for Unicorn Nails. This works as a standalone but I do think a Camp Outland series following different campers would be great. It's really left me in a mood for queer camp stories. I'll definitely read more Rosen (I owe one of his other books already). This the sort of book I wish I could give to my teen-self. Yeah, it would taught me the word Demisexual which would have been usefully but mainly because of all different queer characters. You have no rep, here's all the rep. My main point is that I love this book. Its does cover serious issues, so that's something to be aware of that going in. It's not all fun, true to life that way. This is my favourite book of this year so far, so of course, I think you should read it.

Read: 16/5/2020 to 21/5/2020
Reviewed: 21/5/2020 - 26/05/2020
Medium: E-Arc
Published Date: 28/05/2020
Publisher: Penguin
Source: NetGalley
CW: Homophobia (Challenged, Discussed); Queerphobia (challenged, Discussed); Homophobic Slur used; Internal Homophobia; Death of Grandparent; Death Ally family member;

Murder I Knitted

I am still in the process of re-watching Murder, She Wrote. I am now on to season 3 and I'm almost finished watched Lilo and Stitch Series. I only have 13 episodes which include the Crossover eps. Not sure if they Lilo and Stitch had crossed back over to other shows. From memory, think it was just Disney shows visiting them. Apparently the last time the Recess characters appear in anything.

My sister's baby is due any day now, she technically late and I'm trying to finish this knitting process but I keep dropping stitches and having to go back. It's taking longer than it should.- Also I might run out of wool for the hood.

I've been reading, not editing or really writing. Writing is such slow process that I've only toy about it. I've been Bullet Journalling again. I just want to do so much.

My sleeping pattern is going to hell. A lot of staying up, not being able to sleep because my brain doesn't have structure. I don't really have much to say anymore. Except staring at sleeping Border Collies make me feel bitter.

Book Review: The Third Wife by Lisa Jewell

Should you throw out a whole family? Yes.

You think you have the perfect life.

You're successful. Attractive. Well liked.

And you've just got married for the third time. 

But that’s OK because everyone’s happy. Your children are happy. You're happy. And so is your new wife.

But one tragic accident smashes your perfect life to pieces. Because everyone has secrets, and secrets have consequences.

Some of which can be devastating.

This was definitely my least favourite of Jewell's work that I have read. I'm glad it wasn't the first of her work I read because I probably wouldn't have picked up more. It is typical of what she writes about. Family and kids. This one is not a murder mystery though. There is a death with questionable circumstances around them. Third Wife of this father with 5 kids between his two wires and whether she intentionally threw herself in front of a bus or was a drunk accident.

The mystery was weak, most of it was just wide goose chases until it suddenly wasn't. The mystery was filluate the character development. However, the characters are problem on their own.

They were unlikeable and uninteresting. It's a character study about this middle-class family, who all take after their terrible father. Even the youngest kids just seem like jerks. Even the five-year-old baby. Maybe they all deserve each other. I guess they are some character development but it took the death of someone for it to happen.

With some of the voice I work, I did wonder if I would have liked the book better if I had physically read it. Some just make characters even more unlikable than they already were

Also, this is set during the 2012 London Olympics, which just seems so random now. I imagine London public transplant being jammed packed now. I wonder if there will be books set during this time. Probably.

Overall, I give this 3/5 stars for Cat Fur. I just don't enjoy family mysteries without murder. This book was a lot like Liane Moriarty books which also books I don't really enjoy. There's nothing that wrongs with them but they just do nothing for me.

Read: 14/5/2020 to 15/5/2020
Reviewed: 15/5/2020 - 16/05/2020
Medium: Audiobook
Narrator: Emma Gregory
Published Date: 21/03/19 (Novel published originally 3 July 2014)
Publisher: Random House Audiobooks
Source: Library
CW: Suicide; Death; trying for a baby; infertile issues; Cyberbullying;

Postponed Murder

Going through the process of re-watching childhood nostalgia. 'Murder, She Wrote' and 'Lilo and Stich' the TV series. One is definitely more entertaining than the other to re-watch as an adult. I've been watching 'Lilo and Stitch' as background noise while I'm trying to go to sleep or play a game. Definitely, not something that can hold my full attention again. I don't think I had ever watched the full series, definitely all the films at one point.

Murder, She Wrote is nostalgic because it was always on before or after CBBC section was on. With Diagnose Murder as well. I think Murder she wrote was on before and then Diagnosed Murder and maybe it was on BBC Two and would switch between them during the bad kid shows.

Got more into Bullet Journalling, started a TV/Film one to document my splints and my Film watching project. So far it's just TV ones but I plan to add my Film watching project. Not going that great because a lot of them are impossible to find. I have started a LetterBoxd account. I still keep a Bujo note of the films I watch but it might be good as a digital one when I don't the immediate time to document in my Bullet Journal.

Eurovision should have been tonight. I missed the start (17 minutes) of Eurovision: Europe Shine a Light On, I was too caught up on murder. I'll probably download and watch incase it was something decent I missed. Probably not much if it's pasted winners singing in their gardens.  I wonder if Junior Eurovision will happen in November.

I never go why people complained about Australia being in Eurovision when Israel has been in and clearly not being in Europe for years and being an awkward sticking point.

This is depressing. I wish they had shown the songs on the TV instead of doing a Livestream on YouTube. Our song was called 'My Last Breath'. That's depressingly fitting.

I'm now doing six things at once. Watching TV, Knitting, reading and Writing. Successfully, not really. I have too many things to do at once all the time. So I'm off to find another project somehow.

27 and Still Bored.

Hi, I'm 27th and still depressed about a life situation. Still not writing but I've dyed my hair pink which a tiny bit of a fail.

My mum helped with the back and missed a big chunk, but no one will see it so I'll fix it when I redo my roots. I used two bottles of Manic Panic Cotten candy which were just a waste of money because it would not take to parts of my hair. So the hot pink went on and the bottle of my hair is not fully done. Looks kinda cool.

My birthday was fine, got a raspberry jam cake in the end so the day was saved. But the "My Birthday in Lockdown" t-shirt has still not come. Well, I actually got two. But one came on my birthday and the other on Thursday and goes out of date in June. I have flour so I want to do more baking but probably should finish eating at least one of those cakes.

My dad cut the mistake cake while they were still some of my birthday cake. So stale town for both.

They are so many goals I want to achieve with my life but now I'm even more in a state of limbo. I am getting older and I'm not processing. I know its fine for things to take a while but maybe not this long. The big thing is I'm not happy with where my life is and it's ultimately my fault, no matter the outside factors, I played a part in my failing.

If you do nothing, you get nothing.

This just a giant ramble going over the same thing. I miss writing, but nothing is stopping me. I need to get over this perfection idea when I know they are skills that you need to work at to be at a good level.  I also haven't read anything though this whole readathon so that's something.

Anyway,  maybe I finished that novel or I'll just start writing fanfiction instead of the original work I've been writing most of my teens.

26 and Bored

This is my last post as a 26th-year-old. My birthday is on Monday. I never end up doing anything for my birthday. Last year I wanted to go bowling and never happened.

Not much to say, the wrong cake came in the food delivery. So my birthday is ruined. I don't know what my life is which makes birthdays a complicated reminder.

Anyway, nothing to report except that the birthday day t-shirt was shipped yesterday and they now claiming it will come 5-6th of May instead of the 4th being the last possible delivery date promised. Maybe I should have ordered from the cheaper business but had a longer shipping date.