Sleep Now, Clean Later

So now that I no longer have to dance and sing every night, I've been very productive in every other field. I don't why I lie to you, you basically my diary (but not cause I write my dark stuff in Mikey and daily stuff in my dated diary) and I have a clear track on here as being a Procrastinator. I'm not sure what I meant by that opening sentence.

I've also been a Twenty for a week and I'm old.

I've began the process of tidying my room, actually began this process weeks ago. I got so annoyed by the state of bed tonight that I put the piles of clothes into binbags (just for now) so I could change it and fix the damn thing. My bed is actually broken, the wooded bars have became lose so fall out and some have basically snapped. I'm feeling a big mas reorganising coming this summer as soon as I'm done with college (which I need to catch up majorly).

Though, tidying of my room and making of mood boards has been heidence by illness. I just been really worned now lately. I been close to vomiting, always fun. Its the tiredness that really getting to me. I mean coughing and pain I can live with but wanting to sleep all the time, well it really wastes up a lot of time. I'll sleep for over 12 hours and still feel tired. It just so hard to get anything done or care about getting things done.

I mean, the only reason my bed finially got changed is because I live in my bed, its been bugging me for months and in state of tiredness I dumped everything off my bed and changed it only because I could literally not sleep in it in the state was in and I know most people would have got to that stage after the chocolate had melted between the sheets and mattress (the bottom sheet had came undone and it rolled under there and I never notice). When depressed and busy you really don't care.

Mentally I'm feeling better, I feel tired all the time but I don't want to sleep all the time, that just keeps happening. I've also started reading again, Oh and making Book Tubes videps. So I'm showing the signs of getting out of this cycle of depression.

See you next week, I'm off to read or sleep. Probably sleep.

Avoiding Life.

I wish I could make myself care. Basically, I've not been interested in anything.

I haven't been reading. I haven't been drawing. I haven't been writing.

I have been watching Cartoons but that only because I can do that in my bed while lying down without thinking. Basically, if it involves thinking I haven't been doing much of it.

I've been avoiding life really. Letting alot of things slide.

I never did finish my novel in time for that contest. Frankly, I'm not that happy with it at the moment anyway. I mean I think it needs a re-write. I want to finish this draft before I start reworking it. Just to have it all written out would be great.

I broke my laptop's built-in left button so that makes it harder to just lie in bed while staring at the laptop. I wonder if I can make the right button the main button on it so I don't have to use my spare mouse. Its getting a bit annoying. It actually does work sometimes, basically I split milk on it which has fucked it.

My cereal had went soggy by the time I had remove the plastic over the actual button and whipped all the milk I could see.

I've sort of started reading again but it took me like three weeks to finish a 298 pages books. I'm still kinda forcing myself to read. It was a non-fiction book but I'm not that interested in fiction books. I haven't made a BookTube video in a month and there's several reviews that need writing.

I haven't went to college in five weeks, two of those weeks were breaks. However, I should have been doing work for it because I'm terribly behind. I just don't care. Motivation for it has went and left me. I just don't think I have the time to finish.

I know in a year or so I regret not finishing the course if I gave up now. But that future me problem. She can deal with that regert which will join so much more. Arty never seems to go right for me.

I'm going to go now, I'll just leave you with this last thought: 

I hate Moodborads. 

Regular programming has been cancelled due to life.

Sh...lets not talk about real things. Lets talk about things that don't matter.

Things that can't wait, will just have to slip by. It doesn't really matter. I hate life and it hates me back.

See you next week if I learn how to form communication about anything with a topic. Just enjoy the random thoughts of nonsense. 

A Weekend at the Threatre

I went to the theater today to see Wreck it Ralph and yes I do mean Theatre. The local Theatre show films, to be honest it probably, maybe even better than the local ODEON which is 15 minutes far away than the Theatre. I'm also going to see Les Misérables there tomorrow. So excited to finally see it. I've been listening to the soundtrack for years and it kinda amazing there wasn't a film of the musical sooner. I'm sure the film is as good as everyone been saying. And I'll be able to say that I performed on the same stage that sort of had Hugh Jackman and Anne Hathaway on it.

I need have about a month to finish my novel for that contest. Not been doing much writing. Or anything. Just been rather lackluster this past while. My blog post have been especially bad of late. Also terribly behind in college and somehow I'm decided I'm staying to do next year. Also I've not been reading as much still. Still basically a lack of motivation of doing anything.

So lets just sleep in bed until the sun blows up.