Book Review: The Empty Grave by Jonathan Stroud

Yeah, that Unicorn thing was a mess.

After their recent escapades, Lockwood & Co deserve a well-earned break...so naturally they decide to break into the country's most heavily-guarded crypt.

What they discover will change everything.

So begins a race to uncover the truth behind 'the Problem' 
-igniting an epic battle against the Fittes agency. A battle that will force the team to journey to the Other Side, and pit them against the most terrifying enemy they have ever faced.

Not everyone will make it out alive...

This is the fifth and last book in the Lockwood & Co series. If you're reading the review, I presumed you've read the four other books or don't care if you're spoiled for those books, I am going to spoil past books in this review. I have reviews of all books on here so check them out instead if that's not here for that.

This book takes place five months after the last book, starts with them breaking and entering. Kipps is just here now.

This case of escapist, turned soul sucking ghost was cool. I liked her, it of course gave room for girl hate because she was hot. "Can't find the quote. I must rage without documenting it. Now I can't like Holly either.

The body shaming continues in general. There are constant comments about George's body. Basically George is fat and disgusting, that what we are repeatedly told. We also have Holly being shamed for liking healthy foods. This is just a continued thing, the only "growth" is now Holly will eat donuts if pressured. Banter is definitely a thing, but they're always focused on George. They don't even mock Kipps as much in this book, with him having more page time. Basically, it's mixed messages and it's gets hella stale after 2500 pages of it. Well, 500 pages were definitely enough for it to be stale. The fat shaming continues with Mr Tufnell, this book's customer. Every single customer in this series was terrible if they were for the main case, maybe except for the first one when they burnt down their house. Mr Tufnell is fat and eats all the cake.

There is part in this book where the time gets messed up, so that Lucy can feel sad about her non-existent sisters: "My sister Mary gave me the money to make one go once...'
 'Didn't know you had a sister, the skull said.
'I've got six.' I didn't mention that I hadn't seen any of them for years; that only Mary still wrote to me from the north of England. I tried to ignore the dull pang that accompanied the thought."
Time for A maths game of timelines: The second book is seven months after the first.
I don't think the third book has stated amount of months but it's probably three months, the second book takes place in summer and we at the start of the Black Winter so it could be shorter or longer, but it's between two and four months so let's just with three.  Meaning that the Lucy is 10 months into her time at Lockwood & Co. It's doesn't really matter, but what does matter is this is the book where Holly is hired while Lucy is visiting family.

The fourth book four months after the third, so with the five being five months meaning that Lucy last saw at least some of her sisters nine months ago so not even a single year ago. I guess as we never saw anything from that visit, but I'm certain she mentions her strain relation with her siblings then. There are other thing we count too.

Lucy is fourteen at the start of the series. Lockwood and George are like fifteen. So are like fifteen and sixteen unless years are randomly skipped in the second books, making Holly two years older being 18 years old when she is introduced. Kipps is in his twenties at the start of the series and is  stated to be 22 in this book, meaning that two years is all the time that these books can take place in, meaning that Lucy has has not even lived years years without her sisters. Yes, she could be exaggerating, but she would be exaggerating if she said she hadn't seen any of them in year. Lucy doesn't even mention her sister in the last book or the second, they literally only show up for background and plot, and yet Stroud can't even tract that. Lucy doesn't give care about her sisters. She doesn't even think about them when Lockwood tells her about his dead sister. Anyway, this is just a very long way of saying this bullshit. Obviously, there is also the time the books themselves take place (though the seven months of the first might be Lucy joint date). Let's give two months for the books themselves before the fifth book for case time, and we have twenty-one months a.k.a. a year and nine months. Maybe you want to add another month to that case time, but it's still not even twos years.

This is just a very long way of saying that you have to set up relationships, maybe even name her sisters or family. Or just stick to her being closed to the only named sister she has. I don't own the books, so I'm reliant on my memory and reviews, with some internet checking for this timeline. It's probably best because that was probably too much effect for this bit already.

So now Holly Munro who has darker skin than every other character (it's never more specific, she has smooth hair so it could mean a lot of things), was introduce Three books in, to cause a wedge in the group, cause Lucy be jealous that maybe Lockwood would want an older women, but fear not. Lockwood is not her "type" and there are other options, she also shares a flat with another girl. There is so many things. Well, having diversity is automatically great right? No, not when diversity is literally a single person who never clarified, just ambiguous. Sure, this is a kids book (with Late teens and twenty-somethings characters ), but better rep exists in the same age group. Holly being gay feels like it so she doesn't get in the way of the other ships, because Lockwood and Lucy being endgame.
Also Holly was into Lucy going off the last book, not sure why she would still be at that points since Lucy is a troll, not in appearance, but in soul. Falling in Lust with terrible straight people is totally a thing for gay girls, but come on Holly, Lucy would have to be supermodel hot for that to happen, or Holly needs psychological help. The main issue is Holly Munro is the constant token.

The world building is interesting, but certainly isn't perfect. I mean we did never learn why the evil company decided to have a unicorn for symbol. I guess shitty world building and the whole Great Britain Crest thing. Though, what was with the Lamps as symbol as well.

Overall, I give this book 3/5 stars for Deadly Magic. The Plot and the world is still majorly better than the characters. Though, a bit rushed and not fully answered questions that I would have liked. The characters are such major pain and so samely the more time I spent with them, they're be tolerable if they were just bland, instead of Arseholes. Once again this children series where I wouldn't give them to children. I mean if grown arse adult capable of questioning characters' shitty behaviour, why not read this series?

I will be back with a video review of all the whole series. It will be doubtfully be fun.

Quotes:
P11, "Like the rest of us, she was in stealth mode: she had her long dark hair clipped back in a ponytail, and wore a zip-up top, skirt and leggings. I could go on about how well the all-black get-up suited her, but why bother? With Holly, that was a given. If she'd gone around wearing nothing but a dustbin suspended from her shoulders by a pair of spotty braces, she'd have somehow made it look svelte."

Page 13, "'You've heard of racism. You've heard of Sexism. Well, this is skullism, pure and simple. You're judging me by my outward appearance. You doing my word solely because I'm a skull lurking in a jar of slime-green plasm. Admit it!'" The skull is meant to be a bad person but someone sat down and wrote this.

Page 75,"[George speaking] 'Holly, you look upset. Crack those doughnuts open.'
'Thanks, I'll have an apple.'
He shook his head sadly. 'You've got to learn that when you're stressed, an apple doesn't cut it... I feel quite shaken myself, come to think of it.' His eyes flitted to the sideboard.
'Yes, grab the plates, George,' Lockwood said. 'We'll all have one.
And we all did, even Holly. George was wise in such matters: a doughnut was a good corrective".

Page 78-79, "Holly met it as she did all obstacles: with brisk efficiency that looked a problem in the eye and didn't blink. Whether it was breaking into the Fittes Mausoleum or standing up to interrogation in the street, she always maintained her trademark Munro cool. It was hard to imagine her ever losing this quality, and somehow, despite everything, that made me confident that nothing really dreadful could or would happen in this world. Her unflappable demeanour used to make me seethe, yet now I found it a source of reassurance. Come what may, I knew Holly's hair would swish like gossamer as she walked; her clothes would flow effortlessly round her curves; her skin would glow with that same coffee-coloured lustre that spoke of close association with mineral water and green-been salads, and contrasted, reprovingly, with my famous burger-and-biscuit complexion. No, Holly would always be the same, and that made me happy." Okay, but she still obsessed with the way Holly looks. She goes on discrible George and "His doughy, featureless face lacked signposts to a personality, let alone a strong opinion." So he looks stupid but isn't, is her whole point.

P169, "My sister Mary gave me the money to make one go once...'
 'Didn't know you had a sister, the skull said.
'I've got six.' I didn't mention that I hadn't seen any of them for years; that only Mary still wrote to me from the north of England. I tried to ignore the dull pang that accompanied the thought." Okay Holly shows up in the third book, and was hired when Lucy had went to visit family including sisters meaning that she has seen some of them less than a year.

P314, "From the expression on her face I expected trade-mark Flo diatribe at this point, but she just went quiet, nodded and slipped away into the garden. When Lockwood really wanted something, it was very hard for anyone to say no."

P318, "The basement had long been our main concern, Again, the front of the house was theoretically vulnerable. It was true that our office window opened directly onto the sunken yard below our front door. Steps led down here from the gate and, though dead plants in big pots filled the space, intruders easily reach the windows. However, after a burglary years before, we had added iron bars to these, and it was hard to see how they could be bypassed. This meant we all focus our attention on the back.
At the rear of the office, past the rapier practice room, the storeroom and the laundry room, you came to back door. It was made of glass, and opened straight onto the grass of the garden. Of all parts of the house, this door was the weakest point. Kipps put a series Of boards across the opening, but we doubted they'd survive."

Page 326, "'Anything would be better than getting chopped into pieces by a group of smelly relic-men,' Kipps said. 'No offence intended there, Flo - you've a girl. Come on, Lockwood - what's the plan?'

Page 354, "'Oh, don't worry about that. We've talked about that before.' She pushed her hair back from her face. 'I'm sure I was an utter pain as well. Anyway, it must have been odd, having me show up.'
'It was a bit, but—'
'But you needn't have worried.' She smiled at me. 'Funnily enough, Lockwood isn't actually my type.'
In my embarrassment, I'm not sure quite what expression was right then, though I doubt the eerie glow in the room made it massively attractive. It was sufficient to make Holly laugh. She moved to look through another spy-hole at the far end of the window, which gave a different angle on the garden.
'Don't look so shocked, Lucy,' she said. 'I know how you feel about him. But, if anything, I had my eye on someone else.'
'Good God, you don't mean George?'
Holly laughed again; her eyes sparkled as she glanced at me sidelong. 'You must know there are other possibilities in this world,' The smile faded, her body tensed. 'Hold it — we've got company out there.' "

"She likes having her own place. Did you know she got a flatmate? A girl who works at the DEPRAC. That was news to me.' Lockwood about Holly.

Book Review: The Screaming Staircase by Jonathan Stroud

I too hunted Ghosts when I was Young.

For more than fifty years, the country has been affected by a horrifying epidemic of ghosts. A number of Psychic Investigations Agencies have sprung up to destroy the dangerous apparitions.

Lucy Carlyle, a talented young agent, arrives in London hoping for a notable career. Instead she finds herself joining the smallest most ramshackle agency in the city, run by the charismatic Anthony Lockwood. When one of their cases goes horribly wrong, Lockwood & Co. have one last chance of redemption. Unfortunately this involves spending the night in one of the most haunted houses in England, and trying to escape alive.

Set in a city stalked by spectres, The Screaming Staircase is the first in a chilling new series full of suspense, humour and truly terrifying ghosts. Your nights will never be the same again . . .

A group of Twelve Year olds (Okay, I think they might be slightly older than that, but I forget, they roughly that age. Update 29/11/2018, they actually meant to be 15/16) are the only Ghost Fighting Company that has no adults. In this world Ghosts are dangerous, can kill you if they touch you but Children are the only one who can see/sense them fully, meaning adults are basically useless when fighting them. It's not made clear how old you are when you lose your ability to sense ghosts fully (adults can feel them, but can't hear or see them. The powers vary between the kids). I imagine it will come up in the future books. 

The Premise alone is pretty good. The kids only being able to see them is a bit kid-ful but this is children's book and they has to be a reason why the government would be chill with kids fighting ghosts in this world.The feel that there's something else going with that. It's also a kids book with a Murder Mystery which always fun.

The mystery side is done pretty well and is on a higher level than some of the thrillers that I have read aimed at an older audiences (there are adult mystery books that don't even try). It has quite similarity to popular mystery tropes and urban legends (also real life cases with something similar have happened. Also an Angel Episode), but this is aimed at kids and someone has to introduce them to the stapes. Also it's done really well.

This book is told in first person by Lucy Carlyle, the newbie to the organisation which works fine. It is kinda slow getting into this book. There is a lot to introduce and there is a lot flashbacks. It someone what expective when you're setting up 50 years of history and a made up industrial. I think it set now but there's also something old fashioned about this world. I guess ghosts and different technology developments and maybe I don't play enough attention to remember.

The world building is decent. The rules of the ghosts are set up pretty quickly and we get different level of ghosts so there's stakes. It's an alternative time line thing where ghosts made themselves known 50 years ago, so basically everyone has grown up with ghosts being a dangerous thing and the things to deal with them have been established, like special street lights and building water cannels because ghosts are vampires apparently.

There's three main characters: Lockwood, Lucy and the fat one. That's not his name, but that his characterisation with being obsessed with food and being described as chubby, so not great on Plus Size representation. I need to look up his name, it was George Cubbins...great last name choice. He's also would rather do research than jump into danger so he spends a lot time inactive too. Of course, research is skill that will last into adult hood and will always be usefully for hunting ghosts so jokes on the others. George is also unlikable, as our POV Lucy and him do not get along. It was the only thing that puts me off this series. Hopefully, the characters will all show more depth. Lockwood has some mysterious past and I remember nothing being said about George's background so I guess we're see. Being in Lucy's head mean we know the most about her, she works pretty well as our narrator and action hero.Though, something I don't quite love is that she hates on "Pretty girls", she straight says she doesn't like girls based on her looks, one of these was the victim. Maybe she'll grow as person, but this is a kids book and it's not resolved in this one, a kid might never get their hands on more of the series. Lucy knows she doesn't like girl who are "prettier" than her, but she fine with this as if not a bad trait to be prejudice against someone, and she is the audience replacement character in terms of being introduced into the company, in a book aimed at children. This such a toxic thing that girls are socialised to do, so if not going to be character development moment in the book it's introduced, then just don't. Especially, as Lucy has no girl friends and the other girls in the books are either dead or an antagonist. Stroud is a man (and as always socialise as one to my knowledge) so this is especially not a great look for him. Yes, woman writers do this as well but that's their own society bullshit to deal with. I know men do the same thing to other men. It's just an odd and dangerous trait to give as one of the defining characterisation of your main character.

Overall, I give this book 4/5 stars for ghost touching. I am going to continue with the series, if the plot sounds like your jam then you should definitely pick this book up.

 So I read this book over a month ago so not the best way to write reviews and I read like 20 books since reading this so I've not been great with details.

I also read the novelle The Dagger in the Desk, it's a bit weak, but it was written I think in a tight deadline and was written as pact of a thing where fans/children picked out the elements of the story. It's just a short thing and a audio version of it is currently online for free so worth listening to if you like the first book which you should definitely read before the novelle. 

Book Review: The Ghost of Helen Addison by Charles E. McGarry

I can't be arsed to do an opening comment.

LEO MORGAN - connoisseur, private investigator, seer of visions - sets out from the splendid isolation of his Glasgow apartment to solve the homicide of a young woman at Loch Dhonn in Argyll. He arrives at a brooding, wintry landscape where he encounters a host of colourful characters, including the spectral murder victim himself. 

FRUSTRATED BY THE FORCES OF EVIL summoned up by the killer, Leo fails to make headway, and his pomposity and intemperance tests the patience of the police. Close to despair, he must draw on all of his powers to unmask the murderer before he himself becomes the next victim.

 This is a book I got from the library upon reconsigning it, it was an Halloween recommendation from them and I swear I also watched a video saying it was good but can't find it or remember who it was by.Also set in Scotland, therefore fun. Homophobic comments in the first 50 pages, therefore go away and die. Yeah, there's few issues with this book.

Funfact: It continues the accidental trend of me reading books during the time they set and this book is set between Janurary and whenever Ash Wednesday was. It changes. 

The plot is fine if not typical and cliché. It's the usual Satanism affair that adds nothing. Leo Morgan is a pretentious, hypocrite, catholic. I said his religion because he's goes on about it a lot. There's a thing about good and evil, with usual display of Satanism. Morgan is a psychic with confusing visions of the past.

This book is unenjoyablely male. All the woman are fuckable, victims or lesbians. Homophobic as hell. The only women that Leo doesn't fancy is describes as being masculine, that makes her lesbian and is terrible to her husband. Yeah she has a husband. Morgan also makes a gay friend, I would like Moran better if he was gay but he still unlikable dick who is obsessed with his own dick. He mentions his "Benjamin Franklin" three times. I don't why male writers put this shit in their books. Also it written in third person so it's the narrator that is talking about Morgan's penis, not Morgan himself making these observation. Why do I, the reader need to know that Leo Morgan has morning wood?

Morgan is described as being a good man by the ghost of the 20-something and tells him she would have sex with him if she was alive and single. What dumb bullshit. 

Like I said that book in third person, often with weird side comments which makes confusing whether it's Morgan thoughts or facts a.k.a. the lesbian comment. 

Overall, I give this book 3/5 stars for Idiot Barons. This is meant to be a start of series but I have too many issues to continues reading it. It just usual thriller with psychic detective thing going, no near the best one I've read. It bring nothing new to the table. The way talks about women puts me off and don't really care for another drunk older middle age man whose probably going to die alone. I guess if you're a older middle age man then you would love this book but if you're not and you hate all that shit then probably skip this one.

Book Review: The Upstairs Room by Kate Murray-Browne

Ignoring clear signs of a haunting is bound to get you into trouble.

Eleanor, Richard and their two young daughters recently stretched themselves to the limit to buy their dream home, a four-bedroom Victorian townhouse in East London. But the cracks are already starting to show. Eleanor is unnerved by the eerie atmosphere in the house and becomes convinced it is making her ill. Whilst Richard remains preoccupied with Zoe, their mercurial twenty-seven-year-old lodger, Eleanor becomes determined to unravel the mystery of the house’s previous owners – including Emily, whose name is written hundreds of times on the walls of the upstairs room.

This book is about a haunted house, but its not a horror book. It more about the characters and the effect that the house has on people.

The point of view changes amount the adults of the house. Its feel more like the women's story though.We have characters lives mirror each other, but made different choice. It was an interesting exploration.

The writing is third person, with focus point of view changing every chapter (I think). I enjoyed the writing style.

The ending is very anti-climatic. It was the natural conclusion of the book, but if you're ghost fan you might be a tad disappointed. This a character driven so the plot isn't really focus,

Overall, I give 4/5 stars for annoying neighbours. This is a odd match of a haunted house story with character study where choices lead you. I enjoyed it, if you into character stuff and more about the stain a haunting would have on the inhabits, this is the novel for you.

I got this book for Review from Netgalley and its being published by Picador on 27 July 2017.
 

Book Review: Glimpse by Kendra Leighton

This is actually the second book inspired by Alfred Noyes’ The Highwayman and only read it with this book.

The highwayman came riding –
Riding – riding –
The highwayman came riding, up to the old inn-door

Liz just wants to be normal. Her life is anything but.

Seven years ago Liz lost her mother and ten years’ worth of memories. When she inherits the infamous Highwayman Inn, she hopes the move will be a fresh start. Then she meets Zachary. Zachary who haunts her by night and in dreams; who makes her question everything she is and wants to be; who seems scarcely real – yet makes her feel so alive.

 I like the plot of this book. It also takes the stance of that seeing ghost would actually be a pain in the arse. The way the ghost work is a interesting take with just a parts of them being visible and more of overwhelming feeling when they're present. I think that was probably my favourite part of the book.

The character were all quite distinct but the plot does relay too much on characters being basically insane. Liz's issues with her mother was good addition. The romance was alright, I'm never person to ask about this so it all I can think to say.

The plot is okay, there a few things that let it down. Liz is bit too clueless in the name of the plot and
 the ending is a bit dodgy in the moral sense. I can't say anything else about that without it being a major spoiler.

Overall, I gave this book 3 out of 5 stars for bowls of bones. The ghost are awesome but there was one rule I didn't get. Things were a bit slow and there was a few plotholes such as why did certain characters do the bidding of a certain character in the first place. It is worth a read if you're into ghost and sort of retelling of poems.

I got this off NetGalley for review. It published by Much-in-Little

Book Review: Don't even Think about by Sarah Mlynowski

We write reviews as group now. Some of us liked this book.

Imagine if EVERYONE could hear your thoughts: your best friend, your worst enemy, your secret crush...

This is the story of how we became freaks. It's how a group of I's became a we.

When Class 10B got their flu shots, they expected some side effects. Maybe a sore arm. Maybe a headache. They definitely didn't expect to get telepathy. But suddenly they could hear what everyone was thinking. Their friends. Their teachers. Their parents. Now they all know that Tess has a crush on her best friend, Teddy. That Mackenzie cheated on Cooper. That Nurse Carmichael used to be a stripper. Some of them will thrive. Some of them will break. None of them will ever be the same.

This book is interesting as it technically wrote as first person but it come across as third person as it group people talking about themselves but there is certainly main character. I did take me a few chapters to get use to them talking as a "we".

There is probably like five main ones that we learn a lot about. We do hear about the others but not to the same extent. There are all quiet distinctive, a good effect has made to make them all them different. They have different family backgrounds dealing with cheating, OCD and other stuff. You like them on different levels but they all feel like real people.

The actual telepathy is interesting interpretation. I liked the rules of it, but did wonder why the connection with eyes. I also liked the fact that they developed aesthetic symptoms from the flu shots. It did dive into all the awkwardness that would come with classroom of teenagers being able to read minds.

Overall, I gave this book 4 of 5 stars for purple speckles. This is the start of a series and I would definitely continue with it. Best thing I've read with mind readers yet.

I got this book off Netgalley for review. Its published by Orchard Books and is out now.