Luck to Know what I'm doing

The Bat signal is back and on. I have had my original laptop back and running. Turned out that it wasn't the harddrive that was fucked and it only cost me £20 to fix. I should have done that in June (Going off June link to British Book Challenge). The memory is almost full and should probably delete some old video footage. Probably all of it as I'm never going to use it. My mother is going to the insurance but turns out that parents changed to worst insurance company. It doesn't have accidental cover, so don't spill red wine on our non-white carpets.

Apparently, I'm the only one whose got any luck in my family. (If that's the case why can't find a well, paying summer job). Well, that's what my mother said because I passed my Theory Test (I conquered the Hazard Perception and actually did better on the Theory by 1 mark), my laptop was corrupt files (that I think might have been my fault) and I got unconditional for uni. Sort of first choice (it's my parents anyway because it's the closes to home and other family member). But is that luck?

I studied for Driving Theory test and I failed the first time, I passed it the second time after they changed it to CGI which should win a Oscar, as its really good quality and the videos they had before were terrible and grainy. I stressed over it, it wasn't like I just showed up with any pre preparation and passed first time around.

UCAS possibly has something to do with luck and chance, praying to the Gods of UCAS might actually do something. However, I still worked hard on it. I studied for my Highers and other exams to get the decentish grades. I panicked over my personal statement. I slaved over that thing, I applied so late (day before the deadline is when it went out) because it made me feel so terrible and full of self-doult I hated that thing, I stand by that it was terrible. Hopefully, not as terrible as everyone else's. I had the grades to get Unconditional to most of my choices. In fact the uni that got back to me, was late. It said they would get back to me within 28 days. They got back to me on Monday at 4.47pm, that's forty days. I guess it doesn't matter overall as I won't hear back from other unis till at least March (probably 31st knowing my luck with an rejection). Also I was pretty sure that I should get into that uni, because it's newish uni (in terms of Universities) with different campuses. Anyway, it's great to know that I have a place at uni studying and training for my dream career.

Maybe I just say that Track is down for like a week (25th Feb to 2 March). That seems like a nightmare waiting to happen. I feel for anyone who gets a Track Notification during this time.

My point is none of that was really luck. I mean I brought a mother's laptop. If anything that was bad luck.

I have started money making schemes, though that said it might not be worth it unless make only so much a week. I want a job, not really a money making scheme. Though, I have finally created a Patreon. Hopefully, people will like me enough to pledge some money. I would be really happy if I make enough before I start Uni to get that model skeleton. Still want it really badly.

Though, to be honest my Patreon Rewards are bit high for certain things, but they're that high because amount of time that would normally take me to get to them. Also it seems higher, because it's in dollars and not pounds. Also I have gag rewards and goals, that no one will ever paid or will be reached.

Not sure when I will launch the page, because I want to make videos for it before I make the page live. Though, when I do, it will be linked on here someway.

I do have a mystery to talk to you about before I leave you for the week, on Tuesday I got 226 hits on here. Like 30 is the most I've ever had in a day and that had expernation. This has no expernation, I never even posted anything on the day. Maybe someone just kept refreshing the page repeatedly. If any of you know, please tell me, now I'm off to try and get another unconditional.

P.S. Portfolios suck.

I make plans for rejects

After months of confusion, frustration and being idiot, I have finished my portfolio and if asked for a portfolio from any of my other universities then I have something to throw at them even if it's shit.

I think it's terrible. I fall out of love with my creative film once I haven't seen it for a while, and then I hate it because what I was thinking. It's not terrible, I'm just so panicked by this whole process and I don't feel like I've sent in things that I want to be judge by but I didn't think I could send in my best work. Not that its that good either.

Eight or ten people get in and it's Edinburgh. People claim it's the dream to go there for some reason. Their visit wasn't great. Besides sheer title, I don't get why? Edinburgh is so expensive to live in. Also I think I might secretly still want to go to Edinburgh but the logical side my brain has decided that I shouldn't, as the chances of getting in are so slim and I don't have a lot of detail about it. The course structure doesn't sound completely right for me. But it would be cool to TV in consideration when studying. My point is, that I really didn't want to go why did I get so stressed about it. It should have just been me throwing something together in case. Edinburgh just doesn't make a good backup.

God, I need make more but real life or the confinement of my room makes it hard. Got my first job reject of the year. Though, I never sent a proper C.V. which I should have thrown together considering I have like usefully job skills. I should update it and start throwing them at shops and cafes.

I would like some magical money right now just so I could run away to my mind. I am a dumb arse with money and shouldn't be trusted with access to booksellers when I'm in this sort of mental state.

I have this strange paranoia that my potential universities might Google me. I know they won't and also if they Google only my first & last name, I won't come up. Yes, I have of course googled myself. It's interesting to see what comes up. It disappointing that my blog is so down the list now when I search Rachel Verna.

I had power out on Wednesday night, just imagine the horror that would have been if it happened on a Monday night. I had brought candle holders and a candle recently so they came in handy. If you live in the country then candles and something to start a fire is something you need to have in your house. Because even after the did work on it due to most of the regional having no power for days and even weeks in some cases last year. We were trapped in the house on Thursday by the snow that had knocked out the power so I never I went to college this week which is bad since I have missed few classes to due to illness and being sleep deprived. I'm having a flaw up and my limbs have been falling asleep and feel numb.

By the way, the dream story is not dead. I haven't gave up on it. It just been on the back burner for obvious reasons. I'm not promising anything about when it will be up, as I have lot of other things to do (in fact it's a proper stressful list) but I will post another creative story next week.. On the plus side, I have had a review up so far every Wednesday of this year and the next two Wednesdays are accounted for. I just really felt like talking to about this uni thing, even if it's a rambled mess.

P.S. I still want a fake life-size Skeleton and not found a good one to dream after.