Luck to Know what I'm doing

The Bat signal is back and on. I have had my original laptop back and running. Turned out that it wasn't the harddrive that was fucked and it only cost me £20 to fix. I should have done that in June (Going off June link to British Book Challenge). The memory is almost full and should probably delete some old video footage. Probably all of it as I'm never going to use it. My mother is going to the insurance but turns out that parents changed to worst insurance company. It doesn't have accidental cover, so don't spill red wine on our non-white carpets.

Apparently, I'm the only one whose got any luck in my family. (If that's the case why can't find a well, paying summer job). Well, that's what my mother said because I passed my Theory Test (I conquered the Hazard Perception and actually did better on the Theory by 1 mark), my laptop was corrupt files (that I think might have been my fault) and I got unconditional for uni. Sort of first choice (it's my parents anyway because it's the closes to home and other family member). But is that luck?

I studied for Driving Theory test and I failed the first time, I passed it the second time after they changed it to CGI which should win a Oscar, as its really good quality and the videos they had before were terrible and grainy. I stressed over it, it wasn't like I just showed up with any pre preparation and passed first time around.

UCAS possibly has something to do with luck and chance, praying to the Gods of UCAS might actually do something. However, I still worked hard on it. I studied for my Highers and other exams to get the decentish grades. I panicked over my personal statement. I slaved over that thing, I applied so late (day before the deadline is when it went out) because it made me feel so terrible and full of self-doult I hated that thing, I stand by that it was terrible. Hopefully, not as terrible as everyone else's. I had the grades to get Unconditional to most of my choices. In fact the uni that got back to me, was late. It said they would get back to me within 28 days. They got back to me on Monday at 4.47pm, that's forty days. I guess it doesn't matter overall as I won't hear back from other unis till at least March (probably 31st knowing my luck with an rejection). Also I was pretty sure that I should get into that uni, because it's newish uni (in terms of Universities) with different campuses. Anyway, it's great to know that I have a place at uni studying and training for my dream career.

Maybe I just say that Track is down for like a week (25th Feb to 2 March). That seems like a nightmare waiting to happen. I feel for anyone who gets a Track Notification during this time.

My point is none of that was really luck. I mean I brought a mother's laptop. If anything that was bad luck.

I have started money making schemes, though that said it might not be worth it unless make only so much a week. I want a job, not really a money making scheme. Though, I have finally created a Patreon. Hopefully, people will like me enough to pledge some money. I would be really happy if I make enough before I start Uni to get that model skeleton. Still want it really badly.

Though, to be honest my Patreon Rewards are bit high for certain things, but they're that high because amount of time that would normally take me to get to them. Also it seems higher, because it's in dollars and not pounds. Also I have gag rewards and goals, that no one will ever paid or will be reached.

Not sure when I will launch the page, because I want to make videos for it before I make the page live. Though, when I do, it will be linked on here someway.

I do have a mystery to talk to you about before I leave you for the week, on Tuesday I got 226 hits on here. Like 30 is the most I've ever had in a day and that had expernation. This has no expernation, I never even posted anything on the day. Maybe someone just kept refreshing the page repeatedly. If any of you know, please tell me, now I'm off to try and get another unconditional.

P.S. Portfolios suck.

Book Review: Fire by Kate Cann

That's right continuing and finishing series in two weeks.

The evil is growing stronger...

 Rayne's countryside escape has proven to be anything but - the remote mansion house where she lives and works holds terrible secrets. 

Even the ghosts at Morton's Keep seem to be warning her that something is wrong. And then something happens - something so shocking Rayne knows she was right to be afraid...

This is the sequel to Possessed (which I reviewed last week), also has the alternative title of Consumed. This book takes a week after the events of the last book (;)). While I was excited and enjoyed read this book, it really add that much.

In terms of plot, it was more just an escalation of the first book's. At the root of things it the same with different cast of characters. I also saw the ending coming, though that was more due to the page count left. There was a bit more lore which was interesting.

Rayne's character develop in this book is good and realistic. Addressing the trust issues that she developed from what happened in the first book was nice to see. The relationships are well done.



Overall, I give this book 4/5 stars for pigeons. I liked this Duology a lot and would recommend to YA horror lovers. This is interesting settings with its folktales and traditions. Also this book technically takes place during Halloween so the right season for people who only read horror in October (I detest you, horror is all year genre). These covers being so pretty, I sort of wished I had brought the series instead of getting them from the library as I won't ever be able to justify buying them now.

Book Review: Zom-B: Circus by Darren Shan

This book is tiny looking in comparison to the way the other books are put together.

Could you survive a plague of zombies?
What would you sacrifice to stay alive?
Who would you try to save?
For one human, judgement day is coming . . .

 This is book 7.5 in the Zom-B series, though in terms of spoilers it would only spoil the first book (and a slight spoiler for it in this review), you should be probably read the second book as well before this one at least. (My reviews here: Zom-B and Undergound). Though, you should just read the series in order.

This book follows B's old Maths teacher, which is odd for book in Children's/teenager's/YA book series to have a Protagonist in her late 20s. All should follow this example, it won't get weird not at all. 

I liked the parallels between Cat Ward and B's escape from the school. Cat is unlikable character, not just because of her questionable action, just her thought process more than anything. You can find other characters to like.

Going by this cover that you will guess what other character we see in this book. That's right, Count Dracula. I was very surprised. You won't be surprised to know that is a lie. Though, as Dracula is now in public domain, anyone can have him appear in their book. There was some cool, gruesome imagery.

Overall, I gave this book 5 out of 5 stars for talk of soldiers. This was a cool intermission in the series and it was cool to hear the voice of the living during this apocalypse. It re-raised some question to ponder between books.

Short Story: Torment

I actually wrote this story this month (7th & 8th February) . Super short though, enjoy.

Torment

They ripped me away from my mother. I don't think I will ever see her again or any of my sisters. My captors told me that most of them are dead. I wonder when I will be next.

They've tried to give me sense of false freedom. They let me leave the house to wide arcs of countryside. It's too far too walk and I have no idea where I am to even attempt it.

Attacking them does nothing. I bite and scratch them but they often just laugh at me. They make me lie in bed with them, they fight amongst themselves about who gets me, physically pulling me away from each other.

I'm lying on a bed in the empty room upstairs, wanting some peace. I hear one of them on the stairs. I move to hide and the collar around my neck makes a noise. They might have not know I was here. I make it across the room as they walk to the room.

I'm in hiding in the corner of the room hoping that she doesn't see, behind a desk and a pile of junk. She walls into the room in the direction of the bed. She goes to look between the bedpost and the window. She turns around and makes eye contract with me. She walks towards me and I know I'm doomed for more torment. She pulls me up from the floor and I say the only thing I can.

"Meow." 

***

This is based on my cat Glasgow, most of his sisters are indeed dead because sadly they were both ran over by cars. Though, Glasgow lives and fights constantly with his mother and his only living sister, I thought it work better with him being alone. This is very much based on those misleading Creepy Pastas as I'm certain cats don't think this way.

I really wasn't sure what to call this. Trapped seemed the best option but Torment seemed more fitting in the end. What do you think I should have called it?

On other News I broke the Laptop I was using and passed my theory test, this means I probably have start writing these post on my phone in full and that I can start taking driving lessons.

Book Review: Zom-B: Mission by Darren Shan

If you guys didn't know already, that I'm a idiot. I'm about to prove it.

B Smith and the other Angels are relieved to finally receive their first mission to safely escort a group of human survivors from the zombie-infested streets of London to New Kirkham, a barricaded safe haven in the country. But after battling through crowds of undead monsters, B discovers that the survivors of the town do not necessarily represent the best of humanity. And when evil influences make their way to New Kirkham, unearthing demons from B s past, the humans will be forced to choose between being honorable and being safe.

So this is the 7th book in the Zom-B series, I have review them all (Zom-B, Undergound, City, Angels and Baby) except the last one, Gladiator because I somehow forgot that I had read it. I got it from the library and everything again, sat down to read it and it was really familiar because I had already read it so no review for that one. Especially a shame, considering I had new comments from that about the series. Maybe I reread the series someday and then I review it. On to the actual review of this book, no spoilers for this book but not previous book in the series as usual.

We get to leave to London. YAY! Having another setting besides from the Country Hall area was interesting. I enjoyed seeing other parts of this world that we've not heard about before. Also we see the more of characters, so I never felt my usual plot frustration as I was distracted.

The topic of racism makes it way back into the series. I like how it was subtle and then slapped you in the face. Also we get made to see how much B developed since the first book, I mean I never shouted at her in this book, not even once.

This book ends in a proper cliffhangers, so might want to have Clans on sidelines waiting. I think I'm going to go straight on to the next book, especially since as this book brings up more questions than it answers.

Overall, I gave this book 4 out of 5 stars for trees. These reviews are turning into thoughts. I know that what reviews are but should be more critical or structured or something. Basically, never based your reviews off mine. Now that I'm finish this review, I'm off to read the next book in the series and then write a review of that and then read the book after that etc.

Book Review: Possessed by Kate Cann

People who ride motorbikes in the country are insane, so don't.

Escape...
or Trap?

When she finds a job at a secluded country manor, Rayne jumps at the chance to get away from the stifling city, her mother and her controlling boyfriend. 

But the ancient house is suffocating, filled with spooky relics and a strange energy. And the longer she stays, the more she can feel something evil at work...something that wants to keep her there for ever.

By the way, 'forever' is one word and I copied the blurb exactly the way it was on the back of the edition I read. Obvious spelling/grammar mistakes in (or on) books are a thing that I will point out. I got this book from the library, mainly because the cover was cool and I don't read enough horror.

In terms of horror, horrifying things are discussed and terrible things are done. However, this book is not scary. I could understand Rayne's fear and panic, it just didn't transfer to me as I was reading it. I could have read this book during a powerout, by candle light in an empty house and it would have been comfort, rather a than a encouragement for me to go fleeing to find people and light.

I had a power out right before I starting this book. It played on my mine during this because if Rayne had lost power at night then she be by herself with only log fire for light. Just one of the ways your real life can play with the way you read books.

The plot is interesting and well done for the age group. I'm really intrigued by the going on's of Morton's Keep and eager to learn more about what's going. This book has the perfect balance of satisfying ending, but there still questions to be answer.

Rayne is a likable and understandable character. The other characters are okay. I don't feel attachment to any of them really. The mystery side of the character could have done better but it didn't effect the book majorly.

I give this book three stars out of five for ghost pigs. I'm interested to read the next book as I want to know more, in fact I even reserved it  at the library which cost me 75p. Back in the day I could have brought used copy of it for that price but room is full books and you know supporting libraries. The next book is called "Fire" in the UK and Consumed in America but both books in this series have had other names in the past. Renaming books is a confusing, but understandable practice.

Short Story: Will you be my Valentine?

Haló, Happy Valentine's Day. It's my third favourite bloody holiday. This was a week of special and terrible days with Friday the 13th being yesterday. I believe 13 to be lucky and Fridays are great. Though, my family had bad luck on Thursday the 12th. Except I went to see All Time Low and You Me At Six that day. All time low was great, You me at six was a bit anti-cinematic. My sister and I both agreed that All time low should have played last. Also SECC Hydro's disabled seating upstairs is bad as the atmosphere does not carry. Chanting felt weird.

In celebration of Valentine's Day, I bring you the only seasonal story I ever posted on Mibba. I also attempted to do a sequel to do this, due to it performing so well but I lost the first attempt and the second got a bit out of character and hand.

Original summary: Anna and her best friend Violet are both dateless and are feeling very anti-valentine's day. So they decided to escape it, in the woods but Violet wants to do more than just walking.

Written for Valentine's Day Contest! and won third prize. (I always won third, always or nothing).

Will you be my Valentine?

"Will you be my Valentine?"

"Of course I will!" The main character of a show, whose plot had died many a series ago, screamed before jumping into her soon to be ex's arms.

I sigh and turn off the wretched TV.

"Hey! I was watching that," My best friend shouted particularly in my ear. She was sitting close enough to me that our hips were touching but the couch was a big two seater.

"Were you really?" I said with my eyebrow raised.

"Well, no but I might of been. You should of asked first"

"I'm sorry that I presumed that your brain was still functioning," I got off the couch and stretched my body.

"So if you don't want to watch TV, what do you want to do, my Valentine?" I rolled my eyes. It was Valentine's day and me and Violet were both left dateless.

"I don't really care. Just no more lovey dovey stuff."

" Well, we can't go out since every where is full with the love up masses and there is nothing on TV but lovey dovey stuff."

"I suppose we could go for a walk up in to the woods." I said turning to the window. It was still light outside but would be dark soon.

"Sure, may as well." Violet said as she leaped up from the couch."I just take my bra off."

"Why?" I shouted out of shock.

"So it be easier for you to feel me up in the woods". Violet said as she wiggle her eyebrows.

"Just because I'm Bi doesn't mean I'll have you," I said throwing a pillow at her. "Come on". I said dragging her outside by the hand.

"Wait, I need a jacket."

"Don't worry I'll keep you warm." I smirked.

"As long as you keep me innocent." She said laughing. Violet had lost her 'innocence' a long time ago to her first love Richy. I had hated that guy. I couldn't quite point out why.

We walked deep in to the forest and fooling around the whole time. By the time we decided to turn back, Violet had her bra over her top and was wearing mine on her head and clam to be Wonder Bra Women. My throat was hoarse from the laughing and the cold. I was starting to shiver.

"You were right, we should of brought jackets," I said as I moved closer to Violet to steal her body heat.

"Wonder Bra Women has no need for any other clothing than her trusty bras." She said in a deepen voice.

"I hate to break it to you, Wonder Bra but you're wearing a lot more than a bra." I giggled.

"Well, we need to change that." She said as she started to undo her jeans.

"What are you doing?" I said as she wiggle out her jeans and thrown them on a near by rock and was now removing her top and had lost the bra on her head.

"Turning into Wonder Bra Women" She laughed. I stared as she now wasonly in her underwear ran towards a big deep pond of mud that we had only barley manage to avoid early.

"Please don't, Violet." I shouted

"I don't know any Violet" She said as she took off her pants and her bra as well. I gulped. This was going too far but Violet didn't care that I could see her every inch of her beautiful body. We may joke around about me fancying her but in all truth there had been times when my mind had wandered. It was wrong to think about your best friend in that way.

Violet was now rolling about in the mud, it was almost deep enough for her to swim in. I didn't know what to do. I suddenly felt too hot when I had been freezing a second ago. This was so surreal if I didn't know any better I said this was wet dream or something. But it wasn't, Violet was really playing in the mud naked with me watching.

"Come on, Anna. The mud nice warm." She said flirtatiously. I gulped again. I picked up her clothes and walked towards her.

"Violet, this land may be private but someone still might see you." Violet's family own over two acer of the woodland.

"No one going to see us. My parents won't be home till Tuesday and we're the only ones that come up here anyway,"

"I still don't know about this I said," The nerves were becoming clear in my voice.

"Anna, you can either take off your clothes and come in here yourself or I'll do it." Her tone of voice was serious and I know she would keep to her word. I put her clothes on a rock and started taking my own off. She watch me with wide eyes. Was that lust in them? No, it couldn't be. Violet was straight, she would of told me if she wasn't. I was soon naked as the day I was born. I slowly slipped in to the mud. It was cold but I didn't care.

Violet pull me against her, I could feel every move she made. God, my stomach was filling with butterflies.

"Anna, how long have you know me."

"All my life," and before that. Our mums had became friends when they met at the doctors, getting a scan.

"And have you ever wanted to be more...than friends," Violets normal confidence was gone. She was avoiding my eyes. She did like me, all the jokes had been her way of finding out if I liked her back. God, this had to be a dream. Well, if it was then I should I enjoy it.

"We are more than friends," I said leaning towards her. "We're best friends" I splash her with the mud.

"What the hell, Anna!"

"That for making get in this cold mud and this is for making me warm." I said as wrapped my arms around her and kiss her softly on the lips. Violet deepen the kiss and was soon overwhelming me with passion. I had to pull away and catch my breath. I ginned at her.

"You know this is some guy fantasy. Two hot girls making out, naked in mud, deep in the woods." Violet smirked.

"I'm so glad our first kiss was some guy's wet dream." I said sarcastically.

"And some girls," Violet laugh as she splashed me.

"Oh, you're pay for that." said as splashed her back, starting of a mud battle.

After we had finished, every inch of us was covered in mud. We looked like mud nymphs or something. We got out of the mud and started wipe it off with our hands.

"I've still got something to ask you?" Violet said as wiped the mud of my back.

"What?"

"Will you be my Valentine? Violet said almost seriously but the glint in her eyes betrayed her.

"Of Course I will," I screamed, leaping into Violets arms knocking her over, back into the mud. We laughed as we kissed. 

♠ ♠ ♠

Please do comment. I like them as much as Wonder Bra Women likes Super-Panties Girl.

Book Review: Captive by A.J. Grainger

Stockholm Syndrome anyone?

I open my eyes. The cell is flooded with sunlight; the window is a slice of pale blue. Dust particles dance in the sparkling light, pirouetting in a golden line from the window to the opposite wall of the cell, where they seem to converge into shapes. It is like looking into a kaleidoscope.

Dad isn't here. No one is, but me.
Robyn Knollys-Green is an A-list celebrity, famous for being the daughter of one of the world's most powerful men. But not even the paparazzi can find her now.

Robyn begins to realise that she is trapped in a complicated web of global corruption and deceit - and that the strange, melancholy boy who has been tasked with guarding her might not be an enemy after all . . .

I think I might have requested this purely on it's title and cover, because I have no memory of reading the summary before I started reading the book. You shouldn't do that, most times you'll end up with something you don't like much. In this case I ended up with a book I have no strong feelings over.

This is mainly a romance, it feels sort of forced and it was pretty obvious going off the way Robyn describe him when she first sees him.  My nickname for her has became Romeo, because she is as about rational as he was. I felt nothing for the characters, in fact the most promising ones for me are the ones we see the littlest of.

Also Animal activist that harm their fellow animals, suck as human beings and animals. I think that took something away from the plot for me as I sort shut them down as characters. Also I found the whole thing unlikely, or everyone in this book is idiot. I mean the whole reason she is kidnapped is a bad idea because there is a history of it never working especially since I think Britain has no negotiation with terrorist policy.

In terms of plot, I felt it was dragged out bit, like there was 50 pages that felt so unnecessary and  were attempt to keep the action going but it ruined the book more for me. There are flashbacks in this book which I liked. Except, I feel like Romeo's reaction to what's happening in the present should be different based on what revealed by the flashbacks. She only reacts with the flashbacks in mind after the reader has read the experience, it doesn't match up fully.

 It was interesting to see a YA book that involving politics and corruption without it being a Dystopia.

Overall, I gave this book 2 and half stars out of 5 for bird calls. Even though what I have to say about this book is mostly negative, I actually have no strong feels towards which is why I decided to rate it exactly in the middle. I guess this book is for people who like forbidden romances and ain't knowledgeable on how to get away with crimes.

I got this book for review off NetGalley and it was published by Simon and Schuster UK last month (29th Janaury 2015).

Book Review: Conspiracy Girl by Sarah Alderson

I think my True Life TV movie will be about the time I murdered that teacher.

Everybody knows about the Cooper Killings. 

There was only one survivor - fifteen year-old Nic Preston.
Now eighteen, Nic is trying hard to rebuild her life. But then one night her high-security apartment is broken into. It seems the killers are back to finish the job.

Finn Carter - hacker, rule breaker, player - is the last person Nic ever wants to see again. He's the reason her mother's murderers walked free. But as the people hunting her close in, Nic has to accept that her best chance of staying alive is by staying close to Finn.

And the closer they get to the truth, and to each other, the greater the danger becomes. 

This is a well constructed crime novel. The plot has been well structured and the solution was quite clever and I never had fully figured out but it was believable ending. The book is told in the switching point of views of Nic and Finn, which worked for the plot. 


In terms of the characters and their relationships with each other there was moments where I just sighed. There was bit of communication problem which is my peak hit in books but it was a minor thing.

Overall, I gave this book 4/5 stars for land rovers. I would recommend this book to thriller and YA lovers who want characters who are older on the spectrum.

I got this book for review off NetGalley and it is publish by Simon and Schuster UK on the 12th February 2015 (Tomorrow).

Short Story: Demons in my Head

Haló guys, so this another edited repost story. I've read a through some of them, I have realised that I don't like all of them but I guess it shows growth or something to repost those one as well. Still I decided to post one I do sort of like this week's, not like growing proud of it through. I don't think I do the subject matter well, mainly because I did no research to do it properly. I've changed certain words, rewrote parts of a sentences, corrected the spellings, put in missing words and put in whole new sentences.

This story was originally written for a contest where I was to write something based off a image and the story had to contained a quote. I think it was given out at random, but I also did contests where you picked the image. It came third in the contest, which was called So Morbid, So Lovely which how I sometimes think of my self. Here the imagine and the quote so off we go:

  Quote:“You're Crazy!” he said. I rolled my eyes, “Please, we prefer the term 'Mentally Unstable'.”

 Demons in my Head

Four padded white walls, four legs on this bed, four straps on this straight jacket and four of people who ain't there. Being alone only makes them more here. I wish they hadn't left me alone with no defence against the demons in my head

I laugh as I run from him, he chasing me to receive his stolen ipod. I had slipped his earphones out of his ears and started running with ipod tightly gripped in my hand. He would have caught me by now if he hadn't been half a sleep. He had been the fastest runner at our old school and still could out run me easily. He makes a grab for my hand but I avoid him by a inch. I'm starting to get out of breath and won't be able to run for much longer where as he still trains to be the best.

I jump on the brick wall that only gets higher as it goes on, he doesn't join me. I continue to run until a tree branch blocks my path. If it had been winter I could have gotten through but summer leaves have formed a thick wall. I would be fine, I'm well above him now, anyway. He can't reach me. I stop and try to repay my oxygen debt. He just stands there, staring up at me with chocolate brown eyes.

“Give me my ipod, Beth,” he says in a strict voice, trying to look mad but his eyes are betraying him. He's clearly amused.

“What in it for me, hur? What are you going to do for me, Adam?” I say as I wave the ipod above him, just out of his reaching point. He goes to grab it but misses miserably. I laugh at him. “Not until you do something for me.”

“Fine, I'll kid on to be your boyfriend while your sister in town but for the record I still think it's a bad idea.”

“Thank you, Adam. You're the best. You can have your ipod back now. Here catch” I kid on to throw the ipod down but before lowing it down by it's earphones. Adam grabs his ipod and starts to head back.

“Ain't you forgetting something,”

“What?” He says without turning towards me.

“Me!” I jump from the wall on to his back. He wobbles but manages to stay up right, grabbing my legs. He can take my weight easier, but him dropping me is a likely possibility.

“How could I ever forget about you?” He says pulling my arms from his neck, I fall on to the ground. “Oh, wait I didn't.” He laughs at my unladylike like position on the pavement .

“Shut up and give me your hand,” He obeyed me and pulls me up a bit hard. I hit his chest. Suddenly, things become tense, strange, I move back slightly to look up at him. I notice his lips and have a urge that I've never had before. I kiss him and ran down the tree covered path.

*

I don't know what happen. How or why I'm here but then it comes back, compressing my chest. So that I can no longer breath. The only people I've seen are the doctors and nurses. My sister came once but never again, she won't be back for me. None of my friends have came to visit me but who wants to visit the home of the insane. The memories of what really happen, come and go as they please. I only have them for company now. I wish I was alone. I wish Adam was here.

”I'm in this with you,” Adam said reassuringly as he pushed me further into the room. I regret agreeing to this. I probably would have ran by now if Adam didn't keep stopping me. I didn't want to see my sister and her fabulous fiancée, Francis. I hadn't met him yet but I already hated him.

“It might not be that bad,” he says kissing my cheek. He been doing a lot of that recently but we've been avoiding my kiss. I feel slightly braver and I walk fully into the posh restaurants. I could never afford to eat here but my sister says she paying, so I'm ordering the most expensive thing on the menu.

“Over here, Bethany.” I've been spotted. I turn around to see my sister waving us over. I take my time walking over there, squeezing Adam hand too tightly.

“Hello Baby Sister,” She is 3 years older than me but acts like it a century.

“Hi,” I reply inaudible to anyone who isn't part bat. I feel unconformable around her now, we were close as kids but she got weird once she went into High school and was worst after the accident.

We sat and ate dinner, we talk about pointless things like Kate's career and her wedding. She never asked how I was or how long Adam and I had been dating. She wasn't interested in me, I hadn't figured out her motive for wanting to see me but it became clear during desert.

“Well, BB...”

“Stop calling me that,” I was not letting her still call me that. I wasn't a baby any more.

“Okay,” She smiled her fake smile, “As I was saying, I have other motives than just sisterly love for wanting to see you.” Knew it, “I was wondering if you would give us, the family rings?”

“Don't ask stupid question,” I said smiley and happily, “Of course I won't.” Her fake smile vanished.

“Why not? You're never going to get married. Come on, you're don't even have a real boyfriend. So Adam what did she do make you agree? Pay you.”

“She didn't do anything but be great girlfriend. We're not pretending,” I love Adam even more at this moment. Kate rolled her eye.

“Come on, just give me the rings.”

“No, mum left them to me, you got basically everything else but I got the rings and I'm keeping them.” I said firmly.

“Fine then, I give you the jewellery box for them,”

“You broke the jewellery box by flowing it down the stairs.”

“It was cheap and worthless,”

“It was Grandma's, everything isn't about money Kathleen.”

“Mum didn't love you,” That was it. I picked up the glass and didn't even think. The red wine landed on Kate's face and would stain her white thousand dollar dress which she had been so happy to tell us at the beginning of the dinner.

“You're Crazy!” She screamed. I rolled my eyes,
“Please, we prefer the term 'Mentally Unstable'.”

And those were our parting words, I didn't know at the time but it was soon to become true.
I was on the path of becoming unstable.

It started with catching things in the corner of my eye, to seeing dark figures everywhere. Hearing people call my name when I was alone to full conversions with people who had no face. Adam was the first to noticed it, he dragged me to the doctors. They give me pills but things only got worse. I started to blank out and lose hours, even whole days. I had no idea what I had done in these hours. I woke up once to find a dead cat on my kitchen table.

I was finally committed after I went to Kate's wedding and cover her dress with animal blood. She paid for me to “attend” the home of the crazy rich and insanely famous. I joke but it horrible. I've been left, I haven't got better but I haven't got worse. I still know that I'm crazy, that they're not real.
They are my only company and since I tried to escape this morning, I won't be seeing anyone else for a while. I don't remember. I apparently attack a grand. So I'm in padded cell and Ray is banging against my head.

He the worse out of them all, he whispers bad things in my ears. I'm petty sure he the one who does the bad things too. I'm ignoring him but my defences are becoming weaker instead of better. I don't think I can hold on much longer, They'll take over. The demons in my head will be out soon.

Book Review: Me and Mr J by Rachel McIntyre

 I was totally not attracted to this book by the fact Harley Quin calls the joker Mr J.

Fifteen-year-old Lara finds her soulmate. There’s just one problem – he’s her teacher.


 Lara's life has changed radically since her father lost his job. As the eldest, Lara tries to keep upbeat, and the one outlet for all her problems is her diary where she can be open about how dire everything is at home, and worse, the fact that she’s being horrifically bullied at school.


And then a shining light comes out of the darkness – the new young and MALE teacher, Mr Jagger. The one person who takes Lara seriously and notices her potential. The one person who is kind to her. The one person who she falls madly and hopelessly in love with. The one person who cannot reciprocate her feelings … can he?

In refection I don't like the title of this book as its grammar incorrect and well grammatically rude. It should be "Mr J and I". I actually think the title is fine, but then again the main character is meant to be getting A* in her English Exam so you're think she know better even though school don't really teach grammar anymore. Okay, I'll stop wasting a paragraph by grammatically judging the title.

The book is written in the form of a dated diary which works both for the character and her story. Lara is likable and I really wanted things to work out for her.

This book deals with bullying, the extreme kind. There were a few times where she should have went to the police, nevermind the school and her parents. The ways she deals with the bully is quite realistic, except I feel Lara's emotionally level jumps about.

I give this book 3/5 stars for terrible Gran Gifts. This is a quick interesting read. The way the plot elements -even small ones- add up to make the ending, is something I really like.

I got this book off Netgalley for Review and it was published by Electric Monkey recently.

Book Review: Unspeakable by Abbie Rushton

Does anyone else think it's odd that not speaking is becoming a trend in YA books? (e.g.
Speechless by Hannah Harrington and -I'm sure there is- others)

 Megan doesn't speak. She hasn't spoken in months.

Pushing away the people she cares about is just a small price to pay. Because there are things locked inside Megan's head - things that are screaming to be heard - that she cannot, must not, let out.

Then Jasmine starts at school: bubbly, beautiful, talkative Jasmine. And for reasons Megan can't quite understand, life starts to look a bit brighter.

Megan would love to speak again, and it seems like Jasmine might be the answer. But if she finds her voice, will she lose everything else?

I didn't feel very sympathetic towards Megan at the start of the book. Even as someone who suffers from Select Mutism, her not speaking annoyed me (maybe it annoyed more because it). It portrayed more as being a choice for her in her head and not something she can't do mentally. Her reasons for being silent are really bad as well.

Time for 'Rachel Verna points out random things in the book' section of this review: So Luke comes from incestuous family, "Luke starts to tell me about his nephews and how they terrorised the poor babysitter the last time his aunt and uncle went out." I thought about this, trying to think where this wouldn't be incest related, it all comes to complicated family matters. Or maybe it's actually his cousins, or Megan was not actually listening. Luke's Aunt and Uncle are possibly also his brother and sister.

The ending felt little bit like a cop out. The mystery of what actually happened is a bit so what. To be honest, I'm in a trend where I'm bored by plot points. There is a good attempt at misleading us.

I guess I should talk about the relationships in this book, as it is a LGBT romance book. I don't know. The relationships are realistic, the teens are realistic. Megan not understanding her feelings towards Jasmine at first is something I liked.

Overall, I gave this book four out of five stars for breathing techniques. I enjoyed reading this book and it nice to see a different relationship dynamic in very YA setting. And am a terrible reviewer who should have forced myself to write this whole review straight after I read it.

I got this book off Netgalley for review and it's being published by tomorrow (5th February 2015).