Book Review: What I couldn't Tell You by Faye Bird

There's a lot a couldn't you. Most of it isn't important.

When Love turns to jealousy, when jealousy turns to rage, when rage turns to destruction...

Laura was head over heels in love with Joe. But Laura lies in a coma and Joe has gone missing. Was he the one who attacked her?

Laura's sister Tessie is Selectively Mute. She can't talk but she can listen. And as people tell her their secrets, she thinks she's getting close to understanding what happened that fateful night.

I read this book because mystery and Selective Mutism. I am Selectively Mute and have been during a video series of reviews on novel with Silent Protagionist, so I found this book looking for books to review for it. This intrigued me as it was Mystery which seems to be the second favourite to straight up contemporary.

The Selective Mutism is done okay. Sometimes it felt a bit more telling but Bird also does a good job of showing Tessie stress from the threat of speaking. Tessie is bullied by two people, they seem to have no lifes. Maybe we should feel sorry for Kat and Holly. Remember Kids, bullies have no lifes and feel free to argue why do they spend so much time annoying you (unless they punch you, then go to the cops). 

My least favourite part is the romance side of this novel. It's a cringey. I just never got that side at all, I guess completely lust based and that's just not the romance for me. Tessie is a bit of bad friend and it can't be excused by the hard time and her SM. It's realistic be a bad friend sometimes because of a boy but it bit extreme. Tessie also runs on juvenile side for a 15 year old, but it could be argue because of how extreme her SM is, she delay in her relationship understanding.

Another big part of the book is the bond Tessie has with her family and their dynamic with in it. Tessie's mother has symtoms of depression before Laura's accident and her part was helping her mother cope. So without her Tessie and her older brother have to keep going mostly. The family being in limbo is explored a lot and the half grief they feel.

This story is mostly told in first person by Tessie with different parts. An odd choice is to just list exactly what happens to everyone after the story ends like in a film. I've never seen that in a book before but I guess it get the point across. 

Overall, I give this book 4/5 stars for missed words. This was decent portrayal of selective mutism, probably the best I've seen in book form yet. The crime/thriller aspect was decent but the romance for me really lets this book now for me, especially with ending up being such a major part of the novel. I don't know if the book would have worked without it either, I guess that part just wasn't for me.

Book Review: Submarine by Joe Duntorn

Starting October with the Horror of Pretentious Teenage Boys.

Meet Oliver Tate, fifteen years old. Convinced that his father is depressed ('Depression comes in bouts. Like boxing. Dad is in the blue corner') and his mother is having an affair with her capoeira teacher ('a hippy-looking twonk'), he embarks on a hilariously misguided campaign to bring the family back together. Meanwhile, he is also trying to lose his virginity - before he turns sixteen - to his pyromaniac girlfriend Jordana. Will Oliver succeed in either aim? Submerge yourself in Submarine and find out . . .

No, I never did find out why this book is called submarine.  This opens greatly and has a lot of good one liners, especially towards the start but after page 200 (the edition I read was 290 pages) I was done with Oliver. Especially, as all of the plot stuff that this novel has was completely resolved (or as much as it gets in this novel). If I liked Oliver as a person or character, then maybe those 90 pages of pointlessness would have been fun. 

Oliver is realistic teenage boy, the sort I personally would hated even as a teenager. His actions make him so unlikable and never learns from his actions. He's really immature for a fifteen, he comes across as thirteen. Sure, they are people like that, but I don't want to read about them. Though, I still want to watch the movie. Less about this book, more to do with who was involved in making it. 

This book has mental illness, relationships in trouble and the teen hormones that lead to what that usually does. It's just there. If you want a glimpse into the life of really annoying person. 

The writing style is meant to be a diary but also obviously breaks that format a lot. Oliver is pretentious so there's some attempt at depth and Dunton manages to capture that pretentious voice of a 15 year old boy that needs to grow up.

Overall, I give this book 2/5 stars for shoe stealing. I don't the main character so I didn't like the book, that's the risk with character driven characters. I didn't anything from this. I don't know who this book is for, teenage boys you want to throw off a bus?

Book Review: I was Here by Gayle Forman

I might of wrote this review whilst I still had tears in my eyes from reading this book.

This characteristically powerful novel follows eighteen-year-old Cody Reynolds in the months following her best friend's shocking suicide. 

As Cody numbly searches for answers as to why Meg took her own life, she begins a journey of self-discovery which takes her to a terrifying precipice, and forces her to question not only her relationship with the Meg she thought she knew, but her own understanding of life, love, death and forgiveness.

I always end up reading Forman's work in one sitting as I can't stop reading. I've ended up with sleepless nights because of her but luckily I started reading this book early in a day where I had nothing to tear me away from it. So it was only 1.50am by the time I finished.

Cory goes on this quest to figure out what pushed Meg to kill herself. There part was  mostly well done. However, I feel there are parts that were clearly misleading and slightly unbelievable that certain things didn't come up till the perfect point, especially after having actually read the whole book.

The characters and relationships were once again beautifully done. All the characters we come across have their purpose in the plot and Cory's journey but they're all feel real, like they have full back stories and their own lives going on.

This book is of course sad and I was crying my eyes out during the last chapters, but I actually felt kinda happy at the end. Maybe I just need a cry to relieve my stress levels. However, I find this book oddly life confirming. It deals with tragic topic as well as the grief that Meg's family and Cory go through so well.

This book's ending is great and that last sentences were the prefect way to end the story.

Overall, I gave this book 5 Stars of 5 for bus rides. I recommend this if you're doing a Read-a-Thon or if you need a purifying crying.

I got this off Netgalley for review. It being published by Simon and Schuster on 29th January 2015.

Book Review: How to Build a Girl: A Novel by Caitlin Moran

I relate to this book on a spiritual level.


What do you do in your teenage years when you realize what your parents taught you wasn't enough? You must go out and find books and poetry and pop songs and bad heroes—and build yourself.

It's 1990. Johanna Morrigan, fourteen, has shamed herself so badly on local TV that she decides that there's no point in being Johanna anymore and reinvents herself as Dolly Wilde—fast-talking, hard-drinking gothic hero and full-time Lady Sex Adventurer. She will save her poverty-stricken Bohemian family by becoming a writer—like Jo in Little Women, or the Brontës—but without the dying-young bit.

By sixteen, she's smoking cigarettes, getting drunk, and working for a music paper. She's writing pornographic letters to rock stars, having all the kinds of sex with all the kinds of men, and eviscerating bands in reviews of 600 words or less.

But what happens when Johanna realizes she's built Dolly with a fatal flaw? Is a box full of records, a wall full of posters, and a head full of paperbacks enough to build a girl after all?

So I have taken up walking as a form of exercise. It gets boring quickly so I thought I would try audio books. It was a success, it made me walk longer but then it got dark outside and I keep listening to it so it was too success in the entertainment side. I listened to the audio book narrated by Louise Brealey, who was really good and brought the character to life.

I could really related to Johanne, I got to say it weird how in Twenty years Britain has went full circle. High Streets empty and dogs being great friends. Wait, that last thing has always been true.

I'm finding it hard to explain to this book with spoiling because I think a lot of it great parts you should come across yourself whilst reading. The relationship within the families are done well 

Overall, I gave this book 5 for 5 stars for entertaining bad decisions. This book dealt with a lot of issues really well whilst still being hilarious. I would highly recommend it to everyone.

P.S. Happy New Year.

Univeristy Thoughts (I'm so lonely).

My parents have this concern if I go to uni I'll be rather lonely. I don't share this concern that much since there is always phones, skype, Facebook and other wonders of the internet. I mean there lots of ways that I can keep in touch with my family. Sure I might end up being lonely but I'm already lonely where I am.

Family is great and all however none of them really share the same interest with me. I have no real friends down here. Anyone I get friendly with, has this tendency of moving away. Most of my friendships have ended with a moving van (and no none of them were ran over by a van). I still friends with them on Facebook which I would still be able to do if I moved across the country.

I think my parents are so concern I do what my brother did. Sure, I do have a history of avoiding school but most of those times was caused by other factors. I'm applying for something I like, I'm not just settling for being offer to be. Sure, there is university that my parents would be prefer be to go to cause they're closer to home or other family members live near there but I'm not going let geography define what I do for the four years of uni (It might end up being 3 years of uni). Frankly I've already made that mistake.

My parents have this double standard of saying that worry about me if anything was to happen to them because they don't think I'm independent enough. I don't know if they're just lumping me in with young half of their children. One of the reasons I think going to uni would be good for me is that it would force me to be independent. I would have to learn to survive on my own, but in more of a safe environment than just randomly moving to another city.

I know there's not a lot stuff that I do for myself. I don't do the ironing because I suck at it and have no need to learn to be better. I don't do the general cleaning of the rest of the house. Yes, I hover but with 5 hairballs of pets that always going to be a losing battle. I don't how to use a washing machine, the one time I tempted it I dye some of my clothes and probably damaged the others. I also don't buy my own food. Though, I live in a house where food tends to become life for another organism before any humans get to it.

I just hate where I live, I guarantee that I won't be living down here as soon as I can afford to live by myself. Mainly, because there not a film industrial of any kind. Sure, films have been filmed around here but not regularly. Even in terms of writing, this place just makes me unhappy and there nothing here for me but depressing sites. I basically want to leave so I never run into someone from I know every time I go out.

I just hate it here and it feels like I'm always about to spill into depression around here. My parents bring up these points. Going uni is already a scary notion, it been 4 years that I've wanted to go to uni and I haven't backed down. I'm sick of uni seemly like a pipe dream. I know it going to be hard for me to get in because life hasn't been fair. However, I'm not going to stop that from stopping me for going for it.

I want to study Film and English. I don't care if those are hard jobs to get into afterwards. Someone does do them and maybe I'll be one of those people.

Book Review: Paradise by Joanna Nadin

My secret is that I enjoy writing deaths of beloved characters.

Everybody has a secret.

When Billie inherits her grandmother's house, it's a fairytale come true. Maybe She can find the father she's never met. But moving back to her mum's childhood home dredges up secrets- and Billie soon discovers that people may die, but the past lives forever.

I have no strong feelings towards this book. It was aright. It is something I would call a light read (though does involves dark themes). Its a bit too heavy with the whole...

I really like layout of the book, the chapters switch between Billie's point of view of the present and the point of view of a family member of the past. While this book is about Billie, it more about how Billie came to be and the family dynamics that Billie's mum, Het grew up with and explains why she the way she is partly.

Billie's mum does annoy me sometimes. Just her actions, what she puts Billie and Finn through,  but that's probably intentional. She obviously surfing from some sort of mental illness, even if its straight up depression. She just really selfish like they no consideration for her kids, even though she is mentally ill they should have been some of glimpse of actually caring about her kids. Its all about her.

There three romances in this book, the only one I actually care for is the one that it would be too much of a spoiler to talk about. There others just seemed like replacements for actually liking ones family.

I do like the ending, its leaves with hope that Billie will gain something like what she wanted to from  moving there.

Overall, I gave this book 3/5 stars for the terrible post names.

Sleep Now, Clean Later

So now that I no longer have to dance and sing every night, I've been very productive in every other field. I don't why I lie to you, you basically my diary (but not cause I write my dark stuff in Mikey and daily stuff in my dated diary) and I have a clear track on here as being a Procrastinator. I'm not sure what I meant by that opening sentence.

I've also been a Twenty for a week and I'm old.

I've began the process of tidying my room, actually began this process weeks ago. I got so annoyed by the state of bed tonight that I put the piles of clothes into binbags (just for now) so I could change it and fix the damn thing. My bed is actually broken, the wooded bars have became lose so fall out and some have basically snapped. I'm feeling a big mas reorganising coming this summer as soon as I'm done with college (which I need to catch up majorly).

Though, tidying of my room and making of mood boards has been heidence by illness. I just been really worned now lately. I been close to vomiting, always fun. Its the tiredness that really getting to me. I mean coughing and pain I can live with but wanting to sleep all the time, well it really wastes up a lot of time. I'll sleep for over 12 hours and still feel tired. It just so hard to get anything done or care about getting things done.

I mean, the only reason my bed finially got changed is because I live in my bed, its been bugging me for months and in state of tiredness I dumped everything off my bed and changed it only because I could literally not sleep in it in the state was in and I know most people would have got to that stage after the chocolate had melted between the sheets and mattress (the bottom sheet had came undone and it rolled under there and I never notice). When depressed and busy you really don't care.

Mentally I'm feeling better, I feel tired all the time but I don't want to sleep all the time, that just keeps happening. I've also started reading again, Oh and making Book Tubes videps. So I'm showing the signs of getting out of this cycle of depression.

See you next week, I'm off to read or sleep. Probably sleep.