Book Review: The Child by Fiona Barton

Book CW: Child abduction; Death of a Baby; Rape, Rape drugged; sexual assault; child abuse; paedophilia (a young teenager); sexual crime ring; consent issues; child grooming; grooming; mental illness from trauma; parental negotiate. 

People are the worst.

When a paragraph in an evening newspaper reveals a decades-old tragedy, most readers barely give it a glance. But for three strangers it’s impossible to ignore.

For one woman, it’s a reminder of the worst thing that ever happened to her.

For another, it reveals the dangerous possibility that her darkest secret is about to be discovered.

And for the third, a journalist, it’s the first clue in a hunt to uncover the truth.

The Child’s story will be told.

This is the second book by Fiona Barton and the second following old school reporter Kate Waters, now on to another case. I did review the first one. This time the body of a baby is found. This book deals with just as heavy subjects as the last book (hence the content warnings). I think pretty well, revalent to real-world events so not a great book for escapism.

Because we've given three POV almost from the start, you know there's a reason why we're hearing these two women. Obviously, Kate Waters is a reporter and slowly come across the other two and their connection to the baby. Once again, I wouldn't call this a thriller, because it's mostly characters reflecting back and there's no urgency to what is going on, besides the slow death of Journalism. Kate is the only one whose present day is the big factor of this story. This for people who like fictional crime cases and exploration of characters dealing with consequences far after the fact.

This deals with lots of characters including ones who are very unlikable. I don't think I really connected to these characters as people, which is not an issue for me. Maybe if I had that would have added stars.

I listened to the audiobook version of this book, as read by Finty Williams, Steven Pacey, Adjoa Andoh, Clare Corbett and Fenella Woolgar. This book had a bigger cast with three main voice actors, Clare Corbett is back the Kate Waters character I think. The cast was good, and distinct from each other.

Overall, I give this book 4/5 stars for Journalist Ethics. Once again a well-crafted novel; I am planning on listening to the next book in the series, I'm curious about how that will go with it being set in another country from these ones.

Finished reading 5th January 2020, Reviewed 8th January 2020.

Book Review: Haunt Me by Liz Kessler

Reading books because they remind me of trashy "reality" tv shows.

Erin wants to face the future. 
Joe is desperate to remember his past.
Olly only ever lives for today.

When love weaves its dangerous magic around their lives, each of them face their own demons.

And as the past catches up with them, it comes down to the ultimate question...

Would you swap Love for Life itself?

I presumed this book was about ghosts, and luckily it was actual ghosts, not the mental ghosts of your past. Well, all the characters are meant to have those as well. This tries to deal with a lot of things including suicide, mental illness and drug abuse, none really that successful. This book feels very old school YA, mostly in the negative ways. It's okay, there was a point that annoyed me enough that I almost quit the book (chapter 10, anyone?) and then I remember that I choose to watch 'A Haunting'

So I should probably just let this stupidity go and I was only reading to fulfil my trashy need for terrible ghost stories, whether people claim they're real or not. My main problem, was that it very passive of the main character and was done to quickly move on the plot without thinking about the meaning or the why. I mean if this had been A Haunting episode then a demon would have suddenly appeared and that would be more entertaining. Do you know how hard it is to find someone to bless your house? Yeah, neither do I, but a day is just so quick.

Erin and Joe are soulmates because they write and have/had no friends. Their poetry is littered through the book, I'm not really a poetry person anymore but I definitely believe that the poems were written by two sixteen-year-olds, and maybe if I was sixteen too I would think they were great.

Erin is "not like other girls" so that's great. In her deference, she does not describe herself as that, but it's still a line in the book. It could be read that the other love interest Olly is just a dimwit who never dated anyone for their personality before. The book is told from the POV of the different angles of the love triangle: Erin the Sad Girl, Joe the Ghost and Olly the Alive Brother. I never felt deeply for anyone or anything, obviously only one of the romances is healthfully viable and even then I felt like it should have been a case where everyone moves on.

Erin had been in car accident in the past that took months of recovery but has no side effects of this and her injuries are never explained other than she had access to painkillers at one time. This would have happened four years ago during the main events of the novel, it's possible that she surfers no long term injuries or they won't effect till she is older but it would have been nice to see physical issues since so few books have physically disabled characters. It's nice that the psychological issues are acknowledged from suffering a traumatic incident like this, except it's very much for plot.

We have Mean Girl Zoe, Zoe that no one likes but is somehow popular. At least Zoe isn't just some flat sociopathic sadist stereotype that targets the main character for no reason and actually has some motivation for what she doing. She also described as being vain, obsessed with social media and image. So she is better than most stereotypical mean girls but she is still flat, plot driven character and still in lines with being a stereotype, just better than the other ones you can find.
Her actions at the end don't really make sense, unless she lied, but why would you want a rumour like that getting out about you.

Bullying and suicide are big theme in this book. I don't think they dealt with well, or terribly. They are used as plot. Erin is introduced immediately as having had a bad time which caused her family to move. Joe is this young guy who didn't seem to have any friends and wrote poems, so suicide did immediately spring to mind. I can't really comment on the impact of bully because I'm always like why do you care what dimwits think about you? I had people call me stupid names but it was very whatever, my nature means that unless it get physical or they get you into trouble it's hard for me to relate to characters that get so obsessed with it. The bit where its used for straight up plot I do take issue with. It's very sudden and lazy.

There is 26 chapters in this book. The POV changes within the chapters and the chapters just seem to end really randomly. Like the chapter will end but we're in the same scene and nothing dramatic will have happen to justify the chapter end. I'm not sure what the logic was behind this choice.

This is almost 400 pages and the plot is slow and steady and then at hyper-spreed twice in the book.
The ending was bit rushed, I feel like Erin would have had more defences up realistically meaning that ending didn't feel earned for me, even with it being established that she had past of doing what she did.

Overall, I give this book 3/5 stars for wallpaper. This is a books with tons of popular 00s tropes released in 2016. I wouldn't say it's harmful, but it's not a powerfully story and I doubt it will stay with me for long.

Book Review: The Creeper Man by Dawn Kurtagich

 nn

There's a man in the trees, a man with no eyes, but still he watches, that's the surprise. Stay away from the woods, it couldn't be clearer, but the trees are creeping nearer and nearer...

Beware the creeper man.

This is Kurtagich's second novel, her first being The Dead House (which I have reviewed). With both titles of this book, you get what it's about: The Creeper Man, The Trees Creep In. Trees are spooky, the woods have something in them or do they?

This one also plays with formatting. Having different perspectives being written on different things, and in different ways.  Also creepy poetry which everyone loves. The narrative is done well and it pretty clear who writing from text alone.

There's only four characters that appear in the actual novel, other characters are mentioned or appeared sort of flashbacks (though, those are more fairy tales, than actually placing the reader in the past). We also have a Silent Character in the sister of the protagonist, while we do hear from Nori's POV, the story is definitely Silla's story, so no there will be no Silent Protagonist Review of this book. Maybe in a bonus round. It never made clear why Nori can't physically talk, can sign and write, and I can't decide if the implication is enough or not. Aunt Cath is also there. The thing I don't think I can really discuss the characters or their relationships with each other without spoilers. There's interesting stuff there.

This is set in the future, something about War. Not really sure why, especially when technology is so not in this book that it could be set in before World War II and no difference. Maybe life is a circle. Probably meant to keep the reader off-balance. Also all horror books must at one point takes place in the 80s. It's the current law.

Overall, I give this book 4/5 stars for Rotten Apples. This a creepy book with a cool concept and you will definitely ponder on The Creeper Man.

Book Review: We Are Young by Cat Clarke

This book continued the trend of YA coma books I'm reading.

Three People died

and no one's asking why.

But I need answers.

I have to find out

what really happened 

that night.

Back once again with another Cat Clarke book, this time the actual year of publication. Reviews of most of her books can be found here. I found Cat Clarke by her YA debut and I have followed her since. She an auto-buy author. Basically, I really like her writing and have high expectation of her.

This book does involve a band and the main character really like playing music, but it not really a music book. They only have gig practices and only pop artists are named. I mention because someone else said they thought the vinyls indicated it as a heavy music book. No, they broken vinyls that the thing to play attention to and obviously to match Clarke's other books.

Evan Page is suspicious about her Stepbrother's car accident that involved four people that didn't belong to the same circle. Basically, this is a murder mystery involving drugs and spoilery things. I did miss that Evan's last name was Page so I was real confuse when people would call her that. Did she go through a name change and it was somehow not picked up in certain places during the revisions. Nope, I'm just Dyslexic.

Characters and their relationships with each other play a big part. Different families dynamic are explored within Evan own family  and her interactions with the families of those in the car, as she tries to solve the mystery of why.

Within the Band, there is a triangle of Exs with Evan at the centre. Evan is bi, Sid and Daze are friends and that events of the novel explore her feeling towards them. It's a nice addiction. I like it.

This book deals with a lot, most of it going into spoilers. (I do Trigger warnings in my labels). Clarke manages to handle all these well. The ending is slightly preachy, but also was a coherent and is a satisfying ending. With it being a hard subject, there no real satisfying ending of this book.

Overall, I give this 5/5 stars for Earned Guitars. In terms of mystery, I never guess exactly what was going to go down, which I often do and the writing is good as usual. Cat Clarke continues to breaks hearts. Breakfast Tim will stay with me and I will wonder about his career.

I got this book for Review off of NetGalley and is being published by Quercus Children's Books on 3rd of May 2018.

Book Review: The Girls in the Garden by Lisa Jewell

Wet suites are so in.

Imagine that you live on a picturesque communal garden square, an oasis in urban London where your children run free, in and out of other people's houses. You've known your neighbors for years and you trust them. Implicitly. You think your children are safe. But are they really? On a midsummer night, as a festive neighborhood party is taking place, preteen Pip discovers her thirteen-year-old sister Grace lying unconscious and bloody in a hidden corner of a lush rose garden. What really happened to her? And who is responsible?

This book is also known as just 'The Girls', that is a bit generic so probably why they changed between countries.  This is the second book I've read and reviewed by Lisa Jewell.

There was a lot of characters to keep up with; there being a gang of kids and their respective parents. The POV changes focus staying in third person with letters from Pip to her father mixed in.

The setting is a bit interesting as it takes place in a private park, which we rarely leave, that connect the flats to each other. Also a strong sense of community as lot of the characters have know each other for decades and from childhood. With strain of new comers adding a flare.

In the start it was a bit confusing when "the sisters" were being discussed as there are two lots of sisters. I don't know if this because I listened to the audiobook and I wasn't listening at the right speed for me. Another audiobooks note is that there's is reference to pictures, that do appear in the novel, which I acquired the ebook of to check these. The Map is the only one that usefully but you don't need them for the story so the audiobook is a fine way to consume this story.

There's was two mysteries under running this story and we only get underwhelming solutions. Lots of red herrings and suspects. Some of it was weird and like hur? It works through and was okay. I wasn't that invested in some of the characters but I did feel for Pip's mother coming into this environment. 

Overall, I give this book 3/5 stars for plastic bags. This was alright thriller and enjoyed listening to it.  I think I prefer Then She Was Gone better. But if you like Lisa Jewell's other works you should like this at least.

Book Review: Devotion by Ros Barber

The cover is better than the book.

April is angry. Only nineteen, April is an elective mute, accused of a religiously motivated atrocity.  Dr Finlay Logan is broken, a borderline suicidal criminal psychologist, still reeling from his daughter's death. He must assess her sanity in a world where - ten years after the death of Richard Dawkins - moves have been made to classify religious believes as a form of mental illness. 
Both April and Finley struggle to understand what happened to them

Asking fundamental questions about the nature of reality, Barber skilfully explores the balance between the emotional and rational sides of human experience. 

Sharing Secrets, silence and inability to deal with the world around them. Gently unpicking the lives of these broken characters.

This book was disappointing. I read this book mainly because Skulls and 'Elective Mutism'. Skulls on the cover and it's cool cover. Makes senses with the actual plot. There's no Elective Mutism in this book or the more modern term of Selective Mutism. It's always fun where stories set in the future have outdated terms. Even acknowledging the old definition, it's used just to be smart more than describing April; who is deciding not to speak to her count appointed Psychologist, Logan who will decide her whether she insane or not.

Going off the description, I thought it would be a dual protagonists, but it's very much Logan's story and the effect he will have on April's final outcome. This puts me in the awkward situation as I read this as part of the silent protagonist review video series I'm doing. I have seen better summaries that rightly focus on Logan. Moving on.

So Logan is a bland, male that cheats and has done terrible things to woman and his children.

The prose is fine. I didn't think about it until I seen other people talking it. It has that whole literature thing going on. It's fine.

The plot is half-arsed questioning god, but also not really. Its end up being more about choices and the whole butterfly effect thing again. Its deals with mental heath and with several characters having bad mental health. Though, they all have had fucked up stuff have happened to them. This book raises questions to abandoned them. It's fine. The classifying religion as mental illness, only deals with the type fundamentalism that involves blindly killing yourself for the cause; that's badly defined and go against your actual religion's beliefs so probably should be.

Overall, I give this book 3/5 stars for ill-advise charity events. This book brings nothing new to the table but is also not terrible. I probably would have enjoyed it more if I hadn't had such mislead ideas about what it was about. It's fine. There's nothing to rave for or against. If you like the idea, go for it.

Book Review: Submarine by Joe Duntorn

Starting October with the Horror of Pretentious Teenage Boys.

Meet Oliver Tate, fifteen years old. Convinced that his father is depressed ('Depression comes in bouts. Like boxing. Dad is in the blue corner') and his mother is having an affair with her capoeira teacher ('a hippy-looking twonk'), he embarks on a hilariously misguided campaign to bring the family back together. Meanwhile, he is also trying to lose his virginity - before he turns sixteen - to his pyromaniac girlfriend Jordana. Will Oliver succeed in either aim? Submerge yourself in Submarine and find out . . .

No, I never did find out why this book is called submarine.  This opens greatly and has a lot of good one liners, especially towards the start but after page 200 (the edition I read was 290 pages) I was done with Oliver. Especially, as all of the plot stuff that this novel has was completely resolved (or as much as it gets in this novel). If I liked Oliver as a person or character, then maybe those 90 pages of pointlessness would have been fun. 

Oliver is realistic teenage boy, the sort I personally would hated even as a teenager. His actions make him so unlikable and never learns from his actions. He's really immature for a fifteen, he comes across as thirteen. Sure, they are people like that, but I don't want to read about them. Though, I still want to watch the movie. Less about this book, more to do with who was involved in making it. 

This book has mental illness, relationships in trouble and the teen hormones that lead to what that usually does. It's just there. If you want a glimpse into the life of really annoying person. 

The writing style is meant to be a diary but also obviously breaks that format a lot. Oliver is pretentious so there's some attempt at depth and Dunton manages to capture that pretentious voice of a 15 year old boy that needs to grow up.

Overall, I give this book 2/5 stars for shoe stealing. I don't the main character so I didn't like the book, that's the risk with character driven characters. I didn't anything from this. I don't know who this book is for, teenage boys you want to throw off a bus?

Book Review: Countless by Karen Gregory

Love is random fling on street corners.

'Is there anything that's concerning you?’ Felicity says. ‘College, home, boyfriends?' Though she's more or less smiling at this last one.

I don't smile. Instead, I feel my face go hot. Silence stretches as wide as an ocean.
When I look up, Felicity has this expression on her face like she's just seen Elvis. Slowly, she leans forward and in a gentle voice I've never heard her use before she says, 'Have you done a pregnancy test?'

When Hedda discovers she is pregnant, she doesn’t believe she could ever look after a baby. The numbers just don’t add up. She is young, and still in the grip of an eating disorder that controls every aspect of how she goes about her daily life. She’s even given her eating disorder a name – Nia. But as the days tick by, Hedda comes to a decision: she and Nia will call a truce, just until the baby is born. 17 weeks, 119 days, 357 meals. She can do it, if she takes it one day at a time …[Check if same]

I found this book randomly on the buy one get one free at Waterstones and picked up several times before buying. I'm really glad I did. This is honest heart breaking novel and does so many things well.

Relationship play such a big part of this novel and they are done brilliantly. 
The romance in this book is done very realistic. Its more about their friendship and isolation they both have from their different situations. I loved both Robin and Hedda as individuals and just wanted them both to be happy. Family plays a big part in the story as Hedda has complex relationships with her parents and sister, having practically been kicked out the family home, then realising she pregnant, the responsibility of motherhood comes on her shoulders. We also have Hedda's unit friends that she sees herself reflected and having strong friendships with makes the situation complicated. 

This is an own voices book and I think you can tell when someone has given a character their own battles. I have never suffered from an eating disorder, but I can tell what an honest portrayal of mental illness and how hopeless your inner struggles can be, so there were parts I related. Did I bawl my eyes out? Yes, several times. Near the end I couldn't stop. Crying is good for your mental health, you should read this book and try it out (though, if you triggers you, pick someone else tragedy to do it with). There are no quick fixes with mental health and it nice seeing that portrayal as so many YA books go for the quick magical fix of Romance or miracle clue. I know that's a slight spoiler, but it such a big selling point to this book for me.

This book is written so well. Its from Hedda point of view, upon the day of realisation of new situation. Hedda feels like such a real person, in her bad and good moments.

Overall, I give this book 5/5 stars for mound filled corners. This is one of the few times where reviewing a book made me it rate it higher. This is definitely one of the best books I've read this year.

Buy:

Book Review: A Tragic Kind of Wonderful by Eric Lindstrom

Brown Hair, Blue eyes and freckles doesn't make you a mutt. It makes you Scottish...looking.

How can you have a future if you can’t accept your past?
Mel Hannigan doesn’t have it easy. Mourning the death of her firework of a brother, trying to fit back into a school she’s been conspicuously absent from and struggling to deal with the loss of three friendships that used to mean everything. Struggling to deal with a condition that not even her closest friends know about.

So Mel tries to lock away her heart, to numb the highs and lows, to live quietly without hope – but also without pain. Until someone new shows her that it can be worth taking a risk, that opening up to life is what can make it glorious…

And that maybe, Mel can discover a tragic kind of wonderful of her very own.

The main character Mel has Bipolar Disorder and is in her second year of knowing she has it. This book does spend a lot of time going over what Bipolar disorder is and shows several characters with it that vary from Mel. I think a decent effect was made with this.

They were breaks from realities such as Mel going about being a freak for having very normal look aspects. Honestly, it was weird that she thought it was odd to have Blue eyes and pale skin, therefore freckles. Like who told her green eyes had anything to freckles (If reading this, Eric Lindstrom where did you get this)? Then someone else then mentions her appearance in this same detail. I think writers do fall in this trap sometimes.

So this is technically a romance book, but that's not really what I would sell it as and for me that's a good thing. I feel like it there because it has to be (old people set them up) and could have just been friends(I like friends). It fine though and definitely doesn't fall into the trap that 'love' cures all. There's a lot of friendships, there's a sprinkle of nice relationships throughout of the book, but I don't feel like the relationships were as developed as much as they should have been. Many they were too many things going on for the length of this book. There were lot of interesting dynamics, I think they could be in the one book and work, there's just wasn't enough dedication to them. I get why we did have so many characters with strong connections to Mel, I would have just liked more.

The novel is in the point of view of Mel, but I felt distanced to her and the other characters. They wrote well enough. I don't know if that due to the wall Mel has build surround her and the events we flashing back to a lot to, Or it could be I read it in one day because the world was on the bad side.

The title of this book is eye catching but it a bit generic and I don't think it suits the book that well. I have no alternative title suggestions so I'm the worst type of criticism bringer: says something is wrong and then runs away. 

Overall, I give this book 4/5 stars for beach beer.This book deals with mental illness well and has okay Bi, LBGT stuff floating about. This is a quick book to read, so I would recommend it if you like your light reads to have complex stuff going on. 

I got this book for review off NetGalley and was published by HarperCollins Children’s Books on 1st January 2017.

Book Review: All of the Above by Juno Dawson

Here's hoping for a circle of gay.

When sixteen-year-old Toria moves to the faded seaside town of Brompton-on-Sea, she doesn't expect to fall in love once - let alone twice. But life has a habit of pulling you in strange directions, and when it comes to matters of the heart, sometimes you just have to let go, be free, and let love choose you.

This novel is basically tumblr in the form of a book. The bad and the good. You have variety of sexuality and a over-judgemental sixteen year old who thinks she knows better but is really just a little shit. Toria and I didn't really get off on the best foot:

"It sort of feels good to have some order back in my life. Does that make me sound autistic?" Chapter 1, pg 12.  Great Start, Toria.  She also jokes to have other disorders. She also preaches at the reader and then does something problematic herself straight after. I guess this was a possibly intentional as people are flawed (there are 16 years old like this), if only her flaws weren't so annoying. Here are other quotes with my initial reactions: 

"Who says 'uni' any more, seriously?" Everyone you fucking c*nt. What else would they say?
"AMINE IS NOT CARTOONS." It is and there is nothing wrong with that. Though, Ice Age is on the terrible side of animation.

Toria just straight up says and does unlikable things. On her whole she doesn't bug me that much, but I do spend a lot of time on Tumblr and built up a tolerance to this type of hypercritical bullshit. I also do think it was Dawson's intention for her to be flawed, to make her realistic.

The other characters are band of misfits with their own issues. To be honest, their issues feel rather shallow and more to give Toria an interesting experience. Its a real pet peeve of mine for protagonists to learn from the suffering of their "friends". This is lessen by the fact, Toria herself adds to the diversity from the start of the book, being mix-race herself (which is good to see reflected in the cover). The thing is everyone does have something, but so many people are so open with what their deals are and weirdos do stick together. It just a level of openness not supported with the school environment presented. There is an actual love triangle in this book rather than the line typical in YA. It was overall okay and we get Bi characters that don't like labels. (This is a tumblr troop that I disagree with for personal and non-personal reasons).

The big problem with this book is that it features the "bury your "blank" trope, which was surprising from someone of that belongs to one these typical blank. The LGBTQA+ characters have fallen by this trope. Changing the G to another letter doesn't change that's its a "Bury your gays" moment. I am a queer, disabled person so I hate this trope with a passion, no matter the blank, but to see it under both main blanks was a big slap in the face. This a life lesson moment for the protagonist, it not about this character losing out on life. The reason this is a terrible trope, is that these labels under represented in media and its devastating when your only representation dies...repeatedly. Especially, as there are usually the only ones with that representation in the specific media. There's not enough of us to be so carelessly disregarded. Then there's we are always the villain trope that was really big in the last century... I can't say much more about this book version of the trope without just saying who it is, I'm just trying to distract you with tropes that the Disabled and LGBTQA+ both have together now. Though, feel free to tell me your favourite disabled (or disfigured), coded gay villain in the comments or just randomly tweet me their name.

Told by a reflective Toria (though not much) first-person and is split into the four seasons Autumn, Winter, Spring and Summer. The almost reflective thing didn't work well.

 Contemporary books can be a bit plot lost, though this wins with featuring a crazy golf course.

Overall, I give this book 4 out of five stars for hair dye. This book was not quite the circle of gay I was hoping for, but it was an okay light read (tons of possible triggering stuff though. I know I have odd sense of what a "light read" is). It tries to do a lot with representation, I don't know if maybe it too much to have in one book. It felt a little forced to me, but with the lack of diversity in YA maybe we do have to shove in as much as possible.Though, its still fails to be good representation.

Book Review: Beautiful Broken Things by Sara Barnard

Finally, a contemporary without the main character declaring her love...romantically.

Here’s my theory on Significant Life Events: everyone has them, but some have more than others, and how many you have affects how interesting you are, how many stories you have to tell, that kind of thing.

I was still waiting for my first one.

After yet another typical summer where nothing of any significance happens, Caddy vows that now she’s sixteen this year will be different; she’ll get a boyfriend (a real one), lose her virginity and experience a Significant Life Event. If only Caddy knew what was just around the corner - a whirlwind of wild spirit and fury with a dazzling smile and sad eyes by the name of Suzanne – and a significant life event that no one could have predicted.

Caddy and Rosie have been BFF’s since they were little girls, but when enigmatic and beautiful new girl Suzanne starts at Rosie’s school, Caddy allows her insecurities to threaten her friendship with Rosie. Caddy wishes she were more like Rosie and Suzanne – confident, funny and interesting – but beneath the make-up and bravado lies a secret side to Suzanne that intrigues Caddy. Despite their differences very soon the three girls are inseparable, and things get a whole lot more complicated.

Under Suzanne’s influence, Caddy begins to see how much fun a little trouble can be. But climbing out of bedroom windows for forbidden midnight walks on the beach begins to lose its shimmer as Suzanne’s troubled past is revealed and her present begins to unravel. The course of friendship and recovery is rougher than any of the girls could have imagined, and Caddy is about to learn that downward spirals have a momentum of their own.

The books opens with the character stating she wants to get a (first) boyfriend, lose her virginity, have a significant life event. This last one is confusing as wouldn't the two above it be significant life events? She listed them first. To be honest this is not a good start for me. However, the book gets a lot better.

Caddy is our narrator, she self-proclaimed as being boring and I don't know if this is the reason why she reads that way. There lot of discussion about self worth in this book and the two main characters both struggling with it. Except this not satisfying when both characters are flat and don't feel like real people at all. Caddy has nothing going on besides her best friend, Rosie and she doesn't like going out. She too much of a Mary Jane to be able to attach to her.

Whilst the relationship between the girls being the core of the in book, its not that great. The girls are sometimes terrible to each other for very little reason and never felt they cared that much about each other. I think it comes down to not buying the characters. Certain things are done well in their interactions. I don't know how the characters could feel more real and feel like they have a history. I think it just one of those things: it might just come down to my bad start with the book.

 This book deals with abuse and the mental consequences of suffering from it. This is the best part of the novel. Its about the aftermath after leaving the abuse. This done well and I think it manages to capture the mental state of the sufferer and how complex relationship with their abuser can be. 

The ending of this book is rather disappointing. The actual ending is okay and works, but the way we get to it is badly executed. The dialogue before it especially. It just too much on the nose.

Overall, I give this book 4/5 stars for sunflowers. The idea of this book is really solid and does manage to capture the complex nature of abuse. The girls' friendship could be better,especially as that meant to be the base for the novel. I would like to see a book with a similar focus on friendships and do think this a strong début. 

 I got this book for Review off Netgalley and it is being publish by  Children's Books on 11 February 2016.Macmillan

Short Story: Demons in my Head

Haló guys, so this another edited repost story. I've read a through some of them, I have realised that I don't like all of them but I guess it shows growth or something to repost those one as well. Still I decided to post one I do sort of like this week's, not like growing proud of it through. I don't think I do the subject matter well, mainly because I did no research to do it properly. I've changed certain words, rewrote parts of a sentences, corrected the spellings, put in missing words and put in whole new sentences.

This story was originally written for a contest where I was to write something based off a image and the story had to contained a quote. I think it was given out at random, but I also did contests where you picked the image. It came third in the contest, which was called So Morbid, So Lovely which how I sometimes think of my self. Here the imagine and the quote so off we go:

  Quote:“You're Crazy!” he said. I rolled my eyes, “Please, we prefer the term 'Mentally Unstable'.”

 Demons in my Head

Four padded white walls, four legs on this bed, four straps on this straight jacket and four of people who ain't there. Being alone only makes them more here. I wish they hadn't left me alone with no defence against the demons in my head

I laugh as I run from him, he chasing me to receive his stolen ipod. I had slipped his earphones out of his ears and started running with ipod tightly gripped in my hand. He would have caught me by now if he hadn't been half a sleep. He had been the fastest runner at our old school and still could out run me easily. He makes a grab for my hand but I avoid him by a inch. I'm starting to get out of breath and won't be able to run for much longer where as he still trains to be the best.

I jump on the brick wall that only gets higher as it goes on, he doesn't join me. I continue to run until a tree branch blocks my path. If it had been winter I could have gotten through but summer leaves have formed a thick wall. I would be fine, I'm well above him now, anyway. He can't reach me. I stop and try to repay my oxygen debt. He just stands there, staring up at me with chocolate brown eyes.

“Give me my ipod, Beth,” he says in a strict voice, trying to look mad but his eyes are betraying him. He's clearly amused.

“What in it for me, hur? What are you going to do for me, Adam?” I say as I wave the ipod above him, just out of his reaching point. He goes to grab it but misses miserably. I laugh at him. “Not until you do something for me.”

“Fine, I'll kid on to be your boyfriend while your sister in town but for the record I still think it's a bad idea.”

“Thank you, Adam. You're the best. You can have your ipod back now. Here catch” I kid on to throw the ipod down but before lowing it down by it's earphones. Adam grabs his ipod and starts to head back.

“Ain't you forgetting something,”

“What?” He says without turning towards me.

“Me!” I jump from the wall on to his back. He wobbles but manages to stay up right, grabbing my legs. He can take my weight easier, but him dropping me is a likely possibility.

“How could I ever forget about you?” He says pulling my arms from his neck, I fall on to the ground. “Oh, wait I didn't.” He laughs at my unladylike like position on the pavement .

“Shut up and give me your hand,” He obeyed me and pulls me up a bit hard. I hit his chest. Suddenly, things become tense, strange, I move back slightly to look up at him. I notice his lips and have a urge that I've never had before. I kiss him and ran down the tree covered path.

*

I don't know what happen. How or why I'm here but then it comes back, compressing my chest. So that I can no longer breath. The only people I've seen are the doctors and nurses. My sister came once but never again, she won't be back for me. None of my friends have came to visit me but who wants to visit the home of the insane. The memories of what really happen, come and go as they please. I only have them for company now. I wish I was alone. I wish Adam was here.

”I'm in this with you,” Adam said reassuringly as he pushed me further into the room. I regret agreeing to this. I probably would have ran by now if Adam didn't keep stopping me. I didn't want to see my sister and her fabulous fiancée, Francis. I hadn't met him yet but I already hated him.

“It might not be that bad,” he says kissing my cheek. He been doing a lot of that recently but we've been avoiding my kiss. I feel slightly braver and I walk fully into the posh restaurants. I could never afford to eat here but my sister says she paying, so I'm ordering the most expensive thing on the menu.

“Over here, Bethany.” I've been spotted. I turn around to see my sister waving us over. I take my time walking over there, squeezing Adam hand too tightly.

“Hello Baby Sister,” She is 3 years older than me but acts like it a century.

“Hi,” I reply inaudible to anyone who isn't part bat. I feel unconformable around her now, we were close as kids but she got weird once she went into High school and was worst after the accident.

We sat and ate dinner, we talk about pointless things like Kate's career and her wedding. She never asked how I was or how long Adam and I had been dating. She wasn't interested in me, I hadn't figured out her motive for wanting to see me but it became clear during desert.

“Well, BB...”

“Stop calling me that,” I was not letting her still call me that. I wasn't a baby any more.

“Okay,” She smiled her fake smile, “As I was saying, I have other motives than just sisterly love for wanting to see you.” Knew it, “I was wondering if you would give us, the family rings?”

“Don't ask stupid question,” I said smiley and happily, “Of course I won't.” Her fake smile vanished.

“Why not? You're never going to get married. Come on, you're don't even have a real boyfriend. So Adam what did she do make you agree? Pay you.”

“She didn't do anything but be great girlfriend. We're not pretending,” I love Adam even more at this moment. Kate rolled her eye.

“Come on, just give me the rings.”

“No, mum left them to me, you got basically everything else but I got the rings and I'm keeping them.” I said firmly.

“Fine then, I give you the jewellery box for them,”

“You broke the jewellery box by flowing it down the stairs.”

“It was cheap and worthless,”

“It was Grandma's, everything isn't about money Kathleen.”

“Mum didn't love you,” That was it. I picked up the glass and didn't even think. The red wine landed on Kate's face and would stain her white thousand dollar dress which she had been so happy to tell us at the beginning of the dinner.

“You're Crazy!” She screamed. I rolled my eyes,
“Please, we prefer the term 'Mentally Unstable'.”

And those were our parting words, I didn't know at the time but it was soon to become true.
I was on the path of becoming unstable.

It started with catching things in the corner of my eye, to seeing dark figures everywhere. Hearing people call my name when I was alone to full conversions with people who had no face. Adam was the first to noticed it, he dragged me to the doctors. They give me pills but things only got worse. I started to blank out and lose hours, even whole days. I had no idea what I had done in these hours. I woke up once to find a dead cat on my kitchen table.

I was finally committed after I went to Kate's wedding and cover her dress with animal blood. She paid for me to “attend” the home of the crazy rich and insanely famous. I joke but it horrible. I've been left, I haven't got better but I haven't got worse. I still know that I'm crazy, that they're not real.
They are my only company and since I tried to escape this morning, I won't be seeing anyone else for a while. I don't remember. I apparently attack a grand. So I'm in padded cell and Ray is banging against my head.

He the worse out of them all, he whispers bad things in my ears. I'm petty sure he the one who does the bad things too. I'm ignoring him but my defences are becoming weaker instead of better. I don't think I can hold on much longer, They'll take over. The demons in my head will be out soon.

Book Review: I was Here by Gayle Forman

I might of wrote this review whilst I still had tears in my eyes from reading this book.

This characteristically powerful novel follows eighteen-year-old Cody Reynolds in the months following her best friend's shocking suicide. 

As Cody numbly searches for answers as to why Meg took her own life, she begins a journey of self-discovery which takes her to a terrifying precipice, and forces her to question not only her relationship with the Meg she thought she knew, but her own understanding of life, love, death and forgiveness.

I always end up reading Forman's work in one sitting as I can't stop reading. I've ended up with sleepless nights because of her but luckily I started reading this book early in a day where I had nothing to tear me away from it. So it was only 1.50am by the time I finished.

Cory goes on this quest to figure out what pushed Meg to kill herself. There part was  mostly well done. However, I feel there are parts that were clearly misleading and slightly unbelievable that certain things didn't come up till the perfect point, especially after having actually read the whole book.

The characters and relationships were once again beautifully done. All the characters we come across have their purpose in the plot and Cory's journey but they're all feel real, like they have full back stories and their own lives going on.

This book is of course sad and I was crying my eyes out during the last chapters, but I actually felt kinda happy at the end. Maybe I just need a cry to relieve my stress levels. However, I find this book oddly life confirming. It deals with tragic topic as well as the grief that Meg's family and Cory go through so well.

This book's ending is great and that last sentences were the prefect way to end the story.

Overall, I gave this book 5 Stars of 5 for bus rides. I recommend this if you're doing a Read-a-Thon or if you need a purifying crying.

I got this off Netgalley for review. It being published by Simon and Schuster on 29th January 2015.

Book Review: Don't even Think about by Sarah Mlynowski

We write reviews as group now. Some of us liked this book.

Imagine if EVERYONE could hear your thoughts: your best friend, your worst enemy, your secret crush...

This is the story of how we became freaks. It's how a group of I's became a we.

When Class 10B got their flu shots, they expected some side effects. Maybe a sore arm. Maybe a headache. They definitely didn't expect to get telepathy. But suddenly they could hear what everyone was thinking. Their friends. Their teachers. Their parents. Now they all know that Tess has a crush on her best friend, Teddy. That Mackenzie cheated on Cooper. That Nurse Carmichael used to be a stripper. Some of them will thrive. Some of them will break. None of them will ever be the same.

This book is interesting as it technically wrote as first person but it come across as third person as it group people talking about themselves but there is certainly main character. I did take me a few chapters to get use to them talking as a "we".

There is probably like five main ones that we learn a lot about. We do hear about the others but not to the same extent. There are all quiet distinctive, a good effect has made to make them all them different. They have different family backgrounds dealing with cheating, OCD and other stuff. You like them on different levels but they all feel like real people.

The actual telepathy is interesting interpretation. I liked the rules of it, but did wonder why the connection with eyes. I also liked the fact that they developed aesthetic symptoms from the flu shots. It did dive into all the awkwardness that would come with classroom of teenagers being able to read minds.

Overall, I gave this book 4 of 5 stars for purple speckles. This is the start of a series and I would definitely continue with it. Best thing I've read with mind readers yet.

I got this book off Netgalley for review. Its published by Orchard Books and is out now.

Book Review: The Good Luck of Right Now by Mattrew Quick

I prefer to believe in Karma because then people get what’s coming to them.

Bartholomew Neil is thirty-nine and lost. He's lived his whole life, up till a few weeks ago, with his devoted mum, but now she has died Bartholomew has no idea how to be on his own. His grief counsellor, Wendy, says he needs to find his flock and leave the nest. But how does a man whose whole life has been grounded learn how to fly? So Bartholomew turns to Richard Gere, the man his mum adored from afar, in the hope he can offer some answers. In Bartholomew's letters to Richard Gere he explores philosophy and friendship, alien abduction and the mystery of women. The letters also reveal his heart-breaking need of a family, but when Bartholomew does manage to assemble a motley family of sorts, he seems to have taken on more than he bargained for . . .

This book is a character study so that what going on.

The characters are tad flat for my liking. Most of them feel one-dimensional except for Bartholomew. The other character were just supporting cast and even with Bartholomew he not very memorable.

It also features the teaching Buddhist with the main character being life-long catholic. There other weird stuff such as alien abduction.

This novel is in the format of letters to Richard Gere. This book is meant to be, being adapted into a movie so I’m hoping to they get Richard Gere to play Bartholomew mainly because it would be terrible casting and it would be confusing as hell if they keep the whole Richard Gere side to the book. Back to the point of the letters, this was done quite well as there is some lines of dialogue but Bartholomew (which is a hellish name to keep writing) keeps a note of interesting things that people say so that sort of works.

I’m not sure what I thought of the ending. It seemed a little bit over happy for me.

Overall, I gave this book 4 out of 5 stars for preserved body parts. It had issues but would recommend for people who like letter formatted books and character driven books. I enjoyed reading and did like it mainly for the letter format.

I got this off Netgalley for a review. It’s being published by Picador on 10^th April 2014 (also currently known as tomorrow).