Book Review: The Empty Grave by Jonathan Stroud

Yeah, that Unicorn thing was a mess.

After their recent escapades, Lockwood & Co deserve a well-earned break...so naturally they decide to break into the country's most heavily-guarded crypt.

What they discover will change everything.

So begins a race to uncover the truth behind 'the Problem' 
-igniting an epic battle against the Fittes agency. A battle that will force the team to journey to the Other Side, and pit them against the most terrifying enemy they have ever faced.

Not everyone will make it out alive...

This is the fifth and last book in the Lockwood & Co series. If you're reading the review, I presumed you've read the four other books or don't care if you're spoiled for those books, I am going to spoil past books in this review. I have reviews of all books on here so check them out instead if that's not here for that.

This book takes place five months after the last book, starts with them breaking and entering. Kipps is just here now.

This case of escapist, turned soul sucking ghost was cool. I liked her, it of course gave room for girl hate because she was hot. "Can't find the quote. I must rage without documenting it. Now I can't like Holly either.

The body shaming continues in general. There are constant comments about George's body. Basically George is fat and disgusting, that what we are repeatedly told. We also have Holly being shamed for liking healthy foods. This is just a continued thing, the only "growth" is now Holly will eat donuts if pressured. Banter is definitely a thing, but they're always focused on George. They don't even mock Kipps as much in this book, with him having more page time. Basically, it's mixed messages and it's gets hella stale after 2500 pages of it. Well, 500 pages were definitely enough for it to be stale. The fat shaming continues with Mr Tufnell, this book's customer. Every single customer in this series was terrible if they were for the main case, maybe except for the first one when they burnt down their house. Mr Tufnell is fat and eats all the cake.

There is part in this book where the time gets messed up, so that Lucy can feel sad about her non-existent sisters: "My sister Mary gave me the money to make one go once...'
 'Didn't know you had a sister, the skull said.
'I've got six.' I didn't mention that I hadn't seen any of them for years; that only Mary still wrote to me from the north of England. I tried to ignore the dull pang that accompanied the thought."
Time for A maths game of timelines: The second book is seven months after the first.
I don't think the third book has stated amount of months but it's probably three months, the second book takes place in summer and we at the start of the Black Winter so it could be shorter or longer, but it's between two and four months so let's just with three.  Meaning that the Lucy is 10 months into her time at Lockwood & Co. It's doesn't really matter, but what does matter is this is the book where Holly is hired while Lucy is visiting family.

The fourth book four months after the third, so with the five being five months meaning that Lucy last saw at least some of her sisters nine months ago so not even a single year ago. I guess as we never saw anything from that visit, but I'm certain she mentions her strain relation with her siblings then. There are other thing we count too.

Lucy is fourteen at the start of the series. Lockwood and George are like fifteen. So are like fifteen and sixteen unless years are randomly skipped in the second books, making Holly two years older being 18 years old when she is introduced. Kipps is in his twenties at the start of the series and is  stated to be 22 in this book, meaning that two years is all the time that these books can take place in, meaning that Lucy has has not even lived years years without her sisters. Yes, she could be exaggerating, but she would be exaggerating if she said she hadn't seen any of them in year. Lucy doesn't even mention her sister in the last book or the second, they literally only show up for background and plot, and yet Stroud can't even tract that. Lucy doesn't give care about her sisters. She doesn't even think about them when Lockwood tells her about his dead sister. Anyway, this is just a very long way of saying this bullshit. Obviously, there is also the time the books themselves take place (though the seven months of the first might be Lucy joint date). Let's give two months for the books themselves before the fifth book for case time, and we have twenty-one months a.k.a. a year and nine months. Maybe you want to add another month to that case time, but it's still not even twos years.

This is just a very long way of saying that you have to set up relationships, maybe even name her sisters or family. Or just stick to her being closed to the only named sister she has. I don't own the books, so I'm reliant on my memory and reviews, with some internet checking for this timeline. It's probably best because that was probably too much effect for this bit already.

So now Holly Munro who has darker skin than every other character (it's never more specific, she has smooth hair so it could mean a lot of things), was introduce Three books in, to cause a wedge in the group, cause Lucy be jealous that maybe Lockwood would want an older women, but fear not. Lockwood is not her "type" and there are other options, she also shares a flat with another girl. There is so many things. Well, having diversity is automatically great right? No, not when diversity is literally a single person who never clarified, just ambiguous. Sure, this is a kids book (with Late teens and twenty-somethings characters ), but better rep exists in the same age group. Holly being gay feels like it so she doesn't get in the way of the other ships, because Lockwood and Lucy being endgame.
Also Holly was into Lucy going off the last book, not sure why she would still be at that points since Lucy is a troll, not in appearance, but in soul. Falling in Lust with terrible straight people is totally a thing for gay girls, but come on Holly, Lucy would have to be supermodel hot for that to happen, or Holly needs psychological help. The main issue is Holly Munro is the constant token.

The world building is interesting, but certainly isn't perfect. I mean we did never learn why the evil company decided to have a unicorn for symbol. I guess shitty world building and the whole Great Britain Crest thing. Though, what was with the Lamps as symbol as well.

Overall, I give this book 3/5 stars for Deadly Magic. The Plot and the world is still majorly better than the characters. Though, a bit rushed and not fully answered questions that I would have liked. The characters are such major pain and so samely the more time I spent with them, they're be tolerable if they were just bland, instead of Arseholes. Once again this children series where I wouldn't give them to children. I mean if grown arse adult capable of questioning characters' shitty behaviour, why not read this series?

I will be back with a video review of all the whole series. It will be doubtfully be fun.

Quotes:
P11, "Like the rest of us, she was in stealth mode: she had her long dark hair clipped back in a ponytail, and wore a zip-up top, skirt and leggings. I could go on about how well the all-black get-up suited her, but why bother? With Holly, that was a given. If she'd gone around wearing nothing but a dustbin suspended from her shoulders by a pair of spotty braces, she'd have somehow made it look svelte."

Page 13, "'You've heard of racism. You've heard of Sexism. Well, this is skullism, pure and simple. You're judging me by my outward appearance. You doing my word solely because I'm a skull lurking in a jar of slime-green plasm. Admit it!'" The skull is meant to be a bad person but someone sat down and wrote this.

Page 75,"[George speaking] 'Holly, you look upset. Crack those doughnuts open.'
'Thanks, I'll have an apple.'
He shook his head sadly. 'You've got to learn that when you're stressed, an apple doesn't cut it... I feel quite shaken myself, come to think of it.' His eyes flitted to the sideboard.
'Yes, grab the plates, George,' Lockwood said. 'We'll all have one.
And we all did, even Holly. George was wise in such matters: a doughnut was a good corrective".

Page 78-79, "Holly met it as she did all obstacles: with brisk efficiency that looked a problem in the eye and didn't blink. Whether it was breaking into the Fittes Mausoleum or standing up to interrogation in the street, she always maintained her trademark Munro cool. It was hard to imagine her ever losing this quality, and somehow, despite everything, that made me confident that nothing really dreadful could or would happen in this world. Her unflappable demeanour used to make me seethe, yet now I found it a source of reassurance. Come what may, I knew Holly's hair would swish like gossamer as she walked; her clothes would flow effortlessly round her curves; her skin would glow with that same coffee-coloured lustre that spoke of close association with mineral water and green-been salads, and contrasted, reprovingly, with my famous burger-and-biscuit complexion. No, Holly would always be the same, and that made me happy." Okay, but she still obsessed with the way Holly looks. She goes on discrible George and "His doughy, featureless face lacked signposts to a personality, let alone a strong opinion." So he looks stupid but isn't, is her whole point.

P169, "My sister Mary gave me the money to make one go once...'
 'Didn't know you had a sister, the skull said.
'I've got six.' I didn't mention that I hadn't seen any of them for years; that only Mary still wrote to me from the north of England. I tried to ignore the dull pang that accompanied the thought." Okay Holly shows up in the third book, and was hired when Lucy had went to visit family including sisters meaning that she has seen some of them less than a year.

P314, "From the expression on her face I expected trade-mark Flo diatribe at this point, but she just went quiet, nodded and slipped away into the garden. When Lockwood really wanted something, it was very hard for anyone to say no."

P318, "The basement had long been our main concern, Again, the front of the house was theoretically vulnerable. It was true that our office window opened directly onto the sunken yard below our front door. Steps led down here from the gate and, though dead plants in big pots filled the space, intruders easily reach the windows. However, after a burglary years before, we had added iron bars to these, and it was hard to see how they could be bypassed. This meant we all focus our attention on the back.
At the rear of the office, past the rapier practice room, the storeroom and the laundry room, you came to back door. It was made of glass, and opened straight onto the grass of the garden. Of all parts of the house, this door was the weakest point. Kipps put a series Of boards across the opening, but we doubted they'd survive."

Page 326, "'Anything would be better than getting chopped into pieces by a group of smelly relic-men,' Kipps said. 'No offence intended there, Flo - you've a girl. Come on, Lockwood - what's the plan?'

Page 354, "'Oh, don't worry about that. We've talked about that before.' She pushed her hair back from her face. 'I'm sure I was an utter pain as well. Anyway, it must have been odd, having me show up.'
'It was a bit, but—'
'But you needn't have worried.' She smiled at me. 'Funnily enough, Lockwood isn't actually my type.'
In my embarrassment, I'm not sure quite what expression was right then, though I doubt the eerie glow in the room made it massively attractive. It was sufficient to make Holly laugh. She moved to look through another spy-hole at the far end of the window, which gave a different angle on the garden.
'Don't look so shocked, Lucy,' she said. 'I know how you feel about him. But, if anything, I had my eye on someone else.'
'Good God, you don't mean George?'
Holly laughed again; her eyes sparkled as she glanced at me sidelong. 'You must know there are other possibilities in this world,' The smile faded, her body tensed. 'Hold it — we've got company out there.' "

"She likes having her own place. Did you know she got a flatmate? A girl who works at the DEPRAC. That was news to me.' Lockwood about Holly.

Book Review: The Screaming Staircase by Jonathan Stroud

I too hunted Ghosts when I was Young.

For more than fifty years, the country has been affected by a horrifying epidemic of ghosts. A number of Psychic Investigations Agencies have sprung up to destroy the dangerous apparitions.

Lucy Carlyle, a talented young agent, arrives in London hoping for a notable career. Instead she finds herself joining the smallest most ramshackle agency in the city, run by the charismatic Anthony Lockwood. When one of their cases goes horribly wrong, Lockwood & Co. have one last chance of redemption. Unfortunately this involves spending the night in one of the most haunted houses in England, and trying to escape alive.

Set in a city stalked by spectres, The Screaming Staircase is the first in a chilling new series full of suspense, humour and truly terrifying ghosts. Your nights will never be the same again . . .

A group of Twelve Year olds (Okay, I think they might be slightly older than that, but I forget, they roughly that age. Update 29/11/2018, they actually meant to be 15/16) are the only Ghost Fighting Company that has no adults. In this world Ghosts are dangerous, can kill you if they touch you but Children are the only one who can see/sense them fully, meaning adults are basically useless when fighting them. It's not made clear how old you are when you lose your ability to sense ghosts fully (adults can feel them, but can't hear or see them. The powers vary between the kids). I imagine it will come up in the future books. 

The Premise alone is pretty good. The kids only being able to see them is a bit kid-ful but this is children's book and they has to be a reason why the government would be chill with kids fighting ghosts in this world.The feel that there's something else going with that. It's also a kids book with a Murder Mystery which always fun.

The mystery side is done pretty well and is on a higher level than some of the thrillers that I have read aimed at an older audiences (there are adult mystery books that don't even try). It has quite similarity to popular mystery tropes and urban legends (also real life cases with something similar have happened. Also an Angel Episode), but this is aimed at kids and someone has to introduce them to the stapes. Also it's done really well.

This book is told in first person by Lucy Carlyle, the newbie to the organisation which works fine. It is kinda slow getting into this book. There is a lot to introduce and there is a lot flashbacks. It someone what expective when you're setting up 50 years of history and a made up industrial. I think it set now but there's also something old fashioned about this world. I guess ghosts and different technology developments and maybe I don't play enough attention to remember.

The world building is decent. The rules of the ghosts are set up pretty quickly and we get different level of ghosts so there's stakes. It's an alternative time line thing where ghosts made themselves known 50 years ago, so basically everyone has grown up with ghosts being a dangerous thing and the things to deal with them have been established, like special street lights and building water cannels because ghosts are vampires apparently.

There's three main characters: Lockwood, Lucy and the fat one. That's not his name, but that his characterisation with being obsessed with food and being described as chubby, so not great on Plus Size representation. I need to look up his name, it was George Cubbins...great last name choice. He's also would rather do research than jump into danger so he spends a lot time inactive too. Of course, research is skill that will last into adult hood and will always be usefully for hunting ghosts so jokes on the others. George is also unlikable, as our POV Lucy and him do not get along. It was the only thing that puts me off this series. Hopefully, the characters will all show more depth. Lockwood has some mysterious past and I remember nothing being said about George's background so I guess we're see. Being in Lucy's head mean we know the most about her, she works pretty well as our narrator and action hero.Though, something I don't quite love is that she hates on "Pretty girls", she straight says she doesn't like girls based on her looks, one of these was the victim. Maybe she'll grow as person, but this is a kids book and it's not resolved in this one, a kid might never get their hands on more of the series. Lucy knows she doesn't like girl who are "prettier" than her, but she fine with this as if not a bad trait to be prejudice against someone, and she is the audience replacement character in terms of being introduced into the company, in a book aimed at children. This such a toxic thing that girls are socialised to do, so if not going to be character development moment in the book it's introduced, then just don't. Especially, as Lucy has no girl friends and the other girls in the books are either dead or an antagonist. Stroud is a man (and as always socialise as one to my knowledge) so this is especially not a great look for him. Yes, woman writers do this as well but that's their own society bullshit to deal with. I know men do the same thing to other men. It's just an odd and dangerous trait to give as one of the defining characterisation of your main character.

Overall, I give this book 4/5 stars for ghost touching. I am going to continue with the series, if the plot sounds like your jam then you should definitely pick this book up.

 So I read this book over a month ago so not the best way to write reviews and I read like 20 books since reading this so I've not been great with details.

I also read the novelle The Dagger in the Desk, it's a bit weak, but it was written I think in a tight deadline and was written as pact of a thing where fans/children picked out the elements of the story. It's just a short thing and a audio version of it is currently online for free so worth listening to if you like the first book which you should definitely read before the novelle. 

Dance Hall: Chapter 7, Brownstones to Death

Hey, sticking with this odd terrible novel thing I'm doing here. Is the chapter clickbaiting? Yes. In terms of other stuff. I went to see Wrinkle in Time with much of famale film students. We agree it could have been better. Too close cameras and bad editing choices. What was the point of Calvin, other than to fuck shit up? To be the love interest. I want us to move past this as society. Some ideas were good.We ended up bitching about our bad teacher experinces due to it so we went something.

So here's the my novel where I've decided to skip school.

Start & Last Chapter

Chapter 7, Brownstones to Death

I’m in luck and have gotten out of an education till after summer, despite they still being three weeks left of school. Exam results will decide my classes anyway. Though, that just meant by the time summer came I would already be a bored phrase in a town where I knew no one.

Well, I half knew people. But someone who moved the summer before high school is not really a friend. I had been at the same Primary school three times once. I had probably been to every Primary that was in the high school catchment area. I had bumped into people, but I didn’t even remember names, so it would be more awkward than anything if they remember me.

My mother had been changed the locks and was now organising the workmen necessary to fix her hotel dreams. She was hiring a project manager to get it done as fast as possible to a liveable state and to get away from the freaky neighbours. The woman who had “greeted” us, likes to stand at her window looking at us. I haven’t seen her son again.

I was alone in the house, so I was having a staring contest. I had no books, WIFI or TV. I was already at the bored phrase. I was going to find the library which could provide me with all three as I owned a DVD player. I took my crappy phone with me; haunted smart phones were not something you found, and I could not convince mum to get me a new one. It was slow, but worked I guess.

The library was in the centre of town and was an hour walk away. Well, I had nothing to do anyway. We live in a housing scheme that boarded onto fields at one side and the town on the other. The houses were all the same till they were a completely different decade and did not blend at all together, which was better than councils choosing to build houses with attic roofs. Attic roofs were stupid and should not be a thing in new buildings.

I wasn’t wearing the best shoes or clothes for this. Skinny jeans with no bend and tennis shoes that had no padding. I could lie in bed for a week starting tomorrow anyway. An IPod that I had to keep deleting stuff to get the latest hits on to it. It ended up taking me an album and half to get to the library. The town was still the town.

Not much had changed since I was last there. The fences were more run down but that was it. The library was an old brownstone like so many other libraries. I currently had access to eight online library services. Most libraries don’t bother to make sure you’re still a member.

In this case, I wasn’t sure if my library card was still good as it didn’t have an online system when I was a member and I hadn’t thought to check before losing access to reliable internet. My phone was junk. I walked up it woven down steps into the grand hall and now had automatically opening door. In front of me was a closed off stairs that held a sign that sign staff only. The non-fiction to the left and the fiction to the right. I held for the fiction. I didn’t feel like using my brain.

The teen section was now titled YA to be cool like those Americans and was on the other side of the massive room. I scanned the shelves for something new. The books were different. Weeding had taken place. Some were still the exact same copies. I pick up the ex-popular supernatural romance to see it hadn’t been checked out from before I moved. I put it back on the shelve to never be read again.

I picked up few other books that promised the undead. There was even one with necromancer as the villain. I took it out because as reading terrible depictions of Death Contractors. was my guilty pleasure. I watched the shows and read the cheesy books. My mother did not approve of this. Especially the paranormal romances. Falling in love with a dead person was something my mother did not approve of.

Some were actually written pretty well as works of fiction and some of got stuff eerily accurate. Perhaps another death contractor writing from her own experience or they just got luckily. The ones I picked up, I did not expect to be good. I wander to the adult side of the library which I found harder to navigate. Despite, the handy genre sorting of Fiction, Crime, Romance and Western. Western was section I had never read from despite multiple libraries having this as a section. Maybe if they had ghost cowboys.

I grabbed randoms with interesting titles. I kind of wish they sorted by title instead of author. Perhaps by buzzwords like “Amazing” and “Best Book of the Year”. I go the desk.

“I would like these out,” I say handing the 8-year-old library card to her. She scans it and hands it back without much ado. Well, that was anti-climactic. No, this card is too old, or you have 6 years of library fines that now total a ridiculous price to ask of someone not entitled to minimal wage.

I shove the books in my backpack and leave. I’m not that interested in the internet and it would probably best to be out of town before the schools got out. I did not want to wait for the lollypop lady.

I wandered away from the library in the opposite direction. What is a two hour walk really?  I fancied a look at my favourite building in this old town. The Dance hall was a street back from the library. Both had been built during this big expansion of the town. I had gone through a phase of researching the building, to not learning much at all. No recorded deaths to the building.

A ghost didn’t need to die in a building to haunt it. Sometimes an emotional link is enough to drag someone back there. I’ve never had that with a building. More of the windows had been boarded up on the ground level since the last time I stood next to it. The For Sale sign is still there, now discoloured. I wonder if still up for Sale.  I glance in the direction of the antiques and junk shops that my mother like to peruse. No signs of her ridiculous car.

I had only gain a slight obsession with this building due to my mother habit of taking hours to actually buy what she came for in any shop she goes in. I had noticed a ghost once and follow them up into the building. I had never seen it again. My mother doesn’t like this building, due to my mild obsession.

The door is slightly open once again. I guess it’s never locked. I pushed it open it more. It’s dark, with sunbeams lighting the wood panelling. Going into a derelict building at any age is stupid. I slowly edge into the building. The wooden floor looks study, though probably isn’t with unheated winters and water seeping in through broken windows.

I hear a creek. It was from above me. It could be ghosts, homeless or the ferial cats. Ferial cats can be deadly. You can lose limbs and I watch too much daytime TV.

“What are you doing?” I jump and turn around to see Junior Creep in the High School uniform.

“Why ain’t you in school?” I ask right back.

“Free Period,” she enters the building. Scanning around. Probably wondering if the roof will fall on her.

 “So not stalking me?”

“Only on the weekends,” she settles her eyes on me. “I wouldn’t hang around here. People go missing.”

There was literally not a single record of that happening. Even when it was still a functioning Dance Hall.

“That’s never been in the papers.”

“A lot of things have never been in the papers.” True that. Mortals by accident or chance, magic on purpose. Even dark magic must be hidden because it could bring us all down.  I probably would have been safe now, but we brunt with everyone else.

“Well, I guess I should be going now.” I say and shove past her back into the street. I start in the direction of my house. I still might be able to avoid the kids.

I hear Aytia walking behind me. I turn around to go away, when I catch a figure in the upper window. I stare at the ghost I saw when I was eight years old and never age in all these years.

“What are you looking at?” I look at Aytia for a second and jump back to the window. Gone. Typical ghost. I want to know the story, but probably best not to. That place is a death trap, probably.

“Nothing,” I start walking again. I don’t want to get into it with Aytia. She continues to walk with me.

“I thought you weren’t stalking me.”

“I’m not, my house is this way.”

We walk in silence before bumping into her first lollypop man. Damn it. I quicken my pace after crossing the road.

“What’s your hurry?”

“I’m being followed.”

I slow down once we’re on the outskirts of the main of town, houses instead of business. Aytia is still there.

“Where is your house anyway?”

“We’re almost there. Where’s yours?”

Going off last time, I still have an hour to go. My feet were starting to hurt.

Aytia’s house was obvious on the approach. It was obviously a witch’s house if you knew the signs. The front Gardens was full of plants that could be used in potions and some doubled as protection. There was also a Barbie doll, with a badly protection symbol craved into naked stomach, lying on one of the bushes. The garden was well cared for, but the paint was chipped.  Also, their minivan was in the drive.

“Wanna come in?” Aytia doesn’t wait for and is already though the door. Witches are interesting creatures and my feet really hurt so I follow her up the stairs. Maybe I can steal some herbs.

Chapter 8, Witches and Witches

Dance Hall: Chapter 6, Tinfoil Cake

Yes, I wrote this chapter immediately after the last chapter so it here. I also remember where I was going to with temporary homes. Something similar that happened in this chapter and would structurally be better as one chapter. I'm trying to get the plot of the story.  It could be better but this is a first draft of a novel that is not properly outlined. I know what I'm doing. (LOL, no I don't).

Start & Last Chapter

Chapter 6, Tinfoil Cake.

Parking up didn’t take long. We had only been there for three months. The house was decorated for the 80s to the extreme, but it had been cared for, it only had a ghost that like to pick up glasses and throw against the wall. Scary when you can’t see the ghost doing it, but when it’s a woman in ballgown shouting “I hate you and the world” every time it’s hilarious and then old when the old when the unbreakable glass takes a chunk out of the wall you had just wallpapered.

She was sad that no one seem to notice when she gone. Gave her prep talk and got her to move on before she could change her mind. I hope that the “After” is better than just hanging around in house, scaring the shit out of people at 4 am.

I think my mum had only picked this place for the location between different antique shops, that seem have an endless supple of ghosts. She did have few private customers that called on her to sort the problem. I don’t know if they knew mum’s “Talent” or just that she can get rid of their problem. It’s amazing that we never run out of work. A lot of the objects and houses turned out not to be haunted at all. Stories have a major effect.

This house was in the certain of the town, with university and college making it perfect to rent out to students. Or sell on probably. I’m not sure how many of the houses my mum still owns. She rents the ones that have bad stories or might be slow to sell for boring reasons. I’ve lost count of how many houses I’ve lived in. Maybe there’s more that I haven’t even been in.

I lay down on the bed that will be going on a moving truck tomorrow. I’ve had it for four years, since we abandoned all the furniture that wouldn’t fit in the minivan with the seats taken out, and that included my princess bump bed that I had got after America. I wonder if it still in that house, with the little girl ghost that I was too old to play with.

That why I know my mum keeping something from me. Because we didn’t get rid of that ghost. That little girl waved goodbye to me as we drove away in my mum’s minivan with the missing seats. We had to leave that house, we’ve had to leave other houses.

I’ve been all over with Europe with this bed. If my mum had been any good at home-schooling, we would have kept at it I think. But that stopped really working after I was ten so that was a fun ten months before mum gave up and decided that I need to be educated in the school where I understood the language other than just being able to swear at the ghosts in a language they would understand. Yeah, international ghost business was a bit of a fail.

I think we’re running from something. I have no clue from what. I know nothing about my mum’s biological family. She ran away from something. I know she meet my father when she was at the circus because I have heard several stories about mum and been shown the photos by my circus “aunts”. We meet up with them when we in the same place. We got into America with them and went our separate away. Maybe we can go to Asia or maybe I’ll run away to the circus and make my own little mistake.

                                                                                    

Okay, being in charge of a child next year sounds overwhelming. I’ve never even used public transport by myself. I know my mother loves me, she has also drilled safe sex into my head since puberty became a thing. She says it not about babies, but I think seeing the witches lazed attitude about teen pregnancy freaks her out. High death rate means that they end up raising each other kids anyway.

I was going to be around witches again and other magic knowers. Death Contracters don’t do much with spells and potions, but they can come in handy. Protection wards if violent which yes, can be done though sageing Wearing protecting amulets is generally useful. My mum has made me wear one since I can remember. Summoning and banishing usually involves a spell. Unless you’re me, who accidentally summoned a football team of ghosts once.

That was when I was thirteen and alone. Mum freaked when she came back to a house full of random sprits and swore never to leave me by myself again. She leaves me be a little now, all technically an adult and can be legally left to wander the sheets, but I think she still worried I’ll up graded to American Football team of ghost, which is 40. American football is dumb with how many people are on the teams. I guess because they constantly injured.

“Nova,” my mother shouts from across the house. She says something else, but it mumbled from this distanced. I drag myself from off the bed and get up to find her stuffing boxes. She sometimes likes to keep objects she finds. She generally likes antiques and knows how much they worth. I don’t know if I liked them, but I could make better profit that some of the TV experts. Surprisingly, my mum will not appear on TV despite being seen as inspiration as she was a teen mum who quit school. Seriously though, I think she hates that stuff anyway. She scoffs when she catches me watching it and by catching, I mean coming into see who I’m shouting idiot at.

“What is it?”

“Have you finished packing?” my mother asks as if it will take anytime. Packing was literally throwing my clothes back in the rucksack.

“Everything but the bed.”

“Good.” She goes back to stuffing boxes. She doesn’t ask me to help ever. She has a system and she doesn’t trust anyone else to follow it.

I got back to my room and throw myself on the bed. It shakes and then crashes to the floor. My mother doesn’t come into see me now half on the floor. I should have known this day would come.

***

We get to the house after the movers. I’m able glad that we have the money now to hire someone to do this. My mum and I do not make a good moving team. They also a woman waiting with a cake shaped thing. What flesh hell is this?

“Hello,” She enthusiastically greets us as we approach our own home. She thrusts the cake into my arms. No idea, why she picked me for this homemade thing. It’s covered in tinfoil. “I just wanted to pop in and to say hello to our new neighbours. I live just across from you.”

She points her mirror of house, that’s had the garage converted into another room. My mother tightly smiles.

“I was just so excited to hear someone was finally moving into the house. It’s sat empty for months.”

Oh, she is going into the ghost.

“I hope you and your parents have better luck than the last family.”

I snort. How off base.

My mum looks young I guess, and Sometimes I forgot how young my really is to some other mum’s. She only 33, this is the age a lot of woman have their first kids now. I do wonder if she wishes she had more than just me. I wanted siblings, because it wouldn’t just me. A baby now would probably just something I would be made to babysit.

“Actually, this is my daughter,” is my mother tight reply. She doesn’t give my name, so I know she somewhat annoyed, probably because we’re literally moving in at this exact moment. The movers have started taking in the main furniture. My bed is going to the skip, stupid thing.

“Oh, gosh,” is she American? “you look great for your age.”

“Do I look bad?” I ask. The woman looks confused.

“I had her when I was fifteen,” I give my mum a look. Weird lie.

“Oh, well, you must be so well for yourself now,” what hell does that mean? Her face pales. “Sorry, I just wanted to say hello and if you every need anything just yolla.” Her accent was definitely local. “Sugar or an ear to moan about that lousy landlord.”

OMG, this is the best. My mum might explode.

“What do mean?” my mother askes simply. If my hands were not full, I would film this.

“I just meant the Landlord was very patronising to the last tenant, ignoring their “issues” with the house.” She fingers quotes to indicate that she does not know what that means.

“Well, I don’t know if I should be the one to tell you this.” Oh, she wants to be. I drop the cake thing that never gonna be ate anyway. No one notices me and get my phone out.

“The thing is that house is haunted and the landlord would not let them have the house blessed or anything. In the end, He kicked them out with nowhere to go.”

“That’s funny, cause they got kicked out for craving up the walls and…”

“Those were the ghosts,” She interrupts. “They are very violent”.

“They weren’t when we lived here before,” I add.

“Before?”

“Yes, we use to live here before I started renting it out.” The woman’s face pales again.

“You’re the landlord.”

“Yes,” my mother replies simply and starts to walk away. The woman grabs her arm.

“I just wanted to say hello and say that I’m a friendly, I didn’t mean to be rude.” My mother shakes her off and goes into the house. Leaving me with the fake lady and tinfoil smashed on the grass.

“I just wanted to say that you are really rude.” I say and putting my phone back in my pocket. Okay, that was dumb, but who was to be friendly with a person lurking on your front garden. She looks dumbfound. I look back up her house to see that kid broke into our house of course. I go into the somewhat safety of the house.

Chapter 7, Brownstones to Death