A List Of Not

My goal of applying for things is not going well. I just cannot bring myself to do it. As I'm writing this, I should be finishing an applicant for a potentially cool job.

Things I did instead of filling out this application:

• Went to the cinema and saw four films in a row (one was in 3D)
• Watch videos about the Drama that is Vegan YouTube (take victims for the love of God)
• Cuddle my dog like a baby
• Joined a readathon and start trying to come with a TBR for it.
• Have mini-panic attacks about wasting time instead of just answering these questions.
• Argue with my dog about her crying at me.
• Check my DNA update on Ansery.com (not sponsored). 
• Annoying my dog by waking her up
• Wrote several nonsensical tweets about this process.
• My dog demanded love by attack kissing me.
• Reminiscing about past Productions, I was involved with.
• Shutting down American Headcanons of Harry Potter. 
• Wrote this list.

I ended up summiting the application but have no faith that it will go well. But that's life. Who knows maybe they're be real impressed by rambling for six paragraphs for one question. I suck. If I hadn't procrastinated, but I also have been trying to read six library books in one day.

I get too anxious about these things. I haven't been pushing myself as much. I mean have been failing to write on this blog or review books either. I have done some smaller reviews but not to a standard at all. More just random thoughts about books that will never get proper reviews.

I haven't filmed anything, editing has been touched and then abandoned. I still want to do all these things. Part of it being a carer but mainly I think I've been letting the day get away from me. I lack structure. Maybe a schedule would help, but I'm not sure if a self-made one would work.

Not sponsored but I brought Grammarly Premimun. I wonder how it can possibly worth £20 a month. We're be seeing if it is.
I'm certainly going to cancel it after this month. I was just feeling slightly panicked, and I should go back into writing, so maybe it will be usefully.

Going to see Pink tomorrow which is bound to be a thing, since we did not manage to get Disabled tickets.

Pink and Tired.

My house has now been painted. So I can take everything up the stairs again. Not yet though, still ton of stuff in my livingroom. I did re-organise the mess they made. Things still have random plaster everywhere.

I'm annoyed still. My sleeping pattren was a mess today. Finally, went to sleep at 3am, had been in bed since midnight. I woke up right before 6am, so less than 3 hours of sleep. Let Leia out so could mess around in the Garden, she gets out constantly because she loves to wake everyone up for cuddles and kisses. She can't do this to me, since I've been sleeping my bunk bed at my parents because my house is a mess so who knows what woke me.

I went back to bed, I kinda woke at nine, but did not regain conscious till half noon, left bed at one and I'm still tired. Woke to the news that the Glasgow high street was once again on fire. The ABC and the Glasgow School of Art are now mssing their roofs and whatever other damage that's likely.That's the third time this year. Something just seem off with that that. Does Glasgow have Supervillian? Realistically not, it just something isn't right with that.

I have did nothing today that I should have. I'm still editing a video that should have went up Monday, I don't know if I should just give up on it. I'm doubting myself. I like parts of it, I just need to edit the bad out I guess.

Its took long I'm just not happy, because I mess up the first time so it just set off as bad. I'm just going to keep with it. I know I just need to push through it. I'm hoping to finish for tomorrow but If I don't, I'm probably going to push it for next Friday.

I'm also like done with Drag Race this season. I stopped watching ep 11 and I just can't be bother to go back to it. I'll probably will. We're apparently getting British Drag Race, but I'm just so not interested in seeing any more of Rupaul. I know he'll make money either way, but I rather not see his face. His judging is usually really bad as well. I watch Drag Race for the Queens, not a bitter old man who refuses to change with the times.

I'm going to dye my hair tonight, despite not actually having time. I'm just so sick of my hair. Just gonna dye it a random colour that'll probably not last that long. Pink. Pink tends to fade as rule. Nor really had my hair pink outside of dying my hair red with pink undertones rather than it going orange when it fades. My hair is blue and purple in places from my mother attacking me in March.

Going to try a pastel thing. Probably going to film it as new thing I'm trying. Hair dying does well for whatever reason on YouTube.

I'm off to dye my hair pink, which might appear a bit extra when you find out what the next video I'm going to film is.

The Snow stopped me writing.

There is too much snow. It has interrupted my plans and I have barely left the house. Though, I never leave the house. Leia likes the snow and old now so it just a inconvenient as I try to read books.  Here's the the creative writing I managed based on the snow.
 

Big white lumps filter down, in a wavy motion. The snow had been falling constantly for a hour and I was starting to get worried. They had gone out for logs an hour ago. The log shed being twenty minute walk had always seem stupid. 

 That stops me there. I wasn't going anyway with it. I want to write more and I'm just going to keep trying. I'll finish something, some time. There's also that novel I started on here as well. Maybe I have a look at that last chapter I was working on.

For now, I'm taking part in a readathon, the Winter Biannual Bibliothon. A name of a readathon I can't say and there are video challenges so I fail to say it a lot. I'm vlogging it, while super aware of that Bout of Books vlog sitting in a editing project without a end and sitting at 1 hour and 30 mintues. Yeah, I need to fix that. I don't care if anyone watches it, I'm still uploading it.

In a exactly a month, I won't be a YouTube Partner anyway. It pretty clear that our ten years together mean nothing to YouTube, how shocking to learn that a company doesn't care about one consist user. Though, YouTube is going to demonistised most of the YouTubers I actually watch so won't be making any money off of me.

It was never about the money, but YouTube are always such dicks about introducing new polices and the hours watched thing is such a dick move. I wish someone had the smarts to start another YouTube and succeed. That's the thing, YouTube can do whatever it wants because everyone whose challenge d them failed. If enough big YouTubers walked then maybe something could be started but also probably not.

It does make me wonder what YouTube would have to do. The subscriptions boxes have been fucked for years and still here we all are.

I'm just gonna make videos and we see if I can somehow hit a thousand subscribers before then. Remember to subscribe, like and maybe I should stop using google products.

Talkie Talkie Time with Noname

Hello guys, no story this week because I just wanted to talk to you about life and stuff. Stuff can be interesting.

I'm still taking part in Camp NaNoWriMo with a novel instead of short stories. Though, I have calmed down a lot. The words poured out of me but I have just been dipping slowly from me. I might take a break from Video Tapes and I'm also just keeping referring to that novel with different names. I think the big problem that it has no real plot and the characters ain't distinctive enough from each other. I keep telling myself that it can be fix with editing if I'm still enamoured with this book by the end of the month. As of today, I'm still ahead of 50,000 word goal, with 19,221 words written in total. 18,562 words being from the novel.

The thing is that yes, today isn't over, but I've only wrote 750 words today, which is bad because for most days I have not been writing at least 2000 words, not even 1,667 words that meant to be my average. This is a worry as I'm spending three days filming something with the YFMC for six hours a day and I wrote okay when I was doing the three hour day but I know me and if I'm not writing now, I won't be on those days. If guys are interested in how I'm doing then you can find my novel stats on my Camp NaNoWriMo profile. I might do another short story to break up my funk or I'm just going to start throwing vampires into my novel.

By the Bye, I made the twitter that the main character runs in the novel where she mocks the company she works for: @24HourVideo

I have also been negating my Journal as I almost never finished writing an entry into it in one sitting. There was like a month where I wrote nothing even though I had thoughts I wanted to noted down and to express to the void. Lot of odd dreams not recorded.

Friday's video on my BookTube channel didn't go up, purely on the fact I couldn't be arsed to edit till Friday morning where I had a driving lesson. Also Monday's video is currently 30 minutes long because I don't feel like editing it into one video which it should be as I switch between two topics. It should maybe be three.

In terms of procrastination and what I've been watching. I've recently watched all of Brickleberry,  Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, started rewatching Courage the Cowardly Dog that it turns out I have seen the whole first series which unusual for shows you watched as a kid as there causally always one you've missed. I also started back on my quest to watch all the Are You Afraid of the Dark? I'm on to like the 5th episode of the seventh and last season so I be finished soon. May I just say that the last season starts weird with this three part story that revolves around the Midnight Society that seems more like it should have been the series finale, but someone messed up the run order. It also would have been better if there had got more of the actual original Midnight Society involved rather than just Gary and his brother's friends. Though, they probably weren't thinking in terms of the whole series and just the mini-reboot.

I'm still learning to drive and I'm still doing dumb stuff when doing it. I put too much gas on before changing gear but I have almost conjured roundabouts and heisting at junctions. Almost. Though, I could be doing them better in my own car.

The only thing left to discuss is the creative thing I did with others, which was claymation video. We all made our own characters and then came up with a story to match these characters. It ended up being a video game motif which is funny as there is a video game that was made using claymation. Having us make our characters without guidance was problematic as the characters were all different sizes and the main one was bigger than everyone else being getting her to fit in shot was hard. The characters were diverse. Some were humans, unicorn elephants, vegetable Star Wars parody, dragons from a volcano world and Mrs Vegetable Man. This is my favourite as it's is in love with female mermaid and the Mrs indicates he's a woman and there is a lot of last names with man in them. Kids didn't make the connect that we have a queer character in there by accident. He's at least intersex. He also started life as just a carrot creature. I filmed bits and bobs to document what we were up to and it's was edited and is on YouTube and I might do more of that this summer. Nope, you don't get to see it.

I kinda want to take over their YouTube channel as it needs work on a basic level and I want to make it more pleasing on a basic level.

As for my character, I went for the horror look and out of laziness. I got far too much for praise for the level of effect I put in. I did put some effect in but her design was from ease and influence by other people's styles. Also I'm doing work next to school kids when I'm old and have a art Higher. I actually just started adding to my set out of boredom and trying to make the perfect tree. In terms of my character info and stuff: she doesn't speak, has no name, she timeless, she is a tree creature and lives in forest.

 That's all for this week, enjoy the horror of my set till we meet again next week.

Farewell.

Wordy Slumps: Writing, Reading, VIdeo making.

I feel like writing, but nothing is coming to me as I try. I'm meant to doing Camp NaNoWriMo this month but that been a complete fail. I'm probably only wrote slightly over 1000 words creatively so far this month and there is only four days left.

This blog been slacking as well, I've been cheating with the dates as well. Reviews as well as the post. I just been struggling to write anything and figure out the way I want to write. Plots there, but I'm never happy with the words when I finally to get any out.

I'm kinda back on reading, but I hadn't actually reading that much since college stopped. I did the BookTube-a-Thon and managed to do all the challenges including reading 2166 pages. However, I just didn't want to read after the week till Friday, I needed a five day break.

I'm also meant to be doing VEDJ (Video Every Day in July) but that has failed past week. I've filmed two videos repeatedly but all the takes were shit, so never even started editing it. 

I've also done no drawing, I want to draw petty things like boys, men kissing. 

Also no job, not even jobs that there any point applying to because dear children, most jobs when you have no proper training/experince/driving lisence required you to talk and as you all know talking is not something I do. Speaking to a camra, yes, but not so much to people. 

Life is not fun when you're unemployed, no clue as why anyone likes this. Sure, you don't have to leave your bed but its gets rather pointless.

I'm going to see about voluntering, basically not leaving the house for a month is enough of nothing. I need the experince as well you know helping people and it important to do good stuff. I don't properly give money to charity, I sometimes buy books from charity shops for a little more than there worth in present condition but that still me getting something from it. So yeah, help the world and that. 

I'm off to hopefully get some reading done. By the Bye, the Wednesday review isn't likely to be every week as I'm not as reading as much but reviews will now only appear on Wednesdays when they do appear here. See you lot next week.

Freedom to be Busy with things of my choising (Summer plans)

I'm rather tired at the moment, I went into Dumf (Home of Escaping) on the purpose of getting food out of Marks & Spencer to last me while my parents away next week. Very excitingly my sister and I will have the house to ourselves for a full week and since neither of us know how to drive we will basically won't be able to leave the house.

I also got a dress that's slightly too big and went to the Indian which was good. I'm almost tempted to end this post here instead of writing my tended stuff such as being finally done with college (at least for the summer) and now I can do all that stuff I've been despeaate to do but I have been putting off due to my college and feeling terrible. First plans are to tidy my room, reorganise my clothes and then my books. My room always needs tidying, I currently have limited access to my clothes and my bookcase have been buging for months due to read series not being together and them generally lukering about.

I'm also planning to catch up with my comic books as well as put a dent in my owned to be read list and do some creative stuff. Just basically all the stuff I've been wanting to do but have had to put off in favour of college.

I also have some big video plans that I'll discuss on my vlog/booktube channel tomorrow. I've recenty brought a memory card that allows me to film for over 160 minutes on it which is awesome and  bought a tripod this week. A big one thats taller than me, unlike the tiny one my mum brought off ebay.

Its not the fact it was off ebay that makes it bad, it just that literally too small have any practical use in filming videos. However, I think it makes a good stress relief toy so it might be good for editing.

With that note I leave you for bed where I'll have sweet dreams of book ideas.