Avoiding Life.

I wish I could make myself care. Basically, I've not been interested in anything.

I haven't been reading. I haven't been drawing. I haven't been writing.

I have been watching Cartoons but that only because I can do that in my bed while lying down without thinking. Basically, if it involves thinking I haven't been doing much of it.

I've been avoiding life really. Letting alot of things slide.

I never did finish my novel in time for that contest. Frankly, I'm not that happy with it at the moment anyway. I mean I think it needs a re-write. I want to finish this draft before I start reworking it. Just to have it all written out would be great.

I broke my laptop's built-in left button so that makes it harder to just lie in bed while staring at the laptop. I wonder if I can make the right button the main button on it so I don't have to use my spare mouse. Its getting a bit annoying. It actually does work sometimes, basically I split milk on it which has fucked it.

My cereal had went soggy by the time I had remove the plastic over the actual button and whipped all the milk I could see.

I've sort of started reading again but it took me like three weeks to finish a 298 pages books. I'm still kinda forcing myself to read. It was a non-fiction book but I'm not that interested in fiction books. I haven't made a BookTube video in a month and there's several reviews that need writing.

I haven't went to college in five weeks, two of those weeks were breaks. However, I should have been doing work for it because I'm terribly behind. I just don't care. Motivation for it has went and left me. I just don't think I have the time to finish.

I know in a year or so I regret not finishing the course if I gave up now. But that future me problem. She can deal with that regert which will join so much more. Arty never seems to go right for me.

I'm going to go now, I'll just leave you with this last thought: 

I hate Moodborads. 

Sleeping Pattrens Gone Wack (The dread of Starting College)

Hi dearies, I woke at the delightful time five clock in the afternoon. That's fine when you take into consideration, I went to sleep at seven/eightish. I just have trouble sleeping at night, they something about it that rebels against the notation of at this time. As soon as the sun rises is when I feel tired, even then my brain won't shut down happily.

 This will become quite the issue since I'll be starting college soon. It making its self know this Wednesday and then I'll be starting next week. Frankly, this fills me with dread. Being all autistic like my bad arse self, I plainly just don't like change of any kind. I know I have to do this, it too late to change my mind about the whole thing. Yet I still don't have a clue as what I want to with my life.

I've sort of have the grades for Art, not so much anything else. Why does life have to be so depressing? Why can't I get my genius out of my head. I know it just as stupid as studying Art and don't have the grades for it, but god English keeps calling to me.

In attempt of fixing the whole sleep thing I'm staying up till a least 7pm on Sunday before going to bed. I shall get through by reading, the internet and cutting my own hair. I should be drawing, but fuck that... Oh, I've got to get over this stupidity. I'm dumb on paper and that's not going to change. If I had a goal maybe it would be easier.

The Ugliness of the Olympics

With several million other people (which was a challenge to fit them all in my livingroom) I watched the Olympic Opening Ceremony last night. It was a "Once in life time experience" till I watch it online or the best of the Olympics which I'm sure the BBC will be working on as I type.

I'm taking this post as one of my last chance to bitch about the incoptannce of the Creative team of the London Olympics. For anyone whose been near me when they have reveal an element of their effects such as the Logo, you will have heard this all before in one way or another.

Lets start with said Logo. I bet they thought they were being creative when they made this, they weren't. I am also half aware of the whole Nion thing, but I'm going to ignore that since frankly that stupid considering that it is just the year 2012 they've based the logo and you have to do a lot to get it to look like that. Also it does not look like the Nazi symbol. Though it does sort of look like Lisa Simpson giving someone a blow... doing a rude sexual act.
Back to my main point, the Logo is just ugly, especially the moving version. They spent £400,000 on it when a group of school kids could have done a better job. You know what I think that would have actually done a better job of inspiring this country's youth than this ever could. Also people wouldn't have been so judgement if it had been the result of contest. I was 15 when this was released and all it inspired me to was moan about the stupidisy of the Olympic organisers. Even though I hate it, this isn't as bad as the Olympics get. 

No, that honour goes to these Nightmare givers, the Masgots. I guess these could inspire the UK youth to get into running, so they could get away from them faster. In all seriousness did they get the people who design the Doctor Who monsters. Also I've got that to say Wenlock and Mandeville (that's their names by the way) backstory is as disturbing. Their single eyes are not eyes at all, but cameras and they're recording EVERYTHING. 

OMG, they live *Horror Scream*

Yes, I am just waiting for the Doctor to show up and deflect these monsters. Oh, Now I get why they do with Britain and London.

I will say this is where the horrorfling part of the Olympics (creative wise anyway) ends. 


As for the opening Ceremony is was petty boring at the beginning and didn't even realise it had started (had been watching the countdown programme while attempting to play Chess for the first time).  After the Victorian bit, it got quite good. I love the fact we gloat about the NHS, since it is something to be proud for.


This is where my lazyness set in, I will leave saying it was very British. My sib and I were feeling very patriotic by the end of it, and end up discussing our thoughts on Scotland's Independence with tears in our eyes, feeling like idoits. We blame the alcohol (okay, I only had one unit) and don't worry we're both back to our bitching ways.