Showing posts with label theatre. Show all posts
Showing posts with label theatre. Show all posts

Wednesday, 17 August 2016

Book Review: Harry Potter and the Crused Child by NOT J.K. Rowling

I think this might have been written by Bellatrix Lestrange.

It was always difficult being Harry Potter and it isn’t much easier now that he is an overworked employee of the Ministry of Magic, a husband and father of three school-age children.

While Harry grapples with a past that refuses to stay where it belongs, his youngest son Albus must struggle with the weight of a family legacy he never wanted. As past and present fuse ominously, both father and son learn the uncomfortable truth: sometimes, darkness comes from unexpected places.


At first when I was hearing all the bad things about this book. I thought it was from people not being used to reading plays and didn't understand the differences between them and a novel. I gave it the benefit of the doubt and read it when I finally got my hands on the copy I had pre-ordered months ago.  I wanted to form my own opinion and now I have.

This has to be some of the worst, laziest fanfiction I have ever read. EVER. and that is from someone who lived between Harry Potter books and has went through months of only reading fanfiction.You read (and create) a lot terrible stuff when you're fifteen; in the name of Fandom. This play even has some of the worst tropes.

This play based off a story by J.K.Rowling (e.g. fanfiction), written by

The characters are really out of character. There clearly wasn't a space for Ron in this play so they turned him into his dad and this awkward comic relief. Yep, we get the wrong the Wealsey in this book, which reminds of me fanfiction because for some reason there are people who really hate Ron and think he useless, like he is in this. Harry says stuff I could never imagine Harry saying, even with 20 something years later. Also none of the character have their own voice and use odd words. I now wonder late at night "Where did a Malfoy learn the word "mate" and why would he used it when he thinks hugging is weird?" It also comes straight after a much older character using is (or maybe the other way around) to emphasise how lack of thought went into the characters dialogue.

The house sorting is dumb. I've never came across two more truer Hufflepuffs in my life. We have Draco's and Harry's son being really gay with each other (fanfict).  But not, because the religious nuts already hate Harry Potter enough without having actual gays in one of them. Poor Hugo has been written out of this play but we know he exists because he's mention once. Albus also has no relationship with his siblings. They there but only because they have to be and emphasise what a "failure"Albus is. Scorpius is also infatuated with Rose (fanfict) and Albus has a love interest to prove he's straight and it is a level of fanfict I have never read by choice until this play made me. Its giant trope that I can't get into because spoilers. Creepy, creepy heteronormative spoilers. Why couldn't they just be gay and avoid the creepiness that we presented with at the end with both of them?

I have a hard time believing that these kids were raised by the same kids we got to know so well in Harry Potter or by the adults we glimpsed in the last book.

The book deals with time travel (look here's a timeturner, even though all of them were destroyed.What happens, it is a giant troupe in the Harry Potter Fandom). The big issue that's it really lazy take on the "Butterfly Effect". There's an obvious route that the plot could have took that would make a lot more sense, but they don't do that. Instead, they add unrealistic character development, that we don't see so of course that makes it incredibility unrealistic.

The plot makes very little sense and has giant gaping plot holes that took me out of the story so much. Time Travel is complicated and not enough thought was put into it for it work and then we have odd character motivation. Time Travel thing could have been used as technique to teach Albus a lesson about his father's actual childhood, but no just hm...actually I don't know we got with that time travel.

The ending was terrible, a fanfiction troupe and utterly pointless. The whole thing was just, here lets experience this for no real reason. It was just really lazy way to end the play with emotional bow, that  at least fails on paper.

But relax true HP fans, this play opens by going against canon. I mean its written as though Albus is the first to go Hogwarts, which is just dumb. Therefore, its not the actual eighth story. I don't know if there's actual story written or plot-outline by J.K.Rowling that the play was based on but even if it was, this was not a well done adaptation. I mean literally, a parody musical got the characters better than this book. If there's an actual short story, then they should have probably published it instead or along with the play.

Overall, I give this book 2 out of five stars for gay-baiting. There's another major fanfict troupe this play has, but I can't go into because major spoiler for this joke of a play. I have other issues with it but I'm already on the borderline of Spoiler land and those thoughts belong in video discussion. Seriously though, what was the point of this? Does J.K. Rowling have a secret gambling problem so she needed to make money quick or something? Why was this ever approved? I know this is very negative review, but there was nothing good or enjoyable about reading this play. It's possible that is better acted out, you know in its intended media, but going off how bad the dialogue I really doubt it.

If this play had actually been about about Harry Potter's adult life or the challenges of being the son of a War hero then it would have been interesting.  No we got timetravel and not even the Marauders
to make it fun at least. I think it ends being a two star and not one for me because there was something thing that could have been really good but everything they got right, they twisted till it wasn't. Now, I'm off to read decent fanfiction.

Saturday, 16 March 2013

The Story of how I got Hugh Jackman in my Room

So Sherlock Season 3 is the process of being filmed and I now own a giant poster of Anne Hathway. All is right in the world.
So if you wondering how I manage to aquire such a thing as a giant poster of Anne Hathway, our story begins one Wednesday.

I was deeply tired and not in the mood to do a thing when I got home from college. But a last I had singing to do at my local theatre as I'm in the chorus. So after sitting on a hard chair for two hours and suffering a sore behind, the singing was done and my mother had lost her keys. There was a busy buster.

The theatre also shows films (I said so in my last blog), I went there to see Les Misérables. Anyway, once mostly everyone was gone. The Music Director of the production, got out these posters there had been sent to advertised the film. I have no idea where there were meant to be put these posters as there are giant posters meant for big cinemas that have at least twenty scenes. There was three posters of the main characters/stars. So Jean Valjean/Hugh Jackman was claim in seconds. I decided I want Fantine/Anne Hathway and Javert/Russel Crowe eventually found a home.

Photos at odd angles are great
On my way out I over head about the cardborad stand featuring all the above stars. Basically, I asked if I could have it and now I have Hugh Jackman guarding my door which makes me giggle every time I see him. It turns out the stand is too tall for my bedroom. DAMN YOU ATTIC ROOF!!!

I giggle when I see other two and I have no idea what I'll ever do with the poster. Maybe it will meet the ultimate Dorm room poster.

As for the actual film, I found it rather good, but I do imagine a West End production is better. Russel Crowe singing was a bit dodgy at times, but all the acting was good. I knew Jackman was going to pull through. It was basically as brilliant as I expected. I'm definitely going to get the DVD and am desperate to get the Deluxe Soundtrack.

I'm currently at my sister's, as my mum and her are going to see Olly Murs. Rather glad it not me, he's alright but I just wouldn't want sit through a whole set of him. Me and Sib are going to be seeing Daniel Sloth, the much better choice. So see you loser next week.



The state of the stand until I can sort my room out.
 Ain't they're all petty?

Saturday, 9 March 2013

A Weekend at the Threatre

I went to the theater today to see Wreck it Ralph and yes I do mean Theatre. The local Theatre show films, to be honest it probably, maybe even better than the local ODEON which is 15 minutes far away than the Theatre. I'm also going to see Les Misérables there tomorrow. So excited to finally see it. I've been listening to the soundtrack for years and it kinda amazing there wasn't a film of the musical sooner. I'm sure the film is as good as everyone been saying. And I'll be able to say that I performed on the same stage that sort of had Hugh Jackman and Anne Hathaway on it.

I need have about a month to finish my novel for that contest. Not been doing much writing. Or anything. Just been rather lackluster this past while. My blog post have been especially bad of late. Also terribly behind in college and somehow I'm decided I'm staying to do next year. Also I've not been reading as much still. Still basically a lack of motivation of doing anything.

So lets just sleep in bed until the sun blows up. 

Saturday, 2 March 2013

Putting the Beast into Beauty (Oh, wait...)


So in the last blog I said I was going to go to a Amateur Drama Production meeting, did you know Amateur basically means doing it for the love it, yay, not that surprising. So I went to the meeting and the Audtation for it, completely sleep deprived.

You guys mignt not know this but I'm amazing actor and singer. HAHAHA....(continue for ten minutes). I'm alright actor and can keep a note with practise.

I went up for the main part since I love that character and there wasn't really that much choice. I didn't get it. Someone who's too old for the part got it. Its amateur, just kinda ruins it since one of the themes of the musical is coming of age. Oh well, no one expects this much of this things.

I've got to say the way they had us sing in pairs to audition was really off putting. I probably have done better if I sang by myself.

Anyway, not having a part in the musical means I only have to go to one meeting a week now instead of two. So sooner to my bed on Monday.  I probably spend too much time there, but I don't have a couch in my room.