Book Review: The Seven Imperfect Rules of Elvira Carr by Frances Maynard

I swear I'm not reading another book by someone who taught autistic people.

Good covers don't mean good books

Funny, heart-warming and ultimately triumphant, The Seven Imperfect Rules of Elvira Carr is the perfect story for anyone who doesn’t quite fit in – and for everyone who chooses not to.
LOL, No. F off.

Elvira Carr is twenty-seven and neuro-atypical. Her father – who she suspects was in the secret service – has passed away and, after several Unfortunate Incidents growing up, she now spends most of her time at home with her overbearing mother. But when her mother has a stroke and is taken into care, Elvira is suddenly forced to look after herself or risk ending up in Sheltered Accommodation. Armed with her Seven Rules, which she puts together after online research, Elvira hopes to learn how to navigate a world that’s full of people she doesn’t understand. Not even the Seven Rules can help her, however, when she discovers that everything she thought she knew about her father was a lie, and is faced with solving a mystery she didn’t even know existed . . 

All the other reviewers on Goodreads are glowing about this book, being feel good and inspiration bullshit. I have yet to come across another own voices review, so here's mine: I'm autistic (Aspergers side) and therefore this book is not meant for me. It very reminiscent of the "The curious incident in the Nightmare" (I mean to write night-time, I'm keeping that in), a book I despised for its ablelist bullshit. Even if he not autistic, its still horrible book of presenting my disabled peers.  I've rated this book super low for two specific things.

Ellie never disclosed to the reader what her diagnosis is. It's refer to only as 'her condition' and that is gutless. If you're going to write a book about Autism, do it. Don't be spineless about it. I am sick of coded Autistic characters without the label. There is not enough representation of Autistic Adults to go without it. The term neurodivergent or neurotypical is hinted with the wrong term of "NeuroNormal". This is the wrong term. Normal is subjective and is not found in science. The correct term is Neurotypical. People on the Autism spectrum disorder (ASD) like correct terms when comes to sciencey things like the brain typically, and the way Ellie is presented I don't buy use the term "NeuroNormal". Normal is a dirty word when it comes to talking about neurodivergent people. Maybe once upon of time, but as of 2016 when this book is based, No one uses this term. Also another thing to know that neurodivergent/neuroatypical is also used to describes people with mental health disorders and other learning disabilities. For example, someone with mild dyslexic would be consider neuroatypical technically. Therefore, not neurotypical.  Another random point, my autism makings me disabled, that is not a bad thing, it's just a thing about me.

Another big factor is there is random (trigger WARNING) sexual assault in this book. It happens twice, getting worst. Most women will experience sexual assault in some form in their life, from being slapped on the butt to worst thing possible, so realistic. But you can't bush past sexual assault of women considered mentally disabled. Sexual Assault and manipulation is a bigger problem for people considered disabled because they are vulnerable or seen to be. She doesn't tell anyone. The most that happens is someone guesses.This book is about learning life lessons, but she doesn't learn one from this. One of the next things that happens is she tells a strange man where her house is over the internet. Sorry, spoilers which I don't do in reviews, but I have to address this. I am going to do a video about this is Spoiler discussion about why in extreme detail about how this is done wrong because I can't without spoiling a big chunk of the book. I hate sexual assault being used as life lesson tool. It can be augured that there is victim blaming in this book also. She could have had that lesson another way, it could have stopped at one. She could have told someone. Sometimes books shouldn't be realistic, but the ideal and with the stigma about sexual assault, the representation is extremely important. How it's handled. Silence is might be realistic, but it shouldn't be.

Without the above, this book probably a three star book. But I rated it one stars after the first assault and so far I don't feel like changing that.

Now for my fun, less problematic and more just issues. Ellie reads Mills & Boon as 27 year in 2016, whose mother hates that sort of thing. Mills & Boons are an old lady thing and it is never explained why she would read them as 20 something. Romance books sure, I'm borderline Asexual and read romances. Lots of Aces do. (she repeatedly says she doesn't want a boyfriend). Yeah, ASDA still sell them, but why would she ever pick them up? Like I don't know anyone that reads Mills & Boons religiously in the that age group or even a few above it. I've read them but only cause an elderly neighbour gave me them. 'Chick-Fiction' seems more realistic, they are always on deal.

We going to just pretend that the term Autism is used in this book and talk about that. Ellie comes across as actually being high-functioning (I hate that term too, but there's not a better one to my knowledge) but she has been gaslit her whole life by her mother, whose an old lady at the age of 72 (I did the maths). I don't know how old Frances Maynard is but she comes as across as someone much older than someone in their late 20s, like at least a few decades. The relationship with her parents is interesting and probably best part of this novel.

So Autism, there are two autistic coded characters, our protagonist and someone she meets. There are the same, which equals bad representation. So...like I really can't separate their traits to argue they're not. Maybe this book is a little too much about her 'Condition'.

The writing is well done for a Début. I mean, if I hadn't blacklisted her in my mind, I would probably pick Maynard up again.

Overall, I give this book 1/5 stars for handsy "NeuroNormals". This may be a book about the Neuroatypical, but its not one for them. Therefore, I could never recommend it, but I'm don't absolutely hate it. This book will be compared to the "Curious Incident" and for me that's a real bad thing. That is not the book to based on what a book about Autistic person should be like. This probably does a better job of personifying them than that horrid book. My big tip is if you want to write about Autism, write about Autism, don't just thank the National Autistic Society in your Acknowledgements. Remember Autistic people will be reading and we will be taking notes.

My last few books I've reviewed, I have been tearing them apart for seemly small things, but small things can be important. Maynard also credits a few books by Autistic people, which is weird that she missed a few things normal to Autistic/Aspergers life. Like neither coded characters have sensory issues. I have mild issues compared to others, but there still comes up in my life. It also like she never came across why Autistic people don't like to be touch or that it effects all senses: e.g. sound, light, and I've heard of people having taste issues. I'm going to go over this stuff in the video discussion.

I got this book for review (let no one say I'm biased in my reviews of free books) from Netgalley and it being Published by Mantle on 24 August 2017. Who hopefully, won't blacklist me, as I love most of the books the Publisher there are imprint of. I also did a video about this book.

P.S. Can you tell I've censored the swearing? 

Book Review: Beautiful Broken Things by Sara Barnard

Finally, a contemporary without the main character declaring her love...romantically.

Here’s my theory on Significant Life Events: everyone has them, but some have more than others, and how many you have affects how interesting you are, how many stories you have to tell, that kind of thing.

I was still waiting for my first one.

After yet another typical summer where nothing of any significance happens, Caddy vows that now she’s sixteen this year will be different; she’ll get a boyfriend (a real one), lose her virginity and experience a Significant Life Event. If only Caddy knew what was just around the corner - a whirlwind of wild spirit and fury with a dazzling smile and sad eyes by the name of Suzanne – and a significant life event that no one could have predicted.

Caddy and Rosie have been BFF’s since they were little girls, but when enigmatic and beautiful new girl Suzanne starts at Rosie’s school, Caddy allows her insecurities to threaten her friendship with Rosie. Caddy wishes she were more like Rosie and Suzanne – confident, funny and interesting – but beneath the make-up and bravado lies a secret side to Suzanne that intrigues Caddy. Despite their differences very soon the three girls are inseparable, and things get a whole lot more complicated.

Under Suzanne’s influence, Caddy begins to see how much fun a little trouble can be. But climbing out of bedroom windows for forbidden midnight walks on the beach begins to lose its shimmer as Suzanne’s troubled past is revealed and her present begins to unravel. The course of friendship and recovery is rougher than any of the girls could have imagined, and Caddy is about to learn that downward spirals have a momentum of their own.

The books opens with the character stating she wants to get a (first) boyfriend, lose her virginity, have a significant life event. This last one is confusing as wouldn't the two above it be significant life events? She listed them first. To be honest this is not a good start for me. However, the book gets a lot better.

Caddy is our narrator, she self-proclaimed as being boring and I don't know if this is the reason why she reads that way. There lot of discussion about self worth in this book and the two main characters both struggling with it. Except this not satisfying when both characters are flat and don't feel like real people at all. Caddy has nothing going on besides her best friend, Rosie and she doesn't like going out. She too much of a Mary Jane to be able to attach to her.

Whilst the relationship between the girls being the core of the in book, its not that great. The girls are sometimes terrible to each other for very little reason and never felt they cared that much about each other. I think it comes down to not buying the characters. Certain things are done well in their interactions. I don't know how the characters could feel more real and feel like they have a history. I think it just one of those things: it might just come down to my bad start with the book.

 This book deals with abuse and the mental consequences of suffering from it. This is the best part of the novel. Its about the aftermath after leaving the abuse. This done well and I think it manages to capture the mental state of the sufferer and how complex relationship with their abuser can be. 

The ending of this book is rather disappointing. The actual ending is okay and works, but the way we get to it is badly executed. The dialogue before it especially. It just too much on the nose.

Overall, I give this book 4/5 stars for sunflowers. The idea of this book is really solid and does manage to capture the complex nature of abuse. The girls' friendship could be better,especially as that meant to be the base for the novel. I would like to see a book with a similar focus on friendships and do think this a strong début. 

 I got this book for Review off Netgalley and it is being publish by  Children's Books on 11 February 2016.Macmillan

Short Story: Bad Weather

Hello people, today story comes from a prompt: Write a story about a guy who walks into a bar on a dark and stormy night. I have taking place in the BookTubeathon so I wrote this instead of reading, but read when I should have been writing it's all too confusing.

Bad Weather 

The pub was pretty empty for a Friday night and the place was usually empty. Only our usual Todd sat at a booth in the back, nursing his only whiskey of the night. I suspected that Todd didn't liked the drink he brought every night and never drank. It was a shame, because it was always the good stuff he got and I myself liked that whiskey.

I never asked him about it because he freaked me out. I caught him staring at me from across from his usual booth all the time, till I learned not to look in that corner. His hands are always freezing, no matter the weather, I tried avoid touching him by putting his drink on the bar instead of handing him it but he would grab it before I let go of it and he always bushed my palm when he pays.

Today, it was cold and damp so it made since when the stab of cold hit my skin, but it just doesn't seem right. I rubbed my hand on my apron, trying to get renewed sensation to go away.

The bar door opens and two guys I have never seen before enter. It's odd to see anyone completely new after working here for over a year and of course living few streets away. One looks to be older than the other by ten years, both are wearing all black. Neither of their jacket have hoods and they soaked. They look around the bar, before separating in direction without saying a word.

The older ones heads towards Todd's booth and sits. It is literally the most shocking thing I have seen working here as I have never experienced Todd talking to anyone but me and only to order his drink. The only reason I know his name is because Boss made me card him, despite him clearly being middle age.

"A beer, please."

I jump, I had been so focused on the older one engaging with Todd that I never noticed the younger one siting now at the bar.

"Wha...What kind?" I stutter out.

 "Whatever you have on draught."

We have three beers on draught so I give him the one that should have the most in the barrel to avoid changing them on my shift. That can be the boss's job, he hates doing it so always makes me do it.

He hands me a tenner for the pint.

"Keep the change." I say thanks and go to put it the shared tip jar, he grabs my wrist. I tried to jump out of his grip, his hand is as cold as Todd's and his grip is too strong for me to break.

"You keep it," he says as calmly as before, like this is normal. He lets go. There now a clitch in my gut. I leave my arm handing there for a minute before finally putting the money in my pocket. I'll put the money in the jar after he leaves. The company that owned the pub had this big thing about sharing tips. It was a fireable offense to keep tips, not that we got many at night.

 He staring at me and hasn't touch his drink. I ignore him and go to wipe the bar at the opposite end. I decide to the watch the strange show of Todd with another person. I wonder if I should get the Boss from the back to witness this rare moment. He might not believe me otherwise. I'm too far away to hear them speaking anyway.

I move from the bar and catch the the eye of the other one.

"You're rather pretty," he says plainly. Great, I hate when straight guys hit on me and now I have an especially weird one doing it. He'll probably comment on on my lip piecing next and then ask if anything else is pieced whilst looking at my flat chest. They're usually wasted at this point when they start flirting with me.

"So I'm told," I say.

"Would you like me to suck you off?"

"WHAT?"

This was turn odd turn of events, he could still think I'm a girl but most people don't use that term anology about the female funtimes.

 "I  said, would like me to pleasure you?" he says flatly, like it normal to offer someone oral whilst they working. Getting hit on by drunks is sort of part of the job. Not sober weird people offering sex acts.

"No, thanks," I say slowly inching to the backdoor. He might not be drunk, but on something else, or insane either way I don't want to be in the front by myself. He watches me as I step into the back.

I can still see the bar but I can't really be seen by customers. I call the cellar phone to get Boss. He's down there taking invertory whilst things are slow during the storm to save him having to do it another time.

The phone rings out without an answer. I hang up, he doesn't usually answer and just comes up when I ring him down there. I tried to calm down, but the knot in my gut won't go away. I force myself back into the bar where none of them have move.

The younger one is still staring at me. I look at Todd's booth to see that they have started to argue. I hear the sound of them talking but not the actual word.

What is Todd's life outside this bar?

"What type of blood do have?" The young one says.

I turn to him and stared at him blankly.

"You smell like O neg to me, definitely Rhesus negative."

 That was blood type, how could he smell my blood type. I stared at him and that was it, I was abandoning the bar.

I run out to the back and was about to open the cellar door when the lights go out. The storm must have knocked the power out. I take a breath and take my phone of my pocket to use it as a flashed light. I go down the stairs using the light to make sure I don't trip.

"Boss" I shout into the darkness. I don't get a reply. Once I'm the floor I begin to scan the lights spatterly. He has to be down here, I never heard him come up.

" Boss, where are you?"

I can feel myself panicking, something is wrong. I spin around trying to get a glimpse of him. I find myself looking behind the crates of alcopops and then stop myself. I must have missed him somehow. He must be out back smoking.

I run to the stairs. I stop, there's something wet on the steps. It wasn't like that when I came down here. I hold my phone above it. I can't make out what it is on the dark of the stairs. I leave it in favour of finding Boss. I go up the stairs trying to avoid the wet patches.

I turn my phone scene off and find my way to back door easily. I push at the door and exit to the rain. It's dark in the alleyway and am still getting wet despite the metal sheet that Boss put up for his frequent smoke breaks.

I scan around for him, but boss clearly isn't out here. I turn to go back in when I hear sceaming. I stop. I know I should go in and help, but instincts tell me to run. I stand there for a long while, not able to make my body do either.

"Don't worry, baby."

I jump at the sound of the voice. It young guy at the door, I must have been staring at him for a while in the dark.

"He's just getting what he deserves for disobeying."

Disobeying who? I don't ask him.

"Why don't you come back in and I can make you scream in another way."

He's still flirting with me in the creepiest way possible. I go to run but he grabs me and drags me back into the pub. Before I can stay anything, he's shoving his slimy, cold tongue in my month. It's making me sick but I can't push him off. I'm actually starting to feel a bit faint.

***

"And that's why I turned you." Feith says to me for millionth time. I had been ignoring him, and thinking of  my own count of that night. Trying to find Boss and then walking over his blood and then Todd getting his punishment for stealing a blood donor.

Feith thinks he's being romantic when he recounts that night. I remember it for it's fear, not Feith being pretty. He's good looking I guess, but I will never have the same feelings towards him as he has for me.

Because of him I'm stuck running one of Lucas' bars. It's a lot like Boss' but I'm not dumb enough to cross the real boss or his right hand man Feith, which is why I put up with his feuqent visits. Also I kinda feel sorry for him. He was raised in this world before he was turned. This was always the best he saw for himself.

It's sad. He never mature so now he like an external puppy who decided to be befriend the neighbour's cat. I just wish I had never went near that neighbour. Why the hell had Boss hired me? It  is one many things I wished they had torture out of him. It straight up broke the rules of this business, not that Boss had really care that much. He dragged me into this, instead of it just be another job rejection.

Feith is now smiling at me, still happily talking at me while I ignore him. I don't think he'll ever realises that I'm not listening. Lucas is here checking up on things so I know he'll be leaving before closing so I won't need to have a moral debate with myself about letting Feith stay the day with me.

I'm actually quite relief when Lucas tells Feith to scam from the bar so he can interrogate me. Also Feith is meant to be paroling the area in case if any rivals show up. If Lucas gives him hell  for not doing his duty, he's being too soft on him.

"How are you, Pretti," I flich. I hate when Lucas calls me by Feith's compliment/pet names. He smirks at me, so he saw it then.

"Fine, been real busy with the Blood Donors I stole last week," I say sarcastically because I've heard the rumours and know it will stop his smirk and maybe my existence. He doesn't stop smirking.

"You know if anyone but you said that to be I have them chopped," he says without threat. Being cut into tiny bits sounds fun compared to what they did to Todd. "However, I know you know what I'm capable of and Fe..."

"I keep waiting to see it again," I goat him before he mention how heartbroken Feith would be without having me suck here.

"You really should fight your suicidal tendencies. If you weren't so stubborn you would have promoted long ago."

"Business is fine. There's been no trouble," I say, stopping before telling him to get out.

"Exactly, you're my most reliable bartender," bartender is the name Lucas gives his blood sellers. "You should be at a flesh bar instead of here."He looks around this place like it's a stae. Lucas tries this spill once and awhile. Especially, after something likes this has went down. I've always gotten out of being transferred by getting drunk and refusing to serve anyone till Lucas refutes.

Last time I told customers I poised all the blood and that Lucas was my bitch, in front of Lucas. I majorly pissed him off, meaning he gave Feith a week off to deal with me which was hellish. He wouldn't stop touching me the whole time he was there, in front of the customers giving me a dirty look for being alive after the suppose poising.

"I have decided you are to take over my personal bar," he says. That's at least ten levels above me on the chain of this organisation.

"I know how to poison blood."

"If that was true, then we wouldn't be having this conversation." He's right, I would be actually dead.  "I don't know why you so against moving up."

"Maybe I'm just happy where I am." He laughs as though that's the dumbest thing he's ever heard.

"How very human you still are," He laughs at me again. "Perhaps I should make you a drainer so you can be with your kind." Here's the punishment I should I have gotten years ago. I shiver at the thought of having to see those rejected addicts everyday.

"Fine, I'll run your stupid bar," I throw a glass at Feith whose been standing at the door, looking at me for the pass minute. I miss his head. He finally moves after the glass shattering next to his head. I would smash one on Lucas if I thought I would get the satisfaction of seeing his pretty face bleed.

"Tut, Tut, so disrespectable to your maker," I openly laugh at this statement. He stole leadership from his maker.

"When will I be force to leave?"

"Oh, a week or so," he says vaguely. It could be tomorrow knowing him. "Come, Feith, it's time to go."

Feith leans over the bar, looking for a kiss. I ignore him, knowing Lucas will shout at him eventually. I look up at him, Lucas smiles at me, standing at the door so he's playing that game now.

"Stop being a pest and fuck off," I say to Feith. He pulls back, looking hurt, like a kicked puppy. If I'm being forced to deal with Blood Donors, then I'm not putting up with Feith wanting to play boyfriends.

"We're be back soon to help with the move," is Lucas finally words before he leaves with Feith sulking behind him.  I doubt that I will see Lucas again till I get to his headquarters.

I won't miss this bar but I'm more the deniability. I go out and sweep the glass pieces to save to throw another day. 

Today's life lesson is to stay out of Vampire Turf disputes.

Now I have a readathon to win. Okay, probably lose.