Teenhood is going to leave me

So I only have a week left as a teenager.

Maybe that why's I've been down recently, I mean subconsciously. Its the whole not being where I thought I be. However, I didn't really know what I want to do.

I mean, I do. I want to be a writer. Writer is what I am. What I want to be is: A published writer, one that gets/or makes money off their writing. I have ads on here but have never made off here. I make like 50p month off my Booktube channel.

I broke right now by the way.

So nothing about my mysterious future, lets talk about my actual terrible time as a teenager.

Okay, it wasn't all that terrible. But it wasn't that happy and my strongest memories are the sort of terrible ones.

My school career offically became a pile of crap. I didn't get to do the choices I wanted, never doing chemistry has really always haunted me and majorly fucked up my (first) 6th year. I also had the depressing experinces of repeating 6th year. I shall forever be able to lie to Americans about going to Hogwarts. Get it, 7th year.

I had horrible house teachers, that should know they both suck at their jobs. The teachers who actually taught me were pity good. All my biology teachers were awesome. English always taught me something and I can write a good essay even if they did just ignore creative writing.

I ended being rather disillusion with the education systems as no one ever gave a fuck about individual stunet. You either do it now, or fuck off because they was no way they were going actually try and improve you. I guess as Dyslexic with obvious signs of possible being Austic/sectively mute (I'm not going near that mess at the moment) High school was never going to be totally happy experince.

Generally, I was never all that happy in my current location where I spent the whole of my teenage years. I made few friends and frankly any one with brain eventually leaves this place even if they ended up back here. I just think I really need to leave. Goal for the past four years.

Cool stuff I did as a teen:
I went to Florida two times in that time. I saw My Chemical Romance and Fall Out Boy, I went to T in the Park for the first time, I killed a guy, I got half way through a novel, I started 2 you tube channels that currently have roughly 50 subscribers after like 80 videos on each; I went on the run, I have managed to acquired a what could be called a library of books (over three hundred); it safe to say I've read over 240 books taking to count I only really start to count since 2011; I've change my mind about what I want to do with my life at least 5 times; I own two typewriters and have kept this blog going for over a year (even if I have lied about some the dates).

So some of that was a lie, guess which. That right I have yet to see Fall Out Boy in concert but you know that could happen now that appear to be back.

So that 7 years of my life is over, let just cry in corner about only being 10 years away from being 30.

My Chem go Bye Bye

I woke today to some horrid news. My chemical Romance was no more. There had broke up. I have yet to find an actual answer to the reason why. My best friend was the one to informed me of this, by her status on facebook and message me with "MACE ARGH!" So distested was she and later me that spelling went out the window with the chances of ever seeing them live again.

Strangely I'm not shocked. Yes, disappointed. I feel I should probably be shocked and devastated. There was talk of album being released this year. Obviously not happening now. I was looking forward to seeing them in concert again. Even though I saw before, I immediately wanted to see them again afterwards.

Thankfully, that we did see them though. My best friend and I will always have that shared memory of MCR rocking MENA. In fact, that concert was in March right before the Easter Holidays two years ago. I guess my MCR memories will always be in March.

I would like to know why they've decided to call it quits. I just like there to be reason behind things, and I want to know the answer to everything that effects me. Unrealistic but I like answers.

It just another stab to the fact that in 7 weeks time I'll no longer be a teenager. MCR have made up a big pact of my Teenhood. There have been the soundtrack to some of the best and worse times in my short life. I'll always remember listening to them on the bus on the way to school (rare to be actually to go to school that way) or on my way home relieved that I've survived another day. Welcome to the Black Parade playing at the school dance, The Black Parade stand outside Woolworths before it disappeared. I still hear as "This is How I Disappear" when I walk though the turn to my house from the main road. The trees there just trigger it.  There also the time I order a crap load of stuff from official website and got it shipped all the way from America. I walked through the snow/ice to my Grandma's to collect the package. That sadly excited for the contents. Frankly, My Chem is the band I spent the most money on ever. A love for MCR is something I share with my best friend and there lot other crap that only I probably care about.

I wouldn't say My Chemical Romance saved my life. That would just be too dramatic.

There were just there when I was down or even when I want to jump around like a fool. Their music made me feel better a lot of times. The whole you're not alone really helps when you're lonely teen who struggles to communicate.

So Farewell My Chemical Romance (because we gonna kid on there actually a chance one of them might read this). Thanks for all the good times and your music. It sad you won't make any more or ever play again but we're always have the albums and the memories.

So I'm off to sing "Teenagers" while I'm still one of them. Probably end up singing "The Kids of Yesterday". Lets all just take some solace in Fall Out Boy being back together. It not much.