Book Review: Good Omens by Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman

Oh, the world should ended when I was eight. I would have welcomed it (sad, but true).  Or before I was born.

'Armageddon only happens once, you know. They don't let you go around again until you get it right.'


According to The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch - the world's only totally guide  to the future, written in 1655, before she exploded - the world will end on a Saturday. Next Saturday, in fact. Just after tea...

People have been predicting the end of the world almost from its very beginning, so it's only natural to be sceptical when a new date is set for Judgement Day. This time though, the armies of the Good and Evil really do appear to be massing. The four Bikers of the Apocalypse are hitting the road. But both the angels and demons - well, one fast-living demon and a somewhat fussy angel - would quite like the Rapture not to happen.


And someone seems to have misplaced the Antichrist . . .

This the first Terry Patachatt novel I've read, but I've danced around with Gaiman before. I had been interested to read this book for a while and  the adaption with David Tennant pushed me to read it. I thought the TV adaption was being released sooner than is. It not coming out till 2019 so plenty of time to read this novel before then.

There's a lot characters in this book and jumbles between them all. The Angel and the Demon both being bad at what they meant to do always works.

The plot works well for the story, not sure why 11 year old Antichrist is what you would be waiting for. Wouldn't wait till puberty was finished? Humour I guess.

Is it weird when I finished this book, I immediately thought the ones stars would be a hoot, and they were. "Pretentious" and saying to get rid of characters that are necessary for the plot to work.

Overall, I give this book 4/5 stars for singe corners. This book is relevant and for being almost 30 years (we're all getting so old) it hard to date it really (except it's cds and ipods that turn into the best of Queen now). Well, I'm off to throw some books in a bath or something. 

Book Review: Robot Uprisings by Daniel H. Wilson and John Joseph Adams

I'm currently not in talking terms with most of my technology.

Someday soon, our technology is going to rise up and we humans are going to be sliced into bloody chunks by robots that in our hubris we decided to build with chainsaws for hands. That's a fact as cold and hard as metal.

It is self-evident that our self-driving cars are going to drive us off bridges. Not long from now, our robo-vacuums will pretend to be broken and our love androids will refuse to put out until the house is cleaned . . . and we'll know that the inevitable robot uprising has finally arrived.

Well, maybe. But even if we are not 100% confident that this horrific future is going to happen, it's fair to say that we won't be surprised when the robots come for us. Because for nearly a century audiences have been entertained by the notion of a robot uprising.

In this collection, seventeen of the biggest names in sci-fi have explored their own visions of the classic robot uprising tale. The robots in these pages aren't safe, by any means. They are crouched in abandoned houses, eyes ablaze and chainsaws dripping with oil. But they are going to do more than slice us up. They are going to push us to consider our world of technology from new perspectives, on entirely new scales of time and space.

Even though this book is called the Robot Uprising, most of them don't involve what you would call Robots. More just AI in everything. I got to say I don't think it will be technology that will be the end of humanity especially since most tech seems have the lifespan of a well-cared for rabbit. Just don't let them build themselves and we're be fine. Oh, wait...it might already be too late. Okay, lets get into the actual stories.

Complex God by Scott Sigler: This was a strong one to open with. There is Harry Potter references so that makes it the best story ever. The tone was nice as well. Deep and questing humanity and all that jazz. And. 4/5 stars for frogs.

Cycles by Charles Yu: I quite like this one. It more interesting to be told the story from the point of view of the robot because motive is something I never really got about "Robot Uprisings".4/5 stars for Procrastinating Robots.

Lullaby by Anna North: Sing to the robots, save the house. This one is interesting as it actually set after a war with robots have already taken place. A young hacker moves into her grandfather old house which she hears is meant to be  haunted. It is *evil laugh*.  4.5/5 stars for incompetent  authority figures.

Eighty Miles an hour all the way to paradise by Genevieve Valentine: I liked the ending, it’s sort of sad. Also in this world, Britain would probably fine going off the ending. I'm disappointed that appears not to be a real song. 4/5 stars for death cars.

Exeutable by Hugh Howey: You should have better things to do in the robot apocalypse than have a pointless trial. Especially, since the person on trial could be valuable in his knowledge of Robots. 3/5 stars for idiots.

The Omnibot Incident by Ernest Cline: Really cute story about possible killer Robot set in the 80s. No, it not a fanfiction of Johnny-5. It should be. 5/5 stats for knife play.

Epoch by Cory Doctorow: This was sort interesting as it was about survival and think it made the good point as to why we would care about AIs. Why would we want Artificial Intelligence be a thing? 5/5 stars for non-sexy phone calls.

Human Intelligence by Jeff Abbott: Oh, the trickery. I could also get behind this apocalyptic scene with how believable it is to me. 5/5 stars for man's last hope.
 

The Golden Hour by Julianna Baggott: I like this one, kinda unique as it about a robot making human baby and loving it. Robots are still our overlords but questioned the relationships and emotion.4/5 stars for stolen DNA.

Sleepover by Alastair Reynolds: DUMB, DUMB, DUMB. There are so many things I did not like about this story. The concept, the structure, the suppose explanation. Basically, most of the human race has been put to sleep except for a group of caretakers. They wake up this guy to be a caretaker and explain absolutely nothing to him. They say there is a war, that’s it and he left to figure what going on himself.  The character were annoying as no one explains themselves. 1/5 stars for being Dumb, Dumb, Dumb.  Okay, I’m being a bit mean, but really don’t like this one.

Seasoning by Alan Dean Foster: It could be argued that humans could behind what’s going on in this story. I guess still sort of interesting and involves one of those unavoidable things of life: Food. 3/5 stars for making me want a pretzel.

Nanonauts! In Battle with tiny Death-Subs! By Ian McDonald: Lesson, boys should wear concealer too. Also protected your drinking glasses in bars and don’t brag to strangers about your job. 3/5 stars for being Nanotastic.

Of Dying Heros and Deathless Deeds by Robin Wasserman: Wasserman is the only writer in this anthology that I’ve read before (though I own others’ books and not hers). I generally like her writing style. This one was so sad and I had tears in my eyes at the end. 5/5 stars for alot of talking.

The Robot and the Baby by John McCarthy: This weird, kinda funny story, basically robot that sort of goes against it programming whilst keeping with it. 4/5 stars for spider legs.

We are All Misfit Toys in the Aftermath of the Velveteen War By Seanan McGuire: I liked this story but I think there was some issues with it. As not to spoiler it, let just say everything is on the internet. 4/5 stars for a updated horror cliché.

Spider the Artist by Nnedi Okorafor: Killer Robots and music. This was the only story not set in the west, definitely make it stand out more. It's set in African country (I can't remember which one). It has this nice soft tone, that almost musical so goes very well with the story. 4/5 stars for spurting oil.

Small Things by Daniel H. Wilson: This is the longest story in the anthology. It even had chapters. Because of it's length I did spend most of the time wondering when it would start getting interesting. Follows a shamed nano expert who tricked by the government (petty sure it's US but don't think it said it them), into going to a nano infested island with a mad scientist making them do weird things to living things. There is some horrific imagery in this story. 4/5 stars for

Overall, I gave this book 4 out of 5 stars for junked cities. I enjoyed reading this and there are some interesting, well-written stories in it so definitely recommend to robot and sci-fi lovers.

I got this book off Netgalley for Review. It's published by Simon & Schuster and has been out since April.

END IS NIGH!!! (and it has been for the past five hundred years)

So since the world is meant to end next Friday (21st December 2012), I thought I would write an end of the world story (sort of) and since Zombies is the favourite cause among the others on my college course. Also I do sort have got a plan if was zombies and I suppose in theory a virus could cause brain cells to die and cause crazed actions as attacking and eating people. (Also I need to stop using the word AND).
I'm frankly cynical about the world ending this year or the next as so many Americans seem to believe. Maybe its because I've already live through so many other "End of the Worlds". There seems to be at least one every decade since I was born or maybe the cold war. If there was some sort of disaster it will purely be coincidental. Maybe it only be America since that where the Mayas are from. My theory is that the Mayas either give up on a calendar that was hundreds years into the future or they died out before they could finish it. So blame the Spanish.

So I give you ZOMBIES!!!:

I walk slowly down the street, my bus was still ten minutes away. The street is quiet, nothing that shocking just usually there at least someone else waiting for the bus. Its last and only one that goes around the west villages from the town. I was sure I wasn't the only person who had gotten off here this morning. There still plenty of time. I'm just being paranoid. Seen too many horror films to trust silence fully.

Just my own gentle steps seemed to be the only noise. It kinda bugs me that I've started to hum by the time I'm under the shelter of the bus stop. I scan the street for any for sign of life. I known there's be people in the houses, but you just can't tell from the outside. I see a woman walking towards me. Even from a distance I can see her coat is stained. I stared at her openly, trying to figure out what the stain is due to my boredom and likely hood of never seeing this woman again. Dried mud. No dripped. Dried dirty water. Blood. No too much to be that. You're be dead if all that was your own.

I notice the woman is limping and her hair covers her face as she comes closer. I know the right thing is to ask if she okay, but my insight is to flee. Instead of doing either, I decided to ignore her, moving deeper into the shelter, and not bring attention to myself. I turn away from the women, her still coming closer and begin scanning the road for signs of the bus. I really hope its early for once. It probably be late, it always late.

I breath in the fresh air to almost vomit. There's a repulsive smell, similar to the one of the dead mouse my cat had hidden in the stair cupboard. It was maggot infested when we found it. However, this smell was worst. I look around the shelter looking for the source. The only unusually thing I see is the women. The bus stop had smelled fine yesterday. That can't be her, can it? Who could stand to smell that bad?

She walks by the shelter in front of me. Oh my god, it is her. I cover my mouth and nose in attempt to block the smell, it doesn't help. I stare at her urging her to just go on. She keeps walking slowly. Before stopping and turning as if confused. She sniffs the air.

Maybe it not her after all, but why did the smell get so worst if not. She walks into the other entry of the bus stop. She turns to me. She stops again. Her hands are state, filthy and defiantly covered in blood. Her nails are ruined, broken length wise and some are missing completely.

"Can I help you with something?" I ask hesitantly. "Are you okay?"  She doesn't replied but she begins to walk again. I move before she can touch me. She walks into the wall. She craws at it with hands. She begins to moan at it. I step back from her. There something clearly wrong with her. I grab my phone from my pocket to call an ambulance or something. 

I heard a motto coming, I'm hoping it the bus. I run out to the shelter and knocking over a man. 

"Oh, I'm so sorry," I say as I offer him my hand. He grabs onto it. I have him off the ground when bites me. I let go of him and he lands on the ground. I look my arm he's took a chunk out of fresh from my arm. I scan the road looking for help. I see a mass of people coming towards. My instinct is to run, I listen to it this time. 

I run to the opposite direction, thankfully I see my bus coming from that way. I bang on the door as it goes past me. The driver slams on the brakes and I pull the door open.t

"Just fucking keep going," I shout as the driver as I climb on to the steps. He looks at me as if I'm insane.

"Please I'm being chased and there no one else coming," I show him my bus pass even though he sees me everyday.

He finially starts going as the mad women from the shelter slams herself as the door he just shut. I can her teeth and there bloody. I gulp, falling into the front seat. I take in deep breaths trying to calm down. I feel hot and sweaty not from running. I look at my injured arm. The wound was full of pus, it was too soon for it to be inflected. Oh god that guy must have been ill or something. Fuck. I fill with panic. I have no idea what to do. I fight to keep my eyes open. I lose.

***

The bus is late again. I jump up and down trying to keep warm. It not working much, the cold has sceept into my bones. I keep jumping until I see the bus, I get my pass out now so I can just go straight to a warm seat in the back.

The driver just nods at me as I get in using my pass as a shield against eye contract. The bus only has a few people on it including a girl who passed out in the front seat. Probably just didn't get enough sleep the night before. I managed to get the seat that heater hides under. The bus is quiet is normal, slowly filling up with each stop. 

I stare out the window having forget to begin a book with me this morning. World around us is a story anyway. We soon leave the crowded sheets to the countryside that separates the town from the villages and farms. I'm just admiring the moon reflecting on the lake when I hear the scream of a women. I look up at the front to see my a girl attacking the back of the driver. Two men are trying to pull her off but its too late to stop the bus leaving the road heading straight to the lake. A scream leaves my throat even though I know its no good.

Yeah, never expect much from these blog written for stories. They can be rather forced. See you next week, as I have faith in us both to survive.